Drowning Mona2000

Jeff Dearly:
[while threatening to kill himself] I know you all think I killed my parents.

Chief Wyatt Rash:
We don't think you killed anybody!

Jeff Dearly:
Yeah? Well, you're full of sh*t! Everyone know I've been wanting to get back at her ever since that night...

[a flashback shows Mona cleaving a sausage]

Jeff Dearly:
Hey, Ma, there's no more beer. Give me some of yours.

Mona Dearly:
Don't touch that beer, Jeff.

Jeff Dearly:
[reaches out] Oh, give it to me.

Mona Dearly:
I SAID...

[cleaves his hand clean off]

Jeff Dearly:
[screams in pain] F***!

[back to present, everyone is shocked and disgusted]

Jeff Dearly:
Was I so wrong?

Lt. Feege Gruber:
You bet your ass.

Jeff Dearly:
Yeah, but, I didn't kill her. Look, don't get me wrong: I'm glad she's dead and all, but I sure as hell didn't do it.

Chief Wyatt Rash:
Jeff, I know you didn't kill her.

Jeff Dearly:
I didn't kill my dad neither.

Chief Wyatt Rash:
Then why don't you give me the gun.

Jeff Dearly:
[puts the gun to head] BECAUSE MY LIFE SUCKS, MAN!