The Relic

The Relic



Production: Paramount
  4 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.7
Metacritic:
55
Rotten Tomatoes:
32%
R
Year:
1997
110
1,306 Views

[Dr. Green, Dr. Frock and Dr. Cuthbert discuss the mysterious crates that arrived from Dr. John Whitney's research in Brazil]

Dr. Albert Frock:
No words from John yet, but these crates arrived this morning. They were supposed to be on a ship, except there was some mix-up in Brazil, and they never made it. They were sent by air freight. Here, here, take a look at this. [holds up the relic to Dr. Green] The Kothoga.

Dr. Ann Cuthbert:
Could be.

Margo Green:
And what does this God specialize in?

Dr. Albert Frock:
South American tribe, the Zenzera, long thought to be extinct - They made a deal with Satan to vanquish their enemies. So Kothoga was born - Son of Satan. You have that look again, Margo.

Margo Green:
Why do we keep financing John Whitney's expeditions? As if superstition were the same thing as science.

Dr. Ann Cuthbert:
Anthropologists are permitted to believe in myth. It's part of their charm. In any case, our superstition exhibit is excellent box office for this Museum, and that benefits you, as well.

Margo Green:
Using superstition to bring people to the museum is like hiring topless ushers for the Bolshoi Ballet.

Dr. Albert Frock:
Well if they did, I might go to the Ballet.

Dr. Ann Cuthbert:
Do you really think the restoration department could do something with this?

Dr. Albert Frock:
Certainly, - Possibly even for the opening.

Margo Green:
What was in this other crate?

Dr. Albert Frock:
Except for the packing leaves, it was empty.

Margo Green:
Empty? Was there a packing list? There must have been something in here.

Dr. Albert Frock:
Crates were nailed shut when they arrived.

Margo Green:
[Dr. Green begins to notice a weird growth on the dozens of leaves] Strange.

Dr. Albert Frock:
What?

Margo Green:
Do you think these are eggs?

Dr. Albert Frock:
Oh, no. More like fungus. Probably parasitical. Best not to take any chances.

Dr. Ann Cuthbert:
Quite right. Let's see to having those leaves and crates incinerated.

[the two doctors leave the room when Dr. Green begins to think if she should study up on the mysterious growth]

Dr. Albert Frock:
[from the distance out in the hallway] Of course you can, Margo.

[Dr. Green takes Lt. D'Agosta to Dr. Frock for questions and answers]

Margo Green:
[Dr. Green knocks on Dr. Frock's door] It's Margo.

Dr. Albert Frock:
Oh, who have you brought me?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Uh, a policeman. Lieutenant D'Agosta.

Dr. Albert Frock:
Well, how goes the gradual extinction of the human race, Lieutenant?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Uh, I'm doing what I can to keep it orderly.

[Lt. D'Agosta and Dr. Frock shake hands]

Margo Green:
You and the Lieutenant are kindred spirits. He's very superstitious.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Well, I don't know about very.

Dr. Albert Frock:
Well, you must excuse Margo, Lieutenant. She believes that science must destroy myth, and as a consequence, she has very little patience with superstitious people like us. Margo, did I ever tell you about my experiences with the Kai tribe in Bechuanaland?

Margo Green:
Yes, more than once.

Dr. Albert Frock:
I haven't told him.

[Dr. Frock smiles at Lt. D'Agosta]

Dr. Albert Frock:
The Kai tribe, Lieutenant, believed that headaches were caused by sorcery, and the kinfolk of the headache victim would identify the sorcerer, and then go off and murder him. Of course, the kinfolk of the sorcerer would feel they had to avenge his death, so they'd go and in turn kill the headache victim, and I'm sure you can imagine how it eventually all turned out.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
What's that?

Dr. Albert Frock:
Well, it's a medical miracle. Everybody stopped having headaches.

[Lieutenant D'Agosta laughs]

Dr. Albert Frock:
Lieutenant, what would a superstitious police officer possibly want with an old fossil like me?

[Lt. D'Agosta joins the talkative Dr. Zwiezic at the morgue for the autopsy of Frederick Ford]

Dr. Zwiezic:
Lieutenant D'Agosta, it's lovely to see you under such alarming circumstances. 7 decapitations in one week. Don't you just hate someone who only takes head and never gives it?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
You're bad, Matilda. Real bad.

Dr. Zwiezic:
Autopsy attended by Lieutenant Vincent D'Agosta, Chicago homicide. I heard your ex got custody of the dog.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Is it on the goddamn internet?

Dr. Zwiezic:
You shouldn't have been late on your ALPO payments.

[D'Agosta chuckles]

Dr. Zwiezic:
We have an African-American male, probably age 55 - 60. Height 5'4" - with his head maybe 6'1". Weight 160, give or take, if you know what I mean. There are an undetermined number of lacerations proceeding from the left anterior pectoral region downwards through the sternum, terminating at the right anterior abdominal region. Pectoralis minor and pectoralis major are separated to a great degree, and there is spontaneous dehiscence. The sternal process has been split and the ribcage exposed. Now for the head. The head is decapitated between the axial process and the atlas. The entire occipital portion of the calvarium and half the parietal process has been crushed, or rather seemingly punched through and removed, leaving a hole perhaps 5 inches in diameter. The skull is empty. The entire brain appears to have fallen out or been extracted through this hole.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Any idea about a weapon?

Dr. Zwiezic:
[Dr. Zwiezic replies dramatically] Something big.

[Lt. D'Agosta chuckles]

Dr. Zwiezic:
The brain is severely traumatized and appears to have been severed at the medulla oblongata. The pons varolii is intact but separate. The cerebrum has been completely separated from the mesencephalon, and... Hey! Hey, wait a minute. This brain is light, even for a man. Something's missing, Lieutenant. Where's the rest of it?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
We got everything we found.

Dr. Zwiezic:
There is no thalamic region. There is no pituitary gland.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
What are you talking about?

Dr. Zwiezic:
The thalamus and hypothalamus regulate body temperature, blood pressure, heartbeat. It regulates hundreds of hormones into the bloodstream. Don't you agree, Fred?

Coroner's Assistant:
Yes.

Dr. Zwiezic:
He never shuts up.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
[Lt. D'Agosta smirks] Hmm.

[Lt. D'Agosta confronts Dr. Cuthbert and Lieutenant Parkinson about not opening up the Museum to the public]

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Dr. Cuthbert? Lieutenant Vincent D'Agosta, Chicago Homicide.

Dr. Ann Cuthbert:
Lieutenant, this is Tom Parkinson, our director of security.

Tom Parkinson:
Have you identified the victim, Lieutenant Augustino?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
[Lt. D'Agosta quickly corrects Parkinson with a more stern approach] D'Agosta. The victim's name is Frederick Ford.

Dr. Ann Cuthbert:
Freddie Ford? Oh, what a terrible, terrible thing.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Yeah, I'd say somebody was really pissed off at him. Any thoughts on who that may be?

Dr. Ann Cuthbert:
No, he was a very sweet man. I have no idea.

Tom Parkinson:
I hardly knew the guy.

Dr. Ann Cuthbert:
Lieutenant, I don't mean to downplay the horror of this tragedy or the urgency of your investigation, but what about the Museum?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
I'm going to do this in layers. You'll be allowed in your offices once we've been through the building and determined that there is no danger.

Dr. Ann Cuthbert:
But what about our exhibition space? When will that open? We have a major exhibit about to open. The board is hosting a Gala preview here tomorrow night. It's so vital to us.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
I can't tell you exactly when.

Dr. Ann Cuthbert:
Lieutenant, we've invested so much in this. It would be a disaster for us if we had to postpone.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
We're checking your offices and labs first so you people can go back, do your work. It won't take long. Now, as far as the areas open to the public, we may have somebody on our hands who makes Jeffrey Dahmer look like a Cub Scout, and I've got to be sure he's not here. [D'Agosta walks off]

[Lt. D'Agosta gets on the phone with the Mayor of the city]

Tom Parkinson:
Uh, Lieutenant, it's for you.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Who is it?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
[D'Agosta takes the phone from Lt. Parkinson] Hello?

Mayor Robert Owen:
This is Mayor Owen. What's your first name, Lieutenant?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Vincent.

Mayor Robert Owen:
May I call you Vincent?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Sure.

Mayor Robert Owen:
Good. You can call me Your Honor. Tell you what, Vincent. I'm looking forward to the Gala tonight. My wife is, too. She bought a killer dress that shows off her cleavage. You ever seen my wife's cleavage? It's in all of the papers.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Can't say that I have, Your Honor.

Mayor Robert Owen:
Well, you're one of the few people in the city of Chicago who hasn't. That cleavage helped get me elected. I bet you don't know what to say.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
No, sir, I don't.

Mayor Robert Owen:
So the thing is, Vincent, this Gala tonight is very important. It's important to the museum. It's important to my wife. It's important to the city, and it's real important to Mr. and Mrs. Blaisedale. Do you know who they are?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
No.

Mayor Robert Owen:
Well, they're good friends of mine. Real good friends. They're good friends of the city, real good friends. I was so upset when I thought they would be disappointed tonight, until I heard the wonderful news that you caught that murderer. Terrible business. Anyway, I called to congratulate you on a job well done. I'm so happy we will be having that Gala tonight. I'm going to call the chief and tell him just how happy I am. Nice talking to you Vincent.

[the Mayor hangs up, Lt. D'Agosta puts down the phone to talk to Lt. Parkinson]

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
I'm going to clear the wings of the museum personnel, and open only the central exhibition area, and I'm going to maintain police presence throughout.

Tom Parkinson:
How much police presence?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
As much as I goddamn deem necessary.

[Det. Hollingsworth tries to gather the remaining trapped museum guests to get out through the underground tunnels]

Tom Parkinson:
Excuse me, but I don't care what Lieutenant D - Whatever the hell his name is says! I'm staying!

Mr. Blaisedale:
I'm afraid my wife and I will be staying as well.

Dr. Ann Cuthbert:
Mr. Blaisedale, we must stay together.

Mr. Blaisedale:
My wife won't physically be able to go down stairs or through tunnels. It's best if we stay behind.

Det. Hollingsworth:
One of us can carry her!

Mrs. Blaisedale:
It's out of the question. We'll be fine here.

Dr. Greg Lee:
It's okay, officer. I'll stay behind and protect Mr. and Mrs. Blaisedale.

Bailey:
Give me a break.

Tom Parkinson:
We're not going. What are you going to do, shoot us?

Det. Hollingsworth:
All right. All right.

Det. Hollingsworth:
[Det. Hollingsworth looks back to officers McNally and Bailey] One of you stays here with them. Now who's it going to be?

Bailey:
[McNally and Bailey both in unison] I'll stay!

McNally:
[McNally and Bailey look to each other] I'll stay!

Det. Hollingsworth:
McNally, you're staying!

Bailey:
Hey, you got plenty of ammo?

McNally:
I'm loaded.

Det. Hollingsworth:
Okay. Let's move!

Tom Parkinson:
Dr. Cuthbert. Dr. Cuthbert! I'm sorry, but I don't think you should do this.

Dr. Ann Cuthbert:
Bullshit, Tom. You're fired.

Det. Hollingsworth:
I'll lead with the shotgun. Bailey, you stay at the back. The rest are single file. It's going to be dark. We go slow, we go quiet, and we stick together!

[the group begins to follow Det. Hollingsworth into a dark stairwell]

Det. Hollingsworth:
All right. Stay close and watch your step.

Bailey:
Let's keep it going. Keep it going.

Dr. Greg Lee:
[Dr. Lee talks to the Blaisedales who are still in shock by the situation] Can I get you a drink?

[Lt. D'Agosta talks to Dr. Green and Dr. Frock about the Kothoga being real]

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Somebody want to tell me what in God's name that was?

Dr. Albert Frock:
I think it's the Kothoga. John Whitney must've found it somewhere, somehow, and sent it back to the museum. For God's sake why wouldn't he give us warning?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
How big were those crates that John Whitney sent back?

Dr. Albert Frock:
Not very big.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Then how the hell did something like that fit inside one of them?

Margo Green:
In those crates that Whitney sent back, the artifact was packed with a leaf specimen that carried a parasitic fungus. The fungus was loaded with hormones - animal hormones - that are produced in the thalamoid region of the human brain.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
You mean the hypothalamus.

Margo Green:
I know this is crazy, but maybe this animal started out as something else - A chameleon, a lizard, or maybe even a dog. It ate those leaves, and is changing into whatever it is now... to what we just saw.

Dr. Albert Frock:
You're not crazy, Margo. Don't you see, girl? It's the callisto effect. It's really true. The Kothoga myth was based on fact. The people of the Zenzera tribe, when they were threatened by an enemy, they must have fed some of those hormonal leaves to some animal, and it caused a riot in its D.N.A., and it was transformed into some horrific beast. But the beast needed those hormones to stay alive, so when it was big enough and deadly enough, they stopped feeding it.

Dr. Albert Frock:
So it would have to find some other way to get the hormone.

Dr. Albert Frock:
They're enemies. Yes, and when the enemies were dead and it had no more hormones, it would eventually die, and the Zenzera would come out from hiding.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Well, we don't have time to wait for eventually, so here's my question, how the f*** do we kill that thing?

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