American Dad!, Season 4

American Dad! is an animated U.S. television series created by Seth MacFarlane, Mike Barker and Matt Weitzman, broadcasted since 2005.

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[Stan and Francine enter their bedroom, after discovering that Steve has reached puberty]


Our worst nightmare.

The only thing worse than a child going through puberty is being the parent of a child going through puberty. Remember I had that bumper sticker on the car for a while? [sadly] Nobody honked.

[Francine starts going toward bed]

Hey, what are you doing?

[pulls out a suitcase and starts packing things in it] I can't do it, man. I'm leaving. I'm going to... I don't know. My mom's, my sister's... Hell! I'll even go back to prison. I don't care.

Look, maybe it won't be so bad. We got through Hayley's puberty.


[Flashback to a pubescent Hayley wearing a purple shirt and a white skirt. She is holding a box of tampons in her left hand and a tampon in her right hand. Francine and Smith are cowering in front of her and Stan is holding a fork]

Whaddaya mean, "Every month"?!

Honey, that's the glory of being a woman.

[throws the tampon at Stan and Francine] I'm not using these! [throws the box] I'm never using these! [proceeds to sit on the white couch]

Francine & Stan:
No! [she sits]

[Flashback to Hayley, a bit older]

Hayley (pointing to her small breasts):
This is as big as they're gonna GET?!

[Stan and Francine are in the same pose as earlier, crying in fear. Stan is holding a stapler, shooting staples towards Hayley]

[Flashback to Hayley, a bit older. She has a huge pimple on her left cheek and is crying]

I'm hideous!

[Stan and Francine are in the same pose again. Stan is holding a torch]

Honey, you can't even see it.

It's pretty.

[enters the room with a box of French fries and a soda] Wow, Hayley, your cheek's pregnant. Who's the father? Touching your face all day with your greasy hands?

[Hayley grabs Roger and hurls him through the window. She grabs Stan's torch and sets fire to the living room, screaming maniacally]

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