There's Something About Mary1998

Director: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly
Stars: Ben Stiller, Cameron Diaz, Matt Dillon, Lee Evans, Chris Elliott
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Rating: R (Restricted)
Runtime: 119 minutes

There's Something About Mary is one of the funniest movies in years, recalling the days of the Zucker-Abraham-Zucker movies, in which (often tasteless) gags were piled on at a fierce rate. The difference is that cowriters and codirectors Bobby and P… more »

Ted:
Look, I didn't solicit any sex, OK? This is a huge misunderstanding. I was really going out to pee, I was walking to the bushes, I tripped over this guy - and suddenly all those cops and their helicopters...

Detective Stabler:
Ted, Ted, it's OK, we believe you. [about the dead body in the trunk] The problem is we found your friend in the car.

Ted:
[smiles] Oh, the hitchhiker? That's what this is about, the hitchhiker? Oh, oh, great. This is my luck - I get caught for everything.

Detective Krevoy:
[pats Ted's shoulder] So... you admit it?

Ted:
Ah, yeah, guilty as charged. Look, I know you guys got a job to do, alright? And I'm really sorry. I did it, I admit it. You know, the guy even told me, the hitchhiker told me it was illegal.

Detective Krevoy:
Well, uh, can you tell us his name?

Ted:
Ah... no, I didn't catch it. Can we cut to the chase, I mean, am I like in a lot of trouble here?

Detective Stabler:
[nods] First tell us why you did it.

Ted:
Why I did it? Ah... I don't know. Boredom? The guy turned to be a blubber mouth who just would not shut up.

Detective Krevoy:
[trying to control himself] Ted, this wasn't your first time, was it?

Ted:
No.

Detective Krevoy:
How many are we talking here?

Ted:
[confused] Hitchhikers? My whole life? Ah... I don't know - twenty-five, fifty... I mean, who keeps track? Hey, you know, I know this is the Bible Belt and everything, but where I come from this is not that big deal, I mean...

Detective Krevoy:
You son of a bitch! You're gonna fry! [slams Ted's head against the desk]

Detective Stabler:
Take it easy! Calm down! Are you OK?

Ted:
[to Krevoy] What the hell is wrong with you?

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    "There's Something About Mary Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 19 Jan. 2021. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/1200003>.

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