Justified, Season 5

Raylan Givens:
Say, what's the first thing you ever killed? You're from Florida, right?

Kendal Crowe:
Gator, maybe. When I was 11.

Raylan Givens:
I was 11, too, or thereabouts. Wasn't a gator, though. Will Hendricks' pig got out of its pen, went feral, started tearing up my mama's vegetable patch. Arlo built the trap, caught it, gave me a gun, said, "get 'er done." You ever see a pig that's gone feral? Nasty. Tusks grow. They get dirty, ill-tempered. They don't look bad from a distance, but get up close, best watch your ass. You hook the gator before you?

Kendal Crowe:
Danny hooked him. Wanted to do it himself, but Daryl said it was my time.

Raylan Givens:
Well, there you are, pointing that gun at something that's staring back at you, right? Longer I stood there, the less I wanted to do it. Not that I had a choice. Arlo'd tan my hide if I didn't.

Kendal Crowe:
Danny called me a pussy.

Raylan Givens:
Ain't about being a pussy, though, is it? No small thing, taking a life. Hell, my hand was shaking so bad, first shot nearly missed. Pig squealing, bucking, spraying blood. Put three more shots just to get it to lay still. I knew I should have felt good about it, but I didn't. Walked home, stepped through the front door, and threw up. That's when Arlo called me a pussy. He beat the shit out of me, too. Started thinking less about what I'd done to that pig and more - about what I'd like to do to Arlo.

Kendal Crowe:
Well, did you do it?

Raylan Givens:
Not as such. I always wondered, though, if I didn't join the Marshals just to prove something to him what a badass I was. Maybe just to spite him. He hated me being a lawman. And I knew. I knew when I joined that I might have to shoot someone in the line of duty. But first time it happened, god damn if it wasn't the same feeling sick to my stomach. Just kept asking myself if there was something I could have done different short of pulling my gun. - What was it like for you?

Kendal Crowe:
What, the gator? It's a goddamn dinosaur. Who gives a shit?