Scrubs2001

Dr. Bob Kelso:
Hiya! My name is Bob Kelso and I like whores! Now... why don't I introduce myself like that? Because there is a time and a place for the truth. Now you take Dorian's intern Brendan, for example: he told his patient that it was the first time he was performing a spinal tap; and what did the patient do, Doctor?

Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian:
Oh, well, oh... she... she started to hyperventilate, a-and then she reached for a hit of what she thought was an oxygen tank; it turned out to be a helium container from paediatrics. The she screamed [in a very high-pitched voice] "I'll kill you, b*tches!", [in his normal voice again] which, frankly, we all thought was hilarious.

Dr. Bob Kelso:
Oh, indeed it was. But you know what wasn't? When she ran for the door, tripped and fell and broke her femur. Now she's suing the hospital, and since Ted is our lawyer, what's going to happen?

Ted Buckland:
[reading his newspaper] Girlfriend's gonna get paid...

Dr. Christopher Turk:
So you called this meeting to say we should lie more?

Dr. Perry Cox:
Sorry there, Bobbo, but I'm gonna go ahead and tell the truth whenever I damn well please. For instance, your tie: it's hideous. In fact its only redeeming quality is to divert attention from the very visible outline of your man girdle.

Dr. Bob Kelso:
Too mean.

Dr. Perry Cox:
Sorry.