Two and a Half Men, Season 1

Two and a Half Men (2003-present) is a TV series original centered around a hip single bachelor whose lifestyle is interrupted when his newly separated brother and his son move in. more »

Alan:
Hey, where have you been?

Charlie:
I just had lunch with my mother and my stalker. They spent the afternoon eating off each other's plates and discussing my fear of intimacy.

Alan:
You do have that, you know. Well, anyway, look, can we talk about this picture Jake drew?

Charlie:
What's to talk about? He's a boy. He saw a woman's ass. He liked it. Thank your lucky stars it wasn't the cable guy's ass and move on!

[Jake enters the kitchen]

Jake:
Hey, Dad, where's "Can-cun"?

Alan:
Cancún?

Jake:
No, it's spelled "Can-cun".

Alan:
It's in Mexico. Why?

Jake:
We should go there for Christmas instead of Aunt Betty's.

Alan:
What are you reading?

Jake:
Sports Illustrated, but it's mostly ladies in bathing suits.

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