Mork & Mindy

Mork:
[talking to himself] Boy, am I in for it now. Sent before the white desk again. What did I do? The solar lander, you fool, you painted a mustache on it. But Orson doesn't know I did it. Then why am I here? If I knew that I wouldn't be talking to myself.

Orson:
Mork

Mork:
Good morning, Orson

Orson:
Orson. You call me Orson to my face, but behind my back you call me fatso, rocket ship thighs, and star-tush.

Mork:
You forgot, "laser breath". Ar-ar [looks down] Sorry your immenseness.

Orson:
See what I mean? These constant displays of humor are not acceptable behavior here on Ork.

Mork:
You're right, we are rather a dull lot. The white bread of the universe.

Mindy:
Would you like something to drink?

Mork:
Water, or otherwise a quart of crude oil will suffice.

Mindy:
I guess I can spring for the water.

Mork:
Spring water. Ar-ar!

Mindy:
Your suit's on backwards.

Mork:
It is? Boy do I feel like a clone.

Mindy:
You're not a priest are you?

Mork:
I am Mork from Ork. Nanu nanu.

Mindy:
Ork?

Mork:
Yes. You see Ork is a planet. You follow the Big Dipper til it comes to a dead end then you hang an up.

Mindy:
You drank that with your finger!

Mork:
Yes. How do you drink?

Mindy:
With my mouth

Mork:
Well how do you talk and drink at the same time? Must be drool city.

Mork [throwing an egg into the air]:
Fly, be free! [Splat]

Mork:
[holding a plate near a sink filled with suds] Welcome, friends, to the temple of suds. If you're ready now, throw down your forks and have your soul cleansed in the Joy to come. I've got some good news and some bad news. First the bad news, that sucker's hot! [throws in the plate and picks up a hand cranked beater and mixes the sudsy water] But now the good news, tonight we'll be having a jacuzzi.

[Mindy comes in angrily, slamming the door and taking her coat off, bunching it up, and throwing it onto the table]

Mork:
Mindy, why are you mad at your coat?

Mindy:
Because my watch stopped.

Mork:
Ah! And you suspect your coat.

Mindy:
No. My watch stopped and I got a ticket.

Mork:
Oh. On Ork, when our watch stops, we only get a warning and they take away Mickey's hands.

Mindy:
See, I was parked in this No Parking after 6 zone with my Jeep, and I got back late because of this stupid watch, and I got a $15 ticket.

Mork:
Oh, that doesn't sound fair.

Mindy:
It's not!

Mork:
Then don't pay the ticket. We're with you. Right on, mama!

Mindy:
I've got to, it's the law.

Mork:
Who made that law?

Mindy:
I dunno, the town council or something.

Mork:
Who said they could do it?

Mindy:
The people that voted them into office.

Mork:
What people?

Mindy:
You know, the people of Boulder. Dad, grandma, me, you know.

Mork:
Boy, that's stupid. You voted to give yourself a ticket.

Mindy:
Yeah, I guess indirectly I did, didn't I?