Quotes from the news wire:
If anyone in this theater commits an act of violence at any point during this show you will be awarded the Oscar for best actor and permitted to give a 19-minute-long speech.
Found on CNN 11 months ago
While our leaders on the right — the Americans in Congress and at Fox News and these other outlets — warn us not to politicize this. They immediately criticize our President for even speaking about doing something to stop it, because they don't want to speak about it. Because they know what they've done and they know what they haven't done, and they know that it's indefensible. So they'd rather sweep this under the rug.
After you won the game, do you remember what I did? I said ‘good game, thanks’ and I shook your disgusting hand, i didn’t complain that it was rigged, I didn’t ask for a recount on the referee, I didn’t start a conspiracy theory about the basketball having a microchip in it. I brought shame on my family and I embraced it as I always do.
I worry about you. I feel like you are maybe self-destructive, i feel like you're going to be out dressed as Spider-Man on Hollywood Boulevard at the end of this whole thing.
Found on CNN 2 years ago
This was not the sort of thing I ever imagined would happen in this country in my lifetime, the President of the United States, because Donald Trump is too angry, too insecure and too incompetent to deal with the fact that Donald Trump lost an election — a fair election, an election that was no different than any other election, an election Donald Trump lost by seven million votes, and 70 electors — turns an angry mob against members of Congress and his own vice president.
This is a very strange time in a America, our President is building walls and telling people to go back where they came from. With all that happening it's important to remember that many people still dream of becoming Americans. Every week immigrants from all around the world take the oath of citizenship.
My hope, always, in situations like that, is... I know I don't have any thoughts that are new or groundbreaking and usually by the time we get on the air there's been 24 to 48 hours of news coverage, but to just remind people that 97 % of Americans believe that we should have background checks for purchases at gun shows and our politicians don't seem to care what we think anymore.
Donald Trump showed up one night outside our show banging on the backstage door. It was 2007, Donald Trump had a half-finished bucket of chicken under Donald Trump arm, donald Trump was screaming that Donald Trump needed to use the bathroom, but unfortunately, there was someone in the bathroom. I believe it wasZach Braffwho was in the bathroom. So Donald Trump took a look around, Donald Trump stuffed the remainder chicken in Donald Trump jacket, Donald Trump dropped Donald Trump pants … Donald Trump did Donald Trump business in the bucket.
You know, it’s a funny thing. We all know, like even the people who like the president know he makes things up, but still, it’s weird to hear him tell a lie that’s specifically involves you, for the record, not only was I not on the sidewalk waiting for him, opening the door to his car, I did n’t even go to his dressing room to sell hello before the show. I never do. In 15 years, I probably, I do n’t know, I’ve done it like seven times.
My mother, unbeknownst to me, spent the weekend making Oscar cookies, and she put glitter [ on them ], I don’t know if it was edible or what. Cookies which she then packed in disposable Tupperware boxes and brought to the show. But Kimmel's mother didn't stop there. The concerned mother proceeded to make sure all the Oscars attendees got their fill of sugar and offered her cookies the stars during the show.
You know, a lot of people have been thanked tonight. Producers, directors, Mexico got a thanks. And deservedly so. Many of you would not be here without the people you're thanking, but there's another group that deserves our thanks even more, because without them, none of us would be here, so I want to take a moment to thank the people who actually go to see the movies you make.
I didn’t realize I was on camera – but then my phone started just buzzing with text after text and I was like ‘Oh, I think I might have been on camera,’ fergie even apologized for her performance. She said she tried her best and the reasons she decided to sing the song that way because she is a ‘risk taker.’.
More than 40 percent of those impacted by the cuts would be children, if your baby is going to die -- and it doesn't have to -- it shouldn't matter how much money you make. I hope you never have to go there but if you do you’ll see so many kids from so many financial backgrounds being cared for so well with so much compassion.
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