Quinn Morgendorffer: Mom, Dad, making you happy is the greatest reward I could ask for. Of course, when other kids get a good grade, they sometimes get, like, a little present.Helen Morgendorffer: Now, Quinn, I really think...Jake Morgendorffer: [Interrupts] I'll handle this. You're absolutely right, sweetheart. You got an A, you should be rewarded. Here you go!Quinn Morgendorffer: Thanks, dad.Daria Morgendorffer: Wait, isn't that a double standard?Jake Morgendorffer: Huh?Daria Morgendorffer: You just gave her a twenty for getting one A. What about all the As I get for free?Jake Morgendorffer: Yeah, but this is a special occasion, so Quinn gets a special reward; It's a motivational thing.Daria Morgendorffer: But won't that demotivate your other daughter whose work is consistently good?Helen Morgendorffer: Yes, Jake, where are you going with this?Jake Morgendorffer: I wasn't finished. Daria should have a consistent reward for her consistently good work.Quinn Morgendorffer: Hey!Jake Morgendorffer: And Quinn should have a special one time reward for her one time effort.Daria Morgendorffer: But what about a higher reward for maintaining a standard of excellence over time, perhaps with compound interest?Jake Morgendorffer: ...[Tosses his wallet to Helen] Here, just take it! Helen, I told you I was no good at this parenting crap!
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