The Sopranos

The Sopranos is an American crime drama television series created by David Chase. The story revolves around fictional New Jersey-based, Italian American mobster Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini). The series portrays the difficulties that he faces as he tries to balance his home life and his criminal organization. These are explained during his therapy sessions with psychiatrist Jennifer Melfi (Lorraine Bracco). The series features Tony's family members, mafia colleagues, and rivals in prominent roles and story arcs, most notably his wife Carmela (Edie Falco) and protégé Christopher Moltisanti (Michael Imperioli). The pilot was ordered in 1997, and the show premiered on HBO in the United States on January 10, 1999. HBO ran the six seasons totalling 86 episodes until June 10, 2007. Broadcast syndication followed in the United States and internationally. The Sopranos was produced by HBO, Chase Films, and Brad Grey Television. It was primarily filmed at Silvercup Studios, New York City, and on location in New Jersey. The executive producers throughout the whole run were David Chase, Brad Grey, Robin Green, Mitchell Burgess, Ilene S. Landress, Terence Winter, and Matthew Weiner. The Sopranos is widely regarded as one of the greatest television series of all time. The series also won a multitude of awards, including Peabody Awards for its first two seasons, 21 Primetime Emmy Awards, and five Golden Globe Awards. It has been the subject of critical analysis, controversy, and parody, and it has spawned books, a video game, soundtrack albums, and assorted merchandise. Several members of the show's cast and crew were largely unknown to the public but have since had successful careers. In 2013, the Writers Guild of America named The Sopranos the best-written TV series of all time, while TV Guide ranked it the best television series of all time. In 2016, the series also ranked first in Rolling Stone's list of the 100 greatest TV shows of all time. In March 2018, New Line Cinema announced that they have purchased a film detailing the Sopranos background story, set in the 1960s during the Newark riots. Titled The Many Saints of Newark, it is written by David Chase and Lawrence Konner and will be directed by Alan Taylor.

Year:
1999
13,696 Views

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Phil has to understand that a punishment has been meted out, and what we are here for, in the end, is to provide, for our sons, our families, the future.

John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni:
He doesn't accept that. His family is smaller by one.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Then, my friend, it's up to you to make him accept that.

John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni:
Me, huh?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Let's talk, John, about the 500-pound elephant in the room, which is that you started this cycle of bloodshed when you whacked that girl Carmine used to f***.

John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni:
Lorraine Caluzzo was not a girl. And what kind of a person bangs his third cousin?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
What are you, the friggin' cardinal? Look, you want to shut down our joint construction projects, eat K-rations, fine. You want Phil to put one into one of my guys, well, that's gonna take you a long way from the rich f*** you always wanted to be.

John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni:
So, what do you suggest?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Whatever his legitimate sorrow is, he's got a price, he wants to provide for his family.

John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni:
And?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Meet his price, and I don't want to hear anything else about it.

John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni:
Oh, you don't?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
I paid enough, John, I paid a lot.

John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni:
Maybe I can sell it. Truth is, we had discussions. I gave him the sports book.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Yeah? Why didn't you mention it before, you cheap f***?

John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni:
Because I don't like it. He's gonna want a consiglieri, and who knows what...

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
All right, all right, let's not go backwards.

John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni:
Those people you run into who want to be the boss. They should know, huh?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
I told you, but you don't listen, you nut.

John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni:
It's nice, talking to you like that again.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
I'm still looking forward to working with you, John.

A.J. Soprano:
[Talking privately in their garage] What now?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
[Hands AJ a business card] Tomorrow 7am you go to this address and for a Mr. Gaveralo, I just got off the phone with him

A.J. Soprano:
Seven in the morning? For what?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
You'll be working construction

A.J. Soprano:
What?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Ferrying cement in a wheel barrow

A.J. Soprano:
So it's outdoors?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Yeah

A.J. Soprano:
But it's winter time

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
You got a lot of those hooded sweatshirts like those moulinyans wear you watch on MTV you can double up

A.J. Soprano:
Come on this is bullshit

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
[Tony puts his hand on AJ's shoulder and pulls face closer to his face] Every penny you make you keep, we won't charge you any rent and believe me the pay's good it's a union job, I just want to see you do good your my son and I love you

A.J. Soprano:
I'm going to have to leave your friend in a lurch when I go back to school

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
That's ok he deals with that all the time

A.J. Soprano:
I just assume to keep searching online

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
I'm sure you would, but if you're not at that site tomorrow morning, [AJ nods dismissively] I'm going to take away your car and then I'm going to take away your clothes I'm going to take away your room and then I'm going to take away your mother's cooking and pretty soon you'll be out in the f***ing street,

A.J. Soprano:
[Tony uses a football helmet and breaks the wind shield on AJ's SUV] What the hell are you doing?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
It might get a little drafty driving down there tomorrow but I will have this f***ing thing towed out of here and grounded up, look at it, you don't take care of it [Tony puts his hand back on AJ's shoulder] Don't put me to the test

Carmela Soprano:
[to AJ] So every time I asked you "how was work?" you say "fine", you were having your own private little joke on me.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
[Tony enters the room] what's going on?

Carmela Soprano:
I went to Blockbuster to rent Cinderella Man, but guess what?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Is it still a classic?

Carmela Soprano:
I found out our son, the liar, was fired three weeks ago

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
From Blockbuster? They have the worst managers over there.

Carmela Soprano:
He was taking promotional items and selling them, stand ups.

A.J. Soprano:
Standees, this whole thing is bullshit, most of that stuff gets thrown out anyway.

Carmela Soprano:
The store's policy was very clear

A.J. Soprano:
Yeah, well maybe I care about the environment did that ever occur to you? "'Wallace and Gromit" that weighed like fifty pounds, how many trees gave their lives for that? It just goes to the dump.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Can I come to a peaceful house one God damn night?

A.J. Soprano:
You always tell me to think like a business man, yet every time I do there's something wrong, I was making money throwing parties in high school that was no good.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
You know what I think, all those days you call in sick, you show up late, you deserve to get canned

Carmela Soprano:
The worst part is: you don't even give a shit

A.J. Soprano:
I should give a shit about Blockbuster? I can't live on what they pay me anyway.

Carmela Soprano:
Why not? You live at home, we feed you.

A.J. Soprano:
You have a social life but I can't, you have any idea what it costs at a descent club in New York? It's five hundred dollars for a bottle of Cristal, and it's a two bottle minimum.

Carmela Soprano:
You spend a thousand dollars a night on champagne?

A.J. Soprano:
[Lying] no, not every night, barely ever

Meadow Soprano:
Are you in the Mafia?

Tony Soprano:
Am I in the what?

Meadow Soprano:
Whatever you want to call it. Organized crime.

Tony Soprano:
That's total crap, who told you that?

Meadow Soprano:
Dad, I've lived in the house all my life. I've seen the police come with warrants. I've seen you going out at three in the morning.

Tony Soprano:
So you never seen Doc Cusamano going out at three in the morning on a call?

Meadow Soprano:
Did the Cusamano kids ever find $50,000 in krugerrandts and a .45 automatic while they were hunting for Easter eggs?

Tony Soprano:
I'm in the waste management business. Everybody immediately assumes you're mobbed up. It's a stereotype. And it's offensive. And you're the last person I would want to perpetuate it... There is no Mafia.

Meadow Soprano:
Fine.

Tony Soprano:
Alright look, Mead, you're a grown woman, almost. Some of my money comes from illegal gambling and whatnot. How does that make you feel?

Meadow Soprano:
At least you don't keep denying it, like Mom. Kids in school think it's actually kinda neat.

Tony Soprano:
They seen "The Godfather", right?

Meadow Soprano:
Not really. "Casino" we like, Sharon Stone, the 70's clothes, pills...

Tony Soprano:
I'm not asking about those bums. I'm asking about you.

Meadow Soprano:
Sometimes I wish you were like other dads. But then, like... Mr. Scangarelo for example? An advertising executive for big tobacco. Or lawyers? So many dads are full of shit.

Tony Soprano:
Oh, and I'm not.

Meadow Soprano:
You finally told the truth about this.

Tony Soprano:
Look, Mead, part of my income comes from legitimate businesses, stock market...

Meadow Soprano:
Look, Dad, please, okay? Don't start mealy-mouthing.

Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.:
[In little Carmine's living room] As you all know, Phil asked me to arrange this meeting after the fire in the Wire Room

Phil Leotardo:
Correction, you asked me to attend and I agreed

Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.:
Fair enough, I'm not going to call this a "sit-down" because of the negative implications, let's think of it as "a meeting of minds". So, for whatever reasons, certain incidents have expired lately. In addition to being dangerous, could have an adverse impact on our businesses bottom line.

Phil Leotardo:
I know Vito's bottom was "impacted" if that's what you're referring to

Tony Soprano:
Call him what you will, but you're talking about one of my captains

Phil Leotardo:
Captain? "The Ship Lollipop" right?

Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.:
Phil, please

Phil Leotardo:
Please my ass, the man was a f***ing disgrace

Tony Soprano:
Before he came out of the closet he worked for me and put a lot of paper in my pocket, yours too

Phil Leotardo:
Talk about earners? How about "Fat Dom" Gamiello?

Silvio Dante:
What about him?

Tony Soprano:
So what f*** would I know about that?

Phil Leotardo:
As coincidence would have it, he was last seen in New Jersey

Tony Soprano:
So was the Hindenburg, maybe you should look into that too

Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.:
Tony, Phil, please we're going off point. Remember, I grew up in all of this and I just lost my friend Rusty and if there's one thing my father taught me was this: "a pint of blood is worth more than a gallon of milk". My business, all of our businesses... this fighting is costing money.

Tony Soprano:
I'm willingly to move forward, let the past be bygone

Phil Leotardo:
Fine with me.

Carlo Gervasi:
[Asking Finn what he saw Vito was doing with the security guard] ,"catching" not "pitching"?

Finn Detrolio:
[Nods] his not going to know I told you?

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
You're going to have no problem from Vito, believe me

Finn Detrolio:
[Nervously] what are you going to do?

Christopher Moltisanti:
It'll be ok, we'll get him into therapy

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
[Giving Finn money] why don't you go out front get yourself a sandwich and a soda, any kind you like when we're done here somebody will drive you back [Finn takes the money and leaves]

Christopher Moltisanti:
[laughing] I want to kill the fat fagot myself it'd be a f***ing honor cut off his pishadeel and feed it to him

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
[to everybody] there's no mistake now

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
[Yelling] I can't believe I stuck up for him I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart

Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri:
We can't have him in our social club anymore that much I do know

Carlo Gervasi:
"Social club"? He's got to go

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
I want to think about it

Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri:
I don't know

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
[Stands up yelling] what the f*** is there to think about?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
[to paulie] sit down

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
[Yelling] f*** that I'll say it again, what the f*** is there to think about?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
[Yelling] are you going to take care of his kids? When his gone?

Christopher Moltisanti:
That's true, they didn't do anything poor little guys

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
[to tony] I'm sorry if I yelled it's just how much betrayal can I take?

Christopher Moltisanti:
Vito a fag, big construction tycoon, when he was always talking about "greasing the union who knew that's what he meant?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
[to everybody] this stays in these four walls

Carmela Soprano:
[to Meadow] See you Thursday

Meadow Soprano:
[to Tony] Hi

Tony Soprano:
[to Meadow] Where you going I just got here

Meadow Soprano:
I'm really late meeting Patrick in the city,

Carmela Soprano:
She smelled that odor too

Tony Soprano:
your remodeling will fix all that

Carmela Soprano:
Maybe it's toxic maybe we shouldn't be breathing it

Tony Soprano:
It's not toxic, the odor is what? 90 years old? Its piss

Carmela Soprano:
I've got to get home

Tony Soprano:
I'm working on it

Carmela Soprano:
I went to see Sil and Gab,oh my God

Tony Soprano:
Yeah

Carmela Soprano:
[Watching walk AJ walk Rhiannon to the door] Are you being careful? This kind of bothers me

Tony Soprano:
What's she going to do? She should use the back door, wouldn't kick her out of bed for purging cookies

Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.:
Real funny, we're just friends

Tony Soprano:
I know, nice work

Carmela Soprano:
She's a model

Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.:
She's doing some modeling, she's a junior in high school

Carmela Soprano:
What?

Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.:
She's quitting modeling anyway she's tired of being exploited

Tony Soprano:
Did you help your mother take the carpets outside? Put them in the sun?

Carmela Soprano:
He did

Tony Soprano:
Uncle Bobby's funeral is finally set, Thursday we're going to be there

Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.:
How's that supposed to work? We're all in DEFCON 4, living in separate houses, we're going to stand out in the open at a cemetery?

Carmela Soprano:
There's always a large FBI presence

George Pagilieri:
[FBI wiretap recording] Cafe Napoli

Tony Soprano:
George, its Anthony

George Pagilieri:
Your f***ing ears must be ringing I just left your friend, the son crying the blues over the situation between you and that outfit over there

Tony Soprano:
That's why I'm calling I need you to reach out to the "little guy"

George Pagilieri:
His not happy with Phil neither

Tony Soprano:
I know, you're not a part of that family, your basically retired, everybody trusts you, what I'm thinking you supply a location, guarantee everybody's safety

George Pagilieri:
I could do that

[At a secret sit down meeting]

George Pagilieri:
Anybody want a water? The guys are already here, they've been patted down too

Butch DeConcini:
We started it? We got a dead comare in Queens and her old Ukrainian father

Tony Soprano:
I'm not even going to blame Phil, John Sacrimoni my friend I'm sorry to say was an insecure guy, he created a constant tension within his family which spilled over, go ahead Carmine George was good enough to broker this meeting for us? You just going to sit there?

Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.:
It didn't have to be this way

Butch DeConcini:
We agree it's got too far, Phil's changed, you got my word we'll back off

Tony Soprano:
My price is you help us get a location on Phil

Butch DeConcini:
I can't go there, but you do what you gotta do

Tony Soprano:
One more thing, you hit my brother in law

Butch DeConcini:
So?

Tony Soprano:
This is my sister we're talking about, she's got to see something out of this

Butch DeConcini:
We'll come up with a number? [They all shake hands and leave]

Donna Parisi:
A man took his horse to a vet and the vet says to him, "Why do you have a long face?"

Patsy Parisi:
The horse asks, there's no vet.

Donna Parisi:
Right, a horse goes to a vet and the vet looks at his face and says to him, "My friend."

Patsy Parisi:
A horse goes to the doctor, the doctor asks, "Why the long face?" She can't tell jokes

Tony Soprano:
Speaking of jokers, where's that other son of yours today?

Donna Parisi:
I didn't think he was invited.

Carmela Soprano:
I just think with all the wedding talk.

Tony Soprano:
That pal of his, the other Jason I heard he ran into some trouble, Carlo's Jason.

Donna Parisi:
He's a mess.

Patsy Parisi:
Alright.

Tony Soprano:
Well, he's got no shortage of lawyers here, only this one here would only take the case for free. [referring to Meadow]

Patrick Parisi:
That's why we want her there at Groupman, Groupman and Kerseyo, actually Med and I had some conversations and we may still snag her at the firm when she's done with law school.

Carmela Soprano:
No kidding?

Meadow Soprano:
We went out to dinner Steven Groupman and the subject came up.

Patrick Parisi:
Steven was very impressed with her work at the Law Center, even got into starting salaries, he was talking one seventy.

Tony Soprano:
Jesus, sweetheart that's fantastic.

Meadow Soprano:
He hadn't had too much to drink.

Patrick Parisi:
Don't devalue yourself, we've got a really interesting case right now we're defending James Trofolio the County Commissioner and those corruption charges.

Donna Parisi:
[to Patrick] is that your case?

Patrick Parisi:
He's got bag men, whores it's fascinating.

Walden Belfiore:
[Paulie walks into the room and sees the cat staring at the photo of Christopher] yeah, he does that all the time, sometimes he spends most of the day just staring at his picture you know their funny that way, I had an aunt her cat would only sit at exact corners of the table staring out or the intersection of two walls staring in

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
The f***? This animal is history today, pick him up

Walden Belfiore:
You pick him up

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
[Tony enters the room] T, you see this shit? [Referring to the cat] he says he does it all time

Tony Soprano:
[Referring to the cat] Oh yeah? Leave him, his a good guy

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
Look at him staring at that dead kid, it gives me the f***ing creeps

Tony Soprano:
[to Walden] give us some privacy

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
[to Walden] what the f*** kind of name is that for an Italian?

Walden Belfiore:
I was named after Mr. Bobby Darin, Walden Robert Cassotto [Walden picks up the cat and leaves]

Tony Soprano:
The Cifaretto crew, it's like a Chinese fire drill over there, especially now Carlo's absent

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
I know

Tony Soprano:
I want you to skipper that thing

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
Really?

Tony Soprano:
F***ing thing is like one big ATM machine, it's all in construction with New York, it falls right into your kick

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
Yeah

Tony Soprano:
Jesus Christ I thought you'd be pleased I didn't just hand you a diagnosis of the clap

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
With all due respect I'd just like to mellow it a little

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
[Turning down Tony's offer of a promotion] with all due respect and I mean that from the bottom of my heart I'm going to pass

Tony Soprano:
I don't f***ing believe this, why?

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
Every guy that ran that crew died prematurely

Tony Soprano:
Oh come on

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
I beat cancer once you got no idea what that does to you

Tony Soprano:
Yeah I know

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
Richie Aprile, Ralphie, M.I.A, Vito and who knows with Carlo and Gigi

Tony Soprano:
Gigi died taking a shit

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
Doesn't mean it's not part of an overall pattern

Tony Soprano:
You're going to die yourself you should leave a "package" to leave your niece who has MS, it's like your bullshit with the cat the f***ing animal catches mice for us and you'd drown it

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
I would

Tony Soprano:
His not looking at Christopher a rat died back in the wall or some shit

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
I moved the picture, the f***ing thing came to the new spot and stared

Tony Soprano:
The abstract shapes or something, I'll tell you this, since Christopher's death my gambling luck's turned a one eighty

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
Oh, it's fine for you to believe that shit but I can't worry about a jinx? I tell you something from my heart and you laugh it off?

Tony Soprano:
I'm not saying there's nothing out there for you but not live your life? What are you going to do? Alright you don't want the job? Then you don't want the job I could put Patsy in there his going to be a part of my family now, it'll be good

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
Prick, you always know what to say to me don't you?

Tony Soprano:
I'm serious

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri:
I live but to serve you my liege

Tony Soprano:
[Referring to Paulie] you should've seen him out there, he could handle himself his got the balls of twenty year old, his my friend but can't stop, his such s bladder mouth, he asks me not tell anyone about his prostate I say "sure" then he tells everybody

Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta:
He was always like that, You forgot, one time I fell asleep while he was on the phone, I wake up twenty minutes later and he was still going

Tony Soprano:
I've got to say, it concerns me lately

Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta:
People live alone and they get like that it's sad

Tony Soprano:
[Referring to Beanie's wife] you married a good woman the way she stood by you?

Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta:
That's what Paulie doesn't have and I'm speaking to your point, his got no wife and no kids

Tony Soprano:
His got so steady income stream either, except for Barone which is coming to an end, I told him if you can't legitimate income your vulnerable to the Feds he don't do shit about it

Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta:
I think you're worrying for nothing

Tony Soprano:
Things are going great finally, maybe I'm just waiting "for the other shoe to drop"

Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta:
All I know is Paulie Gualtieri is a standup guy

Tony Soprano:
Has he been ever to the test? He had this painting in his house, I was all dressed up as a general

Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta:
[laughing] I heard about that

Tony Soprano:
It pissed me off I thought it was a f***ing joke but now I don't think it was

Peter 'Beansie' Gaeta:
He loves Tony, your all his got, you, the guys, and his image

Tony Soprano:
I love him too

Phil Leotardo:
Historically, Carmine always said the Sopranos are nothing more than a glorified crew. Plain and simple. We decapitate and we do business with whatever's left. [to Albie] What?

Albie Cianflone:
Nothin'. I agree in spirit but I gotta counsel.

Phil Leotardo:
This thing shoulda been done during John's era.

Butch DeConcini:
They got redundant upper management, bleeds off half the kick. We take 'em out, absorb the whole f***in' thing.

Albie Cianflone:
Take out an entire f***in' family?

Phil Leotardo:
Let me tell ya a couple of three things: Forget Coco, forget Fat Dom who goes over to Jersey and never comes back, forget my brother Billy.

Albie Cianflone:
Phil, Phil, that's not what I'm sayin' at all.

Phil Leotardo:
Anthony Soprano has no respect for this thing. He's never been in the can, not really. Here's a guy who stepped over his own uncle to grab the big seat, his father's brother.

Albie Cianflone:
Please, huh?

Phil Leotardo:
I'm embarrassed. I let him come to the hospital last Christmas, and I took his fat, f***in' hand in friendship.

Albie Cianflone:
Philly, ya had a heart attack.

Phil Leotardo:
Listen to me. They make anybody and everybody over there. And the way that they do it, it's all f***ed up. Guys don't get their finger pricked. There's no sword and gun on the table...

Albie Cianflone:
Phil...

Phil Leotardo:
No, Alb, either it has meaning or no meaning. And the Vito thing, the man harbors a faggot.

Albie Cianflone:
It's true.

Phil Leotardo:
Five f***in' Families and we got this other pygmy thing over in Jersey... There's no scraps in my scrapbook... Make it happen.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
That Departures magazine out there. Did you give any thought at all to someone else who might wanna read before you tore out the entire page?

Tony Soprano:
What?

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
It's not the first time you've defaced my reading materials.

Tony Soprano:
You saw that, huh? People tear shit outta your magazines all the time, they're a mess. I try to read 'em.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
I don't think I can help you.

Tony Soprano:
Well, change 'em. Bring in some new shit.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
I mean therapeutically.

Tony Soprano:
What are you talkin' about? I've only missed three appointments since we had that heart-to-heart.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
The new big thing these days is called psychodynamic therapy combined with Anafranil.

Tony Soprano:
Who?

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
A medication. There's a doctor in Bloomfield you could see.

Tony Soprano:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, OK? Now what the f*** is this? You're, uh, firin' me 'cause I defaced your Departures magazine.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
I'm giving you my considered medical opinion.

Tony Soprano:
OK, I should've asked you for the steak recipe. And missin' sessions, unfortunately, is part of my condition.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
What do you know about your condition? You miss appointments because you don't give a shit. About commitments, about what I do, about the body of work that's gone into building up this science!... Go ahead, tell me again I sound like your wife.

Tony Soprano:
Well, if the shoe fits. [Dr. Melfi stands up] We're making progress! It's been seven years!

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
Do you want some names?

Tony Soprano:
[stands up] OK, listen, I'm gonna tell you somethin' and you're not gonna like it. But we can say anything in here, right?

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
Go ahead!

Tony Soprano:
I'm chalkin' this all up to female menopausal situations.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
You're not my gynecologist.

Tony Soprano:
Well, you don't need a gynecologist to know which way the wind blows. [Dr. Melfi opens the door] So, wait a minute. You tellin' me after all this time, after everything we've shared in here, you're cuttin' me loose just as my son got outta the hospital for tryin' to kill himself?

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
Since you are in crisis, I don't wanna waste your time.

Tony Soprano:
You know, I gotta be f***in' honest. As a doctor, I think what you're doin' is immoral.

[Tony walks out to the waiting room. He exaggeratedly places the page back in the magazine, looks at Dr. Melfi angrily and leaves. She closes the door]

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
[after Christopher is harshly beaten] Does it hurt?

Christopher Moltisanti:
They gave me some aspirin.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Well enjoy it, cause it's the last f***ing drug you're ever gonna take.

Christopher Moltisanti:
I'm sorry, T.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Shut the f*** up and listen to me. You're my nephew, Christopher, and I love you. And that's the only reason you're alive right now. If it had been anybody else, anybody, they would have had that f***in' intervention right through the back of their head. You and me, we're close. We've done a lot of things for eachother.

Christopher Moltisanti:
A cop shot my father. I know what you're telling me. I'll never forget that.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
And this is how you repay me. I gotta worry if you're gonna flip over a nickel bag of white powder!

Christopher Moltisanti:
No, Tony, never.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
You lied to me. I told you you were the future of this family, I gave you that responsibilty and you looked me in the eye and you accepted it, and you were f***ing high!

Christopher Moltisanti:
[tearfully] Tony...

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Shut up. Tomorrow you're gonna go with Patsy up to this rehab place in Pennsylvania. You're going in, you're staying in, you're gonna do every f***ing session and you're gonna keep your mouth shut. Now if you need anything. Anything at all, Patsy's gonna be half a mile away from you in a motel. Do you understand what I'm saying? Do you?

Christopher Moltisanti:
[crying] Tony, I'm sorry! How'd I f***ing get to this?

Junior Soprano:
[During a sit down meeting over the speakerphone] Ralph insulted John's wife?

Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni:
That's correct

Junior Soprano:
What did he do exactly?

Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni:
He made a very hurtful remark that's not worth repeating

Silvio Dante:
Let's point out too it's only been "alleged" on what he said

Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni:
He "allegedly" said what he said to a group of people: "friends of ours"

Junior Soprano:
If you weren't there how do you know it's true?

Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni:
I'm not at liberty to say

Tony Soprano:
With all due respect but this is bullshit somebody in my family is talking out of school and you don't have the liberty to who? I should be making the beef here

Junior Soprano:
My nephew's right

Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni:
I want to average her honor, this is my right to do

Tony Soprano:
Alright fine you bring in here who ever told you, if he collaborates with what you're saying I'll give you ralph on a platter

Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni:
Is nothing scared? What happened to this thing? If this was years ago would I even have to ask? We bend more rules than the Catholic Church

Tony Soprano:
Let's just say for the of argument ralph said what he said is clipping him going to un-ring that bell?

Carmine Lupertazzi:
Nobody's getting clipped

Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni:
I want satisfaction

Silvio Dante:
Will you accept an apology?

Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni:
That ship that has sailed

Carmine Lupertazzi:
Your being unreasonable John

Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni:
Ralph's the only one who can handle the Esplanade? Put the other guy in

Carmine Lupertazzi:
There's millions of dollars are at stake

Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni:
Again with the money?

Carmine Lupertazzi:
Yeah, again with the money, it's settled name a price or the f*** over it [John leaves]

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
[has invited Dr. Melfi to go to Bermuda with him] Come on, Doc. I'm breaking out the big guns here. You're turning me into half a stalker.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
Listen, Anthony. I'm not going to go out with you, and it's not because you're unattractive or I don't think I would have a good time. It's just something I'm not going to do. I would like you to respect my decision, and just try to feel that I know what's right for me. Okay?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
It's not just the doctor-patient ethics thing, is it?

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
I want to preserve the option for you that you could always come back to our work, if you wish, and that we could pick up where we've left off.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
[frustrated] I don't think you get this. I want you!

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
That's very flattering to me.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
I'm not interested in flattering you.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
I know you're not.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Alright, then what is it? Just help me understand it.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
You know, Anthony, during our work I never judged you, or your behavior. It's not the place of a therapist to do so.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Alright, I get all this. Go, go.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
In a personal relationship, I don't think I could sit silent.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
[amused] About what?

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
Our values are... just very different.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
You don't like my values.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
Honestly?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Yeah.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
No.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
[admiring her bluntness] OK. Like what?

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
It's getting late.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
No, no. Come on. It's okay.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
Well... you're not a truthful person. You're not respectful of women. You're not really respectful of people.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
I don't love people?

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
Maybe you love them, I don't know. You take what you want from them by force, or the threat of force. I couldn't live like that. I couldn't bear witness to violence...

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
F*** YOU! [storms out] You f***ing cunt!

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
To what do I owe this pleasure?

Carmela Soprano:
I don't know if you'll see it that way I asked you to lunch to tell you I'm filing for divorce

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
That's nice, you invite me to a public place so you can ambush me? So you think I won't make a scene?

Carmela Soprano:
Spare me your outrage accept the fact that I'm moving on with my life

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Moving on? That's what you were doing after the party last week?

Carmela Soprano:
You and I both know that didn't change anything

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
First of all we're Italian, we don't believe in divorce, we believe in the nuclear family

Carmela Soprano:
Despite your best efforts I have attorney who is going to aggressively pursue my custody of AJ and an equitable distribution of our assets

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
Our assets?

Carmela Soprano:
I am through in trying to get you to provide beyond the minimum for me to live

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
So it's all f***ing money? That's all this is to you?

Carmela Soprano:
After all we've been through is it so hard to own up to that bullshit tax return?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
You want money? What about the forty grand you stole from the bird feeder? You're such an investment genius

Carmela Soprano:
You want this to get ugly? Because these guys live for that

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.:
And you think I don't? The only reason you have anything is because of my f***ing sweat you knew every step of the way where the money comes from, you walk around in that mansion in your five hundred dollar shoes and diamond rings and you act like butter wouldn't melt in your mouth, you don't want it to get ugly? Too late

Carmela Soprano:
I want what I'm entitled to

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