The Thick of It2005

Jamie:
Where's Neil?

Malcolm Tucker:
Leicester. Poor f***er! You'd think that once you'd achieved a certain status, you might be excused to visit Leicester, wouldn't you?

Jamie:
Have you seen the Whip's numbers?

Malcolm Tucker:
NOMFuP.

Jamie:
Eh?

Malcolm Tucker:
NOMFuP. N-O-M-F-P. Not My F***ing Problem. I quite like that. Did you like that? I'll use that quite a lot today. [to a passing by communications guy] Hey, well done on Fatty's profile! Very very good! I nearly liked the enormous f***er, reading it!

Jamie:
What if the MoD breaks tonight? What I'm hearing is, the overspend's getting more brutal by the hour. They're talking about topping at one, one and a half billion. Obviously, that's a lot of nurses.

Malcolm Tucker:
Or one fantastically enormous robotic one, yeah?

Jamie:
Obviously.

Malcolm Tucker:
And how's the Minister?

Jamie:
He's shitting himself! [laughs] He's practically kissing his driver goodbye. He said he felt like he's in the Twin Towers on the 9/11, just f***ing waiting.

Malcolm Tucker:
Oh, for f***'s sake. Everybody know their lines, right? IT projects, always overspend. [to Sam] D'you think you could manage me a desent cup of tea? Would that be possible? Thank you. Try not to drip in it. [Sam leaves. To Jamie] I tell you, the thing that worries me... is this dodgy?

Jamie:
I dunno. The kid's firm was the second lowest bid, he says they never talked, what does it matter?

Malcolm Tucker:
No, well, you know me, I'm a man of principle, I like to know whether I'm lying to save the skin of a tosser or a moron.

Jamie:
Probably a moron.