Kung Fu Panda2008

(Po is making dinner for The Furious Five)

Po:
So I'm like "Fine. You may be a wolf. You may be the scariest bandit in the Hajin Province, but you're a lousy tipper!"

Crane:
Really? So how'd you get out of there alive?

Po:
I mean, I didn't actually say that... but I thought it... in... in my mind. If he could read my mind he woulda been like "What?" Order up. (passes out bowls of soup to four of the Five) Think you'll like it? (watches patiently)

Mantis:
This is really good!

Po:
(sitting down) Nah, c'mon, you should try my dad's secret ingredient soup. He actually knows the secret ingredient.

Viper:
What are you talking about? This is amazing!

Crane:
Wow, you're a really good cook!

(Po looks a bit sheepish, wondering if his old life really could influence his new.)

Mantis:
I wish my mouth was bigger!

Monkey:
Tigress, you've got to try this.

Tigress:
Hmmm. (picking up a cube of tofu with her chopsticks, the only one of the five without noodles) It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing but the dew of a single Ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.

(The Five realize Po's been shot down yet again.)

Po:
I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet, heh heh. I'm gonna need a lot more than dew, and, uh, universe juice.

(Po slurps his noodles, with one hanging over his nose; Mantis snickers)

Po:
What?

Mantis:
Oh, nothing.. .Master Shifu. (everyone, except Tigress, begin to chuckle)

Po:
(impersonating Master Shifu) You will never be the Dragon Warrior unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth. (The Furious Five, except Tigress, laugh) What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I have never heard of it! Work hard, Panda, and maybe someday.... you will have ears like mine! (he brings two bowls up to his head to mimic ears; the Five laugh, then immediately stop, with shocked expressions) Ears. It's not working for ya? I thought they're pretty good...

Monkey:
(whispering) It's Shifu!

Po:
Of course it's Shifu, who do you think I'm doing?

(The Five stare at Po shockingly; Monkey points at the door. Po looks and sees Shifu with Oogway's staff.)

Po:
Oh, Master Shifu! Uh.... (slurps the noodle and accidentally presses the bowls to his chest so he looks like he has on a bikini top. The Five, except Tigress, snicker.)

Shifu:
(angrily) You think this is funny? Tai Lung has escaped from prison, and you're acting like children!

Po:
What?

Shifu:
He is coming for the Dragon Scroll! (To Po) And you are the only one who can stop him!

Po:
(After his bowls fall to the ground, then laughs) And here I am saying you got no sense of humor! (Shifu looks at him deadly serious.) I'm gonna.... stop Tai Lung. What? You're serious? And I have to.... Uh, no-uh, Master Oogway will stop him! He did it before, he'll do it again!

Shifu:
(Shakes his head) Oogway cannot! (Face softens and he stares sadly at his master's staff.) Not anymore. (The Five gasp in shock, realizing Oogway is gone) Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.

Tigress:
The panda?

Shifu:
Yes, the panda! (With conviction due to Oogway's last charge on him before he died)

Tigress:
Master, please! [pushes her chair out] Let us stop Tai Lung. This is what you've trained us for!

Shifu:
No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his! [points at Po, then realizes he's not there] Where'd he go?