New Girl2011

Nick Miller:
Jess has absolutely lost her mind.

Jess:
I have not lost my mind! I'm just scared.

Nick Miller:
Would you trust me? You're gonna be fine. You're gonna meet somebody and fall in love and then before you know it you're gonna [makes popping sounds]

Jess:
With who, Nick? Who's gonna lay a flag down on this sweet, sweet continent?

Schmidt:
I'll man up. But I must warn you, Jess - I don't have sperms. I have tadpoles. Of the gods. And I'm gonna give 'em to you. You can have 'em all for all I care. That's how much I love you. I feel your pain in this situation. I want you to have babies. Take my sperms.

Winston Bishop:
No. It should be me, Jess.

Jess:
[baffled] What?

Winston Bishop:
With your big, beautiful blue eyes and my Blair Underwood-like skin, we'd have the most beautiful baby the world has ever seen.

Schmidt:
He's not wrong. It could get into any school it wants.

Jess:
To be clear, I haven't asked any of you to impregnate me. I think it's important that's been said.

Nick Miller:
Good. 'Cause it's definitely not me.

Jess:
Cause it's definitely not you.

Nick Miller:
I would love that little baby with all my heart. Even if I did show it by picking him up from school in my underwear and hitting on the crossing guard.