Kung Fu Panda

Kung Fu Panda is a 2008 animated film about an obese and clumsy panda who finds himself designated the prophesied Dragon Warrior, much to the disbelief of his would be peers.

Production: Paramount Pictures
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 14 wins & 37 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.6
Metacritic:
73
Rotten Tomatoes:
87%
PG (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Year:
2008
92
$215,395,021
Website
1,749 Views

Shifu:
I... I... have... it's... it's very bad news.

Oogway:
Aah, Shifu. There's just news. There's no good or bad.

Shifu:
Master, your vision... your vision was right. Tai Lung has broken out of prison! He's on his way!

Oogway:
That is bad news... if you do not believe that the Dragon Warrior can stop him.

Shifu:
The panda? Master, that panda is not the Dragon Warrior. He wasn't even meant to be here. It was an accident.

Oogway:
There are no accidents.

Shifu:
[Sighs] Yes, I know. You said that already... twice.

Oogway:
Well, that was no accident either.

Shifu:
... Thrice.

Oogway:
My friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours, until you let go of the illusion of control.

Shifu:
Illusion?

Oogway:
Yes. Look at this tree, Shifu. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before it's time.

Shifu:
But there are things we can control. [Kicks the tree causing several peaches to fall] I can control when the fruit will fall. [One hits him on the head. Oogway chuckles] And I can control... [Tosses the peach in the air and chops it in half] ...where to plant the seed. [Punches a hole in the ground and catches the seed] That is no illusion, Master. [Throws the seed into the hole]

Oogway:
Ah, yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.

Shifu:
But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!

Oogway:
Maybe it can. [Covers the seed in dirt] If you are willing to guide it, to nurture it. To believe in it.

Shifu:
But how? How? I need your help, master.

Oogway:
No. You just need to believe. Promise me, Shifu. Promise me you will believe.

Shifu:
I... I will try.

Oogway:
Good. [Sees petals floating around him] My time has come. You must continue your journey without me. [Hands Shifu his staff]

Shifu:
What... What are you...? [Oogway backs into the swirling petals] Master, you can't leave me!

Oogway:
[Starts to vanish] You must believe.

[Po sees the Furious Five up close for the first time, watching him with curious expressions]

Po:
Whoa, the Furious Five! You're so much bigger than your action figures! Except for you, Mantis. You're about the same.

[Mantis gives Po a glare as one of his antennae twitches.]

Shifu:
Go ahead, Panda. Show us what you can do.

Po:
[uneasily] Uh, are they gonna watch, or should I just wait until they get back to work or somethin'?

Shifu:
Hit it.

Po:
[stalling] Yeah, well, I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my Kung Fu may not be as good as... later on...

Shifu:
Just hit it.

Po:
Uh, okay. [looks over at the training dummy] What'cha got? You got nothing, cause I got it right here. You pickin' on my friends? [quickly shuffles his feet] Get ready to feel the thunder, I'm comin' at you with the crazy feet. What'cha gonna do about crazy feet? Come on. I'm a blur, I'm a blur. You've never seen bear style, you've only seen praying mantis. Or monkey-style.

[He starts chattering like a monkey; Monkey raises his eyebrows]

Po:
Or snickety-snake--

Shifu:
[annoyed] Would you hit it?!

Po:
[stops]All right.(annoyed)

[He gives the dummy a little tap with his fist, making it lean back.]

Shifu:
Why don't you try again? A little harder?

[Po punches the dummy, sending it hurtling backwards.]

Po:
Ha! How's tha--?

[The dummy swings back, knocking his tooth out and sending him flying into the training hall's obstacle course. The Five start forward, but Shifu holds up his hand to stop them.]

Po:
(accidentally does a split on the moving ropes) Oh, that hurts!

[A spiked pendulum swings towards him and hits him square in the face, knocking him into Crane's tilting bowl, hitting his head several times]

Shifu:
[very amused] This'll be easier than I thought.

[Po spills out of the tilting bowl, and wanders to the moving arm guard section]

Po:
Feeling a little nauseous.

[He pushes one arm, starting a chain reaction that causes him to get hit repeatedly in the face, belly, legs, arms...]

Po:
Ow! Oh, those are hard...!

[...then in the scrotum.]

Po:
Ooh-hoo-hoo! [drops to knees, rises and covers crotch] My tenders!

[In pain, he rests one hand on a moving arm, starting the whole chain reaction over again, and smacking him into the fire floor area.]

Po:
Uh-oh.

[Cut back to Shifu and the Furious Five who wince and look away as we hear fire burning and Po screaming. He slumps over next to Shifu, burnt and charred.]

Po:
How did I do?

Shifu:
There is now a Level Zero.

[He snuffs out a flame on top of Po's head.]

(Trying to get to his room without waking anyone, Po tiptoes through the hallway, only to trip and walk into Crane's room)

Po:
Hi, you're, uh, you're up.

Crane:
Am now.

Po:
I was just--some day, huh? That Kung Fu stuff is hard work, right? Ur biceps sore?

Crane:
(looks at his arms awkwardly) Uh, I've had a long and rather disappointing day. So, yeah. I should probably get to sleep now.

Po:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

Crane:
OK, thanks.

Po:
It's just-- Man, I'm such a big fan! You guys were totally amazing at the Battle of the Weeping River. Outnumbered a thousand and one, but you didn't stop. And you just--

[He tries Kung Fu, only to accidentally kick a hole in the wall, leading to Monkey's room; Po peaks into the hole to see Monkey, who is now glaring at him]

Po:
Oh, sorry about that.

Crane:
Uh, look, you don't belong here.

Po:
(sighs in disappointment) I know. I know. You're right. I don't have--I just--my whole life, I've dreamed of--

Crane:
No, no, no. I meant you don't belong here. I mean, in this room. This is my room. (softly taps his bed with his foot) Property of Crane.

Po:
Okay. Right, right. So, yeah, you wanna get to sleep and I'm keeping you up. We get big things tomorrow. All right. You are awesome. Last thing I wanna say. Bye-bye.

[He leaves, but remains outside the door, making Crane sigh in annoyance]

Crane:
Oy.

Po:
(peeks his head in) What was that?

Crane:
I didn't say anything.

Po:
Okay. All right. Good night. Sleep well.

[Po closes the door and Crane puts his foot on his head]

Po:
That seemed a bit awkward.

[Po tries to get to his room despite the creaking noise; Tigress opens her doors angrily]

Po:
Master Tigress! I didn't mean to wake you, just, uh--

Tigress:
You do not belong here.

Po:
Yeah, yeah, of course, this is your room.

Tigress:
I mean you don't belong in the Jade Palace. You're a disgrace to Kung Fu, and if you have any respect for who we are and what we do, you will be gone by morning.

[She slams her doors closed. Po, clearly hurt by her words, gropes for a response.]

Po:
[weakly] Big fan...

(Po is making dinner for The Furious Five)

Po:
So I'm like "Fine. You may be a wolf. You may be the scariest bandit in the Hajin Province, but you're a lousy tipper!"

Crane:
Really? So how'd you get out of there alive?

Po:
I mean, I didn't actually say that... but I thought it... in... in my mind. If he could read my mind he woulda been like "What?" Order up. (passes out bowls of soup to four of the Five) Think you'll like it? (watches patiently)

Mantis:
This is really good!

Po:
(sitting down) Nah, c'mon, you should try my dad's secret ingredient soup. He actually knows the secret ingredient.

Viper:
What are you talking about? This is amazing!

Crane:
Wow, you're a really good cook!

(Po looks a bit sheepish, wondering if his old life really could influence his new.)

Mantis:
I wish my mouth was bigger!

Monkey:
Tigress, you've got to try this.

Tigress:
Hmmm. (picking up a cube of tofu with her chopsticks, the only one of the five without noodles) It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing but the dew of a single Ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.

(The Five realize Po's been shot down yet again.)

Po:
I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet, heh heh. I'm gonna need a lot more than dew, and, uh, universe juice.

(Po slurps his noodles, with one hanging over his nose; Mantis snickers)

Po:
What?

Mantis:
Oh, nothing.. .Master Shifu. (everyone, except Tigress, begin to chuckle)

Po:
(impersonating Master Shifu) You will never be the Dragon Warrior unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth. (The Furious Five, except Tigress, laugh) What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I have never heard of it! Work hard, Panda, and maybe someday.... you will have ears like mine! (he brings two bowls up to his head to mimic ears; the Five laugh, then immediately stop, with shocked expressions) Ears. It's not working for ya? I thought they're pretty good...

Monkey:
(whispering) It's Shifu!

Po:
Of course it's Shifu, who do you think I'm doing?

(The Five stare at Po shockingly; Monkey points at the door. Po looks and sees Shifu with Oogway's staff.)

Po:
Oh, Master Shifu! Uh.... (slurps the noodle and accidentally presses the bowls to his chest so he looks like he has on a bikini top. The Five, except Tigress, snicker.)

Shifu:
(angrily) You think this is funny? Tai Lung has escaped from prison, and you're acting like children!

Po:
What?

Shifu:
He is coming for the Dragon Scroll! (To Po) And you are the only one who can stop him!

Po:
(After his bowls fall to the ground, then laughs) And here I am saying you got no sense of humor! (Shifu looks at him deadly serious.) I'm gonna.... stop Tai Lung. What? You're serious? And I have to.... Uh, no-uh, Master Oogway will stop him! He did it before, he'll do it again!

Shifu:
(Shakes his head) Oogway cannot! (Face softens and he stares sadly at his master's staff.) Not anymore. (The Five gasp in shock, realizing Oogway is gone) Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.

Tigress:
The panda?

Shifu:
Yes, the panda! (With conviction due to Oogway's last charge on him before he died)

Tigress:
Master, please! [pushes her chair out] Let us stop Tai Lung. This is what you've trained us for!

Shifu:
No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his! [points at Po, then realizes he's not there] Where'd he go?

(Shifu and Tai Lung fight in the Jade Palace)

Tai Lung:
I rotted in jail for twenty years... because of your weakness.

Shifu:
Obeying your master isn't weakness!

Tai Lung:
You knew I was the Dragon Warrior. (Flashback ensues; 20 years ago, in the exact same spot in the Hall of Warriors; Tai Lung awaits Shifu and Oogway's evaluation; Tai Lung proudly believes he will receive the dragon scroll) You always knew. But, when Oogway said otherwise (Oogway turns to Shifu and shakes his head in refusal, and walks away. Shifu is about to say something, but remains silent out of respect for his master) ...what did you do? (Tai Lung cannot believe what he is hearing and seeing) What did you do?! (Scene returns to present; Tai Lung is furious) Nothing!

Shifu:
You were not meant to be the Dragon Warrior! That was not my fault!

Tai Lung:
(going into a rage) Not your fault?! (Angrily knocks down Master Flying Rhino's armor) Who filled my head with dreams?! (Starts throwing weapons at Shifu) Who drove me to train until my bones cracked?! WHO DENIED ME MY DESTINY?!? (Launches a volley of blades at Shifu, who deflects all of them with ease, but barely countering the last one)

Shifu:
(Successfully driving last blade into the ground) It was never my decision to make!

(Tai Lung growls and leaps to Oogway's shrine. He finally realizes that Oogway is gone and picks up the deceased master's staff.)

Tai Lung:
(Holds the staff out to Shifu) It is now. (angered, Shifu charges Tai Lung, hitting him before Tai Lung uses the curved end of Oogway's staff to catch Shifu by the neck and pin him to the ground.) Give me the scroll!

Shifu:
I would rather die!

(Tai Lung growls, then tries to kill Shifu with Oogway's staff. Shifu pushes against it, and the staff breaks in half and clutters away. They fight some more, until Tai Lung evetually gains the upper hand.)

Tai Lung:
(furiously pummelling Shifu) All I ever did, I did to make you proud! Tell me how proud you are, Shifu! Tell me! TELL ME! (his final blow sends Shifu flying across the room. He lands in a heap at the foot of the stairs)

Shifu:
(tired, solemn and sad) I have always been proud of you. From the first moment, I've been proud of you. And it was my pride, that blinded me; I loved you too much to see what you were becoming... what I was turning you into. I'm... I'm sorry.

(Tai Lung is taken aback for a moment, but recovers and seizes Shifu by the throat, holding him up in the air)

Tai Lung:
I don't want your apology; I want my scroll! (sees the Dragon Scroll is gone) Where is it?! (Slams Shifu to the floor)

Shifu:
(Trying his best to escape Tai Lung's grip around his neck.)The Dragon Warrior- has taken scroll halfway across China by now. (Coughs) You will never see that scroll, Tai Lung. (Tai Lung draws out his claws, ready to kill Shifu) Never! Never.... (Tai Lung snarls, about to lay down his death blow on his former master.)

Po:
(off-screen) Hey!

(Tai Lung stops and turns around. He sees Po standing with the dawn behind him at the entrance.... currently panting for breath)

Po:
Ugh, stairs. Ohhh.

Tai Lung:
Who are you?

Po:
(catching his breath) Buddy... I'm the Dragon Warrior. (Gasps one last time)

Tai Lung:
(disbelievingly) You? (to Shifu as he tosses him to the floor) Him? He's a panda. [To Po] You're a panda. What are you going to do, big guy? Sit on me? [Chuckles]

Po:
Don't tempt me. [laughs] Now, I'm gonna use this. [Holds up the Dragon Scroll] You want it? Come get it.

Po:
[making dinner for The Furious Five] So, I'm like "Fine. You may be a wolf. You may be the scariest bandit in the Hajin Province, but you're a lousy tipper!"

Crane:
Really, so how'd you get out of there alive?

Po:
I mean, I didn't actually say that, but I thought it... in... in my mind. If he could read my mind, he woulda been like "What?". Order up! [passes out bowls of soup to four of the Five] Hope you like it. [watches patiently]

Mantis:
This is really good!

Po:
[sitting down] Nah, c'mon, you should try my dad's secret ingredient soup. He actually knows the secret ingredient.

Viper:
What are you talking about? This is amazing!

Crane:
Wow, you're a really good cook! [Po looks a bit sheepish, wondering if his old life really could influence his new.]

Mantis:
I wish my mouth was bigger!

Monkey:
Tigress, you've got to try this.

Tigress:
Hmmm. [picking up a cube of tofu with her chopsticks, the only one of the five without noodles] It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing, but the dew of a single Ginko leaf and the energy of the universe. [The Five realize Po's been shot down yet again.]

Po:
I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet, heh heh. I'm gonna need a lot more than dew, and... uh, universe juice. [slurps his noodles, with one hanging over his nose; Mantis snickers] What?

Mantis:
Oh, nothing... "Master Shifu". [everyone, except Tigress, begin to chuckle]

Po:
[impersonating Master Shifu] "You will never be the Dragon Warrior... unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth." [The Furious Five, except Tigress, laughs] "What is that noise you're making, laughter? I have never heard of it! Work hard, Panda, and maybe someday, you will have ears like mine!" [brings 2 bowls up to his head to mimic ears; the Five laugh, then immediately stop, with shocked expressions] Ears. It's not working for ya? I thought they're pretty good.

Monkey:
[whispering] It's Shifu!

Po:
Of course it's Shifu. Who do you think I'm doing? [The Five stare at Po shockingly; Monkey points at the door. Po looks and sees (the real) Shifu with Oogway's staff.] Oh... Master Shifu! Uh... [slurps the noodle and accidentally presses the bowls to his chest so he looks like he is wearing a bikini top. The Five, except Tigress, snicker.]

Shifu:
[angrily] You think this is funny? Tai Lung has escaped from prison, and you're acting like children!

Po:
What?

Shifu:
He is coming for the Dragon Scroll! [to Po] And you are the only one who can stop him!

Po:
[After his bowls fall to the ground, then laughs] And here I am saying you got no sense of humor! [Shifu looks at him deadly serious.] I'm gonna... stop Tai Lung. What, you're serious, and I have to? Uh, no... Uh, Master Oogway will stop him! He did it before, he'll do it again!

Shifu:
[Shakes his head] Oogway cannot! [Face softens and he stares sadly at his master's staff.] Not anymore (in fact). [The Five gasp in shock, realizing Oogway is gone] Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.

Tigress:
The panda?

Shifu:
Yes, the panda! [With conviction due to Oogway's last charge on him before he died]

Tigress:
Master, please! [pushes her chair out] Let us stop Tai Lung. This is what you've trained us for!

Shifu:
No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his! [points at Po, who's NOT there] Where'd he go? [Scenes to Cut outside Po running down the stairs and Shifu stops Po from leaving] You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!

Po:
Watch me! [Po tries to run past Shifu, but was pushed away] Come on! How am I supposed to defeat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs.

Shifu:
You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior! [Pokes Po in the stomach]

Po:
Ow! You don't believe that! [Shifu swings his arm around] You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me!

Shifu:
[Po tries to run past Shifu, but was pushed away again] Yes, I was, but now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.

Po:
You're not my master. [Po shoves the staff away from his face.] And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.

Shifu:
Then why didn't you quit?! You knew I was trying to get rid of you, and yet you stayed!

Po:
Yeah, I stayed. [stands up] I stayed because though every time you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled, it hurt, but it could never hurt more than it did every day of my life just being me. [Po Pauses. Shifu is in a stunned silence] I stayed because I thought if anyone could change me... could make me... not me, it was you, the greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!

Shifu:
But I can change you! I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior, and I will!

Po:
Oh, come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now, and even if it takes him 100 years to get here, how are you... gonna change this into the Dragon Warrior?! Huh? [Shifu is speechless] How... how...? HOW?!

Shifu:
[snaps and yells out answer in frustration] I DON'T KNOW! (Shifu calms down a bit, then he sighs deeply, realizing what he means) I don't know.

Po:
[his anger turns to sadness] That's what I thought.

Tigress:
[watch Po sadly and Shifu walk away and jump] This what you trained me for. [Keeps going. The rest of the Furious Five follow her]

Viper:
[Now caught up with Tigress] Tigress!

Tigress:
Don't try to stop them!

Viper:
We're not trying to stop him.

Tigress:
What?

Viper:
We're coming with you.

[The monkey thumb up and the furious five and jump into the moon, The next morning, Shifu felt alone, and they heard Po karate, Shifu go inside and looking for Po. Shifu walks in to see Po in the kitchen, having just punched through a wood cupboards and is currently eatings its contents]

Po:
[Sees Shifu and stops; Shifu look arounds the kitchen, where shelves are broken, cupboards have holes in them, and Po’s still got food in his hands] What? [angrily] I eat when I'm upset, okay!

Shifu:
Oh, no need to explain. [Start to turn away, then turn back] I just thought you might be Monkey, he hides almond cookies on the top shelf.

[He pretends to walk off and instead leans against the wall beside the doorway, hearing a bit scuffling. When he looks in, Po is ten feet above the ground, doing a perfect split to keep himself airborne and currently shoveling Monkey’s almond cookies into his face. With a mixture of surprise and realization, Shifu examines Po. After a minute, Po sees Shifu.]

Po:
[With cookies in his mouth] Don’t tell monkey.

Shifu:
[in astonishment] Look at you.

Po:
Yeah, I know, I disgust you.

Shifu:
No, no, I mean, how did you get up there?

Po:
[taking a few more cookies] I don’t know. I just- I don’t know. I was getting a cookie.

Shifu:
And yet, you are ten feet off the ground, and have done a perfect split.

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