Gilmore Girls2000

Lorelai:
I mean... a lady friend

Lorelai:
A red hot mama

Lorelai:
A big pretty dish of loving with a spoon made especially for you

Luke:
Boy do I not feel good now.

Lorelai:
Luke, Rachel is not the only woman in the world for you. You'll meet someone, someday - probably at a Timberland store, and you'll ask her out.

Lorelai:
You'll pick her up, take her on a patented Luke Danes night of romance - juice bar followed by the batting cages - and then you'll ask her back to your apartment

Luke:
Any amount of money if you stop right there.

Lorelai:
You'll bring her back to your place , and lead her upstairs to the apartment door. You pause. Gaze into her eyes. The stage is set - fate is waiting!

Lorelai:
You open the door and she sees... your teeny tiny apartment, one room and no closet space, and Jess' feet sticking up in the air because you NEVER DID GET RID OF THE BODY!

Luke:
Stop please

Lorelai:
And to make matters worse... she spots it! The single bed!

Luke:
What's wrong with a single bed?

Lorelai:
You know what they say.

Luke:
No, what do they say?

Lorelai:
Never ever date a guy who owns a single bed... it means he's not open to a commitment.

Luke:
What?

Lorelai:
It says - there's no room in this life for anybody but me!

Luke:
No... it says there's no room in this BED for anybody but me!

Lorelai:
Well... ya see... that's not a whole lot better