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Eugene Morris Jerome: Hey, what if she's ugly. I mean, really ugly. Selridge: Then you close your eyes and you think of some cheerleader. Eugene Morris Jerome: I don't want to close my eyes, that's the same as doing it to yourself. Selridge: Not if you're feeling someone underneath you, or on top of you. Eugene Morris Jerome: On top of me? Who would be on top of me? Selridge: She would. She could be anywhere. Under a table, on a chair, or an ironing board. Eugene Morris Jerome: On an ironing board? What kind of girl is this? I thought we were going to a regular place. Selridge: Don't you know anything? Eugene Morris Jerome: Maybe not in actual experience, but I have all the information I need. Selridge: You don't know shit, Jerome. Do you know how many positions there are? Eugene Morris Jerome: American or worldwide? Carney: (laughs) This guy is a riot. Selridge: For five bucks, how many positions are there? Eugene Morris Jerome: Let me think. Selridge: Do you want me to tell you? Eugene Morris Jerome: No. Selridge: I'm gonna tell you. There are seventeen acceptable positions. Eugene Morris Jerome: Acceptable? What is there, an Olympic committee that votes on positions. Carney: I can't believe this guy is from New York. Eugene Morris Jerome: Besides, you're wrong. There's fifty-two positions. Selridge: Fifty-two? You're crazy. Where did you ever get that from? Eugene Morris Jerome: I saw a dirty deck of cards once. Selridge: This jerk is worse than Epstein. Eugene Morris Jerome: You owe me five bucks. Selridge: Hey, listen, twerp. You're lucky if you do one position. Eugene Morris Jerome: I'm not doing anything if it's on an ironing board. Carney: Why not? You'll get your shirt pressed for free.

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