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Al: Middle-aged woman comes into the shoe store. She's wearing a blossom hat, you know, the "I'm just a cute young girl of 45" look, and she's looking for something cool to wear to a Crosby, Stills, & Nash reunion concert. So I suggest a nice recyclable paper bag to put over her face, you know, so she can save the planet two ways. So she maces me. But as I lash out blindly, I think I clipped her a good one in the teeth. So, from now on it looks like she'll be gumming the words to "Teach your children"

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    I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
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    C Charles Dickens
    D Oppenheimer