JonTron2010

JonTron:
Macauley? Is that you?

Macauley Culkin:
That's me! I'm here to tell you it's not too late! You still have a chance!

JonTron:
Jesus, what happened to your face? You doin' alright?

Macauley Culkin:
I'm dead.

JonTron:
I mean, honestly, seeing you in interviews, you seem like a great guy. You just got a bit of a corpse face.

Macauley Culkin:
Jon, it's January 25th. You slept for a month! You slept through Christmas and starved your bird out!

JonTron:
Alright, Cronos. If I'm expected to believe it's January 25th, then why does my calendar say it's December 25th? Ano Domini, year of our lord, b*tch.

[calendar flips to January]

JonTron:
Uh-oh.

Macauley Culkin:
By the way, I'm trying to help you here. I'm gonna ignore how hurtful that last statement was about the corpse face and help you undo this thing. I shouldn't now. I shouldn't, but I gonna because I'm a good person. I didn't do that much drugs! And my dad stole my money! The only way to bring your dead friend back is to find a good game from the Home Alone franchise, which is... there's a lot of them, so good luck. I mean it. Please help me now. I got a couple two or three bookies on me and a few delayed car payments. Find the game please.