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Fabrice

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Rumour has it that, after his election, Trump declared: "Yesterday, we were on the edge of the abyss but today, we have taken a big step forward!"

– Fabrice

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I speak to myself because I often need an expert advice!

– Fabrice

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Trump: "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd poison your tea!" Clinton: "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd drink it!"

– Fabrice

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Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

– Fabrice

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He's so optimistic that he would buy a burial suit with a change of pants!

– Fabrice

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I was quite relieved when my wife got her credit card stolen...; the thief was spending less!

– Fabrice

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30% of fatal road accidents are due to alcohol; therefore 70% are due to people who don't drink!...

– Fabrice

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My wife and I have been happy for twenty years....Then we met!

– Fabrice

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half the politicians are good-for-nothing; the others are ready to anything...

– Fabrice

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I would readily admit that women are superior to us if it could deter them from pretending to be our equals!

– Fabrice

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Marriage is like restaurant; hardly have you been served that you're looking at the neighbour's plate!

– Fabrice

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Policy is not that complicated! One only needs a clear conscience and therefore, a bad memory...

– Fabrice

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Water...That fishy liquid that makes Pastis cloudy!

– Fabrice

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When assholes will be put into orbit, you're not even close to stopping revolving! (Michel Audiart)

– Fabrice

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An egoist is someone who doesn't think about me...

– Fabrice

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Experience is that marvellous thing that allows you to recognize a mistake when you've already made it many times!

– Fabrice

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For fifteen thousand dollars, the psychiatrist has relieved me of what I had: fifteen thousand dollars...

– Fabrice

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If the government created a bullshit tax, it would be immediately self-sufficient!

– Fabrice

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In my life I've been an altar boy, a republican militant and a bar manager; that just shows you that I heard bullshit!

– Fabrice

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Never judge people based on their company. Take Judas, for example; he had irreprochable friends!

– Fabrice

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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if it wasn't the case, they would have married too

– Fabrice

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God once said :"You have to share: the rich will have the food and the poor will have... appetite".

– Fabrice

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I dont't like to be at home; to such an extent that when someone tells me "make yourself at home!", I go back home...

– Fabrice

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I prefer a good beer which makes me piss to a woman who pisses me off !

– Fabrice

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I'm a civil servant and my wife doesn't work either!...

– Fabrice

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Mozart was so precocious that, at the age of 35, he was already dead!

– Fabrice

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Once resuscitated, Christ first appeared to women for the news to spread faster!

– Fabrice

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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can usually see better than he can think! (unknown)

– Fabrice

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The civi service is a place where, in the stairs, those who arrive late bump into those who leave early!

– Fabrice

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The unluckiest man in the world was Youri Gagarin: he left from Russia, revolved seventeen times around the word to fall in Russia again!...

– Fabrice

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To be thought to be a moron to the eyes of an idiot is a gourmet's sensual delight!

– Fabrice

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Water may become increasingly scarce and precious...; that's why I drink beer!

– Fabrice

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Pupils had to create a rhyme for today's lesson. When it's his turn, Gilbert goes: "I was in the pond behind the hillocks and I had water up to my knees!" Teacher:"Interesting Gilbert, but that doesn't rhyme!" Gilbert:"I know it doesn't and I'm sorry Mrs Walter, but it's not my fault if there wasn't enough water!"

– Fabrice

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A Scottish, mopping his brow with his kilt was accused of indecent exposure!

– Fabrice

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Artichoke is a real dish for the poor..; it's the only one that, when you have finished eating, you have more in your plate than when you started. (Michel Colucci known as Coluche)

– Fabrice

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I'm neither for nor against, on the contrary!

– Fabrice

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If voting would change anything, it would be forbidden for a long time!

– Fabrice

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It's always the same authors who are quoted; it's not surprising that they are famous!...

– Fabrice

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Studies are freaking expensive! And yet I was careful... I was one of those who studied the less! (Miche colucci known as Coluche)

– Fabrice

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Technocrats are guys whom, when you ask them a question and when they have finished answering, you don't understand the question you asked any more! (Michel Colucci known as Coluche)

– Fabrice

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Wedding, trust is not there; witnesses are needed as in accidents.

– Fabrice

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In 1492 native Americans discovered Columbus lost at sea!...

– Fabrice

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My computer displayed the surprising and at least disconcerting following message: "Error. No keyboard. Press F1 to continue!"

– Fabrice

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I stopped fighting my inner demons; we're on the same side now!

– Fabrice

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Asked about his beautiful gold pocket watch, Woody Allen said :"I'm very attached to it, my grandfather sold it to me on his deathbed!"

– Fabrice

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A Belgian motorist was complaining that his turn signal had been defective and was going :"once it worked!, once it didn't work!, once it worked!, once it didn't work!, once it...."

– Fabrice

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A friend is someone who knows you well and nevertheless, still loves you!...

– Fabrice

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Not a single opinion poll this week! Never mind! We'll try to guess our own intentions by ourselves...

– Fabrice

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Fabrice

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