27 Dresses

Jane Nichols:
You would rather hang out with Italian models than come with me to my awesome work party?

Jane Nichols:
I feel like I just found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.

Jane Nichols:
Wanna find the ugliest stuff in the store and register Tess for it?

Kevin Doyle:
Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind.

Kevin Doyle:
You kind of look like a shiny mermaid.

Kevin Doyle:
You'd rather focus on other people's Kodak moments than make memories of your own!

Kevin Doyle:
I cried like a baby at the Keller wedding.

Casey:
That's great. I spend two days in bed with a guy and you get flowers.

Casey:
He asks if you want a drink. You smile and say, "Vodka soda". If you already have a drink, you down it. Then there's some flirting, some interoffice sex, an accidental pregnancy, a shotgun wedding, and a life of bliss. How many times do we have to go over this?

Casey:
What good is it being appreciated if no one is naked?

Casey:
Hey, do you wanna come over to my place before the party? Some of the guys from Shipping are coming and they're bringing tequila and bubble wrap.

Casey:
Ooh, you clean up good. I might even be into you.

Casey:
If it was the right thing to do, you'd feel better right now.

Jane:
I never do anything like this.

Kevin:
I know.

Jane:
You do?

Kevin:
Yes, I know. You kept repeating that over and over last night. "I never do this... I never do this... I never do this..."

Jane:
There's gotta be one thing about weddings that you like.

Kevin:
Open bar.

Jane:
No.

Kevin:
[thinks for a moment] All right. So when the bride comes in and she makes her giant, grand entrance, I like to glance back at the poor bastard getting married. 'Cause even though I think he's an idiot for willingly entering into the last legal form of slavery... I don't know, he always looks really, really happy. And, for some reason, I... [notices Jane giving him a weird look] What the hell are you looking at me like that for?

Jane:
Are you shitting me right now?

Kevin:
What?

Jane:
That's my favorite part. Oh, my God. We have something in common.

Kevin:
Yes. Well, statistically that was bound to happen.

[Jane pulls out a garish "Gone With the Wind" dress from her collection.]

Kevin:
What is that?

Jane:
[holding the dress in front of herself] Theme wedding!

Kevin:
What was the theme? Humiliation?

[Kevin helps Jane practice saying "No".]

Kevin:
Jane, give me fifty bucks.

Jane:
No!

Kevin:
Jane, come on. It's fifty bucks. I'll pay you back.

Jane:
No.

Kevin:
[takes her hand lovingly] Jane, I need you... to give me fifty bucks.

Jane:
[hesitant] ...No?

Kevin:
[laughs] See? That was good! [picks up Jane's drink] Jane, can I have your drink?

Jane:
Sure.

Tess:
You won't share that information with him about me. You wouldn't hurt a fly. And you would never hurt me. I'm your sister.

Jane:
That was yesterday. Today you're just the b*tch who broke my heart and cut up my mother's wedding dress.

Jane's Aunt:
It must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.

Jane:
Yes. Then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers and I feel SO much better!

Jane:
[after passing out] Are you a doctor?

Kevin:
No, but Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Drunk were bugging me.

Jane:
God, Casey, can't you keep it in your pants for one wedding?

Casey:
Are you kidding? The only reason to wear this monstrous dress is so that some drunken groomsman can rip it to shreds with his teeth.

Jane:
How refreshing! A man who doesn't believe in marriage.

Kevin:
I'm just trying to point out the hypocrisy of the spectacle.

Jane:
Oh, that's so noble of you! Do you also go around telling small children that Santa Claus doesn't exist? 'Cause someone needs to blow that sh*t wide open.

Kevin:
Ah! So you admit that believing in marriage is kind of like believing in Santa Claus!

Jane:
You got them champagne glasses and a bottle of cristal.

George:
Any way she's gonna believe it actually came from me?

Jane:
Maybe. I wrapped it like a car ran over it.

George:
Nice touch.

Jane:
You write the most beautiful things. Do you actually believe in love and marriage and just pretend to be a cynic, or are you actually a cynic who knows how to spin romantic crap for girls like me?

Kevin:
I didn't follow that at all, but I think the second one, the spinning crap one.

Kevin:
Don't you have any needs?

Jane:
No. I'm Jesus.