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[about the benefits of getting older]George Carlin: The first one is, you never have to carry anything heavy ever again.[laughter]George Carlin: Everybody wants to help an old f***. If you've got a big suitcase, or something like that, you know, you just kind of go like this a little bit...[pantomimes tugging at a heavy suitcase]George Carlin: And you say "Yeah, can you help me with this?" They say "Yeah, hey, how far are you going?" "Indianapolis."

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