MythBusters

Adam:
Man, Jamie, it snowed like crazy out here last night!

Jamie:
Yeah, this is how it snows in San Francisco: in plastic bags!

Jamie:
Can we show a naked snowman on television? This is a family show.

Adam:
Maybe we'll put a fig leaf.

Adam:
[Imitating Jamie] Just remember, everyone, we're working in a really cold environment, so if your fingers start to lose feeling, make sure you go inside and get a cup of tea or something.

Jamie:
Let's count 'em down [the top 10 most popular myths] Top 40 style.

Adam:
All right, get ready for your favorite myth!

Adam:
[pours a glass of champagne] Ooh, I'm feeling lightheaded already. It's like drinking stars!

[Jamie and Adam do a blind taste test to test the fizziness of the champagne.]

Rob Lee:
Maybe it's the holiday spirit. For once - they agree!

Jamie:
Another Christmas myth up the chimney.

Adam:
I just had one of those "what the hell are we doing" moments!

[On Buster's new skin]

Jamie:
I don't like the pink color, it's a little creepy.

Adam:
Yeah, it's a little creepy, but so is what we do to Buster.

[Jamie is holding a manly thong.]

Jamie:
A lot of people watch this show. I'm sure some of them are gonna thinking about me wearing this particular piece of clothing on. Um... [chuckles] and uh... I'm gonna put it away now...

Adam:
[in a London accent] It's a lovely sculpture. It's all about man's inhumanity to man... in a pipe and rope sort of way.

Adam:
If we appear on Letterman or Leno and we bring our famous chicken cannon and shoot it off, I want someone to get on their knees and just blow me.

Peter Rees (executive producer):
[to Jamie] Why don't you ever pretend to be like Adam?

Jamie:
What? You mean stupid?

Peter Rees:
Adam... is a disaster area.

Kari:
Tory tends to clean up, Jamie is neurotic about cleaning up, and Adam is the Tasmanian Devil of filth.

Adam:
[In strange accent] Do not try what you are about to see at home. We are what you call 'experts'.

[Silence]

Jamie:
[In normal voice] And what am I supposed to say?

Adam:
[Attempting to imitate Jamie's voice, while moving Jamie's jaw by hand] That is right, we do this for a living.

[Kari is dancing and clowning around.]

Tory:
Not a lot going on upstairs; but God, she's cute!

Adam:
[In erudite British accent] Here we see the Hyneman in his natural habitat. The Hyneman prefers to live in an extremely clean environment, removing all detritus from its surroundings... at every opportunity.

[Kari is being painted silver for a myth; Adam pops in to take a look.]

Adam:
I didn't know we got slave girls.

Adam:
We've got a robot in the water, he's stuffed with tuna, and it's just another day here at MythBusters.

[Jamie is underwater in a shark cage holding Buster while he's attempting to punch sharks. The shark attacks are getting aggressive.]

Jamie:
I just had one of those "what the hell am I doing" moments, over.

Kari:
If I see a shark coming up with a beret, I'm gonna be mad at you.

Kari:
Now that he's not so scared, it's a little less evil.

Kari:
I think we need to have one of us get into the chainmail. Not me.

Adam:
Not me.

Kari:
Clearly Jamie.

Jamie:
I understanding these things [SCUBA tanks] have about a million-or actually, it's 1.3 million-pounds of explosive force. I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds like a lot.

[After being loaned some of the original floating barrel props used in the movie Jaws.]

Adam:
The only thing we're told we can't do is burn them, blow them up, or lose them.

Tory:
Has he watched the show?

Adam:
"Danger" is my middle name.

Jamie:
I'm a little worried because it worked too well, so now we'll go full scale, and it'll blow up.

Jamie:
I now pronounce this "Hyneman Mountain."

Jamie:
We're going to jump the hump.

[After an European Rapier Sword is cut by a Japanese Sword.]

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
I hope D'Artagnan ducked, because his sword was sliced.

Adam:
(pretending to be a pirate) It's time for some pillagin', it's time for some robbin', it's time to blow some stuff up.

Adam:
That's one of the most... wrongity-wrong things we've ever done.

Adam:
The Blowhard 3000-the next evolution in pirate technology!

Adam:
I just don't want any leaks. I don't like leaks.

[A large tumbleweed comes up to Adam as he's sanding down the cannonball.]

Adam:
That's not a pirate thing! That's a tumbleweed! On ya go...

Adam:
(pretending to be a pirate) What do ya mean we got no more cannonballs?!

Adam:
(pretending to be a pirate) Let's pillage!

Tory:
I don't know if that's legal in California.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
Kari's off to see an opthima-... an optha-... an eye doctor.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
Kari's got the science behind the myth covered... and if she can just find her way to the door, we'll be on our way.

[Kari fumbles briefly with the door before turning to the ophthalmologist in exasperation.]

Kari:
I can't see anything still.

Kari:
(pretending to be a pirate) Booty goes inside it!

Kari:
Don't Harm The Maiden

Grant:
Don't Harm The Maiden

Tory:
(Cuban accent) 'Chu wanna play rough? OK. Say 'ello to my little friend.

[Adam and Jamie open a box of newly arrived toy monkeys]

Adam:
There we go, oh, they're hideous!

[Jamie tests Mentos and Cola apparatus]

Jess:
Ha ha, Jamie, that's excellent! Sort of.

[A forklift lifts Buster into position]

Adam:
Arise, my son!

[After being hit by shrapnel from a pair of plastic hands]

Kari:
Do we want to talk about why I just got hit in the head with a thumb?

Grant, Tory:
Um...no.

[Describing the workings of the Rube Goldberg machine, rapid fire, in just over 1 minute and 40 seconds]

Adam:
Pay close attention, 'cause here's exactly what's going to happen. At the top of this cone are ten bottles of cola. At a prescribed moment, Jamie will yank on this string, releasing a Mento into each of those ten bottles, which will then spray cola down into this funnel, down into this tube, up to this pair of wires, which will make an electrical contact, which will release this motor... [deep breath] ...sending this bowling ball spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning down. It'll stop, but the bowling ball will keep on spinning, release itself from the screw, fall down, hit all ten Santa bowling pins, which will yank on the string, send the skiers down. The skiers going down will yank on this magnet, which will release this soda bottle, sending the party favor going bup-bup-bup-bup-bup, going like this, boop, releasing this Mento, tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick-a, all the way down into the basket, releasing this Mento, tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick-a, all the way down into this basket. This ball will go down here, toonk, toonk, doonk, release the train, whoo-hoo, all the way around, all the way around into the present - boom! The present closes, releases a Mento into this bottle of soda, sending this robot, pushing the candle under the string, the candle will burn through the string, the string will release the hammer, hammer will... [smacks hands together] ...hit the stove. The stove, which has a roast in it, will release its roast onto this seesaw, onto the dinosaur platform, jiggling this thing, releasing the, uh, two little doodads here, which will send this seesaw going this way, releasing the ball into this robot, turning him on. This robot will find his way eventually to this hand, which will - boom! - turn this switch on, sending the Jacob's ladder... [makes electrical noises] ...like Frankenstein's monster. That will set off this fuse... [makes sizzling noises] ...boom! Setting the cannon off, the cannon will release the pirate's hat, the pirate's hat will turn on the monkeys. The monkeys will go down the ramp... [out of breath] ...releasing the nut from this nutcracker's mouth - which I just did - releasing another Mento into this bottle of soda, sending this thing spinning, pulling a string out which lets this foot kick the broken crutch here, sending Buster crashing into the ground. And that's what's gonna happen.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
Happen or not, you've just witnessed the longest piece to camera in MythBusters history.