Man, oh man. What a fiasco this little jaunt has turned out to be. Just imagine, me, Smiley, the most experienced desert donkey alive, and here I am teamed up with a jackass. And in toreador pants, yet. Did you get that bit with the binoculars? Do you want to know what he sees out there? I'll tell you: nothin' but nothin'. Just take a look.
Now, now ain't he a livin' doll? I swear, I still don't know how I managed to come up with this character. Several times it got so bad I decided to cut out, and a couple of times I even started. I know every foot of this desert like I know the bottom of my hoof. But each time I get all set to go, then I remember the map. 'Course I knew that hunting buried treasure out here made about as much sense as telling a hair-raising story to a bald-headed man. But still, there was always just a slim chance that map might be the real thing.