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Dr. Finch: Well, the only loophole or way I could see me getting you out of school for any considerable length of time would be for you... to commit suicide.Augusten Burroughs: You want me to kill myself?Dr. Finch: Well, if you tried to kill yourself, I could explain to the schoolboard that you were psychologically unfit to attend, and that you needed intensive treatment. It would a staged suicide attempt. Of course, your poor mother would have to find you and drive you the hospital, where you would stay for three weeks or a month for observation.Augusten Burroughs: I don't know. It doesn't...Dr. Finch: Augusten. Where is your spirit of adventure?

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