Soap1977

[Jodie walks into a private investigator's office]

Jodie:
Maggie Chandler?

Maggie:
What does it say on the door?

Jodie:
Maggie Chandler.

Maggie:
You think I walked into the wrong office this morning?

Jodie:
So much for small talk.

Maggie:
[not looking up from her typewriter] Have a seat, I'll be with you in a sec. You're the guy with the missing kid?

Jodie:
Yes.

Maggie:
Why didn't you eat this morning?

Jodie:
I wasn't hung-how did you know?

Maggie:
You've been eying my Danish ever since you walked in here.

Jodie:
Very quick.

Maggie:
You're not getting any.

Jodie:
I've got you eating out the palm of my hand.

Maggie:
[turns to Jodie] Queens.

Jodie:
Excuse me?

Maggie:
Your accent. Queens, with a touch of Manhattan mixed in. You probably live in Connecticut and you play a lot of ball. You don't smoke, you don't have any cats and you live with your mother, correct?

Jodie:
That's amazing.

Maggie:
Nothing to it. You see, that nasal tone in your voice is a 50/50 mix of New York working man and New York intellectual, hence the Queens and Manhattan. The whiney quality is obviously Connecticut. You have the body of a second baseman, I don't smell tobacco smoke on your clothes, there's no cat fuzz on your pants and your address is a family neighborhood. No smoking, no cats and mama.

Jodie:
I whine?

Maggie:
Well, I didn't say it wasn't pleasant.

Jodie:
[whining] I don't whine.