Phil Moscowitz:
But you said you loved me!

Wing Fat:
I love you in my own way.

Phil Moscowitz:
Meet me in the bedroom in five minutes and bring a cattle prod.

Shepherd Wong:
I'm dying. Call my rabbi.

Phil Moscowitz:
Saracen pig! Spartan dog! Take this! And this! Roman cow! Russian snake! Spanish fly!

Phil Moscowitz:
Uh-huh.

Wing Fat:
Don't tell me what I can do, or I'll have my mustache eat your beard.

Shepherd Wong:
That's too bad. I was going to marry her. I already put a deposit on twin cemetery plots.

Phil Moscowitz:
No bullets? Ah, but if all of you in the audience who believe in fairies will clap your hands, then my gun will be magically filled with bullets.

Phil Moscowitz:
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Suki Yaki:
I managed to find this dress in there, but no underwear.

Phil Moscowitz:
No underwear? I find that very interesting.

Suki Yaki:
Don't excite yourself. I never sleep with a man who owns a dress.

Phil Moscowitz:
Oh, neither do I. I feel exactly the same way.

Phil Moscowitz:
He lives in that piece of paper?

Phil Moscowitz:
Nothing much to report... oh, somebody tried to shoot me during the credits.

Wing Fat:
This is my mother. We're very close. Isn't she sweet? And the best thing about her is: she can really take a punch.

Suki Yaki:
So, who did help me escape?

Phil Moscowitz:
Don't you have any idea?

Suki Yaki:
I had an idea that it was the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, but there's no motive...

Shepherd Wong:
I didn't order any fumigation! It's Wing Fool, you fat! I mean... it's Wing Fat, you fool!

Shepherd Wong:
You interupt Shepherd Wong? That's the thing to do?

Shepherd Wong:
You want egg salad, I'll give you egg salad! Did you bring the mayonnaise?

Suki Yaki:
Mayonnaise?

Shepherd Wong:
I told you to take a jar!

Suki Yaki:
Boy is he weird.

Shepherd Wong:
Oh, nevermind. If there's none on board, forget it. We'll use Miracle Whip. Heee-yee-hee-hee-ha-ha!