Blackadder

[First lines]

Blackadder:
Baldrick, what are you doing out there?

Baldrick:
I'm carving something on this bullet, sir.

Blackadder:
What are you carving?

Baldrick:
I'm carving "Baldrick", sir!

Blackadder:
Why?

Baldrick:
It's part of a cunning plan, actually!

Blackadder:
Of course it is.

Baldrick:
You know how they say that somewhere there's a bullet with your name on it?

Blackadder:
[haltingly] Yyyyyyyyes...?

Baldrick:
Well, I thought that if I owned the bullet with my name on it, I'll never get hit by it! Cause I'll never shoot myself...

Blackadder:
Oh, shame!

Baldrick:
... and the chances of there being two bullet with my name are very small indeed!

Blackadder:
Yes, it's not the only thing around here that's "very small indeed". Your brain, for example. Is so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.