The Vampire Diaries , Season 1

The Vampire Diaries (2009-present) is an American TV series, based on a novel series written by L. J. Smith, about a young heroine who is the object of passion for two vampire brothers-one good, one evil-who are at war for her heart and for the souls of her friends, family and all the residents of the small town of Mystic Falls, Virginia.

Damon:
Good morning.

Elena:
Where are we?

Damon:
Georgia.

Elena:
Georgia? No..no, we're not. Seriously, Damon, where are we?

Damon:
Seriously, we're - we're in Georgia. (looks at her) How are you feeling?

Elena:
I... I...

Damon:
There were no broken bones. I checked.

Elena:
My car... There was a man... I hit a man. (pause) But then he got up and...who was that?

Damon:
That's what I would like to know.

Elena:
Where is my phone? (Damon looks away) Okay, we really need to go back, nobody knows where I am. Pull over. I mean it, Damon, pull over.

Damon:
(sighs tiredly)

Elena:
Stop the car!

Damon:
Oh, you were so much more fun when you were asleep. (pulls the car over)

Elena:
(gets out of the car)

Damon:
(helps her)

Elena:
I'm fine. We have to go back.

Damon:
Oh, come on. We've already come this far.

Elena:
Why are you doing this? I can't be in Georgia. I...I wrecked my car. I have to go home. (pause) This is kidnapping.

Damon:
That's a little melodramatic, don't you think?

Elena:
You're not funny. You can't do this. I'm not going to Georgia.

Damon:
Well, you're in Georgia. Without your magical necklace, I might add. I can very easily make you...agreeable.

Elena:
What are you trying to prove?

(Elena's phone rings)

Elena:
That's my phone.

Damon:
Mmm... (looks at the phone) It's your boyfriend. (holds the phone out to her; she refuses to answer) I'll take it. (answers) Elena's phone.

Stefan:
Where is she? Why do you have her phone? Is she okay?

Damon:
Elena? Yeah, she's right here. And, yes, she's fine.

Stefan:
Where are you? Let me talk to her.

Damon:
(to Elena) He wants to talk to you.

Elena:
Mm-mm. (shakes her head)

Damon:
(to Stefan) Yeah, I, uh, I don't think she really wants to talk to you right now.

Stefan:
Damon, I swear to God if you touch her-

Damon:
You have a good day. Bye now.

(Stefan and Elena are in bed, cuddling)

Elena:
(sighs) Good morning.

Stefan:
I could get used to this...

Damon:
Rise and shine, sleepyheads!

Stefan:
What are you doing?!

Elena:
Damon, please!

Damon:
Oh, stop being smutty.

Stefan:
Seriously, get out of here!

Damon:
If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it. Now listen - we have some very important business to discuss.

Elena:
And it has to be right now?

Damon:
We have lots to do, now that we're all friends and working towards a common goal. So, in order to open the tomb, we need to find the journal to get the grimoire to undo the spell. So, first things first - since you are Elena Gilbert, you're on journal duty.

Elena:
Since when am I helping?

Damon:
Well, Stefan's helping, and you've taken up residency in Stefan's bed, ergo...

Stefan:
You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

Elena:
I'll look for it today.

Damon:
Good.

Stefan:
How do we know that this journal will hold the location of the grimoire? Are we really gonna take the word of this vampire? He seemed like a bit of a dimwit.

Damon:
In lieu of any other options...

Elena:
Okay, what exactly is a grimoire, anyway?

Damon:
It's a witch's cookbook.

Stefan:
Every spell that a witch casts is unique unto itself, so every witch would document their work...,

Damon:
Yeah. Cookbook.

Stefan:
What about our mystery vampire? 'Dimwit' obviously wasn't working alone. So whoever's out there knows who we are.

Damon:
And I don't like that disadvantage. So chop chop! You know, I'm really liking this whole menage-threesome team thing. It's got a bit of a kink to it. (turns to leave) Don't screw it up.

Damon:
I say we go to Pearl's and bust down the door and annihilate the idiot that attacked us last night.

Stefan:
And then what? We turn to the rest of the house of vampires and say, 'Oops, sorry.'?

Elena:
I can't believe you made a deal with her!

Damon:
It was more like a helpful exchange of information. It's not like I had a choice. She's... scary. Besides, she's gonna help me get Katherine back.

Elena:
Of course she is. Damon gets what he wants, as usual, no matter who he hurts in the process.

Damon:
Well, you don't have to be snarky about it.

Elena:
I woke up this morning to learn that all the vampires have been released from the tomb. I've earned snarky.

Damon:
Ah... How long are you going to blame me for turning your birth mother in to a vampire?

Elena:
I'm not blaming you, Damon. I've accepted the fact that you're a self-serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities.

Damon:
Ouch.

Stefan:
This isn't being very productive. We're gonna figure out a way to deal with Pearl and the vampires, yeah?

Elena:
I'm sorry. He just makes me so cranky.

Stefan:
I know...he makes everybody cranky.

Elena:
So... What are we gonna do?

Stefan:
Damon and I are gonna handle everything. I promise.

Elena:
Well...what about me? I can't just sit here and do nothing.

Stefan:
That's exactly what you're gonna do because that's what's gonna keep you safe.

Elena:
Which means nothing if you're not safe too.

Stefan:
What do you mean? I'm perfectly safe. I have Damon, the self-serving psychopath on my side.

Elena:
That's comforting.

Damon:
(shouting to be heard above the music) Could you turn it up a little bit? It's not annoying yet.

Stefan:
Sorry.

Damon:
When are you going back to school?

Stefan:
Soon.

Damon:
Oh, come on.(offers him glass of blood) Just drink, already. Come on. This self-detox is unnatural.

Stefan:
Could you get that away from me, please?

Damon:
How long did it take you to wean yourself off of it after you last "indulged"? (Stefan doesn't answer) That's not good.

Stefan:
I'll be fine. It just takes a little bit of time.

Damon:
I don't get it. You know you don't have to kill to survive. That's what blood banks are for. I haven't hunted a human in...God, way too long.

Stefan:
Oh, I'm impressed.

Damon:
It's completely self-serving - trying to get the town off the trail of vampires. Which is not very easy, considering there's an entire tomb of them running around.

Stefan:
What are we planning on doing about that?

Damon:
You're not gonna be doing much of anything if you don't have your strength. There's nothing wrong with partaking in a healthy diet of human blood from a blood bank. You're not actually killing anyone.

Stefan:
I have my reasons.

Damon:
Well, what are those holier than thou reasons, because, you know, we've never actually discussed that. You know, I'd love to hear this story.

Stefan:
You're really enjoying this, aren't you? Just watching me struggle.

Damon:
Very much so.

Stefan:
I hate to break it to you, Damon, but I actually have it under complete control.

Damon:
You do? Oh, well, then you should just carry on making the rest of us vampires look bad. Have a great day, Stef. (leaves the room, leaving his glass of blood on a side table; returns a moment later.) Oh, hey, almost forgot something. Oops.

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