Paper Mask

Alec Moran:
[wheeling a corpse on a gurney] Do you believe in the afterbirth?

Matthew Harris:
*Afterlife*, Alec.

Alec Moran:
Life, yeah. [Looking at corpse] Imagine coming back looking like that, eh?

Alec Moran:
[discovering a medical skeleton in Matthew's bed] I don't know what you see in these skinny women.

Schoolboy:
[discovers Matthew taking notes of Dr. Hennessey's class photos hanging in school hall] What are you doing?

Matthew Harris:
I used to be a pupil here.

Schoolboy:
I don't believe you. I could report you, you know!

Matthew Harris:
I could probably break your neck.

Schoolboy:
[pauses briefly] Yes, I expect you could. Why are you writing that down?

Matthew Harris:
Old time's sake.

Schoolboy:
The past is another country.

Matthew Harris:
Who said that?

Schoolboy:
I said it. I made it up, actually. [Matthew smiles] What's funny?

Matthew Harris:
Why did you think I wasn't a pupil here?

Schoolboy:
Well... your clothes are rather cheap.

Dr. Thorn:
[testing Matthew's ability to diagnose an elderly male patient lying in hospital bed] Feel his pulse.

Matthew Harris:
[hung-over and very nervous] It's irregular.

Dr. Thorn:
So?

Matthew Harris:
Atrial fibrillation.

Dr. Thorn:
Listen to his chest.

Matthew Harris:
[placing stethoscope on patient's back] Please sit forward. Breathe in please. And out. And in, and out, and in, and out.

[to Dr. Thorn]

Matthew Harris:
Basal crepitations.

Dr. Thorn:
Feel his liver. Well?

Matthew Harris:
It's normal.

[Patient smiles in surprise]

Dr. Thorn:
What do you mean, "normal"? If you can feel it, it isn't normal! So what is it?

Matthew Harris:
Abnormal?

Dr. Thorn:
Enlarged! Smooth, enlarged, non-pulsatile. Diagnosis?

Matthew Harris:
Hepatitis?

[Dr. Thorn rolls his eyes]

Matthew Harris:
No?

[Catches sight of liquor bottle hidden under patient's bedsheet]

Matthew Harris:
Cirrhosis!

Dr. Thorn:
Of course. Classic: wasting, spider naevi, jaundice, varices. You been drinking?

Yellow Man:
[Thinking Dr. Thorn is addressing him] I'm a dead man anyway!