The League, Season 5

Jenny:
How is married life for you, Peter?

Pete:
It's incredibly frustrating right now. I can't meet her here, I can't meet her there.

Andre:
Sounds like you need a super-secret plan-you know, follow her into a dress shop, wait until she goes into the dressing room, then you follow behind her and you slam the door, you look at her...

Pete:
Okay, hold on a second. Andre, Andre, are you reading Danielle Steel again?

Andre:
Well, I haven't stopped. You know, I like to complete an author.

Pete:
She's got, like, 178 books!

Andre:
What's wrong about reading a book that can make you moist? [The others groan in disgust] What, I can't say "moist"?

Kevin:
No, stop it!

Andre:
"Moist" is the classy "wet."

Pete:
Stop! You know what? Let me explain to you the modern-day affair. It's about, she tells me she's going to the gym, I have to drive 50 minutes across town, through traffic, to get there. It's extremely complicated.

Jenny:
Doesn't seem that complicated for her. I don't think you are her first, Pete-she didn't break the seal of adultery on you. You're not that special.

Pete:
Um, excuse me, you don't know her. Georgia is a very nice person, she happens to be unhappy in her marriage, but she's promised me that I am the only person she's ever slept with outside of her marriage. [The others laugh hard] Oh, and why is this so funny?

Jenny:
Okay, you know what, that is the female version of, "officer, I swear to God she looked 18."

Pete:
[leaves in a huff] Enough, all right? I'm not just gonna sit here and listen to this just 'cause you guys are jealous that I'm having a great time.

Jenny:
Oh, I'm sure she's telling you the truth.

Kevin:
She's not lying to you. She's never lied to anyone except her husband, children, family, in-laws, everyone else she feels is sacred in her life.