Jeff Foxworthy: Totally Committed1998

Jeff Foxworthy:
When my wife first discovered she was pregnant with our first child, she starting worrying about this little baby growing inside of her. Well, I didn't have any baby growing inside of me, I had to worry about something. I started worrying about how we were going to pay for all of this.

[laughter]

Jeff Foxworthy:
Overnight, I became my own father. Just stalking through the house turning off lights.

[laughter and applause]

Jeff Foxworthy:
"Anybody in this room? Anybody going *through* this room? We're lighting up the neighborhood here, people! Listen, I've got a 75 watter in here, but I can drop her down to a 15 if we can't handle the responsibility!"

[laughter]

Jeff Foxworthy:
By the time my second child was born, I was standing outside the house staring at the meter going "turn something off! This thing is spinning like a top, turn something off! You people are killing me! Unplug something!"

[laughter]