Jeff Foxworthy: Totally Committed1998

Jeff Foxworthy:
Actually, I think it's very big of me, as a man, to admit that I do lose things. 'Cause you know what men normally say. "Somebody stole it." I do that a lot. Walk around the house, "somebody stole the remote control!"

[laughter]

Jeff Foxworthy:
My wife's like "that's right, Jeff. Somebody broke into our home, passed up the jewelry, and stole your remote control. Not only that, but they got the case to the Doobie Brothers cassette. We're wiped out."

[laughter]

Jeff Foxworthy:
Of course, she's not much better. You know what she bought me for Christmas this year? A *portable* safe!

[laughter]

Jeff Foxworthy:
[like a product advertisement] "To save thieves the hassle of gathering up your belongings, it's the portable safe! With an easy tote handle so they can take it back to the thieves' den and figure out the combination at their leisure. The portable safe, by RonCo."

[laughter]