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Zia: I think she cried at my funeral, I don't mean to brag about it or anything, but I'm pretty sure she did. Sometimes I can picture her talking to some guy she feels really close to, about how they lowered me into the grave all pathetic and shriveled up like a melted chocolate bar, and how we never actually got a chance. Then the guy f***s her real nice, f*** it's all about making her feel better.

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    Barbra Streisand's first line in her first movie was...?
    A "Papa, can you hear me?"
    B "Hello gorgeous!"
    C "Hello, Dolly!"
    D "Hi, I am here!"