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My Broken Pieces A few weeks back, a longtime friend asked if I would meet her for lunch to discuss a new job offer. We sat in the restaurant for forty-five minutes discussing her new job opportunity when her face grew solemn. She sighed, staring down into her plate. I asked, “is everything all right,” knowing she did not ask me to meet to discuss a job offer. She said, “everything is fine, but I cannot get your story or quote about the broken pieces out of my mind.” She took a deep breath raised her head and, in half whisper, said, “it really described the broken pieces in my marriage? I answered, “when promises, borders and commitment are broken, and especially betrayal, the relationship may be repaired but never return to what it once was or could have been.” Before she left, she thanked me for giving her a copy. I refer to the story, as “The Broken Vase.” The Broken Vase Love and marriage are often broken by betrayal, lies and unkept promises. Betrayal is the ultimate form of deceit and deception. It reminded me of something I wrote many years ago about a vase that was knocked off the shelf and broken into many pieces. For a moment you’re not sure what to do but then you decide to try and repair it. Imagine trying to pick up the pieces of your life, left behind in the wake of betrayal. You must be methodical and cautious because your path is covered with egg shells. You realize it may not be the same as it once was, but would vase be good enough to keep. After all, you’ve had it for thirty years. When you believe all the pieces have been collected and placed on the table, you do one last search for the smallest pieces you may have missed. You find two small pieces, place them on the table and stare down at the broken pieces of something you cherished and was beautiful. Something so precious you often proudly displayed it to friends Over a period of three weeks, you managed to glue the vase back together. You slowly turn it around on the table and realize it is an archaic reproduction of its original form. There are holes in it created by pieces you did not find and never will. Like the pieces missing from your relationship. Held together by history and commitment but still broken. And severely damaged. The vase will never hold flowers again because it cannot hold water. And like your relationship, it has become fragile as you watch a piece fall off the vase when you lifted off the table. And when you think about the broken pieces collected from your relationship, you know that will also never be the same. As you held up the beautiful vase to show people it’s beauty, that now is simply a collection of glued pieces that resembles your relationship. You can no longer showcase your marriage. Only because of its history you place the vase back on the self, but it seems out of place and detracts from the ambience around it. After a few weeks you take the vase to your home office and place it on a shelf. A few weeks later, you sadly change the location to the closet. And like your relationship it has been moved to a different place. A dark place. When people say to you, you and your wife seem to get along very well. You think about showing them the vase. All that remains of the relationship is held together by glue. After several years you are still seeking out the missing pieces from your heart knowing deep inside you will never find. There’s only one way to get them back and that is to leave. But leaving will also mean breaking more pieces. Those are your two choices. If you leave, you will get back some of the pieces you lost but you would lose others by virtue of leaving. RJ Intindola – 2001

– RJ Intindola

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Some friends are more significant and important than other friends. A special friend can often change your life for the better. You will know when this special person enters your life because of the respect you have for them. They will never lie or set you aside for someone or something else. You will have undying trust in this person that any words spoken will never find another ear. They always returned calls at the earliest possible time. They will check in often to see what’s going on in your life and just talk. Your accomplishments will be applauded with praise and losses will never be repeated. This friend has you melted within their heart as you do theirs. When you find such a person be sure to return the love and understand they have gifted you and your life. RJ Intindola – 1983

– RJ Intindola

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This expression was created and expanded over numerous years. And possibly it will continue to be expanded. You will notice that the Internet has altered how the expression is written. I Wrote the first two lines in 1974. There are two experiences that you can never get back. First, words after they had been uttered. And second, a stone after it has been thrown. 1974 I added a third experience in 1980 after personal dramatic circumstances in my life. As a result, the expression was changed as written below. There are three experiences that you can never get back. One, words after they have been spoken. Two, a stone after it has been thrown. Three, a moment or after it has passed In January 1984, my father died, and I added a fourth item. which was stated in a different manner to my brother. Later that same year, I added a fifth experience, related to my brother who had cancer. Remember to spend time with those you love. There are five experiences that you can never get back. One, words after they have been spoken. Two, a stone after it has been thrown. Three, a moment or occasion after it has passed. Four, a person after they have passed. Five, time once it has passed. The final two experiences were added twelve years later in 1996. They are rarely included in the various depictions I have seen on the Internet. The only logic I can conclude for their lack of inclusion, is that I stopped posting to inspirational and poetic websites for several years.. Thus, the final or I should say current construction is noted below. There are seven things you can never get back. 1. Words after they have been spoken. 2. A stone after it has been thrown. 3. A moment or occasion after it has passed. 4. A person after they have passed. 5. Time once it has passed. 6. Betrayal after it has transpired. 7. A lie after it has been spoken. RJ Intindola ―

– RJ Intindola

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