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George Carlin: Here are more parents who outta be beaten with heavy clubs and left bleeding in the moonlight. These are the ones who carry their babies around in their backpacks or frontpacks or slings or whatever these devices are called that are apparently designed to leave the parents hands free to sort through high end merchandise and reach for their platinum credit cards cause it's always these upscale, yuppie looking, greenpeace, environmentally conscious assholes who have them on. I say hey Mr. and Mrs. Natural Fibers [applause] I say hey Mr. and Mrs. Natural Fibers, it's not camping equipment. It's a baby. Touch the little prick now and then he'll thank you for someday.

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