Waiting for God1990

[first lines]

Diana:
Oh! Oh! Ohh! Will you look at that! Now that's very interesting.

Jane:
What is in it?

Diana:
Mind your own business.

Jane:
Is it another missive from those Age Concern people?

Diana:
Yes.

Jane:
I've been meaning to talk to you about them.

Diana:
Oh, really?

Jane:
It's Harvey's blood pressure, you see.

Diana:
Harvey doesn't have blood in his veins, Jane. He runs on oil.

Jane:
He's a very sensitive person.

Diana:
Jane.

Jane:
And the more you provoke him, the greater strain you put on his delicate heart.

Diana:
Oh, I think I'm going to be sick.

Jane:
You- You just don't realize that within that simple exterior there hides the soul of a poet.

Diana:
Ooo-ugh [mimes vomiting]

Jane:
Yes, he, he is still a mortal man. If you prick him, does he not bleed?

Diana:
No, he does not. He squirts pure multi-grade.

Jane:
Oh, Dia...

Jane:
Oh, do shut up, Jane. I, in conjunction with these very splendid people, am going to pull this place into the twentieth century if it kills me. Or better yet if it kills Harvey Bains.