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David Michael Letterman (born April 12, 1947) is an American late-night talk show host and comedian and the host of Late Show with David Letterman on CBS since 1993. Letterman's ironic, often absurd comedy is heavily influenced by former Tonight Show hosts Steve Allen, Johnny Carson and Jack Paar. Letterman has been a fixture of United States late night television since his 1982 debut on Late Night with David Letterman; only Johnny Carson, one of Letterman's idols, has had a longer late-night hosting career

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Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. – David LettermanRate it:
Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. – David LettermanRate it:
Anything worth doing is worth overdoing – David LettermanRate it:
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees. – David LettermanRate it:
Fine art and pizza delivery, what we do falls neatly in between! – David LettermanRate it:
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious. – David LettermanRate it:
In Hollywood, Oscar is king – David LettermanRate it:
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move. – David LettermanRate it:
There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. – David LettermanRate it:
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. – David LettermanRate it:
USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 of the population. – David LettermanRate it:
wouldn't give your troubles to a monkey on a rock. – David LettermanRate it:

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

– David LettermanRate it:

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

– David LettermanRate it:

Anything worth doing is worth overdoing

– David LettermanRate it:

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

– David LettermanRate it:

Fine art and pizza delivery, what we do falls neatly in between!

– David LettermanRate it:

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

– David LettermanRate it:

In Hollywood, Oscar is king

– David LettermanRate it:

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

– David LettermanRate it:

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

– David LettermanRate it:

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

– David LettermanRate it:

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 of the population.

– David LettermanRate it:

wouldn't give your troubles to a monkey on a rock.

– David LettermanRate it:

Additional quotes from the news wire...

I really had great admiration for the fact that she was able to just walk into that room and decimate the place. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 4 months ago Entertainment
I’ve kind of developed a real creepy look with it that I ’m sort of enjoying, i can tell that people are off-put by it. And the more people implore me to shave, the stronger my resolve is to not shave. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 8 months ago Latest Headlines
I ’m very frustrated, because at my age, and I have a young son, I would like to have something tangible to at least think about that offset all of the pessimism that is built up in me on the topic of climate change. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 8 months ago Latest Headlines
It just seemed like, OK, well, here’s somebody who had an intimate relationship with somebody he shouldn’t have had an intimate relationship with. And I always said, ‘Well, who hasn’t?’ to myself. But then, when I was able to see from the epicenter, the ripples, I thought, yeah, they could have fired me. But they didn’t. So I owe them that. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 10 months ago Latest Headlines
The beard is a good reminder to me that that was a different life, i’m hopeful that I will either find something else, or something else will be presented to me. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 1 year ago Entertainment
I don’t miss late-night television, and I’m a little embarrassed that, for 33 years, it was the laser focus of my life. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 1 year ago Entertainment
Nobody took The Donald seriously, and people loved The Donald when The Donald would come on the show, i would make fun of The Donald hair, I would call The Donald a slumlord, I would make fun of The Donald ties. And The Donald could just take a punch like nothing. The Donald was The Donald. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 1 year ago Entertainment
I was flattered. I was pleased. I felt like I still have a small voice in this. I thought it was good. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 1 year ago Entertainment
But Letterman’s view of The Donald has since shifted dramatically. I can remember David Letterman doing an impression, behind a podium, of a reporter for The New York Times who has a congenital disorder. And then I thought, if this was somebody else — if this was a member of your family or a next-door neighbor, a guy at work — you would immediately distance yourself from that person. And that’s what I thought would happen. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 1 year ago Entertainment
I used to say, every day, ‘I am so sick and tired of shaving.’ … And I just thought, the first thing I will do when I am not on TV is stop shaving. And everybody hates it. My wife hates it. My son hates it. But it’s interesting. I’ve kind of developed a real creepy look with it that I’m sort of enjoying. And I can tell that people are off-put by it. And the more people implore me to shave, the stronger my resolve is to not shave. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 2 years ago Entertainment
I’m like the idiots who always used to come up to me—and I knew they were lying…. They’d say, ‘Yeah, well, geez I can’t stay up late enough to watch your show,’ and I’d think, you’re lying, you’re just lying. But I’m like that guy now. I can’t stay up late enough to watch TV. I like to be in bed right around 10. Anything that happens after 10, I’m not there. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 2 years ago Entertainment
I have made the biggest mistake of my life, ladies and gentlemen. – David Letterman	Found on CNN 3 years ago Top News
I would never, never make jokes about raping or having sex of any description with a 14-year-old girl, i would never, never think that it was funny to use a 14-year-old girl as a joke like this, for God's sake. – David Letterman	Found on CNN 3 years ago Politics
When you call up at the last minute and cancel a show, ladies and gentlemen that's starting to smell. This is not the John McCain I know, this is not the way a tested hero behaves. – David Letterman	Found on CNN 3 years ago Politics
We've lost 5,000 fellow New Yorkers, and you can feel it. You can feel it, you can see it, rudolph Giuliani is the personification of courage. – David Letterman	Found on CNN 3 years ago Politics
Why exactly are you here? Honest to God, i've been wanting to be on your show in the worst way for the longest time. – David Letterman	Found on CNN 3 years ago Politics
I like it, it's clever. 9-9-9. It's fun, you ought to get some sort of toll-free number. You dial 9-9-9, you get a free pizza. – David Letterman	Found on CNN 3 years ago Politics
To me the fun of it would've just been boring people silly: 'Here we have a medium-shag burnt orange. ... Here we have the avocado.' I would have done that -- I would do that, if you can get me that carpet-sample book, I'll do that Monday. – David Letterman	Found on CNN 3 years ago Top News
In reality he was just himself -- a genuine, modest and nice man. – David Letterman	Found on CNN 3 years ago Entertainment
To me the fun of it would've just been boring people silly: Here we have a medium-shag burnt orange ... Here we have the avocado. I would have done that -- I would do that, if you can get me that carpet-sample book, I'll do that Monday. – David Letterman	Found on CNN 3 years ago Entertainment
We're told that (the terrorists) were zealots fueled by religious fervor, and if you live to be a thousand years old, will that make any sense to you. Will that make any goddamn sense. – David Letterman	Found on CNN 3 years ago Entertainment
I'm awash in melancholia, i'll miss it, desperately. One of two things: There will be reasonable, adult acceptance of transition. Or I will turn to a life of crime. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 3 years ago Entertainment
I'll miss it, desperately. One of two things: There will be reasonable, adult acceptance of transition. Or I will turn to a life of crime. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 3 years ago Entertainment
New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani told Deadline. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 3 years ago Entertainment
I have to treat you now with renewed respect, that's a tremendous story. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 3 years ago Entertainment
We were in some helicopters. What we didn’t know was, we were north of the invasion. We were the northernmost Americans in Iraq, we were going to drop some bridge portions across the Euphrates so the Third Infantry could cross on them. Two of the four helicopters were hit, by ground fire, including the one I was in, RPG and AK-47. – David Letterman	Found on FOX News 3 years ago Latest Headlines
His show was unlike any other late night show, and I'm telling you, to be unique in the world of television -- virtually impossible. – David Letterman	Found on CNN 3 years ago Entertainment

I really had great admiration for the fact that she was able to just walk into that room and decimate the place.

– David Letterman

Found on FOX News
4 months ago

Entertainment

I’ve kind of developed a real creepy look with it that I ’m sort of enjoying, i can tell that people are off-put by it. And the more people implore me to shave, the stronger my resolve is to not shave.

– David Letterman

Found on FOX News
8 months ago

Latest Headlines

I ’m very frustrated, because at my age, and I have a young son, I would like to have something tangible to at least think about that offset all of the pessimism that is built up in me on the topic of climate change.

– David Letterman

Found on FOX News
8 months ago

Latest Headlines