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My Broken Pieces A few weeks back, a longtime friend asked if I would meet her for lunch to discuss a new job offer. We sat in the restaurant for forty-five minutes discussing her new job opportunity when her face grew solemn. She sighed, staring down into her plate. I asked, “is everything all right,” knowing she did not ask me to meet to discuss a job offer. She said, “everything is fine, but I cannot get your story or quote about the broken pieces out of my mind.” She took a deep breath raised her head and, in half whisper, said, “it really described the broken pieces in my marriage? I answered, “when promises, borders and commitment are broken, and especially betrayal, the relationship may be repaired but never return to what it once was or could have been.” Before she left, she thanked me for giving her a copy. I refer to the story, as “The Broken Vase.” The Broken Vase Love and marriage are often broken by betrayal, lies and unkept promises. Betrayal is the ultimate form of deceit and deception. It reminded me of something I wrote many years ago about a vase that was knocked off the shelf and broken into many pieces. For a moment you’re not sure what to do but then you decide to try and repair it. Imagine trying to pick up the pieces of your life, left behind in the wake of betrayal. You must be methodical and cautious because your path is covered with egg shells. You realize it may not be the same as it once was, but would vase be good enough to keep. After all, you’ve had it for thirty years. When you believe all the pieces have been collected and placed on the table, you do one last search for the smallest pieces you may have missed. You find two small pieces, place them on the table and stare down at the broken pieces of something you cherished and was beautiful. Something so precious you often proudly displayed it to friends Over a period of three weeks, you managed to glue the vase back together. You slowly turn it around on the table and realize it is an archaic reproduction of its original form. There are holes in it created by pieces you did not find and never will. Like the pieces missing from your relationship. Held together by history and commitment but still broken. And severely damaged. The vase will never hold flowers again because it cannot hold water. And like your relationship, it has become fragile as you watch a piece fall off the vase when you lifted off the table. And when you think about the broken pieces collected from your relationship, you know that will also never be the same. As you held up the beautiful vase to show people it’s beauty, that now is simply a collection of glued pieces that resembles your relationship. You can no longer showcase your marriage. Only because of its history you place the vase back on the self, but it seems out of place and detracts from the ambience around it. After a few weeks you take the vase to your home office and place it on a shelf. A few weeks later, you sadly change the location to the closet. And like your relationship it has been moved to a different place. A dark place. When people say to you, you and your wife seem to get along very well. You think about showing them the vase. All that remains of the relationship is held together by glue. After several years you are still seeking out the missing pieces from your heart knowing deep inside you will never find. There’s only one way to get them back and that is to leave. But leaving will also mean breaking more pieces. Those are your two choices. If you leave, you will get back some of the pieces you lost but you would lose others by virtue of leaving. RJ Intindola – 2001
Leaders typically don’t follow the crowd, that is unless they’re trying to escape a burning building. RJ Intindola – 1995
Fate is not going to come looking for you. You’re going to have to find it or created yourself. RJ Intindola – 2000
When beset with doubt in troubled times, and those about you will understand if you come unglued, stay the ground and face the challenge. Fore when you stand alone to confront life's highest mountains, the next shall be easier to climb. R. J. Intindola – 1972
If you love freedom, then you’re going to have to pay for it. Not only by paying taxes but by making the commitment to live by the principles that is essential for freedom to survive. That includes respecting the rule of law and if you have set that aside for political reasons, then you are a threat to our democracy and our freedoms. RJ Intindola – 2018
If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you feel pain, I’ll be your aspirin. If you are unhappy, I'll be your smile. If you are ill, I’ll be your prescription. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me. RJ Intindola – 1972
Quit telling us to forget the past and never look back. We learned from the past, gained wisdom from the past that we apply every day in the process of living. If we forget the past, we’ll forget who we are since that’s where we came from. RJ Intindola – 1990
Some friends are more significant and important than other friends. A special friend can often change your life for the better. You will know when this special person enters your life because of the respect you have for them. They will never lie or set you aside for someone or something else. You will have undying trust in this person that any words spoken will never find another ear. They always returned calls at the earliest possible time. They will check in often to see what’s going on in your life and just talk. Your accomplishments will be applauded with praise and losses will never be repeated. This friend has you melted within their heart as you do theirs. When you find such a person be sure to return the love and understand they have gifted you and your life. RJ Intindola – 1983
We’ve all had that feeling after final exams were completed, and we whispered to ourselves, “thank God it’s over.” It’s not over as you will learn in life you must keep moving forward to succeed. And if you don’t, guess what; it’s over. RJ Intindola – 1990
What I’ve learned is not to pay much attention to those that say, “Money will not make you happy.” To them, I answer, it’s certainly a good place to start. And not having it can make you sad. RJ Intindola -- 1985
When someone has broken the trust you bestowed in them, their likely to do it again. Be wary before speaking in front of them on any matter you don’t want to be repeated. RJ Intindola – 2000
Your legacy among family and friends shall resemble a blank page while you remain silent when others threaten our constitutional values.
Moments when you realize your heart is empty and the one who could fill it, never will. RJ Intindola – 2014
The only reason that evil exist is to challenge the good among us to defeated it. RJ Intindola – 1983
True friendship is like the sun that you can't always see in the darkness of night, but you know will return to brighten your day. RJ Intindola-1987
We tend to remember our mistakes more than other actions because they leave us feeling uncomfortable. And because we don’t like feeling that way, we are less likely to repeat our mistakes. The same can also be said for taking chances and putting aside our fears. RJ Intindola – 1992
When I hear a certain song playing in the background, I think of you and a vision of your face, pervades my soul. When the second song plays, your sweet fragrance fills the air around me. The third song and her gentle hand caressing my face tingles my body covered with goosebumps. At the fourth song, I gently glide to the radio and turn it off. There’s no sense roaming in the darkened marred past. - RJ Intindola – 2009
When today is no different than yesterday and you haven’t taken any action to improve your tomorrow, then all your days continue to be yesterdays - RJ Intindola – 1979
When you continually must question the love you have, you need to start looking for the love you want. RJ Intindola – 1994
Do not humiliate, disrespect and speak with a soft tongue when holding your ground. To be loud, rude and obnoxious will negate the argument and advantage. And truth is always mandatory. RJ Intindola – 1990
Everybody loves and desires success, but they dislike and are envious of successful people. RJ Intindola-1985 *
I must admit that I am always perplexed when reading quotes and other writings that true love should be unconditional. Well, how about betrayal? Shouldn’t that be a condition? It is for me and should be for you. RJ Intindola – 1997
If your character is strong, you’ll find a way to succeed and if it’s week, you’ll find an excuse to fail. RJ Intindola – 1970
In sports, it is easier to win a championship than to remain a champion in subsequent seasons. And the same is true in life. Once you reach the top, it is more difficult to stay on top. Because, when you become the best in sports, and in life, everyone expects more from you and they want to take you down. RJ Intindola – 1999
There are two types of scars; those that are visible and those that are not. Both indicate that you been hurt but only the external scars will show if you been healed. No one can see the scars inside us or if our injury still lingers. RJ Intindola – 1983
When I felt cornered in my life and wrought with crisis and turmoil, I wondered why friends stayed silent. RJ Intindola – 1983
When in love, the heart will deflect any sense of reasoning offered by the brain. RJ Intindola – 1984 *
Before deciding on a decision, determine how well you are willing to live with it. RJ Intindola – 1970
Each time our heart is broken, we should learn a lesson and not repeat the same mistakes. However, often there is nothing we could have done to save the relationship.
I’ve created a new morality. Not one based on societal values and mores but instead on my own conscience. We should not let others determine our moral values nor accept their ridicule. Full stop. RJ Intindola – 1995
People that are hiding something deep within themselves, will live a life cloaked in total anxiety. - RJ Intindola – 1982
People who create change, change the future for others. Therefore, if you remain idle, the future will control how you change. RJ Intindola – 1983
Progress does not come from following the norms, but instead by breaking them. What is normal remains the same and therefore we must depart from the past. RJ Intindola – 1992
She was daydreaming out the kitchen window into the backyard. And wondered what it would feel like being naked on the swing. That night, with everyone in bed, she removed her nightgown and walked across the backyard to the swing. She felt exhilaration because she wasn’t supposed to be there.
Sometimes our heart goes rogue and makes decisions without even telling us or letting us know in advance. RJ Intindola – 1987
When you succeed everybody wants to party with you. When you fail, just buy a bottle of scotch to take home. RJ Intindola – 2000
Your morality is determined by your conscience and mine is determined by my conscience. RJ Intindola – 1987
Be careful not to fall in love with the fantasy you imagined instead of what’s standing before you. RJ Intindola – 1986
Every so often deliberately participate in inappropriate behavior, but don’t tell anyone. In this way, your public persona shall remain intact. RJ Intindola – 1980
Fate controls who walks into your life, but you decide who leaves, stays, and who you refuse to let go. Who stays depends on the bindings between you. R.J. Intindola-1970
He who wears the emotional and physical scars of life should do so with honor and integrity. RJ Intindola – 1973
How many times have we encountered a person that states, “can I ask a question,” and proceeds to ask the question before you can respond. In these cases, they’ve given us a choice and then take it away. What they’re really doing here, is making a statement and not asking you to decide. RJ Intindola – 1979 (from what I’ve learned)
If someone makes a mistake and you still want them in your life, then forgive them. RJ Intindola – 1970
If you ask for advice, listen, instead of interrupting and debating why it’s wrong. R.J. Intindola—1974
If you think it can’t be done, please don’t interfere or interrupt the rest of us trying to do it. RJ Intindola – 1972
If you’re the problem, then moving to a new town to start a new life is not going to work. RJ Intindola – 1998
Intuition is like a compass that guides your decision-making process when answers are not readily available.
Love is often described as a fruit you can just reach out with your hand and pluck. However, one should beware, that although glowing in color, the fruit is often tainted or rotten. RJ Intindola-- 1986
Never and Always Never take advantage of someone who loves you Never avoid someone who needs you Never betray anyone who has trust in you Never forget the people that always remember you Never speak ill of a person who is not present Never support something you know is wrong or unethical Always speak to your parents on their birthday and anniversary Always defend those who cannot defend themselves Always forgive those you love who have made mistakes Always give something to those less fortunate than you Always remember to look back at those who helped you succeed Always call your parents and siblings on New Year’s Eve. R.J. Intindola- 1985
No one lives out the words they preach or the advice they offer. This does not mean they don’t believe in the words they’ve written or spoken but instead are subject to life’s necessary standard deviations. - RJ Intindola – 2001
People would lie less if they could only remember how difficult it is to live with the lie. There is one exception – narcissistic people live in a lie and therefore have no conscious of guilt regarding the consequences of their dishonest demeanor. RJ Intindola – 1996
Relationships sometimes break like a falling vase into fifty pieces. And when you glue the vase back together, you realize it has lost the luster and pristine appearance that will never return. Now you have two choices. Keep it as it is or throw it away.
Some doors slammed in your face need to be glued and nailed shut so they can never be reopened. RJ Intindola – 1983
Some people settle for what they’re given instead of working hard for what they want. RJ Intindola – 1987
Sometimes defining friendship can be simple. If your heart still aches after someone has passed, then you were a true friend. They may have physically left this world, but they still walk among us in our hearts. RJ Intindola – 2018
The past is behind you and there is nothing you can do to change it. However, you are in total control of your future. RJ Intindola – 1980
The silence of many is deafening. Especially when our country is under attack by those who challenge the moral values of our Constitution. RJ Intindola – 2018
There are seven things you can never get back. 1. Words after they have been spoken. 2. A stone after it has been thrown. 3. A moment or occasion after it has passed. 4. A person after they have passed. 5. Time once it has passed. 6. Betrayal after it has transpired. 7. A lie after it has been spoken.
This expression was created and expanded over numerous years. And possibly it will continue to be expanded. You will notice that the Internet has altered how the expression is written. I Wrote the first two lines in 1974. There are two experiences that you can never get back. First, words after they had been uttered. And second, a stone after it has been thrown. 1974 I added a third experience in 1980 after personal dramatic circumstances in my life. As a result, the expression was changed as written below. There are three experiences that you can never get back. One, words after they have been spoken. Two, a stone after it has been thrown. Three, a moment or after it has passed In January 1984, my father died, and I added a fourth item. which was stated in a different manner to my brother. Later that same year, I added a fifth experience, related to my brother who had cancer. Remember to spend time with those you love. There are five experiences that you can never get back. One, words after they have been spoken. Two, a stone after it has been thrown. Three, a moment or occasion after it has passed. Four, a person after they have passed. Five, time once it has passed. The final two experiences were added twelve years later in 1996. They are rarely included in the various depictions I have seen on the Internet. The only logic I can conclude for their lack of inclusion, is that I stopped posting to inspirational and poetic websites for several years.. Thus, the final or I should say current construction is noted below. There are seven things you can never get back. 1. Words after they have been spoken. 2. A stone after it has been thrown. 3. A moment or occasion after it has passed. 4. A person after they have passed. 5. Time once it has passed. 6. Betrayal after it has transpired. 7. A lie after it has been spoken. RJ Intindola ―
We gain knowledge by going through life, education, reading and other learning techniques. And with this knowledge we are now able to imagine. RJ Intindola – 1996
When a friend is going through a difficult stormy time in their life, try to be the rainbow that makes them smile.
When someone is not present to defend themselves don’t participate in a smearing campaign because you give credence to their cowardly actions. RJ Intindola – 1985
When you have a choice between quantity or quality, always choose quality; except when it comes to money. RJ Intindola – 1977
You can always tell the character of a person, by what they say about others who are not present. RJ Intindola – 1982
You may continue to stay together after betrayal, and the scar may heal and condense, but will never totally disappeared. RJ Intindola – 1981
Beauty is seen through the eyes, but beautiful people are only known through your heart. RJ Intindola – 1979
Don’t wait until regrets are your only option, make the changes and act before it’s too late. RJ Intindola – 2000
For the most part, people live their normal lives. Except when at parties, in a group or away from home, then a different person emerges. RJ Intindola – 2009
No one has gone through life without acquiring scars and bruises. Some wounds are hidden inside us and only we can feel. They are badges of our day-to-day struggle to learn and survive. RJ Intindola – 1981
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