Victoria Wood: As Seen on TV

Various characters:
[as the continuity announcer] I'd like to apologise to viewers in the North. It must be awful for them.

Kitty:
"Are you familiar with Marks?", she said. I said, "Well, I think their pants have dropped off." She said, "I was referring to Karl Marx, who as you know is buried in Highgate cemetery." I said, "Of course I knew! But were you aware," I said, "that Cheadle crematorium holds the ashes of Stanley Kershaw, patenter of the Kershaw double-gusset? To my mind a far bigger boom than communism!"