Married with Children1987

Customer #1:
I don't care what your little ruler says, I've been a seven since I graduated from high school.

Al Bundy:
Well, these *are* sevens. The box says nine because, well, uh... Look, lady, you're a nine. I can accept it; why can't you?

Customer #1:
You're very fresh!

Al Bundy:
No, ma'am, that's impossible. Because for the last hour, I've been trying to squeeze your foot into a shoe, when I really should've been easing them into the box! So, no, I'd say I'm anything but fresh. By the way, you want to tell John Henry over there to give the hundred dollar pumps a rest.

Customer #1:
Your ad says *courteous* service.

Al Bundy:
But that's not my ad, ma'am. That's the former owner's. He was killed tragically on this very spot when a size nine exploded in his face!

Customer #1:
[to her son] Come on, Arnold. We're leaving.

Arnold:
I want a balloon.

Al Bundy:
You've already got one.