Timothyj.29104's Quotes

Benji: What are you doing?

Dustin Diamond: Trying to kill myself.

Audience: [laughter]

Troy: Judging by his bowling game, I don't blame him. [Waa - Waa sound effect]

Gary Bunda: Seriously, though, you can't kill yourself. We've all tried thousands of times.

Dustin Diamond: Are you serious?

Gary Bunda: [deadpan] Tens of thousand of times.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: I want a catch phrase.

Dustin Diamond: RAZZLEBERRIES!

Gary Bunda: BOOB FARTS!

Dustin Diamond: RAZZLEBERRIES!

Gary Bunda: BOOB FARTS!

Dustin Diamond: Oh, bullsh*t! RAZZLEBERRIES!

Gary Bunda: BOOB FARTS!

Dustin Diamond: COME ON!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Dustin Diamond: RAZZLEBERRIES! Why the hell did I just say that? Oh, "Razzleberries" better not be my catch phrase. RAZZLEBERRIES! Oh, come on, I'm being forced to say it! RAZZLEBERRIES! HOW IS THIS FAIR?! RAZZLEBERRIES! I can't even breath!

[back at Satan's office where Satan and Claude are watching Dustin's hilarious quote]

Satan: See, that -- That's gonna be the next "Dyno-mite." you know?

Claude: What is that?

Satan: Well, that's a -- That's a catch phrase, Claude. You know, like, "Hey, sit on it, Potsie." "Nanu nanu"? "Dee plane, dee plane"? "Jane, you ignorant slut, you"? Uh, "Yeah, that's the ticket"? Uh, "No soup for you"?

Claude: I don't get any of those references.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Claude: Wow, A hacky sitcom star being forced to star in a hacky sitcom in Hell for all of eternity? Pretty genius, sir.

Satan: Hacky?

Claude: I-Uh, no, it's funny, funny.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Dustin Diamond: Um, why is it snowing inside the house?

Sitcom Mother: Honey, remember when you said, "It'll be a cold day in Hell" before you let anyone touch your prize bowling ball?

Dustin Diamond: I've never said that.

Sitcom Mother: Get in here, Levi!

Levi: Papa, it's stuck. [Levi shows Dustin that his penis is stuck in one of the bowling ball holes]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Okay, listen. Don't freak out. You're in Hell.

Dustin Diamond: What?

Gary Bunda: Yeah.

Dustin Diamond: Why?

Gary Bunda: For a lot of reasons that I think that you know.

Audience: [laughter]

Gary Bunda: Satan's a huge fan, though, and he wants you to reprise your most popular role as loveable goofball, Squeak.

Dustin Diamond: You are aware that it's Screech, though, right?

Gary Bunda: Listen to me, alright. It's Squeak, because Satan thinks that it's Squeak, so it's Squeak from now on, alright? I never want to hear the word "Screech" ever again.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Dustin Diamond: Hey, what the [bleep] is going on here? Why can't I say [bleep]?

Gary Bunda: It's network standards. Ain't it a [silly bleep cartoon sound effects]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Prisoner: Yo, Sheik. Shriek. Shrek [laughing]

Dustin Diamond: It's Dustin Diamond, man.

Prisoner: I'm bored, Squeak. Hey, why don't you squeak out one of them funny TV jokes like you used to do back in the day, Squeak?

Dustin Diamond: Alright, I got a funny joke for you. I get out tomorrow, and you've got six more years for selling weed. [chuckles]

Prisoner: [scoffs] You're not gonna get saved by the bell this time, Squeak.

[Prisoner stabs Dustin Diamond brutally a dozen times]

Dustin Diamond: [weak] It's Screech.

Prisoner: Go to hell!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

News Reporter Man on TV: Baptist church officials has organized a book barbecue to deal with the offensive mysterious flesh books.

Preacher on TV: And if you've got any rap CDs that talks about butts or copies of Judy Blume's "Superfudge," we'll burn those for you as well.

Claude (as Maid): We just wasted our time. Help me make the bed.

Eddie (as Maid #2): My god! Gary's in one of those books!

[knocking continues]

Eddie (as Maid #2): STOP KNOCKING! WE'RE STILL CLEANING!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Saul: Who's that old guy?

Kortoz: That's Luas, the wise one. Luas is the reason why we spin. We spin to commune with Luas.

Saul: Well, I got a few questions I'd like to ask someone like that. Can I talk to him?

Kortoz: No. [laughter] It takes years of spinning to make that level, bro. None of us have even met him, much less a newbie like you.

Saul: But I --

Kortoz: [normal voice] No, dude. No, it's not gonna happen.

[Saul spins with all his might, which actually made him to move upwards more than ever]

Blaze Child #2: No way! He's ascending.

Kortoz: Grab his ankle. Grab his ankle!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: What would John Henry do?

John Henry Thought Bubble: Free your ass, and your mind will follow.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Kortoz: Welcome, my brother.

Saul: What the hell are you?

Kortoz: Well, they call me Kortoz, but we don't need to get into all those labels and names, man. It's so ego-y?

Saul: Ego-y?

Kortoz: Crass notions like ego, they'll be left in the digital dust as we spin towards pure energy. Won't you join us?

Saul: What are you, nuts?

Denise: He's resisting.

Blaze Child: He's too uptight.

Kortoz: Perhaps you're right. This dude is too immature.

Denise: But we can't give up on him.

Kortoz: [normal voice] I said he's not ready. Denise?

[Denise feels sorry for herself]

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

STRATA Operator #2: [gasping] Air thin. Pressure...crushing.

STRATA Operator #1: Would you stop saying that already? You're wasting oxygen.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Hallucination John Henry: You've go to look your weakness in the eye and stare it down.

Saul: [gasps] Oh, my god!

[Saul sees his weakness as a disgusted face made of green mush]

Saul: No, I can't look at it. It's too painful.

Hallucination John Henry: But you must.

Saul: No, I'm afraid.

Hallucination John Henry: That's just it, Saul. You've always been afraid. Afraid of people. You try to preempt their condemnation by judging them first. Thusly, you've become another victim of A.N.S. -- Arrogant Nerd Syndrome!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

STRATA Operator #2: You saved our life, and the drillship floats. How did you know?

STRATA Operator #1: I-I didn't know. I was in a euphoric state because I'd taken the life of a man with my bare hands. But now that you mention it, I don't think it does float.

[the drillship shakes rapidly while drowning]

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

John Henry: Saul, I want you to have something to remember me by.

[John unbutton his overalls]

John Henry: Now reach over here and grab it. Get over here! This ain't no sex thing!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Captain: Ship is sinking. We have to Jettison Cargo.

STRATA Operator #1: [finds a Johnny Tambourine box doll] What about this crap?

Captain: Ah, that's not crap. That Johnny Tambourine merchandise. This giant drillship -- That crap.

STRATA Operator #1: Over my dead --

[Captain tries to shoot STRATA Operator #1]

Captain: Damn! Moved like cat.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

John Henry: Saul Malone, I'd make a wish and blow out the candle, but it's the only flame, and there ain't any more matches.

Saul: Now, don't tell me I can't buy you things. I make my own damn money --

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

[STRATA Operator #1 and 2, and the Captain went into the storm]

Captain: You say you want to go to hell?! Here you are!

STRATA Operator #1: Nobody said we wanted to go to hell!

STRATA Operator #2: Aaaah! Why do they call it "Remains Of the Day"?

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?!

John Henry: What am I? Not sure I even know anymore. But I think they used to call me Henry -- John Henry.

Saul: The steel-driving man? But wait. John Henry died battling a mighty steam engine...in a digging contest...with a hammer in his hand!

John Henry: That's a damn lie! I ain't never died. And that old iron bitch has never quit.

John Henry: Man versus Machine. Piston vs Muscle. We done fought so long, we done forgot what we're fighting for. We done fought so long, we don't know where one ended and the other begun!

[John Henry reveals to himself that has a steel armed tool in one of his arms]

Saul: AAAAAAAH!

John Henry: Yell like you never yelled before! But one thing is for sure, boy! You with me now! And you always will be!

[Saul still continues to scream like a maniac]

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

STRATA Operator #2: Captain, we must get this drillship to Indochina now.

Captain: We sail directly into storm. Make better time. And from there, to hell, boys. To hell. [laughs evilly]

Captain: So, anybody want to watch a video?

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: If I have one regret, it's the solitary, friendless, lonely life I've led...and the choices I've made. I guess that's two things.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: All your drunken digging has made the entire wall unstable. We need to rope off this entire --

[Saul gets stuck inside the hole due to an random earthquake]

Bertrum: BLAH!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Bertrum: This is no time for taking a load off. You are the supervising geologist on Project Thunder Hole. You signed a contract. Did you think that was the extent of your duties?

Saul: You said once you had my signature, you'd have no further use for me!

Bertrum: Eh, colorful expression.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: You know, Lil, I have real feelings for Fallopia. But ever since I caught her and Johnny Tambourine in Flagrante Delicto, I --

Lil: [grunting]

Saul: I'm sorry -- Too much adult talk? Good idea -- Walk it off.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Satan: So, tricking a devout Christian girl into touching a goat's dick is not a sin, but "You shall not print or tattoo any marks upon you," [makes a moustache taunt] "guvna." [laughs]

Gary Bunda: Coming up Gary! I'm gonna go see about a girl. Jenny? Jenny? Jenny?

[the girl who actually met Gary revealed to be Hammerman instead when he came to Hammer's workplace]

Hammerman: 'Ello, governer.

Gary Bunda: ROBOTS DON'T HAVE SOULS!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: I was up there working, Claude. I wasn't trying to break off a piece inside Dr. Nickgibbion.

Claude: At least I don't get off on watching my girlfriend jerk off a goat.

Gary Bunda: I was trying to get her to commit sodomy so that she could be down here with me.

Claude: Why didn't you just have her give you a blow job?

Gary Bunda: "Blow job"? Since when is blow jobs a sin?

[Claude gives him the pocket worthy of sins to show Gary that blowjobs count]

Gary Bunda: Even if you're married?

Claude: Big time.

Gary Bunda: That sucks!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Hammerman murders Jenny]

Gary Bunda: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Hammerman: My boyfriend was cheating on me, so I am trying to lose myself in my work.

Gary Bunda: Jenny, don't you die on me! You touch this goat penis first!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Jenny: I didn't think anyone would ever love me looking like this.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): I didn't think anyone could love me looking like this.

[Gary accidentally took off his disguise revealing his true self to what Jenny said]

Jenny: [screams] OH, NO! DEMON! [while making religious cross hand signals]

Gary Bunda: No, no, no, no, no!

Jenny: OH, GOOD LORD! OHH!

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): [puts back his disguise] I'm still hot. I'm still hot, see? It's just a hallucination brought on by your brain cancer or some dumb sh*t.

Jenny: Actually, it's ovarian.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Jenny: You brought a goat all the way up here?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): Uh, yeah. I love fresh goat's milk straight from the teat. And I love milking it. You should try it. I'm a guide your hand so you can milk him.

Jenny: Oh, "Him"?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): I'm sorry. It's a her.

Jenny: Oh.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): It's just big for a lady.

[Gary teaches Jenny to learn how to milk a goat]

Jenny: Ooh, uh, this feels weird. Why hasn't any milk come out yet?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): It sometimes takes up to 45 minutes or so.

Jenny: Oh. Oh.

[Gary teaches Jenny to learn how to milk a goat]

Jenny: Ooh, uh, this feels weird. Why hasn't any milk come out yet?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): You just got to -- You can switch hands.

Jenny: Okay, yeah, my hand is gonna get pretty tired.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): Kiss me while you're milking the goat. [Gary and Jenny kisses each other] Oh yeah, just keep milking it.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Hambrosia: If I'm gonna go on a compassion spree, I'll need to use time wisely!

[Hambrosia breaks the hourglass snorting the sand into one of her nostrils to slow time to kill people before Meemaw dies]

– The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

[Hammerman heard giggling in the other room and thought Dr. Paul Nickgibbion is cheating from him]

Hammerman: I cooked the cutlets just how you like, but I suppose you two are more interested in suckling each others' fleshy genitalia.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: Hammerman, it's not like that. It's not what you think.

Claude: We wanted to bring you in on this. Who's up for a threesome? Show of hands.

[Hammerman raise his hands for excitement]

Claude: Raise your hands high if you want to have sex with me and the doctor.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: [to Claude] You... [chuckles]

Claude: [to Hammerman] Do I... [seducing the robot] turn you on, Hammerman? Or do I turn you...off!

[Hammerman grabs Claude's arm by force]

Claude: Owww! NO, ST-O-OP!

Hammerman: You home-wrecking bitch.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: No! You stop that now.

[Hammerman lets go of Claude's arm]

Hammerman: I hope you have a great life together.

[Hammerman leaves]

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: Where are you going? No, no, not the wall! Not the wall!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Claude: We need to figure out how to stop your robot from murdering.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: That's his whole identity. Okay, listen -- I'm already planning to break up with him.

Claude: I --

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: If he loses his job, too, he's gonna have nothing left.

Claude: Just tell me how to shut him off.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: His off-switch is under his left armpit. Yeah, just, uh, there. [Dr. Nickgibbion touches Claude's armpit] Whoo! Tickle! Tickle!

Claude: What are you -- Stop it!

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: Tickle, tickle, tickle!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Jenny: I was really hoping that we would swim with the dolphins today, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): Grab a spoon, come on. Let's be gluttonous. And then, we can call your parents up and tell them to go f*** themselves. [reads his pocket guide] Yeah, we'll "disrespect thy mother and father."

[Jenny sees Gary's pocket guide of sins and grabs it]

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): What are you do -- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not --

Jenny: Leviticus list of sins? Gary, you know I'm a Baptist. I-I don't want to do anything on this list.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): You're right. What am I doing? I'm being selfish. W-What do you want to do?

Jenny: I have always wanted to get an old-timey mustache on my finger -- You know, so in photos I can be like "Ello, guvna" --

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): Let's do that.

Jenny: ...and then maybe go to a butterfly farm.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): They have those?

Jenny: Oh! We could go ride a roller coaster, like, five times in a row. I don't know.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): What if, instead, you handle cookware while menstruating?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Claude: Gary, what the hell are you doing?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): [whispering] Jenny and I are taking life by the horns, Claude.

Claude: So, you're just gonna ignore what Satan told us to do?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): No, no, Satan wants souls, and I'm gonna get him a soul, Claude.

[Gary shows his pocket guide full of worthy sins again to let Claude know that he's got it all under control]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): You ever see that movie, "The Bucket List"?

Jenny: I have always wanted to go camping and then watch a sunrise.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): No, not that. No, we should do the bucket list from "The Bucket List." You know what I mean? When they're driving the motorcycles down the Great Wall of China?

Jenny: Oh!

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): Like, Jack Nicholson had that scene where he reconnects with his daughter? T-That would be fun. That's fun.

Jenny: You know what? You're right. We only get one go-around at this life. We should grab it by the horns.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): Yeah, and leave good-looking corpses along the way.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Jenny: Gary, should I do this?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): If I've learned anything from my time in Iraq, it's that life is short.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: I gave him free will, and he's chosen to become obsessed with me.

Claude: Did you happen to give him an "off" switch?

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: [flirting] Why don't you and I go to bed and talk about it, huh? Yeah? Does my boldness unnerve you?

Claude: Um, honestly, it does.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: Hammerman is very jealous. We mustn't be seen together.

Hammerman: See you do what?

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: Hammerman!

Hammerman: You promise me you would make me more human, and you programmed me to love you, but you gave me hammers for hands.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: Not in front of the guest. No, no.

Hammerman: You have not touched my rubber vagina in months.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: Why don't you go prepare us our dinner, huh? Yeah? [to Claude] He loves to beat the veal with his hammer hands. [to Hammerman] Go, go.

Claude: Can I ask why you gave a hammerman a vagina?

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: Well, it's in the ass.

Claude: The vagina is in the butt?

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: [sexually] Yeah.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary tries to disguise as a cancerous handsome man to get Jenny]

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): [spills them purposely] Oh, no. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I should be more careful with needles. I'm so clumsy.

Jenny: It's fine.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): Uh, nice to meet you. I'm Gary.

Jenny: Hi. I'm Jenny.

Handsome Man: [from the hallway] He stole my nose tube! [gasping]

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man): [imitates cough] Sorry, just not feeling very good today. Guess we're a couple of cancer twins. [laughs]

Jenny: I'm just glad that they found a way to end our suffering. And it's not a sin. So, yay! [chuckles]

Gary Bunda: You didn't read page seven.

Jenny: Hm.

Gary Bunda: "Death by Episcopalian Hammer Robot"? It just starts snapping your bones and mashing your brains, and just going, [imitates hammers thudding]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Claude: Satan wants you to get back to the assisted suicides. I mean, what was so bad about the injections with drain cleaner?

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: Hammerman can't work a hypodermic. Have you seen his hammer hands?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: Yeah, Hammerman murders, so it's not a suicide. They can go to Heaven, their suffering is over -- Everybody wins.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[The Hammerman breaks through the wall brutally murdering the lovely couple in religion style]

Hammerman: Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on Earth, as it is in Heaven.

Gary Bunda: [between the window] It's just mashing him up!

Hammerman: Give us this day our daily bread.

Gary Bunda: Run! Get out of here.

Hammerman: And forgive us our trespasses.

Gary Bunda: There's, like, six more people left in there. Holy sh*t! He's using the claw-end of the hammers now!

Hammerman: And lead us not into temptation...

Gary Bunda: Run! You got to get out of there!

Hammerman: ...but deliver from evil -- For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever and ever. Amen.

[Hammerman sprayed holy water for the lovely couple]

Claude: What's he spraying? Is that acid?

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion: Holy water -- Hammerman is Episcoplalian.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Larry: You know, I was supposed to be injected with sodium pentothal. But I told Dr. Nickgibbion I was deathly afraid of needles.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Tell me -- Um, can we use the corporate card for this?

Satan: Yeah, knock yourselves out.

Gary Bunda: Yes! Um, thing about the corporate account -- Do you remember how you spent that week sort of, like, exploding my bottom with a bunch of lightning bolts and then it set my pants on fire and then you rip off my pants and then you shove 'em up my ass...

Satan: Yeah, I remember that. Mm-hmm.

[Satan moves forward to Gary to leave his lair from yapping]

Gary Bunda: ...and then you set me on fire? My wallet was in those pants, and so my card got demangnetized.

Satan: Uh-huh.

Gary Bunda: So, can I get some petty cash for that, or can I...

[Satan closes his doors away from Gary]

Gary Bunda: I don't have money!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Anti-depressants, anti-bullying, the acceptance of diversity, people staring at their phones instead of realizing how meaningless life is -- Suicides are way down, gentlemen and now...this.

[Satan shows Gary and Claude an image of Dr. Paul Nickgibbion on the internet]

Satan: You know who this is?

Gary Bunda: Yes.

Satan: Who is it?

Gary Bunda: [pauses] ...I don't know.

Satan: Dr. Paul Nickgibbion.

Claude: Oh, is it that that weird assisted suicide guy?

Gary Bunda: Ohh, yeah, the guy is so metal!

Satan: Yeah, but that son of a bitch hasn't sent me suicides in months.

Gary Bunda: Well, maybe they're just angels up in sweet, sweet Heaven.

Claude: Gary, suicide is a sin. How have you been down here this long and you don't know that?

[Gary looks at his pocket guide of hell worthy sins]

Gary Bunda: Alright, you can a boil a child in a bucket full of breast milk. Yeah, that's a sin, of course. But you can't wear polyester? We're covered in polyester.

Claude: That's why.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Fallopia: Saul!

Saul: Fallopia! You came for me!

Fallopia: Of course!

Saul: So you do love me after all.

Fallopia: No. Yes! I-I-I don't know. No. I am in a really mixed-up place right now.

Saul: Oh, Fallopia, one day I'll find a way to win your heart.

Fallopia: Maybe.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Johnny Tambourine: Fallopia's right. You are a real jerk, Johnny Tambourine. Why must you keep pushing everyone away? Maybe it's 'cause you haven't found the right chick.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Fallopia: What are we gonna do now?

Johnny Tambourine: SHUT YOUR BLEEDING MOUTH AND LET ME THINK!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Stromulous Gaundor: I will see my Latisia again, senor Malone, but if I am ever to bring my wife back to this world, I am going to need that stone. Now, where is it?!

Saul: I have a question for you. ARE YOU NUTS?!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Stromulous Gaundor: Where is the stone Where is the stone?! WHERE IS THE STONE?!

Saul: I told you, I have no idea!

Stromulous Gaundor: Do not insult me. I am a scientist!

[Shows Saul he got a chemistry set toy kit by proving he's a scientist]

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Robot: If I still had my lungs, I bet breathing all this crisp mountain air would remind me of the time me and Murph scaled the Himalayas with that sherpa. Three days in, supplies got scarce, but then Murph says eating human flesh once doesn't make you a cannibal any more than sleeping with a corpse makes you a necrophile.

Johnny Tambourine: SHUT UP!

Robot: [gasps]

Johnny Tambourine: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STUPID MURPH STORIES!

Robot: I don't want to go anymore! Just leave me here to die.

Johnny Tambourine: FINE! [smiles afterwards]

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: What the heck are you? Some sort of half-bird, half-bat?

Stromulous Gaundor: No! I am 100% birdbat!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Lil: [muttering]

Johnny Tambourine: Saul's been kidnapped by birdbats?!

Lil: [muttering]

Johnny Tambourine: And we have to rescue him?

Lil: Unh-huh-hmm!

Robot: Not interested.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Fallopia: Good morning, Johnny. I made some breakfast for you.

Johnny Tambourine: STOP SMOTHERING ME! [slaps the breakfast out of Fallopia's hands]

Fallopia: Smothering?!

Johnny Tambourine: YOU HAVE BEEN SMOTHERING ME!

[everyone was arguably shouting when Robot and Lil came in]

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Robot: So what's it like having Johnny inside you?

Fallopia: [kicks Robot] Robot! You dirty old man!

Robot: It's not what you think. I'm a longstanding contributor to a highly respected biannual erotica journal.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Lil: Dad, we have to save Saul from that horrible monster!

Clancy: [chuckling] The Birdbats aren't monsters, son.

Lil: They're not?

Clancy: Heavens, no. You see, monsters kill because they don't know any better, because they have to to survive. The Birdbats kill because they enjoy it. They're sociopaths.

Lil: Oh.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Clancy: I've learned an important lesson today.

Lil: Huh?

Clancy: From now on, you're my first priority, Lil.

Lil: Thanks, Dad.

Clancy: Just wait. In a few days, those babies will take root, and I'll show you how to shave. [referring to the testicle monsters]

Lil: Wow!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Clancy: Lil!

Lil: Dad!

Clancy: I came to apologize and to give you these.

[Clancy gives him old testicle monsters that are coughing]

Clancy: They belonged to your grandfather.

Lil: Dad, did you ever think maybe I wanted my own pair of testes and not Grandpa's wrinkled old sack?

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Lil: We're out of time! I'm destined to be intersexed!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

[The testicle monsters turned into butterflies]

Lil: Oh, no! They're metamorphosizing!

Saul: Man, these balls sure have a lot of wrinkles.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Bertrum: I hereby dedicate this memorial to the heroic workers who have made the ultimate sacrifice for the success of Project Thunder Hole.

[another digger gets killed by a memorial statue]

Bertrum: Thunder Hole! Whoo!

All: Boo! Hiss!

Dr. Lawrence 'Brad' Perkins: Word on the street is the casualty rate is too heavy.

Bertrum: Well, what am I supposed to do about it?!

Dr. Lawrence 'Brad' Perkins: I recommend we consult with Malone, the geologist. He may be able to devise a safer method for upwards digging.

Bertrum: Fine! Bring him here, then.

Dr. Lawrence 'Brad' Perkins: Uh...we're looking for him. In the meantime, I recommend you sign these personalized letters to the families of the crushed workers.

Bertrum: I just made a whole speech! What do these people want from me?!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Clancy's Wife: Clancy?

Clancy: Not now, honey! I'm --

Clancy's Wife: Don't you "Not now" me. Lil has run away.

Clancy: What?! But I-I-I --

Clancy's Wife: That's right. Because you were too wrapped up in your crusade to take him testicle hunting.

Clancy: But I --

Clancy's Wife: Don't you "But I" me. You're so obsessed with saving mole society, you've forgotten how to be a father to your only child! Now he could end up a hermaphrodite! And isn't one of those enough for this family?!

Clancy: You're right. I've been a fool. But don't worry. I've got a feeling I know where to find him.

[Clancy leaves]

Clancy's Wife: Psst! Your, uh...tampon string is hanging out.

Clancy: Ah. Thanks.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Clancy: Bob, how many more diggers have to die before you admit that you were wrong?

Bob: 406.

Clancy: What's that? Can I ask how you arrived at that number?

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: What time did we tell everybody to get there?

Lee: [whispers]

Gary Bunda: My ass and testicles are blocking the door. Can you open a portal to another TV?

Lee: [whispers]

Gary Bunda: Not Troy's. What did we talk about? We gonna backtrack on all the work we did?

Lee: [whispers]

Gary Bunda: I'm not burning them. This is a char. I'm releasing the natural sugars. I don't need you to backseat cook me, okay.

Lee: [whispers]

Gary Bunda: It's really weird that nobody's wailing on my defenseless testicles right now. Oh, here it comes. Oh, god, they're starting. Ow, ow, ow! Oh, my nuts! My damn nuts!

[Gary actually sees he mistakenly burning the food on the grill]

Gary Bunda: I am burning these.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Oh, hey, hey, hey! Where's the barbecue, boys?

Dizzay: Well, I guess it's been canceled.

Satan: Canceled? Why?

Dizzay: Take a look.

[Satan sees Gary stuck inside the TV with his swollen balls]

Satan: [laughs] They're really trying to work it out there, aren't they? And I had these prop balls made to mess with Gary.

Satan: Troy, do you mind?

Troy: I can probably get up if --

[Satan sits on Troy's swollen balls which it's close enough]

Satan: A toast, to Gary and Lee. So, has anybody hit on that your-mother-sucks-ding-dongs-in-Hell chick yet?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Everybody makes mistakes, Lee. Can you ever forgive me for not satisfying you sexually? [crying] I can get better at it. I can push more, I can...

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Lee and I are having a bit of a housewarming this weekend inside the TV, where we bone. I really hope you can stop by, Claude. Lee can pull you through the TV is she doesn't melt the rest of you first.

Claude: If I do come, I'll take Troy's TV.

Gary Bunda: Troy has a TV?

Claude: Yeah.

Gary Bunda: That's really interesting.

[Gary sees Troy's workplace to see if doesn't have love bondage with Lee]

Gary Bunda: That's a pretty big TV. What is that, a 50-incher?

Troy: Yeah. Something like that.

Gary Bunda: That's pretty big. You gonna come by the barbecue on Saturday?

Troy: Yeah, I think I'm gonna be pretty busy that day. Gary.

Gary Bunda: That's really weird. You never turn down a party. And normally somebody turns around when somebody's talking to them.

[Troy reveals to Gary that he also makes out with Lee by showing his swollen balls]

Gary Bunda: I knew I saw you buying a hoodie.

Troy: We were gonna tell you after the barbecue.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Uh, you wanted to see me?

Satan: Gary, get in here!

Gary Bunda: You must be Lee. Been seeing her around the office.

Satan: Troy tells me that you two are living together, inside a shack, inside your television?!

Gary Bunda: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't blame Lee. She's got nothing to do with it. I talked her into it. And I'm just --

Lee: [whispers]

Gary Bunda: Yeah, I'm -- I'm -- I'm -- I'm -- I'm not sorry.

Satan: What?

Lee: [whispers]

Gary Bunda: I'm your most valued employee, right?

Lee: [whispers]

Gary Bunda: I can't even, I cannot do this...

Gary Bunda: Lee and I are a platonic team together and we, uh...

Lee: [whispers]

Gary Bunda: We're dating.

Satan: [laughs] Go on and date her.

Gary Bunda: What?

Satan: I don't give a sh*t. You got some real balls on you, Gary.

Gary Bunda: Yes, they are very swollen.

Satan: Yeah, they are.

Gary Bunda: I think I sat on a bee. They do look bigger, right?

Satan: Listen, I didn't care about you two hooking up. I just said no inter-office romance because she's got that curse, you know?

Gary Bunda: What curse?

Satan: The curse where you get elephantitis of the nut-sac when you have sex with her.

Gary Bunda: But we can be open about dating each other?

Satan: Oh, my gosh, of course! Send out the invitations!

Gary Bunda: Yes! We did it! I love you, baby. [accidentally bumps his swollen balls while hugging Lee] Oh, ah, okay, alright. I got like, accidentally hard and it makes them hurt worse.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: [whispers to Lee] I love you, too. I really do. But I think we're moving too fast. You're moving too fast. You are literally an unseeable blur.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary and Lee do sex inside of Lee's house on Gary's TV]

Troy: I can still hear you through the TV!

Gary Bunda: Hit mute, Troy!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary and Lee does sex while everyone in the office works]

Gary Bunda: Ohhh, here comes the soup.

Troy: We can all hear every word that's coming out of your mouth!

Gary Bunda: Mind your own business! I'm only in here. I'm filing difficult stuff with my co-worker.

Troy: Filing your dick under the folder marked vagina?

Gary Bunda: You're really distracting me in a bad way, Troy.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

William: [whispers to Gary] He thinks we're gonna have inter-office romance with that thing?

[Gary punches William]

Gary Bunda: Say it again! Say it again! Call her a thing again! Call "her" a thing again! Who wants it?!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: How are you ladies settling in?

Lee: [whispers]

Satan: Claude touched you?

Claude: Wait, no! Uh, she touched me first. She melted my hand. I was just helping her set up her e-mail.

[Lee shows evidence by bringing the book "Leaves of Grass" and a condom that Claude handed out to her]

Satan: Oh, Claude. Poetry and colored condoms? Gentlemen, I did a whole presentation on this, and inter-office romance is strictly forbidden.

Claude: Well, I have a bombshell to drop. Gary moved the copier in front of his cube so that he and Lee --

[as Claude was about tattle the sex between Gary and Lee, Lee uses her body powers from her leg that grew an hand under the table by burning Claude's crotch]

Satan: G-Gary, what's he talking about?

Gary Bunda: I don't know. I don't know what's he's talking about, Satan! And now he's smoking, and I find it disgusting. [fake coughs]

Satan: Gary's right, Claude. Please take the smoking down to the loading dock.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Regan the Demon Girl makes an important speech]

Regan the Demon Girl: Your mother sucks ding-dongs in Hell. Your mother sucks ding-dongs in Hell. Your mother sucks ding-dongs in Hell. Your mother sucks ding-dongs in Hell. Your mother sucks...ding-dongs in hell.

Satan: Thank you, Regan, for the very enlightening and informative presentation on what everybody's mothers have been doing, down here in Hell.

Troy: I got nothing out of that.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Who's been digging into the pork wall? Haazim, I thought you guys were Muslims. Do I got to smell people's breath?

Haazim: You did.

Gary Bunda: I did this? [referring to the pork wall]

Haazim: It's taken you many months, but this is almost all you.

[Gary grabs one of the pork]

Gary Bunda: I just want to motorboat it. You guys are the luckiest group of people in this whole place.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Who's been digging into the pork wall? Haazim, I thought you guys were Muslims. Do I got to smell people's breath?

Haazim: You did.

Gary Bunda: I did this? [referring to the pork wall]

Haazim: It's taken you many months, but this is almost all you.

[Gary grabs one of the pork]

Gary Bunda: I just want to motorboat it. You guys are the luckiest group of people in this whole place.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Troy: Hi, honey. I'm Troy. You got a burger to go with that shake?

Regan the Demon Girl: Your mother sucks ding-dongs in Hell!

Troy: [paralyzed] What? You're right. She does, and I should go call her right now.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Claude tries to flirt with a ring monster]

Claude: Hi, I'm Claude, Satan's number two. Got you a welcome gift. "Leaves of Grass." It's a collection of poems by Walt Whitman. Walt's actually down here, 'cause he's gay. If you ever want to meet him, I have an in. His poems are so, uh, sensual, don't you think?

Claude: I also got you a bookmark. [gives her a condom] Safety first.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[after watching Benji's orientation video about sexual harassment]

Satan: Any, uh, any questions?

Gary Bunda: Why are we watching this video? There's no women around here.

Satan: Times are changing, Gary. Women are just as capable as men in the workplace. So I'm bringing in some stupid bimbos to work with you guys.

All: [cheering]

Satan: Any other questions? Yeah, William?

William: My teeth are falling out.

Satan: That's more of a statement, William.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Benji does an orientation video about sexual harassment in Hell]

Benji: Hi, I'm Benji. And those of you who know me know I'm crazy about young boys. But that doesn't impact my ability to sexually harass women in the workplace.

Benji: Hey, Becky. That's a dynamite pantsuit.

Becky: Well, thank you. [laughs]

Benji: Practice with me. Say "Do you need a man's help, sugar boobs?"

All: Do you need a man's help, sugar boobs?

Benji: Why don't you let me help you unfasten that bra, so you can better see the pornographic picture I just sent you?

Becky: I would like equal pay for equal work.

Benji: [laughs] Geez, is it that time of the month already? Now fetch me some coffee, Becky. I'm done with you sexually.

Becky: Okay.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: So, you got all of our golden fiddles back?

Gary Bunda: Yeah. In a way, yeah. Absolutely.

Satan: What do you mean "in a way?"

[cuts to next scene where Gary and Satan gets back in Satan's Office where Todd is the headmaster of Hell]

Toad: Ah, is he the workman? I want a display case built right here, big enough for all four of my golden fiddles and four souls. [laughs]

Satan: [to Gary] Who is this?

Toad: I will see your face turn alabaster when you find the servant is the master. "Wrapped Around Your Finger," The Police, 1983 Grammy Award Winning.

Satan: Todd, Eater of Worlds.

Gary Bunda: His name's Todd Stodski.

Satan: Mm-hmm.

Toad: Ooh, actually, while you're at it, could you get rid of this, 'cause my name's Todd. Not Satan. [laughs]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Trivia Host: All answers are in, and the final answer to the question is --

Gary Bunda: THESSALONICA!

Trivia Host: Thessalonica.

Toad: I got it. [to the demon employers] Did -- Did you get it?

Gary Bunda: Oh, we got it. Verbally.

Trivia Host: But it had to be written down, and your teammate clearly wrote..."Belteam."

Gary Bunda: Do you want me to go buck wild and rip up this place?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Satan gets a call from Claude]

Satan: My man.

Gary Bunda: Hey, hey, hey, where did you stop Paul from going to?

Satan: This is Gary, isn't it? Using Claude's phone?

Gary Bunda: [imitating Claude] It's me, Claude. Shalom.

Satan: Yeah.

Gary Bunda: [normal voice] Alright, this is Gary, okay?

Satan: Okay, I got to go. See you, Gar.

Gary Bunda: No, no, no!

Satan: I got to go.

Gary Bunda: [muffled] Where did you stop Paul from going to?

Satan: Is your jaw locking up? Told you those spikes would give you tetanus.

Gary Bunda: [muffled] Okay, yeah. Where did you stop Paul from going to? Paul from The Bible.

Satan: Paul-ra-bu-bible? I don't know who this is man. What are we doing?

Gary Bunda: [muffled] Where did you stop Paul? Paul.

Satan: Paul?

Gary Bunda: [muffled] Paul.

Satan: Paul who? Paul Simon?

Gary Bunda: [muffled] No, not Paul Simon. Who are you, Lorne Michaels?

Satan: Paul McCartney?

Gary Bunda: [muffled] No, who did you stop Paul from going to?

Satan: I don't -- I don't know. Paul? You're Paul.

Gary Bunda: [muffled] Paul from The Bible. Where did you stop Paul from The Bible from going to?

Satan: The apostle Paul.

Gary Bunda: [muffled] Yeah! The -- Yes, yes. The apostle Paul.

Satan: This is in, uh, Thessalonians, right?

Gary Bunda: [muffled] The song is about to end. I need you to give me the answer.

Satan: Yes. Thessalonica. Yes, it is a very funny story, actually. [Gary hangs up] Hello?

Gary Bunda: [drawing the final answer] Thessalonica. [laughs] Funilingus back on top.

Dizzay: I just turned in Bethlehem.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary tries to call Satan to win back the golden fiddles]

Gary Bunda: [acting while seeing Todd suspicious] My ear hurts. I better rub it with my knuckle like this.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: I think The Dimples is a great team name.

Dizzay: No, no, no, no, man. That names sucks. We need something like a play on the tree of knowledge, like --

Gary Bunda: The Fruity Boys.

Claude: No.

Gary Bunda: Big Danglin' Fruits.

Claude: No!

Gary Bunda: The Stinky Banana Buddies.

Troy: What are you talking about?

Gary Bunda: A bunch of grapes. Tiny "g," big "R." Rapes. Big Rapes.

Troy: I already turned our name in. Our team name is Funilingus.

Claude: Funilingus?

Dizzay: Oh, come on, man.

Troy: Yeah, yeah. 'Cause we're here to have fun, but if we happen to... [flicking his tongue in a sexy way] that wouldn't be bade, either.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Toad: Ah, back for more, huh? And I see you brought reinforcements. Isn't that right, Dimples? [laughs] I'm referencing the question you got wrong last week.

Gary Bunda: I know. A golf ball on average has 336 dimples.

Toad: [mock crying] But you're a week too late. And by the end of this match, I want two more fiddles, two more souls, and I expect to be crowned supreme ruler of the underworld.

Claude: Well, sorry, but we don't have the authority to give you any of that.

Troy: It's a deal. You're about to learn what my ass tastes like, Toad.

Toad: [fake spits]

Gary, Claude, and Dizzay: Ugh.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Satan shows Gary and Troy to the Tree of Knowledge]

Satan: Gentlemen, behold.

Gary Bunda: This is some kind of tree?

Satan: It's the tree of knowledge you dumb sh*t.

[Satan shakes the tree of knowledge which leaves out disgusting rotten fruit]

Satan: Let's go, pick it up. Gobble up this fruit, alright? It's chock full of useless information. Come on. Eat it up. You put it in your mouth, up your ass, I don't care. Either way.

Satan: Claude, Dizzay, come here. You got to help these two idiots win a trivia contest. Come on.

Dizzay: Oh, man, I got to eat this moldy fruit because of your dumb asses?

Satan: Get in there. Get some of this. Come on, it tastes good. Drop it, it's not ripe.

Gary Bunda: [burping and gagging]

Satan: Keep it in, Gary. Swallow the seeds, too. All of it.

Troy: Pete Best was the fifth Beatle. [gags]

Satan: There we go.

Dizzay: And The Beatles used to be called the Quarrymen.

Satan: Is that true?

Claude: "The Simpsons" is the longest-running scripted television show, but I already knew that.

Satan: Nice. Work it! Work it! Keep going!

Gary Bunda: You're not the real Satan.

Satan: What? Come here. Come here, you son of a...

[Gary runs away]

Satan: I WANT MY FIDDLES BACK! Do you understand?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary and Troy get caught by Satan in Satan's Soul Closet]

Troy: Hi.

Satan: The f*** you two doing in my soul closet?

Troy: It's a really funny story.

Gary Bunda: Troy's an alcoholic, and he lost both of our souls and our fiddles in a bar trivia contest, so no, Troy, it's not a funny story.

Satan: [looks up on his phone] #GoldenFiddles, #Souls, #SuckItSatan. Is this the guy?

Gary Bunda: We're trending?

Satan: These golden fiddles are recruitment tools, they're bait. You are not to lose them in a bet.

Gary Bunda: You lost to Charlie Daniels. He wears a vest without a shirt. He's got a five-pound Confederate flag belt buckle. And that's his proudest thing, and he has kids.

Satan: Come with me.

Gary Bunda: [to Troy] We're gonna get raped.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Troy: I'm the best that's ever been at bar trivia.

[cuts to next scene where Gary and Troy sneakily goes to Satan's Soul Closet]

Gary Bunda: Yeah, you're the best that's ever been, alright. The best that's ever been at passing out drinking Jello shots while I have to sit there listing Kenny Rogers hits. I only know "The Gambler." I wrote it five times. They must think I'm autistic.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Troy: You! Toad! I got another golden fiddle for your soul, and this time, I brought a trivia expert. [referring to Gary]

Gary Bunda: No.

Toad: [laughing] Oh. By night's end, I'm gonna be fiddling while Troy burns. That's reference to Nero and Rome, 64 A.D. But if I'm wagering my soul, you should wager yours, too.

Troy: Done.

Gary Bunda: No!

Troy: Both of ours and the golden fiddle in exchange for the fiddle you won for me last week.

Toad: I will end you. "Good Will Hunting." Best Screenplay, what year?

Troy: '95.

Toad: '97. [laughs] This is gonna be a piece of cake. [laughs]

Todd: Sarah, I'll take 30 hot wings and a diet soda delivered to my table post haste. You can take your tip out of my bar bucks from last week's winnings when I took him down.

Troy: [to Gary] Well, I got a real ringer here. He knows everything about pop culture and Canada and dead celebrities.

Gary Bunda: I've been in hell for the last 10 years. The only dead celebrities I know are Jeffrey Dahmer and Adolf Hitler.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Troy, you seen my fiddle? Where's my fiddle? I need -- I'm looking for my fiddle. Where is it?

Troy: I don't know. Where did you put your fiddle?

[Gary sees his golden fiddle hiding behind Troy's printing machine]

Gary Bunda: There's my fiddle.

Troy: No, no, that's my fiddle. That's my fiddle! That's my fiddle!

Gary Bunda: No, you stay back. It's got roofing tar all over it, alright? You diddled my fiddle!

Troy: Shh! Alright, fine, fine! I just need to borrow it for tonight, and then I'll give it back tomorrow!

Gary Bunda: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?! You reek of booze. Did you lose your fiddle?

[cuts to next scene where Gary and Troy are at bar on why Troy lose his fiddle]

Gary Bunda: You've been here all Golden Fiddle Week at Burglar's Cove getting slammered?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Where' your fiddle, Gar?

Gary Bunda: Oh, I got it right here.

Satan: mm-hmm.

[Gary sees his workspace that his fiddle is gone]

Gary Bunda: Where's my fiddle?

[Satan grips Gary's back]

Satan: I want all those fiddles back by the end of the week. Do you understand me?

Gary Bunda: Yes.

Satan: Otherwise, I'm gonna find them and I'm gonna re-string those veins in your dick, you little sh*t. I'm not f***ing around. I need those fiddles back. They're made of solid gold!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Ay-yi-yi, carbon. [chuckles] I bet three dudes that I could beat them at nailing shingles to a roof, and I crushed their asses [chuckling] because I'm the best there's ever been.

Gary Bunda: They weren't even working very hard. They nailed in a couple shingles and they all, whole team said that their back hurts.

Satan: Where's their souls?

Gary Bunda: Oh. They left before I could do that. Yeah, and then they moved the ladder and they put in the van and they drove away. I had to shimmy down a drain pipe, and I got stuck in a bush.

Satan: So you basically shingled that roof for free.

Gary Bunda: And I'm the best at it. Yep, it said on their business card that they were the best. As a matter of fact, they were not the best. So I'm the best there's ever been.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Each demon try to challenge people for a golden fiddle for their soul]

Gary Bunda: Scoot over, you dirty roofers, 'cause I'm the best that's ever been at roofing.

Dizzay: And I'll bet you a fiddle of gold against your soul that I'm better than you at tennis.

Troy: I'm the best that's ever been at tequila drinking.

Benji: I bet I can make love to your son, and I'm the best that's ever been.

Troy: [to Toad] I'll beat your ass at bar trivia!

Toad: [to Troy] I would beg to differ.

Dizzay: [to Tennis Player] Well, I'm good, but I'm not, like a pro or nothing.

Tennis Player: [to Dizzay] You just said you're the best that's ever been.

Benji: [to Dad] Bottom line, can I make love to your son?

Dizzay: [to Tennis Player] Just one game. Come on, man!

Dad: [to Benji] I'm calling the police.

Benji: [to Dad] But I'm the best that's ever been!

Dad: GET OUT OF HERE!

[Gary almost fallen off the roof]

Gary Bunda: [screaming] Oh, my god! Oh, my god, am I safe? Am I safe?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: I don't know how to play a damn fiddle.

Claude: You don't need to be able to play a fiddle. Just challenge them to something your good at, like William here is a world-class opera singer.

William: [sings operatically] Thank yo-o-o-o-o-o-o-u.

Gary Bunda: That was good. I can't believe he murdered his family.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Lil: Those are scary testicles.

Saul: STEP BACK, SON! THEY HAVE RABIES! There's only thing we can do for them.

[Saul instantly smashed the scary testicles]

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: Easy there, little guy. You got to be patient. Use stealth and cunning.

Lil: Gosh, you're smart.

Saul: Well, let's just say I learned a few things at Sleepaway Camp.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

[Saul and Lil went to the Puberty Gulch were they see the testicle monsters]

Saul: We'll I'll be. They're cute as the Dickens.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Reporter: Mr. Bertrum, what do you say to the families of all the crushed diggers?

Bertrum: To make an omelet, break some eggs, uh, died as heroes -- You know, you fill in the blanks.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Lil: [singing] I wish I had a pair of balls, for then I wouldn't be a runt. But my dad won't find the time to take me on the testicle hunt.

Saul: [singing] Don't despair, you little guy. Wipe that tear from your eye, I will take you with the other dads to Puberty Gulch to find your nads.

Lil: [singing] There we'll join the testicle hunt.

Saul: [singing] So you have balls and not a uterus.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Lil: What's the matter?

Saul: Ask me after you go through puberty.

Lil: [crying]

Saul: Hey, kid, don't take it so hard. I didn't mean anything by it.

Lil: That's just it, mister. I was supposed to go through puberty today. I need to be escorted by a guardian, but my dad was too busy to take me to catch my testicles.

Saul: [spits water] Catch your testicles?

Lil: I'm two months overdue to go on the great testicle hunt.

Saul: You have to hunt down your testicles?

Lil: Yeah! Down at Puberty Gulch. And if I don't get them soon, I could end up...intersexed.

Saul: Well, that puts a whole new wrinkle in the puberty process.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Bertrum: My fellow moles, the hour has come to usher in the era of thunder hole! Let the dig begin!

[the Mole Men worker gets crushed by rocks when he touched the ceiling of the surface]

Bertrum: Good work. Next digger.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Bertrum: Sure, there were those who called it unwise, risky, overambitious. [fake cough] Clancy!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Clancy: [on phone] Listen, Jim, the reason I called is I need your support to stop my brother's wicked scheme to dig into the taboo area.

Jim: Not interested! [hangs up]

Clancy: Son of a bitch!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Fallopia: Please, let me explain.

Saul: Go ahead! Try me!

Fallopia: This thing with Johnny -- It's just incredibly passionate, transcendent sex and the deepest kind of romantic love. So, please, I cherish you as a friend...a totally sexless friend.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

[Saul sees Johnny and Fallopia doing sex with each other]

Saul: What are you two doing in there?!

Johnny Tambourine: [to Fallopia] See? I told you he wouldn't know.

Saul: [to Fallopia] We had a date! How could you just turn around and have intercourse with Johnny Tambourine?!

Fallopia: I think he does know, Johnny.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Captain: BTO. Bachman-Turner Overdrive.

STRATA Operator #2: It's not Bachman-Turner Overdrive.

[the Captain steals one of the crewmate's knife and stabs him aggressively for misspelling the word]

Captain: BTO. Bachman-Turner Overdrive.

STRATA Operator #2: Listen, you can threaten me. You can stick that knife through his hand and into the table till the cows come home, but hear me now and hear me well. That is not Bachman-Turner Overdrive.

[the two guys then have a suspension expression fight afterwards]

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: Who are you kidding, Malone? You haven't been on a date since you followed that docent around the geology museum, and Fallopia is no Jane Geode. She's a certified knockout!

Lil: Don't worry, mister. You'll be fine. She's just a filthy, wretched ogre. She's lucky to get a guy like you. [referring to Fallopia who is sexy human version of mole man]

Saul: Really? You think so?

Lil: I don't know.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: Sometimes when my nostrils gets too bushy, people think it's a booger, and it makes them self-conscious, and they start thinking they might have a booger or something else in their nostrils, and that is the last thing I want to happen with Fallopia. God knows she's suffered enough.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: [to Fallopia] No, you're beautiful.

Robot: You're a real looker, missy. Hubba-hubba!

Johnny Tambourine: For a human, sure, but she's a mole. Why would I want a hideous mole when I could have any mole I want?

Robot: Johnny's right. She's a pig.

Johnny Tambourine: Let's go find some real mole girls. Once you've gone mole, there's no other hole.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: Fallopia? That's beautiful.

Fallopia: But you can call me what everyone else does -- A hideous mutant barely worthy of being a punching bag.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Mr. President: How are you trying to reach your goal?

STRATA Operator #1: By activating the DX-2, our backup drill ship.

STRATA Operator #2: But there's a slight problem, Mr. President. The ship can only drill up. It's a design flaw.

Mr. President: Indochina.

STRATA Operator #1: Of course. Indochina!

Mr. President: Indochina.

STRATA Operator #1: We'll take the drill ship to Indochina.

Mr. President: Indochina.

STRATA Operator #2: That way we can drill up, straight to the center of the earth.

Mr. President: Indochina.

STRATA Operator #1: Pack your bags, STRATA Operator #2. We're going to Indochina.

STRATA Operator #2: Let's go.

Mr. President: Indochina.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: What's your name?

Fallopia: ...

Saul: What's...your...name?

Fallopia: ...

Johnny Tambourine: I don't think she knows how to talk.

Robot: Do what they do to make horses talk on those tv programs. Put peanut butter in her mouth. That'll get the old gums flapping.

Saul: Robot, that's not a half-bad idea.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Hambrosia: Hello, dear. I got you some gifts -- A divorce, and the end of my curse.

– The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

Sheriff: [to Hurshe] Turns out you're more than just a gaping receptacle for my thrusting member.

– The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

Hurshe: It feels like five lips felching a rim job, but in my heart.

– The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

[the directors rewrite the ending of Eddie becoming a demon sequence in a different kind of way]

Eddie: It's too bad I had to forfeit my victory and now you're red and I'm not because you're a demon again.

Troy: [tired] Yeah, I won, I won. I'm the demon. And I'm so happy about it.

Eddie: I'm back to being a tortured, not with the horns and red skin that you enjoy. I guess being a demon just wasn't for me.

Troy: Shut up, you son of a bitch! [whips Eddie]

[Matt shows up with a lower CG budget of Satan except his face, torso, and arms]

Satan: I like this. This works. This feels right.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Dave Willis: Hey, Spencer. It's Dave. What's up?

Spencer: Hey, so Eddie doesn't want to do the red paint on his face.

Dave Willis: Uh, he's all good. I talked to him like two minutes ago. He's kind of upset, but we're -- We're all cool.

Spencer: Well, he just texted me one minute ago, and he said definitely doesn't want to do the red paint. So, uh, maybe make him a human demon that's flesh-colored? I think that's funnier anyway. They don't all need to be red. Bye-bye.

Dave Willis: [to Casper Kelly] No f***ing way are we doing that. We're not doing it.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Eddie becomes a demon after winning the Wall of The Damned]

Eddie: I'M A DEMON! NOW AND FOREVER!

[cuts to the next scene where there's a 4th wall break when the cast crew ask one of the directors how they feel about the makeup and prop scenery]

Eddie Pepitone: Never again, okay? Don't f***ing paint me in this red sh*t no more!

Dave Willis: You know, everybody has to do it -- Henry, Matt...

Henry Zebrowski: Yeah.

Dana Snyder: And I'm a tortured now. And I'm gonna stay a tortured for the rest of the season 'cause I'm not putting that red sh*t back on.

Matt Servitto: Dave, can't we do the red digitally now?

Dana Snyder: Digital. There you go.

Matt Servitto: And then we wouldn't have to sit through it. Shane, I love what you do. I love your guys' work, but we wouldn't have to do it. And these pants, these are fur. It's hot as hell in there. I mean, we could digitize the pants.

Dave Willis: I mean, we have two more weeks of shooting. Just two more weeks, you can gut it out. I can't rewrite it.

Eddie Pepitone: Alright. Alright, fine, fine.

Dave Willis: You mean it?

Eddie Pepitone: I'll do it, yeah.

Dave Willis: Alright, thank you. Thank you so much.

Eddie Pepitone: You're welcome.

Dave Willis: Alright.

Intern: Eddie's agent is on the phone.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Gentlemen, behold. The Wall of the Damned. Yeah, I rented it. It's got to be back in a couple hours.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Eddie tries shove Troy's trophy into Troy's ass]

Troy: Please don't do it, Eddie! Please, I'm begging you. I'm begging you. Dude, you don't have to do this. It hurts so bad, I can't hack it. I'm weak. I'm not strong like you. I'm not strong like you. I'm weak. My body's not made for that to happen to me. Please. I'm begging you, please. Take mercy on me, Eddie. Please!

Eddie: Alright. Alright, I won't do it.

Troy: See, Satan? Eddie doesn't have what it takes to do this job -- Bottom line.

Eddie: No, I want to be a demon. I just don't like the butt stuff.

Satan: I need demons that can do the butt stuff, Eddie.

Troy: I can do the butt stuff.

[Troy manages to shove his trophy inside his butt]

Troy: [farts] There it is.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Did you write this e-mail and sent it to the entire department? I'm confused It came from your computer.

Satan: It says, "I don't have what it takes to be a demon. I'm weak and soft not strong, like Troy. Troy should have his horns back. Stupid Satan really blew it with this one. Satan's a sad loser, almost as sad as Eddie, who is me who is very weak."

Eddie: Why would -- Why would I write that? I-I mean I worship you, sir.

Satan: Whoever did write this, Eddie, he's got spunk and grit. He's -- He's treacherous. He's not afraid to speak his mind, you know?

Eddie: [tricking] Oh, you know, I did write that.

Satan: No, you didn't. You know who did write this? Troy. Troy hacked into your account to purposely make you look bad, because he's got attitude, Eddie. And you need to get that attitude.

Satan: Have you shoved that trophy up his ass yet?

Eddie: Oh, no, we said we were gonna circle back at 4:00 because that's what fits Troy's schedule.

Satan: HE DOESN'T SET THE SCHEDULE, YOU DO! Now you take this trophy and you shove it up his ass. YOU HEAR ME?!

Eddie: Yes, right --

Satan: GET OUT OF HERE!

Eddie: No, I'll put it in his ass.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Good job picking the baby. Babies are good eating. They're like -- They're like the veal of people, you know?

Eddie: For the record, I picked the blanket.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Eddie tries the hologram training]

Hologram Son: It's so cold, Mama. What will we eat to sustain ourselves, Mama?

Hologram Benji: What would you advise them to eat? Think, Eddie. What poor, defenseless thing in this scene is edible?

[Eddie quivers when he chooses the baby]

Hologram Benji: Congratulations! You chose the baby!

Eddie: No, no, no, no! I meant the baby blanket, not the baby.

Hologram Benji: The baby will be an excellent source of protein for these settlers...until they're brutally murdered by Indians.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Eddie: Hi, Keith. What's up, man?

Keith: I got you e-mail set up, Eddie.

Eddie: Thank you, Keith.

Keith: Your password's Traitor$Sellout. That should be easy for you to remember, but I, uh, put it on a Post-It.

Eddie: Don't do me like this. I'm still the same old Eddie.

Keith: Yeah, is that what you tell yourself when you whip us? When you're sitting in your fancy cube? You're such an asshole since the promotion.

Eddie: I'm just doing my job here. Don't bust my balls on this.

Keith: Why not? You're gonna be busting ours -- With the gonad hammer, down by ball-busting rock.

Eddie: Yes, probably. But, again, I'm just doing my job. I'm sorry.

Keith: Way to remember where you came from. [angrily leaves]

Eddie: Geez.

Gary Bunda: Damn!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Eddie: Do you have anything that's, like, animal-free, cruelty-free? I'm a vegan.

Ben: I got rawhide.

Eddie: I-I...

Ben: Deer hide.

Eddie: No, I-I --

Ben: Horse hide.

Eddie: These are all animals. I-I want something that isn't an animal.

Ben: I got suede back here.

Eddie: You know, that does come from an animal, I believe.

Ben: Cow hide?

Eddie: Listen to the first part of that.

Ben: Hey, why -- Why don't you try this 12? Try cracking that, see how that bad boy does.

Eddie: Thank you so much.

[Eddie whips his new whipper]

Eddie: Here you go, ya Wall Street scum! Huh? You predatory-lending prick! Terrific.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: [to Eddie] I've been watching you since the late '70s, just walking around here with your head up your ass. But today, you showed me you got what it takes to be a demon. Eddie, these are yours.

Eddie: Oh, thank you, sir!

Troy: Uh, sir, those are my horns. I-I put my initials on them.

Satan: And Troy is excelling in our torture program. Which is why I'm giving you my Tortured of the Month Award. Eddie, I want you to give Troy his, uh, his trophy. And I've got some lube and some instructions here on how to insert it.

Troy: Sir, that's not lube, that's sand.

Eddie: Is this really happening? Hey, Troy, you know I didn't ask for this.

Gary Bunda: You're going to Hollywood!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Eddie [chuckles] I have no idea how you buried yourself alive and somehow added a bouquet of dead flowers on top.

Eddie: Well, Gary did all the work, sir.

Gary Bunda: I did all the work, sir.

Satan: No, you didn't. Shut up, Gary.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: What's up with this waffle? There's no batter on it.

Troy: I was just taking a little break, Satan. Gary said I could.

Gary Bunda: YOU LIE!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Troy: This isn't a Belgian waffle. You need batter. This is amateur hour.

Gary Bunda: You're the batter.

Troy: No.

Gary Bunda: You're the batter. You got to lie down in the thing and close the lid, your guts come out in the tiny squares, and that makes the waffle.

Troy: No, I'm the flavoring. You still need batter. This should have been buttered or some type of non-stick, 'cause I'm -- You're never gonna get out of here. I'm just thinking of you.

Gary Bunda: No, you're supposed to stick so then when I pull up the lid, parts of you get stuck to both sides of it.

Troy: You don't wanna get sticked. Cleanup is a bitch with these things. If you wanted to squish me and press me and burn me in a waffle iron, that's one thing. But if you want to make what you were told, Belgian waffles a la Troy, you need some batter.

Eddie: He's stalling! Just close the lid. By the way, I should have been buried hours ago.

Troy: Just go bury Eddie. I'll cook myself. I got this.

Eddie: You're not supposed to do that. You are now a tortured, okay? Stop putting on airs.

Troy: It's just a little slap on the wrist. I'm gonna be red and running the show before you know it. And when you see me walking around in my pleated khakis again, Eddie boy, you are gonna be at the top of my ass-kicking list.

Gary Bunda: Okay, here, help me bury him, and then we'll come back here, and we can do the waffle thing together.

Troy: [scoffs] You can't handle two tortures at once, can you?

Eddie: Hey, he's talking back. He's not supposed to do that.

Gary Bunda: Yeah, don't you talk back, Troy! 'Cause you talk back, I'm gonna start kicking back, and then you got to --

Satan: Nice burial, Gar.

Eddie: [to Satan] Two tortures at once! [coughs] Talk about multitasking!

Satan: [sarcastic] Oh, no, Eddie's suffocating. Hurry, Gary. Save his life. Give him mouth-to-mouth.

Gary Bunda: But he's still making noise. I don't think you need to -- Alright.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Saul: You want me to beat a poor, defenseless mutant in a canvas sack? What, are you nuts?

Bertrum: What's the big deal? It's just a mutant.

Mole Woman: It's really ugly. Besides, it likes it.

Saul: It's in agony.

Dr. Lawrence 'Brad' Perkins: On the contrary. To the best of our knowledge, it has no nervous system. It can't feel a thing.

[Dr. Brad kicks the mutant which is still groans in pain]

Dr. Lawrence 'Brad' Perkins: See?

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Beet God: Hey, what's going on?

Clancy: It's the big gala for Project Thunder Hole.

Beet God: Huh?

Clancy: Thunder Hole -- The thing I was warning you about.

Beet God: Oh, sorry. I wasn't paying attention. Thunder Hole, huh? Sounds cool. What's it all about?

Clancy: It's Bertrum's evil plan to dig into the "taboo area." I prayed to you to stop it.

Beet God: Huh?

Clancy: Doh -- Fine -- Ah...

Clancy's Wife: Come on, Lil. We live in a godless void.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Bertrum: Just this morning, a little crippled boy named Tommy hobbled up to me. He said, "Mr. Bertrum, will Project Thunder Hole have a place for me?" And I said, "No, cripples will not be allowed to work on Project Thunder Hole. It's not practical."

Tommy: [sad sigh]

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Mole Woman: Hey, aren't you Saul Malone, the official thunder-hole geologist?

Saul: Well, I guess you could say that.

Mole Woman: Wow. You're responsible for the destruction of so many rocks. It makes my egg pouch all hot.

Saul: No, on the contrary, my aim is to limit the damage to an absolute minimum.

Mole Woman: I hate you now.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

[Mole Woman bumps into Saul]

Mole Woman: Oh, I'm sorry. Let me help you. [to Mole Men Waiter] YOU, CLEAN THIS UP!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Bertrum: The choice is simple, Mr. Malone. Become the public face of Project Thunder Hole, or get reacquainted with an old friend of yours, an old friend named Bernice Resnick.

Saul: [confused]

Bertrum: That's the wormy's name.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Bertrum: [to Saul] You'll have to excuse my brother. He suffers from certain nervous disorders.

Robot: What, he's a fruit?

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: Aw, my coccyx.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Ted: Coffee run. You guys want coffee?

Troy: I'd love a large macchiato.

Gary Bunda: No! No. [to Ted] Get him a medium. [laughs evilly while whipping Troy]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: It was just nice to see my dad in his element -- Drunk, on the water, ignoring a lot of what I was saying. But there.

Gary Bunda: Me and Dad, we were pulling up martins left and right. Easy-peasy, Japanesey. Just jumping in the boat. Game warden came over and said we had to throw all the martins back.

Troy: Called "Marlins," Gary. It's "Marlin."

Gary Bunda: It'll be "MARTIN" IF I SAY IT'S "MARTIN"! YEAH! YEAH!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: I didn't know you were in the army, Dad.

Gary's Dad: Yeah. I came home from the war, had a kid. I didn't know what I was doing.

Gary Bunda: No, you did not.

Gary's Dad: I just didn't want you turning into a big fairy.

Gary Bunda: Well, Pappy, I'm not a fairy.

Gary's Dad: I know, son. And I think I had a big hand in that.

Gary Bunda: You did.

Gary's Dad: I did, didn't I?

Gary Bunda: You really did.

[back to the Hell's office where Troy's plan was not expecting how Gary's torture would lead to recently]

Satan: Apparently, they're on a fishing trip together down in the Keys. Troy, your biggest fear is being one-upped by Gary.

[Satan shows his document]

[then Troy got demoted into a tortured soul afterwards]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: I'm an adult! You're just a puppet. I'm stronger than a puppet.

[Gary tries touch the wires making the car running]

Gary Bunda: And I can leave this parking lot anytime I like!

[Gary escapes]

Stitches MacKillinghim: It's a "shear" delight to -- Wait, where you going? Come on, man!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Satan shows a live footage where Troy made Gary's fear came true recently]

Troy: I think Gary might be a little late...for the meeting.

Satan: You think? [chuckles]

Torture Consultant: Guys, this is what I've been preaching all week. he's got a hot car and a puppet, and he's in Gary's head. Not everybody has to be cut up, f***ed and eaten, Benji.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Woah! This old Fury's just like my Dad's!

Shawn: What?

Gary Bunda: Did you rent this?

Shawn: Oh, no, this is mine. Want to get in back?

Gary Bunda: Get in back?

Shawn: Yeah!

Gary Bunda: Alright.

[after Gary gets in the back of the car, one of the lockers were closed by themselves which remakes the same bad childhood that Gary encountered]

Gary Bunda: No! No! Come on!

Stitches MacKillinghim: It's a "shear" delight to meet you. [laughs evilly]

Gary Bunda: NOOOOO! Get away! Get away!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Shawn call Gary's Dad]

Gary Bunda: Is he there? He's there? He's there? Oh, what should I say?

Gary's Dad: Hello?

Gary Bunda: [Indian accent] Is this Lamar Bunda?

Gary's Dad: Please take me off your list, please.

Gary Bunda: [Indian accent] But, Babur, I want to give you --

[Lamar hangs up]

Gary Bunda: That was him. That was my dad.

Shawn: Well, I mean, I have his address. Do you want to go pay him a visit? Oh, unless -- How long do I have before I explode?

Gary Bunda: Oh, I didn't do any of that stuff.

Shawn: Oh.

Gary Bunda: Busted. [pulls a key from his pocket]

[Gary and Shawn laugh]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: You have any specific memories of your father that may make you cry or be scared?

Shawn: None that I'm aware of.

Gary Bunda: So you mean to tell me your Dad [distored voice] never, like, rapped you on the head and said, "Hello, is anybody home?"

Shawn: No. My Dad was pretty great growing up.

Gary Bunda: Oh, yeah, but what about the time when you were playing baseball and you missed the ball and he was like, "Gary the fairy!" [distorted voice] "Gary the fairy!"

Shawn: Your Dad did that to you?

Gary Bunda: [distorted voice] Yeah.

Shawn: Oh, man. It sounds like you should talk to him, maybe -- Like, tell him how you feel.

Gary Bunda: [normal voice] What should I say to him? You know? "Why did you lock me up in a hot car when I was 9?"

Shawn: Did you not know how to open a car door when you were 9?

Gary Bunda: [distorted voice] I knew how to do it. I was told not to. I was afraid that if I walked out into the parking lot, I'd get lost.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Benji: My guy is dead. I got to wait a day for his body to reconstitute.

Gary Bunda: What did you do?

Benji: Pulled his skin off, made a skin suit, and then I raped him because I thought it would be shocking to get raped by yourself.

Gary Bunda: Yeah.

Benji: But he was already in shock. And then I ate him because I just wanted to top myself. I wish I could do it again because it just -- I'm just a little O.C.D. that way.

Gary Bunda: You did all of that in seven minutes?

Benji: Yeah, it's not my record. He was tough. He was a body builder. He wasn't tender off the bone like a toddler.

Gary Bunda: Could you just get out of here so I can focus on this?

Benji: Are you sure?

Gary Bunda: Yeah.

Benji: Okay. Don't work too hard. [tried to kiss Gary]

Gary Bunda: Get away from me. Get away from me.

Benji: [laughing] You are so sensitive.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: [distorted voice] It's a "shear" delight to meet you. You can't see, but I'm a puppet holding pruning shears.

Shawn: Hello?

Gary Bunda: [distorted voice] The patient awakens. The surgery was a complete success.

Shawn: Oh, my god.

Gary Bunda: [distorted voice] God can't help you here.

Shawn: No, I was just gonna say this is just like that movie "Sutures."

Gary Bunda: This is nothing like the movies "Sutures."

Shawn: Is there a phone hidden in one of five incisions in my body?

Gary Bunda: [distorted voice] Yes.

Shawn: Well, I'm guessing it's in this bulge right here. [shows his phone sewed inside his stomach]

Gary Bunda: [distorted voice] Yeah. Yeah, get the phone. Take out the phone.

Shawn: Well, is it gonna explode like in the movie "Sutures"?

Gary Bunda: [distorted voice] I did not steal any ides from the movie "Sutures," okay? it's a hack-job film.

Gary Bunda: [distorted voice] "Sutures" 2 through 8 were phoned in, alright? They lost the whole original cast and the original director.

Shawn: Okay.

Gary Bunda: [distorted voice] The only way to deactivate the bomb that may or may not be in that cellphone -- And this is how it's different from "Sutures" is that you need to take out the cellphone [cuts to next scene to his normal voice] And you need to call your estranged father to get the password.

Shawn: I mean, I liked my Dad, so it's not that big a deal.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda (as kid version): Is this Scooby-Doo?

Gary's Dad: No, they didn't have that, so I just got you this scary thing instead.

[Gary's Dad put a vhs movie tape called "Sutures" which is a horror movie]

Gary's Dad: I don't know. Yeah, it's Scooby-Doo."

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Troy: So you must have a really great torture already figures out, right?

Gary Bunda: I'm gonna be...staple-in-the-head-guy. [literally staples his head] Aah! Aah! F*** that!

Troy: So, you're doing exactly what V.C. was doing, except you're just using little, tiny staples.

Gary Bunda: V.C.'s just ripping off of "Hellraiser," and nobody wants to talk about that.

Troy: What he's doing is an homage to "Hellraiser." What you're doing is just blindly copying off V.C.

Gary Bunda: It's a parody of him. I'm Weird Al-ing what he's doing.

Troy: Weird Al-ing him. Okay.

Gary Bunda: [voice breaking] I have nothing. Okay, Troy? I have absolutely nothing. Please help me. I need help.

Torture Consultant: Something wrong, Gary?

Gary Bunda: No, things are really good. My torture is so scary, it makes me want to cry. I'm gonna blow everybody's asses out of the water.

Torture Consultant: Okay. I like the 'tude. Nice.

VC: I'm Tee-Head.

Gary Bunda: I KNOW! ALRIGHT?! I KNOW! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

VC: I'm Tee-Head. My victim loves golf.

Torture Consultant: Alright, you know what? Focus on his fears, not his hobbies, but otherwise, a hole-in-one, V.C. Very good.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Dizzay's torture is showed to be wearing a clown costume with his pants down, Eddie shown being stuck in a anthill surround by big ants, and random nuke explosion scene on tv]

Torture Consultant: Way too much going on here. Quality, not quantity.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Benji is dressed as latex body suit with a pink tutu holding a saw while dancing]

Torture Consultant: Very disturbing, Benji. You can teach my seminar someday.

Benji: Thank you.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Troy: Gary, you've been downloading porn this whole week?

Gary Bunda: No.

Gary Bunda: Yes. But it's just this one picture.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Torture Consultant: Where can I take a shower and get this sh*t off me?

Benji: Uh, Diarrhea Lagoon?

Torture Consultant: Diarrhea Lagoon is not gonna work.

Benji: Well, the acidity is like an astringent.

Torture Consultant: I don't want diarrhea on me. Where can I get a clean shower, clean water, to get all this muck off me?

Benji: There's the donkey-cum waterfall.

Torture Consultant: Donkey-cum waterfall?

Benji: Yeah.

Torture Consultant: Someone piss on me. I want this -- I want this off me. If it's piss, I don't care.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Torture Consultant: I assume you guys all have your books open to chapter 1, yes?

Demon Employees: Yes.

Torture Consultant: Start ripping those pages out. I want you to take all those pages, roll them up nice and tight, and then I want you to shove those pages right up your ass.

Torture Consultant: And then once you're done shoving them up your ass, then you can pull them out of your ass, because, apparently, that's what you guys have been doing with you tortures -- Pulling them out of your ass.

[Gary starts to actually shove pages up his ass]

Satan: Gary, don't literally do it.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Satan's stomach burst out a tortured consultant to get the demon employees motivated in torture business]

Torture Consultant: Alright. Do I have your attention? Satan hired me as a consultant to light a fire under your asses because, apparently, real fire isn't enough.

Gary Bunda: Is he dead?

Satan: Gary, pay attention.

Gary Bunda: Jesus Christ.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Satan imitates calling his phone]

Satan: Hello? Yeah, hey. How's your torture going? THAT'S YOU GUYS -- PHONING IT IN!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Tortured Soul: Shouldn't someone be flaying me open with those whips?

Dizzay: Man, you're in a hurry to get your ass whupped, ain't he?

Ted: You all flayed now? Flay master.

Dizzay: I can go for some coffee.

Ted: Ooh. Coffee now? That's be good.

Ted: [to Tortured Soul] How do you take your coffee?

[the Tortured Soul is revealed as Satan in disguise]

Satan: Black...like I'm gonna make your bottom.

Ted: How did you get out of those manacles?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Ted: This little computer got a game on it where you can be your own dolphin and then you can name it. Guess what I named mine.

Dizzay: What?

Ted: Ted.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Eddie, I called you up here because you're a tortured soul, right?

Eddie: Yes.

Satan: Yeah. To me...you don't seem that...tortured.

Eddie: Oh, no. The demons do a number on me. I mean, you hear my screams. They echo!

Eddie: AAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH! You hear that right?

Satan: I know those guys are buddies of yours.

Eddie: [pause] ...Okay.

Satan: Yeah.

Eddie: You got things going on. Like, I mean, Gary's on his phone a lot.

Satan: Yeah, yeah.

Eddie: Their heart's just not into it. Hot pokers? Again? I think the main torture with these guys is boredom.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Bertrum: [to Johnny] So...about that Thunder Hole --

Clancy: FORBIDDEN!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Robot: I don't care who wins. I like to see a good fight, like when Murph took down that big Russki in Frisco. Murph was drunker than a turd-house rat, but, by god, he knocked that Russian bear out cold with a body shot and a lit cigar in his mouth!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Dr. Lawrence 'Brad' Perkins: The judge request your presence in the courtroom.

Saul: Judge? Courtroom? What do you people know of justice? Of common decency? The crapper's a hole in the ground, for crying out loud, and there's only one corncob to share between the two of us.

[Mole Men Prisoner #1 still plucking his eyes out in agony]

Dr. Lawrence 'Brad' Perkins: You were promised a full and fair trial, and that's what you'll get.

[cuts to next scenes where courtroom takes place in a battle arena between Saul and the Judge who is a worm monster]

Dr. Lawrence 'Brad' Perkins: If the Judge finds you innocent, your life shall be spared. If the Judge eats you, it means you are guilty.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

[Saul drawing the number of days he's been in prison by using a rock]

Dr. Lawrence 'Brad' Perkins: Stop vandalizing your cell. We just renovated this wing.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Bertrum: Why don't you sign this important document in triplicate, effectively green-lighting my big secret idea - Project Thunder Hole!

Bertrum: A single hole so massive that it will make all other holes obsolete! A hole so grand in scope, we mole men will never have to dig another hole again! And we'll dig it where we've never dug before -- Straight up.

Clancy: FORBIDDEN!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Bertrum: Your kingship, I offer you this token of admiration. Just a simple novelty item.

Johnny Tambourine: It's a pen!

Bertrum: Now turn it over.

[Johnny turns over the pen that shows a naked mole woman]

Johnny Tambourine: Wow!

Robot: These buffalo still have a few tricks up their sleeves.

Johnny Tambourine: I can honestly say I've never received a more heartfelt and meaningful gift.

Clancy: Oh, come on!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Mole Men Prisoner #2: I got a plan.

Saul: You do?

Mole Men Prisoner #2: A plan to bust out of here.

Saul: No way.

Mole Men Prisoner #2: Gonna fake an injury to distract the guard, then make a break for it. You in?

Saul: You better believe it, pal.

Mole Men Prisoner #2: Great.

[Mole Men Prisoner #2 breaks one of Saul's legs]

Mole Men Prisoner #2: You, guard, man down!

[Mole Men Prisoner gives a thumbs up to Saul afterwards while Saul gets beaten to death by the officers]

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Mole Men Prisoner #2: Hey, flesh sack. Can I get a spot?

[Saul feels concerned]

Mole Men Prisoner #2: Get on over here. Ain't no sex thing.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Clancy: Your majesty, I come to pay my respects and offer a tribute.

[Johnny confused]

Robot: That's a gift. He's giving stuff to you.

Clancy: The kings of old believed it helped ward off the evil spirit of Otnip. Father believed it helped him rule with wisdom, strength, and clarity.

Johnny Tambourine: Oh, um, thanks.

Clancy: You don't like it?

Johnny Tambourine: No, no --

Clancy: You seem underwhelmed.

Johnny Tambourine: It's fine.

Clancy: It has a great deal of sentimental value. It symbolizes the lineage of the mole man royal family as well as our love of orbs.

Robot: He said he doesn't like it.

Clancy: Well, I guess I can just take it back.

Johnny Tambourine: [happily] Okay.

Clancy: So, you're refusing my gift, then?

Robot: You heard the man.

Clancy: Son of a bitch!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: What sort of topsy-turvy world is this? Mole men? Talking rocks? Maybe I am nuts.

Mole Men Prisoner: Nuts? I'm afraid you're all too sane, my friend. The rocks talk to me, too.

Saul: Really? What did they tell you?

Mole Men Prisoner: This.

[the Mole Men Prisoner plucks both of his eyes out screaming in agony as well as Saul]

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Need a little help?

Ted: Guys?

Dizzay: Ted, man, welcome back, brother. We missed you.

Ted: Well, what's all this stuff?

Benji: We knew you didn't want to cut off the noses of the dolphins, so we're gonna do it for you.

Ted: [laughing] Guys!

Gary Bunda: We've never said anything about not sewing those snouts back on, so what I brought was a little bit of sewing thread and a needle and some antiseptic. And what we'll do is we'll sew the snouts back on their bodies. They'll be out in the ocean dancing and singing for the rest of their lives -- Naturally.

Satan: Don't sew the snouts back on!

Gary Bunda: No, we definitely won't do that.

Satan: I want those dolphins to bleed out.

Gary Bunda: Man, his hearing has gotten, like, way better.

Dizzay: yeah.

Gary Bunda: Can I just have some of the water?

Satan: Nope. No water. Beat it.

Benji: [to Ted] Anyway, you know...

Gary Bunda: [to Ted] Sorry, dude.

Ted: See you guys.

Gary Bunda: Probably not.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Satan gives Ted a new job by doing Dolphin Haven]

Satan: So, what you have to do is you take a hook and you slam it into their blowhole. Take this, and you cut off their snouts. Pretty -- Pretty quick. They're gonna be making lots of [imitates dolphin] but, trust me, they're not giggling. They're in a lot of pain.

Satan: Get 50 of them done by the end of the day today, and then, uh, we'll work our way up, alright?

Ted: [soft voice] Why?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Ted: Troy, have a moment with your computer?

Cliff the Software Demon: Hey, sorry about the shack, man. My CD-ROM drive's all wonky.

Ted: I'm going to gouge your eyes out.

Satan: Hey, Ted. Welcome back, buddy. Come with me. I got a new job for you.

Ted: [to Cliff] I'm coming for those eyes.

Cliff the Software Demon: You don't have the balls.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Cliff the Software Demon: $2 million worth of cocaine and hookers -- Boom, gone! I had never tried alcohol before. Can you believe that? It's amazing! [laughs] But all the solders came loose on my motherboard, burned up my hard-drive. I really did. That's what happens when you're bumping and grinding, you know? [laughs] Vegas, baby!

Troy: Yeah, sounds like you had a real wild time.

Cliff the Software Demon: I did. I very much did.

Troy: Are you getting this or what?

Cliff the Software Demon: Getting what?

Troy: The document I'm sending to you.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Ted: For my last meal, I'd like one freshly-baked acorn --

[Ted gets executed in prison]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Ted gets back into his dead body by using strange lotion]

Cliff the Software Demon: Oh, there he is! Look at this guy! You're back, baby! [laughs] Hey, you look really good.

Ted: I know we don't have electricity in here, but, Cliff, we'll get you a phone, get you Wi-Fi. We can start bombing people. Like you taught me -- More professional, you know?

Cliff the Software Demon: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turn around, dude. Let's see those legs working, huh? [chuckles] Yeah.

Ted: You and me, man we're gonna do it.

[Cliff betrays Ted by eject disks to cut off Ted's legs]

Ted: [screams]

Cliff: [calls the police] Yeah, FBI, please. Yeah, I have a tip on the Tree-Huger Bomber. Yeah, is that $2 million dollar reward still available?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Saul gets put in prison]

Saul: No! The rocks told me I was supposed lead the mole men! The rocks told me I had greatness inside of me!

Mole Men Prisoner: I'll put greatness inside of you. [laughs evilly]

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: No! You can't be king! I should king!

Johnny Tambourine: King? I'm king?

[Saul strangles Johnny]

Johnny Tambourine: [while being strangled] Oh, wow!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Mole Men #3: I'm sick of thinking!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Dr. Lawrence 'Brad' Perkins: So, by show of applause...Saul Malone!

Old Mole Men: [claps] Oh, no, sorry. I didn't mean to clap.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

[Many people and creatures of the Mole Man created their own campaign video]

Mole Men #1: So, what do you make about all this election business?

Mole Men #2: It's confusing. There so many choices.

Mole Men #1: If only there was someone who talked like you and me.

Clancy: Hi. I am Clancy Burrows, and I talk like you and me. I talk about family, digging, and old-time religion. Isn't that enough?

Bertrum: No, it's not enough, Clancy Burrows! Mole men deserve a king with new ideas and plans, ideas for a revitalized downtown...

[shows the Mole men where they transport places with hamster tubes]

Bertrum: Ideas to tackle our crippling social issues...

[shows the Mole men being put in a meat grinder]

Bertrum: Idead to address immigration reform...

[shows Saul, Johnny, and Robot stranded in a dark area while someone filming them]

Bertrum: ...and an idea so big, I refuse to divulge it until after the election!

[shows Clancy confused at a big question mark]

Bertrum: Do you hear that, Clancy Burrows?! It's the sound of new plans and ideas! Or maybe you can't hear it...because you are deaf!

Announcer: The floating pancake says he won't raise taxes to rebuild the village. The floating pancake is a liar.

Chinacula: I'm Chinacula, and I approve this message.

Saul: You vicious mole-men troglodytes have to stop digging those rocks. What you're doing is wrong! Dead wrong! So vote for me, Saul Malone.

Robot: [sarcastic] Wow.

Saul: You liked it, huh?

Robot: [sarcastic] Wow.

Saul: The election is as good as mine.

Johnny Tambourine: I'm going to vote for that Bertrum chap. He's the only one tough enough to stand up to the immigrants.

Robot: [surprised] Wow!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: Wait! Wait! Wait! I'm supposed to lead the mole men! Me! Saul Malone! There's greatness inside of me.

Anne-Zod: He was here before you. [referring to Chincula behind Saul]

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

[Clancy and Bertrum sees they're father struggling to get up while caught on fire]

Bertrum: Father, obviously you're dying, so -- Real quick -- I'm the heir to the throne, correct?

Clancy: BERTRUM!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Clancy: We will rebuild the village exactly as it was, down to the last carelessly placed, misshapen mud brick!

Bertrum: Don't rebuild the village, you nitwit! This is an opportunity to build mole-man terrace, a planned community! Father would have loved --

Clancy: Father would have eaten those plans and then excreted them out and then consumed the excretion and then regurgitated the consumed excretion into your mouth, Bertrum!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Mother Rock: You must lead them, Saul Malone. Lead them to a better way!

Saul: Me, lead the mole men? I've never led anything in my life! In high school --

Mother Rock: ENOUGH ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL! NO ONE CARES ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: A talking rock.

Mother Rock: Yes. We are sentient beings as you suspected.

Saul: I knew it! Take that, Nathaniel Baltimore...[spits] ...my rival from the Tallahassee geological license review board.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

Saul: In high school they called me Saul Gayrock just 'cause I drew a heart around a rare geode in my textbook.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

STRATA Operator #1: Play it again.

[STRATA Operator #2 plays the recorder of Saul's messages from another place]

Saul: STRATA, come in! It's Saul Malone! I'm trapped in the center of the Earth!

STRATA Operator #1: I can't hear squat!

STRATA Operator #2: The wave form is unstable.

[STRATA Operator #2 plays it again]

Saul: STRATA, come in! It's Saul Malone! I'm trapped in the center of the Earth!

STRATA Operator #1: It's completely unintelligible!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

[Ted comes back to his old home to get his body back]

Ted: Angela. You waited. My tap shoes...right there on my dead body.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Cliff the Software Demon: If we can get your soul back up into your body, there's no limit to the number of people we can explode.

Ted: You're right. Let's blow this popsicle stand. Oh, wait. We already did.

[Cliff and Ted both laugh]

Ted: Talk-- Talking about Hell.

Cliff the Software Demon: No, I know. I-I got what you were talking about.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Troy gets exploded by one of Ted's bombing packages]

Troy: Does that package smell like bat sh*t?

[Gary smells the package]

Gary Bunda: [gags] Oh, yeah.

Troy: Don't open it. No, you know what? You should open it.

Gary Bunda: Don't you yell at me. And where are your arms, you idiot? You look dumb. I may have already won, and I like those odds.

[Gary's package explodes]

Gary Bunda: [muffled] What was that? Good one. I can't hear anything.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Ted: I'm all alone down here.

Cliff the Software Demon: You're not alone, Ted. I read your manifesto, and I think you had a lot of good ideas in there. [chuckles] Not the stuff about blowing up computers, of course.

Ted: What does it matter? Satan shredded it, anyway.

Cliff the Software Demon: I scanned it. It's right here...in my belly. [laughs]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Ted gives secret bomb packages for his friends for revenge]

Benji: Come on, Ted. We're sorry about the jokes. Plus, we know these are bombs.

Dizzay: Mine is a pile of bat turds with a timer.

Gary Bunda: That's so funny, 'cause so is mine.

Ted: [to Gary] You try finding fertilizer in Hell.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Dizzay: There he is. Ted, my man.

[cuts to the next scene where Ted is dressed up as his original clothing of the Tree-Huger Bomber]

Ted: No, I get that a lot. Different Ted.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary spinning and playing with his chair]

Gary Bunda: Wee-oh, wee-oh, wee-ooh, wee-ooh. I'm a police siren.

Dizzay: Really?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Elderly Woman: "Yore killing the turtles." "Yore"? Like -- Like in "Days of yore"?

Elderly Man: We don't have any turtles.

[The Elderly Couple got exploded by one of Ted's explosive packages]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: On the invitation, you said there would be cake, that the cake would not be made out of manure or bugs. There would be chocolate inside of the cake.

Satan: It does have a little chocolate...holding the manure and the bugs together.

Gary Bunda: Give me some of that cake.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: I would like to read all 2,162 pages of Ted's manifesto.

All: No!

Satan: I HOPE YOU CAN READ THE FINE PRINT!

[Satan throws Ted's papers into the ceiling, shredding all pieces into the conference room]

Ted: Th-THAT'S MY ONLY COPY! I have a $2 million bounty on my head. How much are you nerds worth, huh? Zilch, probably. NERDS!

[Ted leaves]

All: Aww. [groan]

Gary Bunda: You bitch!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: [to Ted] We know how much you love animals. I got you a paperweight. So, we put a little dolphin head in there for him.

All: Aww!

[Ted feels disappointed from the dolphin present]

Satan: Isn't that beautiful? "Thank you." Right?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Ted: [chuckles] Ain't nothing better than a homemade acorn pie.

[When Ted swallows a acorn, he starts to choke then died instantly]

Satan: Well, no wonder the FBI never found you, Ted. Who'd want to go in that dump? [laughs]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Does anybody recognize this?

[Satan puts up a video tape of the Tree-Huger Bomber]

Gary Bunda: That's the Tree Huger Bomber. He was bombing people who made trees huger, or --

Ted: It's "Hugger." Tree hugger.

Satan: No, no, that's correct, Gary. This was the Tree Huger Bomber, the semi-literate eco-terrorist from the '80s. The one and only Ted!

All: [chanting] Ted! Ted! Ted! Ted!

Gary Bunda: Yeah, you suck!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: [to Ted] Listen, I know you -- You hate attention and you crave your privacy, so we're gonna give you lots of attention and take your privacy.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: [to Ted] Satan wants you in the conference room. Did you not get the e-mail?

Cliff the Software Demon: [laughs] Are you kidding? He doesn't read e-mails, Gary. He doesn't even have an e-mail account.

Ted: You don't tell me what to do.

Gary Bunda: Why don't you grab your buddy Cliff there, 'cause Satan wants him there, too, so --

Ted: I don't trust him. He's -- He's not a regular man.

Gary Bunda: I don't care.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Cliff the Software Demon: Uh, don't quote me, but I think you want "U-apostrophe-R-E" on that, Ted. It's not the possessive.

Ted: It's none of your beeswax, Cliff.

Cliff the Software Demon: It's one "R" in coral, too. You're spelling it "Corral." What, are you trying to save a dude ranch or something? [laughs]

Ted: [annoyed] It's about saving the reef.

Cliff the Software Demon: Yeah, okay. Alright.

[Gary shows up]

Gary Bunda: Hey, Ted, what's up?

Ted: Gary! You got any white-out?

Gary Bunda: No, I do not.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Ted: [typing on computer] "Dolphins are man's...best friend...not dogs. Your killing the corral reefs...with bad chem-- "Chem-icals."

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Meatwad: Look -- you gotta admit, it has been fun without him popping off at me. [referring to Shake]

Frylock: Speak for yourself! You ain't gotta feed him and put Vaseline on his cracked-ass lips.

– Aqua Teen Hunger Force  Movie Quote

Meatwad: Hey, what do a dick look like?

Frylock: Don't you draw a dick on him!

Meatwad: I already drew robots and superheroes. That's all there is to draw.

– Aqua Teen Hunger Force  Movie Quote

Master Shake: Of course, I am a benevolent dictator, working hand in hand with the Glorfinoids to build a better life -- for me -- on their ancestral lands, bitch!

– Aqua Teen Hunger Force  Movie Quote

Master Shake: Alright, everybody knows their roles. You, fan! You, feed! And you, um...guy? Bring your master and commander his portable gaming console.

Glorfinoid #1: Fantastisploosh. Yes, my liege.

Master Shake: I deserve way more than you can ever give me.

– Aqua Teen Hunger Force  Movie Quote

Master Shake: Feast your eyes on this valley of plenty, where it never rains, and when it does rain, it only rains joy, at least until I became king, like, two months ago. You'll see. Welcome to Shaketopia.

– Aqua Teen Hunger Force  Movie Quote

Satan: You said to him "You promised." [points to the sky referring to Healy] Promised. What, uh...what did he promise? I mean, 'cause it looked to me like you were trying to escape.

Gary Bunda: Certainly not.

[Satan uses his heat finger]

Satan: Why don't you drop trou and tell me what he promised.

Gary Bunda: That finger's not going to heal me, is it?

Satan: No.

Gary Bunda: Guess what, I'm not doing this like I normally do.

Satan: Yeah?

Gary Bunda: I'm doing The Gary Way.

[Gary starts to do ridiculous dance moves to make Satan embarrassed of not wanting to hurt Gary because of it]

Gary Bunda: Yeah, here comes the airplane. Looking for the hangar. [to Satan] You want it less because I want it?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[After Satan's Building was destroyed by one of the aliens, the employees start to clean up the mess]

Gary Bunda: Don't you have, like, a spell that can clean all this stuff up?

Satan: Yeah, I do, but I don't want to take jobs away from people.

Gary Bunda: [angerly tired] Yeah...

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[After Healy was about get his soul shredded, Healy's brother saved him by using his spaceship from Hell]

Gary Bunda: Hey, Healy, your little brother brought the big ship anyways! Tell him to beam me up, too! I got all my sh*t!

Healy: See ya later, Gary. It has been real.

Gary Bunda: THAT'S BULLSH*T!

[Gary grabs one of Healy's legs]

Satan: HEY!

Healy: Let go of me. You are not a good fit.

Gary Bunda: I'm coming with you anyway!

Healy: Also, I don't like you.

Gary Bunda: I demand immunity by the name of the Galactic Federation of Starfleet.

Healy: Sounds like some made-up bullsh*t.

[Healy cuts off one of his feet to keep away from Gary]

Gary Bunda: Your feet! You're cutting off your damn feet!

Healy: Oh, don't worry. They will grow back.

Gary Bunda: You promised! You promised me you'd take me with you! You promised!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: This is the Soul Shredder. It'll shred your soul for good. Yeah, you fall in there, you will cease to exist.

Eddie: See ya, suckers! Ha ha ha!

[Satan uses his demon powers to stop Eddie from killing himself]

Eddie: NO, LET ME DIE!

Satan: Nice try, Eddie.

Eddie: YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary and Healy gets transported back to hell with Satan]

Gary Bunda: Who told you? Was it Troy?

Satan: No, Troy has a speech impediment.

[cuts to the next scene where Troy still has corns in his face]

Satan: Shut your corn hole! Get that? Cornhole?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Healy: My brother wanted me to tell you "thank you" for helping me.

Gary Bunda: Why can't your brother just thank me in person when we're on your home planet?

Healy: He said he's bringing the smaller ship, and you may not fit inside.

Gary Bunda: Well, I can just take less stuff. Won't that fix the problem?

Healy: There are many sandstorms on my planet. You will get a lot of sand in your pad thai.

Gary Bunda: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you backing out on me? Is that what I'm hearing from you?

Healy: A lot of the beings on my planet are racist. You may have trouble finding work with the way you look.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Healy: Here, hold my translator.

Gary Bunda: No, but wait, wait. Listen, hey, hey. [Gary talks on Healy's translator] I'm really excited to meet you guys. I think this going to be fun. I'm Healy brother, I can't wait to meet you. It's fun, it's cool. Alright. Alright.

[after Healy got his phone, Gary heard some unexpected stuff while holding his translator]

Healy: [talking on phone with Roy] Yes, I'm still alive. No thanks to you, dumbass. That was just some stupid earthling. I do not give a sh*t if you have to ask of work, Roy! This place is horrible. I'm gonna push that we have this entire planet destroyed.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Healy: There are my space shorts. I can call my brother.

Gary Bunda: Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey. Mention me, you know? Mention that I'm coming with you guys. Tell him that we can have some pad thai on me. All my tree -- The tree that grows all my favorite foods? And then I can have some alone time with that robot that's just gonna give me handjobs all night.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary and Healy sees Healy's old body being torned up]

Gary Bunda: It's you! [disgust] It's you! Oh, my god. They're playing with your guts.

Healy: They split me wide open. Why, you animals? Why? That is too much to heal.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary puts Healy inside a fax machine to stealthy get out to hell]

Gary Bunda: [acting] Hey, I just got to take the old machine topside. Getting standard maintenance done to her.

Gary Bunda: [normal voice] For some reason these photocopy repair places aren't down here. They're always up there.

Gary Bunda: [normal voice] You know how it is with photocopiers 'cause you're always using them and they, like, need maintenance pretty much standardly all the time. So I'm just taking her topside with it.

Gary Bunda: [normal voice] Taking her topside.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Healy: Help me get my body, and I will take you to my home planet. We have a tree that grow your favorite food.

Gary Bunda: You mean to tell me you've got a tree that just grows pad thai?

Healy: Yeah, and we have horny sex robots that exist only to please you. All nude. Triple X.

Dizzay: I -- I wanna go. I wanna go.

Gary Bunda: No, no, no, no, shut your mouth.

Eddie: I'll do it. I'll go. I'll go.

Gary Bunda: Let me ask him. Shut up! [to Healy] They do handjobs?

Healy: Well, they'll do anything. You can get more than handjobs.

Gary Bunda: But tell me, they got, like, real hands, right? And not, like, just claws -- They're not gonna rip off my dick and balls?

Healy: Handjob, pad thai, done. Are we good to go?

Troy: Uh, you know what. You're gonna take me, too, because, otherwise, I'm gonna tell Satan.

Healy: That's blackmail.

Gary Bunda: Please don't do this.

Troy: You're also fixing my eyesight 'cause you know what? I'm sick of wearing these glasses.

Healy: Okay, bend down here.

[Healy magically heals Troy's face into corn]

Gary Bunda: What did you do that to him?

Healy: He was a liability. So I turned his face into corn.

Gary Bunda: Alright, well I'm gonna go pack my stapler, and then we can get out of here.

Healy: Leave the stapler. My planet has plenty of staplers.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Healy: [synthesized voice] Hello, Gary.

Gary Bunda: Oh, look at that, he made a little translator!

Healy: I'm not sure what part of your planet this is, but I want to go home.

Troy: Well, guess what, I want to go home. [to Gary] This guy wants to go home. Everybody here wants to go home!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Healy rips out Troy's demon software]

Troy: He's destroying my computer!

Gary Bunda: You said that it was running slow, and so he's fixing it.

Troy: He's ripping his intestines out.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Healy disguises as William by using William's skin]

Gary Bunda: Hey, shh! Healy, you're in disguise. Stop drawing attention to yourself!

[Troy comes in]

Troy: What the hell are you guys doing?

Gary Bunda: Nothing, just hanging out with our friend William. You know, just -- Just chilling down.

Troy: That ain't William.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[All the employees eating organic vegetables that Healy made]

Eddie: I feel like my whole body is filling with energy.

Gary Bunda: Yeah, I guess that's what happens when you eat something besides chalk for a change.

Dizzay: Where you get chalk from?

Gary Bunda: I get it from the conference room. That's why there ain't no chalk, baby.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[As Gary and Dizzay were about to saw Healy, Healy heals plants onto the surface]

Dizzay: Gary, look!

Gary Bunda: What is it?

Dizzay: I don't know, man -- Looks like plants or something.

Gary Bunda: It's weed!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary share his moments with Healy before they cut Healy in half]

Gary Bunda: [voice breaking] I don't want to do this. I know you're special, and you're my little peanut that I want to keep in a little basket. But they don't care that you're special or that you're cute or that you're my little peanut.

Gary Bunda: [voice breaking] Dizzay? Hold his big-ass weird feet.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Hey! What's going on? Eddie's been down here for 45 minutes. He's completely unblemished.

Gary Bunda: Well, that's because Healy's been healing him with his healing powers, ya knucklehead!

Satan: Healy?

Gary Bunda: Healy is short for Healifer, and I am his Earth father. And it's amazing! It's proof that there's life in outer space!

Satan: Yeah, I'm not really into sci-fi.

Gary Bunda: It's not sci-fi. It's just sci!

Satan: Will you do me a favor? Will you cut his head off and stick it on a spike and then slice his body up into pieces and make him eat the pieces?

Gary Bunda: He's proof that there's life-force out in the universe! He made my whip into a licorice whip with a peppermint handle.

Satan: Healy, huh?

Gary Bunda: Yeah.

Satan: Yeah, come here, Healy. Heal this, huh.

[Healy heals Satan's hair]

Gary Bunda: Whoa! That's awesome!

Satan: [surpised] He gave me hair.

Gary Bunda: You look like Willy Wonka's coke dealer.

[Satan eats his new hair]

Satan: Gave me licorice hair.

Gary Bunda: He gave you licorice hair!

Satan: Cut his head off.

Gary Bunda: No, he's from Zeta Reticulum!

Satan: Cut his finger off, too, and make him eat it.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Healy uses his finger to heal Eddie's wounds after being whipped by Gary]

Gary Bunda: [to Healy] Oh, my god. You healed all of Eddie's wounds! Alright, do it again.

[Gary wents back to whipping Eddie, while Healy heals Eddie's wounds for fun]

Gary Bunda: Because you healed Eddie's wounds, I'm gonna call you... Healy.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Dizzay sees a alien]

Dizzay: Damn, you ugly, son! Now you're in hell?! Some people can't catch a break.

[as Dizzay was about to rip the alien's guts out]

Gary Bunda: No, no, no, no, Dizzay, no! This guy's an alien from outer space! He's a Gray! He's here to promote peace. He's here to save the universe! And he doesn't belong here.

Troy: Hey, X-Files! If you die on earth, you don't believe in Jesus, you get the hook. Now hook him!

Dizzay: See, that's what I'm talking about.

[Gary stops Dizzay from ripping the alien's guts again]

Gary Bunda: No, no, no! I will not face the wrath of the Intergalactic Committee. And I refuse to gut any more molesters until you bring him down.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Healy: Greeting Earthlings. We bring a message of --

[Healy gets shot from a kid]

Kid #1: Where'd did you get that gun?

Kid #2: My Dad's nightstand.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: A mother's job is never done.

[Gary pulled his shirt to squirt blood from his nipples for Chron to feed]

Gary Bunda: Luckily, the restaurant's always open.

Troy: Oh, my god. You feed it just blood? That's gross.

Gary Bunda: Oh, I bet you would want to put Chron on formula from those corporate overloads. Well, the milk from my breast is filled with iron, and it's going to make my son strong. 'Cause when you're a mother, you're a mother 24/7...

[Gary passes out]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: What is that smell?

Gary Bunda: It's your son. His name is Chron. [to Chron] He's made a poopy, haven't you?

Satan: Get it out of here.

Gary Bunda: Uh, he's not an "it." He is a unique snowflake.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: If a torture is being eaten by maggots, it is counterproductive to then stick him in acid. It kills the maggots. Think. That is a waste of maggots.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[After Gary's baby was out of his womb, he starts to attack Troy]

Troy: HE's RIPPING MY F***ING FACE OFF!

Gary Bunda: DON'T YOU CURSE IN FRONT MY SON! I WANT CHRON TO BE RAISED IN A NURTURING ENVIRONMENT!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Did you happen to bring a whole canteen of soup in here and spill it all over my knees?

Troy: Why would I have a canteen of soup?!

[Gary's water broke that pulls out his baby while stranded inside the elevator]

Gary Bunda: Where'd he go? I'm a mommy! [laughs]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: I made you an appointment with a great obstetrician. Troy, I want you to escort Mama Bear topside.

Gary Bunda: Thank you so much.

Satan: Thank you. [kisses Gary] Now, go. Go. Bring me back my son.

Gary Bunda: I will.

Satan: Can't wait. Love you.

Gary Bunda: I love you.

[while Gary and Troy are inside the elevator]

Gary Bunda: You know, I'm just impressed as to how well Satan is taking everything.

[Satan turns off the elevator]

Gary Bunda: Oh, no, Troy. Make sure you call the OB/GYN and tell him we're gonna be late for the appointment. He is so hard to book. Oh, this is so funny.

Troy: [realizes what trap he got into] There's no OB/GYN, Gary.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: I may be dead and in Hell, but now I have a reason to live. [to his demon baby] And so do you. [to Satan] You're gonna be a daddy. What do you think, Papa?

Satan: You kept this from me. Are you insane? I'm gonna be a daddy? [crying] That's my boy inside there!

[Gary and Satan both sob]

Satan: That's my boy!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: What is that?

Gary Bunda: It's a magazine. I mean, print media is on its way up, but I'm pretty surprised how quickly you've forgotten.

Satan: Not the magazine, you moron. THE MODEL! SHE SHOULD BE SHOWING -- NINE MONTHS PREGNANT!

Gary Bunda: Oh, she's showing. She's got a baby bump right there.

Satan: NO! THAT'S BABY FAT!

Gary Bunda: [crying] Stop yelling at me.

Satan: FOOL!

Gary Bunda: [crying] You don't know what's happening to me. I'm a hippo!

Satan: What -- What's going on here?

Gary Bunda: Nothing.

Troy: [to Satan] You accidentally crawled inside Gary's butt, and now he's having your baby, sir.

Gary Bunda: Troy, you vegan asshole!

Troy: He ought to know.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: There is a life force growing inside of my guts. [voice breaking] It's the biggest responsibility that I've ever had. And if Satan thinks that he can hurt one hair on my little soldier's head, then he's gonna have Mama Gary to deal with.

Troy: You're an idiot. Satan's gonna kill you and your butt baby.

Gary Bunda: Our butt baby.

Gary Bunda: I hope it comes out my butt.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Dr. Mengle: You are pregnant.

Gary Bunda: How is that even possible?

Troy: Satan turned into a snake and penetrated your butt, remember?

Dr. Mengle: Half its DNA is a turd. It's penis is hard and sharp, like a roofing nail. Do you want to keep this monstrosity?

Troy: No, no, we don't need to do that. We'll just scoop this guy out, dump him in the toilet, and call it a day.

Gary Bunda: MY BODY, MY DECISION!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Hey there, fellas. What's crack-a-lacking?

Eddie: Oh, nothing. We're just hanging out, shooting the sh*t.

Gary Bunda: Really?

Eddie: Yeah.

Gary Bunda: It seems like you guys are just out here talking about your yoga routines and just PURPOSELY EXCLUDING ME!

Dizzay: Come on, Gary, it ain't like that, man.

Gary Bunda: Really? How else are my feelings wrong? What, are you like the little conductor for my emotions, and I should feel how it is you think it's appropriate for me to feel?

Dizzay: Okay.

Gary Bunda: Well, maybe if there was a little bit more communication in this circle of "friends" that I thought I was a spoke of...

Eddie: Shut up.

Gary Bunda: Do any of you even like me for me?

Benji: Gary? Gary, we like you. It's just, lately, you've just been acting like a...

Gary Bunda: Like what?

Troy: Like a little bitch.

Dizzay: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Gary Bunda: I'M A BITCH?! [to Dizzay] YOU'RE A BITCH. [to Troy] YOU'RE A BITCH. [to Eddie] YOU'RE A BIG, FLOPPY, DUMB, WET BITCH! EVERY ONE OF YOU! [crying] I'm sorry. What am I? [Gary makes a wave gesture with his hand] I'm doing this.

Troy: Yeah, a little bit.

Gary Bunda: I don't know what's wrong -- [vomits on his employees]

Eddie: Gary, are you okay?

Gary Bunda: I think I'm fine. I just maybe --

Dizzay: Whatever it is, you going like a mother.

Gary Bunda: F*** you!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Eddie: In between scrotum gougings, I've been doing Pilates. I don't know if you've noticed. It helps with my flexibility.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: [chuckling] Oh, hey, guys. What's up, man?

Troy: Hey.

Satan: Great job yesterday, man. That Cheryl, she was feisty. I still cannot get her stink off of me. She was really nasty.

Satan: Hey, listen, Gary, you do me a favor, take care of all that prenatal sh*t with Cheryl, 'cause I'd do it, but, you know...don't want to.

Troy: [to Satan] And why should you?

Satan: Yeah.

[Gary gives Satan a thumbs up while still being desperate about the sex incident]

Satan: Cool. I got to jump. Teamwork makes the dream work.

[Satan leaves]

Troy: [to Gary] You better tell him. He's gonna find out Cheryl isn't pregnant.

Gary Bunda: Why don't you f***ing do something? You know? I got raped by a snake.

Troy: I was there.

Gary Bunda: Let's have a worse day competition.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[after the impregnate incident Gary got caught in]

Troy: Gary. [chuckling] Pretty crazy stuff, huh? Satan... [blows raspberry] ...going up your pants. Did he get all the way in? 'Cause I saw him come out of your mouth, so i just assumed...he went all the way through there.

Gary Bunda: Seriously. Don't...want to talk about it.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Satan turns into a snake]

Satan: Alright. Let the impregnating begin.

Troy: [to Cheryl] Okay, why don't you just hop over on all fours and wiggle that ass, okay, honey?

[Cheryl turns and moves her butt around]

Satan: Hey, oh, I can't see. Point me towards the hoo-ha. I want some of that punani.

Gary Bunda: I'm gonna light the candles.

[As Gary light the candles, Satan mistakenly crawled into Gary's butt instead]

Satan: [referring to Cheryl] Give me some of that sugar-sugar. Look, I found a warm hole.

[As Satan went inside Gary's butt, Gary has a massive amount of farts, and making his body go wild while doing the impregnating]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: When do we use this crucifix filled with the semen of a thousand murderers?

Satan: [laughing] Oh. Did you do that? [laughs]

[Gary flashbacks of what he does with the crucifix]

VC: Thank you, Gary.

Gary Bunda: Oh, you're really tossing some ropes there, V.C. You know what's weird is that I never really took you for a murder, though.

VC: I screwed a guy on a land deal once, but that's about it.

Gary Bunda: I said only murderers, V.C. NOW YOU SULLIED THE VIAL! Now I got to start over!

[Gary's flashback ends]

Satan: How many guys?

Gary Bunda: 1,000.

Satan: 1,000. [laughs]

[Satan and Troy both laugh]

Troy: That is...that's good! [laughs]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: So, um, what's gonna happen?

Troy: Yeah, how's this work? I'm unclear, too.

Satan: Uh, yeah, I'm going to enter her as a serpent. I'm gonna inject her with my venom, which contains my seed. It's uh... [chuckles] Stuff's pretty potent. I could impregnate a rock.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Hey, how are you doing?

Cheryl: Hi!

Satan: Yeah, do me a favor. You open your robe?

Cheryl: Uh, more?

Satan: Yep. Lick your lips.

[Cheryl tries to lick his lips]

Satan: Maybe touch yourself a bit.

[Cheryl touches herself but still trying to in an awkward way]

Satan: Alright. We're here. Let's do it.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: [to Satan] So, this is Cheryl. If she asks you, you're Lenny Kravitz, and we're shooting a music video.

Cheryl: [to Satan] Oh, hi! I'm Cheryl.

Satan: [to Gary] That's not the woman we talked about.

Gary Bunda: Oh, yes, she is. Photoshop's crazy these days.

Satan: Really?

Gary Bunda: Yeah.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Troy: Is that the mom from the yogurt ad?

Gary Bunda: [refers to Satan's response for a supermodel] I couldn't get the underwear model.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Troy: What's with the Mardi Gras beads? We don't need all this.

Gary Bunda: This dirty, smelly cave was not sexy enough. I wanted it to be, like a nice. This kid's gonna be our boss one day.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Revelation says I'm supposed to have a son in 2143 and that he'll bring about Armageddon, the second coming of Jesus, and I...I don't know, I'm just, uh...I think I'm ready now.

Satan: Have my own son, you know? Hold him in my hands...look down into his black eyes.

Gary Bunda: So who's the lucky lady?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: You guys ever think about having a kid?

Gary Bunda: No.

Troy: Down here?

Gary Bunda: Absolutely not.

Troy: [to Satan] You out of your mind?

Gary Bunda: [whimpering] Every day, no warmth, no hope.

Troy: That'd be the worst thing I could ever do.

Gary Bunda: [whimpering] Be surrounded by monsters.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary, Troy, and Satan relaxing on a sailboat ride]

Troy: Ooh, it sure is nice to get out of the office for the day, sir.

Gary Bunda: It's like the south of France, except it's a big barf lagoon filled with corpses.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Like, whoa. Lookit down there.

[sees a woman at the bar]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: [flirts] Me-ouse. Meouse.

– 12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

Rhoda: You robbed a bank?

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Hell, yeah.

Rhoda: You boys are wild.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Yes, we are.

Rhoda: [laughs] I mean, you boys are like "WILD" wild, you know what I mean?

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: I mean, completely wild at a wildness, wildy, and I salute you.

[They both salute]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Yes, sir.

– 12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

Rhoda: [to Mouse] What are you celebrating here? Your outstanding gayness?

– 12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: [talks about the square guy] My head. That guy was such a dork. We should rob that bank.

– 12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

[Fitz took the square guy to a unknown house apartment]

Rectangular Businessman: Wait a second. This isn't Cheese Industries.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: It's about to be. You should take off your shirt.

Rectangular Businessman: What?

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Just lie down on the bed. Ok, and roll camera. And action.

[Fitz gives the square guy the sex doll, but doesn't play with it]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Action. Come on now.

Rectangular Businessman: Although this is a comfortable bed.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Kiss it.

Rectangular Businessman: I don't think this is Cheese Industries.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Kiss it. Squeeze it.

– 12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Hey, why don't you feel around back there and grab me a beer?

Rectangular Businessman: But you're driving.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Was driving. Sitting back here with you now.

– 12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: You like porno?

Rectangular Businessman: Well, uh...

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Look at this.

[Fitz shows square guy a sex doll]

Rectangular Businessman: Um, I don't have any eyes.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Oh, man. Sucks for you.

– 12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: What do you want?

Rectangular Businessman: I have an appointment at Cheese Industries.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: So?

Rectangular Businessman: I'd like to hire you to drive me there.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: No talking. Pay.

Rectangular Businessman: How much in the world is it?

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: [serious] Get in.

– 12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

Shark: How about now?

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Yes, how about now?

Shark: Yeah, now's good. Before would have been better, but before is over.

– 12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

Shark: [to Mouse] Drive him to cheese industries. You don't even know where that is. That's why we picked you, because everybody else knows.

– 12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

Dr. Wang: I'm going to sleep with your wife!

– Minoriteam  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: I got a whole vanload of gamer kids just swollen with Mountain Dew, like, right over there. So come on. Let's go.

Krampus: [giggles]

Gary Bunda: Yeah, yeah. They're right in there. Just way in the back.

[Krampus sees no gamer kids in the van]

Krampus: GUMPHANICKEL, YOU LIED!

Gary Bunda: [shoves Krampus] GET IN THERE!

[Gary gets in the van while pointing a middle finger to Krampus]

Gary Bunda: [to Claude] GO, GO, GO! BURN IT!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Dizzay: We made a North Carolina vinegar sauce, but it's not holding the brisket together. So what I want to do is make a cool red berm here, you know, to keep the pulled pork out of the vodka.

Dizzay: But this says make benches out of coleslaw. How the hell you make a bench out of a coleslaw?

Satan (Darren): Just do it. Satan wills it. [possibly referring to Kip the Real Satan]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Dizzay: What happened to Gary and Troy?

Satan (Darren): Oh, uh, they, uh, were both eating Chinese food and running, and they both tripped and chopsticks went up their nose at the same time.

[Dizzay makes a worried concern expression that he already knows what Satan done to them]

Dizzay: Oh. Okay.

Satan (Darren): Yeah.

Dizzay: Alright.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Troy: Your secret is totally safe with me, sir, but what are we gonna do about Gary? He's gonna blab to everybody. You know that he will.

Gary Bunda: Hey, Darren, what's up? Listen, it was mind blowing watching you bow down to that big fat guy. I was just like, "What is even happening here," you know?

Satan (Darren): Yeah, it was pretty crazy.

Gary Bunda: But it's kind of nice 'cause it's like I can relax around you, you know?

Satan (Darren): [chuckles] I'll bet, yeah. [to Gary and Troy] You guys like Chinese?

Gary Bunda: Oh. [asian accent] Me rike Chinese.

[cuts to next scene where Gary and Troy get brutally bruised up while having chopsticks into one of their noses by Satan]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan (Darren): Oh! You did it, Kip! They're both in the slush! [laughs]

Real Satan (Kip): DOWN ON YOUR KNEES, DARREN! I AM NOW SATAN! ALL OF YOU BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!

Satan (Darren): Yeah, Kip. Uh, Satan. H-Hail Satan.

Real Satan (Kip): Build for me this barbecue pork canyon with vodka stream at once!

Satan (Darren): Whatever you want.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Real Satan: Oh, now, Eric, where are you trotting off to?

Eric: Come on, Satan. I mean, you should do it. It's all for your glory, right?

Real Satan: Well, why would I do that and get blown to bits? That doesn't make any...

[The Real Satan uses his demon powers to throw Eric off the cliff by falling into a lake of green slush]

Real Satan: [laughs] Oh, look at that! He's -- [screams]

[The Real Satan gets bumped by Kip's belly making him also fall into a lake of green slush]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Satan (Darren) was about to press the plunger to merge circles until he changed his mind]

Satan (Darren): Uh, I'd like to have Gary, uh, come up and do it. Gary, come on up.

Gary Bunda: I don't want to do it. [runs away]

Satan (Darren): Get your ass up here!

Gary Bunda: I won't do it!

Satan (Darren): Troy!

Troy: I got to get something! [runs away also]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Troy and I set up the explosives, so they're gonna go off right underneath the plunger. All systems are go, Darren.

Satan (Darren): What?

Gary Bunda: Is it cool with you, Dar, if I call you Dar? Short for Darren.

Satan (Darren): No.

Gary Bunda: 'Cause the real Satan's here. Darren.

Satan (Darren): I'm... [struggling to pull Gary's dick off]

Gary Bunda: No, don't pull it off.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: [to Kip] Hi, I'm Gary. And I don't have a business card but I do have this napkin all covered with honey mustard, and it's got my name on it so you can remember it.

Gary Bunda: And I will take down a rack of ribs right in front of you if you want me to.

Kip: Actually, in Gluttony, we devour our own excrement. Is that something you'd be interested in, or...

Gary Bunda: No.

Kip: Sure?

Gary Bunda: No, it's disgusting.

Kip: I'll call you if you are inter--

Gary Bunda: You know what? Actually, let me just -- I don't have a lot of these. [shows a bunch of napkins smeared with honey mustard] So, thank you.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan (Darren): You know what's gonna happen now? You see all this slush? All of this is about to be our circle. We're gonna be swimming in this stuff.

Troy: I'll tell you what you do. You just go kill Eric and you take over his circle. You'd beat Treachery at his own game.

Satan (Darren): I like it. I'm in.

[cuts to next scene where Troy tell Eric that Satan gonna kill him]

Troy: Darren's gonna kill you tonight.

Eric: I knew that. I also knew that you would come blabbing to me about it.

Troy: Still though. Pretty treacherous. Yeah, I just thought I'd show you how I'd be perfect for your inner circle.

Eric: Well, we prize loyalty above all.

Eric: [laughs] I'm kidding. You got a card?

Troy: Oh!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: [drunk] Well, what are we gonna do, Darren?

Satan (Darren): I said to call me Satan!

Gary Bunda: [drunk] It may be the pee-pee talking, but I'm telling how it is.

Satan (Darren): Shut up. Shut up.

Gary Bunda: And if I'm gonna be sitting all day with a bunch of people who are not who they say they are, then I'm gonna have some appetizers.

Satan (Darren): [to Bartender] Cut him off, alright?

[The Bartender takes Gary's drink away from him]

Gary Bunda: [drunk] Oh, whoa.

Satan (Darren): [to Bartender] Give it back to him. It'll be worse.

Gary Bunda: [drunk] Might as well just order some appetizers.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Troy: So -- So we're just a circle?

Satan (Darren): You know in a public school when they've overflow and they've got those trailers?

Troy: We're the trailer kids?

Satan (Darren): We're the trailer kids.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Troy: All in all, it was a pretty dynamic presentation.

Satan (Darren): Let's not talk about it.

Gary Bunda: I just can't believe your real name's Darren and you're not really Satan. You've been lying this whole time.

Satan (Darren): Hey, you call me Satan. [looks both ways] But not in front of the real Satan, you got it?

Gary Bunda: We got it.

Satan (Darren): Yeah.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Eric: Darren, the pulled pork is gonna get soggy with my slush, man.

Satan (Darren): Uh, slush?

Eric: Oh, when I -- When I take over your circle, we're flooding your entire area with my vile, inescapable slush, D.

Real Satan: We have to streamline. We're folding Miscellaneous into Treachery, and we've appointed Eric to head up that circle.

Satan (Darren): No! [chuckles] Miscellaneous, that's -- Uh, that's my circle.

Eric: Well, it was your circle, but, uh, I had some guys do a 3-D simulation of how the merger's actually gonna go down, so...

Real Satan: Yeah, it's --

Eric: It's behind you.

[the presentation shows a 3-D simulation of Eric blowing up Satan's circle covered in green slush ooze]

Eric: Boom! [laughs] Look at you, Darren, running.

Real Satan: At midnight, we are going to explode the ridge between the two circles, and two will become one!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Darren tries to do a speech about planning Radical Islam]

Satan (Darren): How are we going to deal with the recent influx of radical jihadists? I have a multi-pronged -- Uh, t-- At least two prongs to the problem, hopefully. W-When I speak, I'm -- I'm --

[Gary and Troy shows up for the Circle]

Satan (Darren): [pretends] How...dare you interrupt my presentation, you lowly imps! But since you did, you should plug in the USB cord into that computer.

[Gary gives the computer to Satan for the presentation of Radical Islam]

Satan (Darren): Here we go. First slide, here we go. Behold.

[the slide shows a presentation of a gay married picture of Radical Islam]

Satan (Darren): The f*** am I looking at?

Gary Bunda: [whispering] We're gonna gay marry them. We're gonna put them all in burqas so they don't know who they're gay married to.

Satan (Darren): We are gonna gay marry them. We're gonna dress them up in burqas --

Gary Bunda: So they don't know who they're gay married --

Satan (Darren): ...they don't know who they've gay married then.

Real Satan: I-I don't -- Do we really want to incite them, Darren?

Troy: Darren? Who's Darren?

Satan (Darren): It's a nickname.

Eric: They are well organized and highly motivated, Darren. They dug a tunnel into purgatory, stoned a bunch of dudes.

Kip: Yeah, and one of them hid a knife under his own leg bone. They are hard core, Darren.

Gary Bunda: [to Satan] But they won't be doing that when they're too busy having gay sex with each other.

Satan (Darren): Next slide. Just go to the next slide.

[Gary clicks the next slide]

Satan (Darren): So, as you can see, we are going to contain these jihadists in a canyon surrounded by brown spikes.

Gary Bunda: Pork. It's pulled pork.

Satan (Darren): [tired] Pulled pork.

Satan (Darren): And -- And it's covered, as you can see, with blood.

Gary Bunda: Barbecue sauce.

Satan (Darren): Barbecue sau-- Barbecue blood sau-- Bloody barbecue sauce.

Gary Bunda: No, it's regular barbecue.

Satan (Darren): No, it's regular barbecue sauce.

Troy: Muslims don't eat pork. And...they don't drink.

Gary Bunda: Which is why what we're gonna do that is put a stream of vodka throughout the whole valley. They'll hate that.

Satan: [to Gary] Hit the next slide.

Gary Bunda: There are no more slides.

Troy: That's our last slide.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Kip: And thanks to the good work of our mascot, Cornelius J. Cornchip, doing snack cake giveaways in third-world countries, I'm glad to say that Gluttony is leading the way to a more diverse path in 2016.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan (Darren): [to Troy on phone] I need a PowerPoint presentation on meeting the challenges of radical Islam. I need it 20 minutes and it takes 10 minutes to get here.

Troy: Uh, sure, yeah. No problem. Where are you?

Satan (Darren): North of Diarrhea Lagoon, past Pus Valley.

Troy: Past Pus Valley? Isn't that the edge of Hell?

Satan (Darren): Yeah, there's uh, there's more Hell. I'll explain when you get here. Just don't be late.

Troy: Yes. Yes, sir.

[Troy puts the phone away]

Troy: [to Kamal] Answer your own f***ing phone next time.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Troy answers Kamal's phone while he still has chop sticks up his nose]

Troy: What?

Satan (Darren): Kamal? Who is this?

Troy: It's Satan! Everybody whip!

[all the demons pretend to do the whip cracking to make it sound like a real whipping]

Troy: Hi, Satan!

Satan (Darren): Kamal.

Troy: No, it's Troy. You're gonna have to talk a little louder because of ALL THE WHIPPING!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Real Satan: Darren, I'm very excited to hear about what we're gonna do about radical Islam.

Satan (Darren): Uh... [chuckles] No, no. I'm -- I'm doing, uh, "Things Up the Ass in 2016." I've got this great --

Eric: No. No, no, no. Terry in Lust is doing "Things Up the Ass." D-D-Did you not get the e-mail?

Satan (Darren): Uh, radical Islam. I can -- Two hours, right?

Eric: Nope. Nope, nope. Moved it up. It's in 20 minutes.

Satan (Darren): [clears throat while doing hand movements]

Eric: You really got to check your e-mail, bud.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Kamal: I have a question. Why do you praise yourself in the third person?

Satan: Well, obvious I'm Satan, so that's uh -- That's a joke.

Kamal: Oh.

Satan: Satan like the ladies. Satan don't play that. You know, that's all.

Kamal: I get. But what about this on the first slide? Why does it say that your name is Darren? [worried] Is that also comedy?

Satan (Darren): Darren's such a ridiculous name. You ever -- Ever use these?

Kamal: Chop sticks? Yeah, you know, d-depending on the cuisine sometimes.

Satan (Darren): Just had some Chinese food. I had some, uh, moo shu pork.

Kamal: Oh, moo shu's a real funny -- Funny name.

Satan: Yeah, it's funny. I can still smell the moo shu. Do you smell that? Yeah?

Kamal: Like soy sauce?

Satan: Mhmm.

Kamal: And I'm getting a little ginger, maybe turmeric?

Satan: Oh, there you go. Yeah.

[Satan forcefully shoves the chop sticks up Kamal's nose]

Satan: Oh, wait, uh, where's the clicker thing? I need the click--

Kamal: [strained muttering while pointing towards the record player]

Satan: Attaboy.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: The newer tablets are portable and thinner than ever, but not so small when being forced inside a human rectum.

Satan: [to Kamal] Slide.

[Kamal slides Satan's card presentations]

Satan: And of course, the classics -- Curling irons, lava, spikes, popcorn. We're shoving the most cutting-edge technology up people's asses, and now with 3-D printers, the only limit is our imagination.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: [to Shark on phone] Hello?

Shark: Did you found my record?

[cuts to next scene where Mouse finds a random severed hand]

Shark: You found it, didn't you?

Shark: Now, spin it.

– 12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

Roostre: You know radar is spelled backwards is radar. Did you know that?

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: [pauses]

Roostre: You're thinkin' about it ain't ya?

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Maybe.

– 12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

[Fitz shoots one of Shark's cameras inside his house]

Shark: Now, little guy's cameraphobic. Should have known.

– 12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

[Gary and Benji watch their last orientation video for over 50 years]

Gary Bunda (as Satan): [rapping] Straight Outta The Alphabet. That's the name of this cassette. Can I buy a vowel? You know you got five. Unless you want to count sometimes "Y". As in the question...

Gary Bunda: [muffled] You know what is most surprising of all?

Benji: [muffled] What?

Gary Bunda: [muffled] I sound black.

Benji: [muffled] You do.

Gary Bunda: I really sound black.

Gary Bunda: [muffled] If I could close my eyes, I would be like, "Is that Harley Davidson Jr.?" I can't think of a black man's name right now, I'm in too much pain.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary and Benji see the final result of the Alphabet video on cinema]

Gary Bunda: You guys are in for a show. [chuckles] Where's everybody else?

Satan: Oh, no, it's just you two. Let's get 'em strapped in.

[Gary and Benji have been strapped into their watching torture chambers to see their video for a long time]

Satan: I've got some, uh, eye drops here in case you guys need a little moisture.

Gary Bunda: [muffled] I can't reach the eye droppers.

Satan: And, uh, we'll see you guys in, like, 50 years.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Benji: No cuts, three cameras -- Like a telethon. [to Gary] And we need to repair your instrument. I need some hot tea with lemon -- ASAP!

Dizzay: We ain't got no lemons down here.

Benji: There's a whole box of lemons over by Paper Cuts.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary makes another letter orientation video in the Hot Liquids]

Gary Bunda: [rapping hoarsely] Two of these and the name Jeff. And that's my rhyme about the letter "F".

Gary Bunda: [hoarsely] Cut! Alright, we nailed it. Okay. Alright, everybody, um...alright, action. We need action on the other set. Quiet on this different set. Action on the other set, though. Alright, so action -- Other set.

VC (as Princess Leia): [rapping] Straight Outta The Letter "C". It sound like the letter "D"

Gary Bunda: Who's rapping incoherently?

VC (as Princess Leia): I'm rapping.

Gary Bunda: Why are you rapping?

VC (as Princess Leia): You called action.

Gary Bunda: I called action on the other set, V.C.!

VC: Oh, I --

Gary Bunda: Alright, yes. You are wrong, I am right. [coughs] Next, we're gonna be doing the letter "G," as in ghost." So...action on the other-other set.

VC (as Princess Leia): [rapping] It sound like the letter "C".

Gary Bunda: I swear to Christ, V.C., I'm gonna split you in half.

VC (as Princess Leia): [rapping] It sound like the letter "D".

Gary Bunda: You are FIRED! YOUR -- YOUR OLD ASS IS FIRED! EVERYBODY'S FIRED! YOU are fired, YOU are fired, YOU are fired, YOU are fired, YOU are fired, YOU are fired -- Everybody's fired! [sobs] I'm fired.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Hey, listen, Gar, I hate to tell you this, but I badly need more of these videos.

Gary Bunda: Oh, sure thing, B. How many you need? You know I love to work.

Satan: I need a Straight Outta video for every letter of the alphabet.

Gary Bunda: All 20...?

Satan: 26...uh, of the letters.

Gary Bunda: 26.

Satan: Straight Outta A, Straight Outta B...you get it. I want 'em all.

Gary Bunda: Cool -- Cool 'mo B, absolutely.

Satan: Alright.

Gary Bunda: I'm gonna -- Yeah.

Satan: Hit it.

Gary Bunda: Dizzy fo' shizzy, absolutely. Um, what is the deadline on all that?

Satan: Oh, tomorrow. I'm gonna screen them in the auditorium for everyone.

Gary Bunda: Do you mind if I ask, like, why the whole alphabet?

Satan: I mind.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Ted (as Princess Leia): [rapping] Straight Outta Understanding How to Log Into Your E-mail. You don't wanna have an E-mail fail. Are you gonna log onto your E-mail? Here's to logging into E-mail.

Gary Bunda: Okay, hang on. Cut, cut, cut, cut! Did you write these raps?

Ted (as Princess Leia): Yes, these are my rhymes.

Gary Bunda: Yeah, of course they rhyme It's because you're saying the same G.D. word, Ted! "You got to log into your E-mail. You're gonna be forced to eat a whole bunch of kale. Or you're gonna have to have sex with a she-male." You see what I'm saying?

Ted (as Princess Leia): Are we allowed to say "she-male"?

Gary Bunda: No, Ted, you pig! Did you not watch "Straight Outta Workplace Sensitivity Training"? The Force is not with you, my friend. Take the buns off! [as Yoda] A rapper you are not.

Gary Bunda: Y'all too white. E'rybody in this dang room is too white, but me. I'm the blackest man that's ever been. I'm as black as Oprah's pocketbook. Black as 85% Whole Foods dark chocolate!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

VC: And the "Straight Outta How to R-Repair the Network" video goes on this whole rigamarole about R2-D2 and C-T3P.

Satan: [pronouncing] C-3PO.

VC: I just didn't find any of that helpful.

Satan: Your fly is down.

VC: Oh. Excuse me. [zip]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Troy: Every one of these is "Straight Outta"?

Mike: [scoffs] That's what I'm saying.

Gary Bunda: What? How do you mean?

Troy: You could have done "Satan's Got Racks"...

Mike: [chuckles]

Troy: ...instead of "Baby's Got" -- like, "Baby's Got Back."

Mike: Yeah, that's -- That's pretty funny.

Troy: Yeah.

Mike: That's good.

Gary Bunda: But it's not.

Gary Bunda: I tell you what's funny, right? Straight Outta Videos! The Straight Outta brand is very simple. It is "Straight Outta" and then a bunch of words about different subjects, right, and the only things that are the same are the words "Straight Outta" and the melody and the rhymes for each song -- And the beat.

Troy: When did you have time to do all these?

Gary Bunda: I did not made any one of these. I just have the boxes.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: I'll tell you out here, this is "Straight Outta Making Walls Bleed." This is the new hot realness.

[Gary makes another orientation video again]

Gary Bunda (as Satan): [rapping] Straight Outta Making Walls Bleed. We're about to paint this joint crimson, indeed. Uh-huh.

Gary Bunda: Now, you're going to digitally add bleeding walls into that, right?

Mike: [tired] Yeah. Yes, I'm gonna do that.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary sees his process of his new orientation video in the editing room]

Gary Bunda (as Satan): [rapping] Staight Outta Summoning Snakes. Ya gotta do what it takes. Gotta raise the stakes when you're summoning snakes.

Gary Bunda: What are you doing? Damn it, Mike. Quit doing the cutaways to the snakes. Alright, I want you to stick to the close-up of me.

Mike: I thought maybe, uh, we should eventually get to the snake.

Gary Bunda: Why don't you turn that telephone cord that I'm playing with, obviously like a snake into some sort of snake?

Mike: I was wondering why...you couldn't just actually summon the snake in the video, uh, instead of having me do that with the phone.

Gary Bunda: I don't have time to watch a video that I haven't made yet to learn how to summon snakes, which I don't know how to do!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary makes another orientation video in the office]

Gary Bunda (as Satan): [rapping] Straight Outta Workplace Conflict Resolution. You better watch my elocution. Or you're gonna be facing workplace execution.

[Troy get bumped by the camera crew]

Troy: Ah, what?! Gary!

Gary Bunda (as Satan): I dropped my flow.

Troy: Gary! We're trying to work here!

Gary Bunda (as Satan): Uh, yeah, so am I, out here. I don't know if maybe you couldn't notice. And maybe if you watch the "Straight Outta Workplace Conflict Resolution" video when I'm done making it, you'll be able to handle these kind of situations.

Troy: Maybe you should make "Straight Outta Stop Being an Asshole and Dress Up Like a Doofus" and let people work.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[After Satan likes the new orientation video Gary made]

Satan: Benji, I want Gary in charge of all internal videos from now on.

Benji: But I run the video department.

Satan: Yeah, not anymore, Benji. You are going to Rapes.

[Benji pulled a interesting expression when he heard "Rapes"]

Satan: Wait a minute. You like Rapes. You're going to Hot Liquids.

[Benji drops down the happy expression]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: I've never seen anything like this, where you -- You take a famous song, and then you -- You spoof it, you know? A spoof?

Troy: "Weird" Al Yankovic.

Satan: I don't know who that is.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[After the demons are done watching the new orientation tape video]

Satan: So, what did everybody think of this?

Gary Bunda: There's like three more minutes of it.

Satan: Okay, we don't -- Yeah, we get -- We get the idea.

Troy: I don't understand at all what Batman...much less, uh, a peripheral villain of his has to do with our organization.

Troy: I can count at least seven or eight different licensing issues we're gonna have -- Music, character usage.

Troy: I also think it's weird that the song is "Straight Outta Hades," and this is directed towards people who are coming into Hades!

Satan: I thought it was really dope.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary plays the new orientation tape video]

Gary Bunda (as Satan): [rapping] Straight Outta Hades. Crazy motherf***er named Satan. Hit your knees and start to felatin'. When you meet me, you best greet me. Or I'll put my horse hoof up your cheap seat.

Gary Bunda (as Satan): [rapping] Paid time off, there is none. Health benefits, you get one. Everyone here gets to live forever. And I'm grating your brain like a block of cheddar.

Caleb: [painfully shredded] Yeah, boyyy.

Gary Bunda (as Satan): Or Gouda!

Benji: I had nothing to do with this.

Satan: You're in it.

Benji: What?

Satan: You're in it.

Benji: Huh?

[the demons sees Benji on the music video]

Benji: [rapping] Straight Outta Hades, dawg. You see any ladies? William and VC's the only ones twerkin'. So the masturbating spider is jerkin' HARD. He's the head of HR.

Gary Bunda: [to Benji] This guy is the dopest motherf***er I've ever met in my life.

Benji: I'm a -- I'm a team player.

Gary Bunda (as Satan): The commode. That's where your face goes. When Satan is waiting to explode with a load. No one can save you, not even Bruce Wayne. And if you don't believe me why don't you ask Bane.

Ted (as Bane): [muffled rapping]

Gary Bunda (as Satan): We got Bane!

Satan: Who is this? Who's this guy with the tubes coming out of his face?

Gary Bunda: That's Bane. That's Batman's bisexual nemesis. Yeah, and he may be a little difficult to understand, but what he's saying is, [deep voice] He'll be bringing the thunder down on Boy Wonder. And then you have permission to die."

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[After Mr. Neighbor inhaling his demons he conquered]

Mr. Neighbor: Whoo! [chuckles] So, you see, I don't have any demons or repressions or any of that silly stuff. All I have is good memories.

Mr. Neighbor: I'll see you at my birthday party, Donna the Mystic. Thanks for trying.

[Mr. Neighbor leaves happily like there's nothing happening]

Donna the Mystic: Ugh. That's gonna manifest in a cold sore.

Todd the Demon: I know, right?

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Donna the Mystic: Start answering questions! Listen to your demons!

Mr. Neighbor: There are no demons to talk about!

Donna the Mystic: Set yourself free from the hell within you!

Demon 2: Clearly, the floral purse is about your mo--

[Mr. Neighbor starts go into demon mode]

Mr. Neighbor: I AM THE FATHER AND THE SON AND THE FATHER OF THE SON! MY SEED IS THE ALL OF THE EVERYTHING!

[Mr. Neighbor inhales the demons into his mouth intensely]

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Mr. Neighbor: Why would I want a pocketbook? There's no reason I'm a man. That would make a man who has a pocketbook?

Donna the Mystic: It mean you have a man with a repressed connection to a pocketbook.

Mr. Neighbor: No. No.

Demon 2: Listen to her.

Demon 1: Look up here, you little bald bitch.

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Todd the Demon: Yo, bros, what's the 411 with our mental landlord here?

Demon 1: [scoffs]

Demon 2: Not now, Todd.

Demon 1: Come on, Todd. Nobody says, "What's the 411?" anymore.

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Donna the Mystic: Hey, Jim, you summoned a demon of your own creation. Deal with it.

Demon 1: Don't even bother. We've been trying to get this guy to deal with us for years. He's a coward.

Demon 2: Let me guess. Floral purse. Floral purse.

Demon 1: Again. [laughs]

Demon 2: Look at him. He won't even look at us.

Demon 1: It's literally the definition of repression.

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Donna the Mystic: [correcting Mr. Neighbor] You have demons inside of you.

Mr. Neighbor: Well, if I have demons inside of me, how come my stomach doesn't hurt?

Donna the Mystic: That's not how demons work. They live in the lungs.

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Donna the Mystic: If you bury painful desires, they will become horrible demons inside you -- INSIDE YOUR MIND!

Mr. Neighbor: Don't be silly mystic, Donna the Mystic.

[looks at the audience]

Mr. Neighbor: When you have bad feelings, the best thing to do is to shove them way down deep inside, that way you -- [pictures a scary face] Ohh!

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Donna the Mystic: Oh, ball of crystal, show us your convex images of Mr. Neighbor's truest wish.

[the Ball of Crystal shows a random purse]

Donna the Mystic: Of course! You want your mother.

Mr. Neighbor: No! No! I don't know what this is!

Donna the Mystic: Firstly, get your hands of my ball.

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Mr. Neighbor: Hello, Donna the Mystic. Today is my bi--

Donna the Mystic: Your birthday. But you don't know what to wish for.

Mr. Neighbor: Wow. You really are mystical.

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Jen: I have to finish delivering Mr. Neighbor's birthday invitations.

Officer Policecop: Well, I hate to slow you down there, Ms. Lady. You were doing 26 in a school zone.

Jen: I'm the only one who can help him.

[Jen grabs Officer's police stick]

Jen: [menacing] I'm the only one who cares.

[Jen beats Office Policecop nearly to death]

Jen: The only one! The only one! The only one! The only one!

Jen: See you at the party, Dad.

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: New orientation video.

Satan: Alright. Let's see it.

Gary Bunda: Now, before I play this, I just want you to know that it's not fully finalized. I'm not sure if this TV is color-calibrated or not.

Satan: Alright, cool. Just play it.

Gary Bunda: Um, just so you know, also, before I play it, there's some digital effects I'm waiting on. Um, and so when they come up, what I'm gonna do is I'll came them out and I'll describe them.

Satan: Yeah, I get it.

Gary Bunda: I wasn't sure whether to letterbox it or not. And I know --

[Satan throws the clipboard at Gary]

Satan: PLAY THE F***ING TAPE!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Caleb: I don't know why we have an orientation video. Seems like it's better if they're disoriented. Why don't we make a disoriental tape?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Benji: By now, you've met with one of our rusty whaling hooks and you have questions like, "What were my sins that landed me here?" "What sort of additional tortures should I expect?" Maybe you're thinking "Is there a way to escape?" Or "Would someone please return my intestines into my gaping stomach wound?"

Tortured Citizen: Is the boring video a part of the torture?

Gary Bunda: Shh. Quiet.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Benji: Hi, I'm Benji, and welcome to Hell. Hey, it could be worse! [laughs] I'm kidding. It could "not" be worse.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Dizzay: Gary! What's up, man?

Gary Bunda: Hey, psyche! I was a double agent the whole time! Yeah, Satan sent me to Heaven because he said I was the only demon that he could trust, so I accepted the burden.

Satan: You were the only one with and anal fissure big enough to hold three dudes and six tons of explosives.

Gary Bunda: That is true, as well.

Ubuntu: A video will explain everything at the end.

Gary Bunda: I KNOW THERE'S A VIDEO, UBUNTU!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary explains why Heaven was destructed]

Gary Bunda: There were demons in my ass that made me do this.

Scott: [happily] It has been very nice to have met you, and I wish you all the luck in your future endeavors.

Gary Bunda: We can maybe pray about this, huh?

[Gary gets sent back to hell]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Hey, guys. Hey, guys. Stop what you're doing. My stomachache's gone, Wendy.

Scott: Good news, bro.

Gary Bunda: Oh, wow! Jesus-Man! Kicking evil in the... [sees the comic quote has been changed] What's a Golfgroin?

Wendy: Standard wasn't comfortable with golf balls.

Gary Bunda: It's golf balls. They're everywhere around here. My grandmother says golf balls, alright? And she won't even say damn or pussy.

Scott: The groin is still edgy.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Alright. What do I got to do?

Claude: You just get around Heaven, moon some classified stuff. I'll take a few photos and that's it. Let's start with this column.

Gary Bunda: I don't really know why you got to take a picture of a load-bearing column, but --

[As Gary stand close to the column of his butt, Claude putted dynamite instead of taking photos]

Claude: Hey, Gar? What do you think? You think you could get your ass up near that support beam up there?

Gary Bunda: I guess I can just crawl up there and hang my ass off the balcony like I'm Spider-Man.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Claude, Benji, and Ubuntu punch and stomp Gary's butt to get Gary's attention]

Gary Bunda: I'm really sorry. This pew keep creaking.

Gary Bunda: I got to go golfing. Keep praying!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Dennis: Nice pottery, by the way.

Gary Bunda: Thank you so much. It's a soup tureen.

Dennis: We should have some soup later.

Gary Bunda: [laughs] I'd love that!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[The angel workers sees Gary doing inappropriate stuff to the statue]

Claudius: What are you doing, Gary?

Gary Bunda: I'm just marking my ball.

Claudius: Well, the course is way over there.

Gary Bunda: Oh, must have shanked it.

Claudius: Yeah, that's a term. I mean, it looks like you're taking a poop, so...no one wants to see your butt.

Gary Bunda: I'm made in God's image. Me and God have the same exact perfect butt. You criticizing God's butt?

Angel Employee: [gasps] Are you, Claudius? Are you criticizing God's butt?

Claudius: Of course I'm not criticizing God's butt.

Dennis: Claudius!

Angel Employee: It seemed like you were.

Claudius: I love God's butt.

Gary Bunda: Why don't you go whack some balls around? On the holes.

Claudius: They're called links.

Gary Bunda: So are sausages.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary makes a pottery object for him to take a dump without no one else watching]

Claude: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop! Wait! Wait, wait! Stop! Gary!

Gary Bunda: Claude?

[shows Claude hiding inside of Gary's butt]

Claude: Stop sh***ing me out of your butt.

Gary Bunda: C-Claude, you are not here.

Benji: Hey, Gar!

Gary Bunda: Benji! What are you doing down there?

Benji: I'm here in case something happens to Claude. And this mission is way too important.

Ubuntu: Hey, Gary.

Gary Bunda: Ubuntu? Mission? What are you guys talking about?

Claude: You're a plant. We hacked into St. Peter's book to get you up here so I could spy on their whole operation.

Gary Bunda: I am not gonna do that with you, alright? God loves me. And his love is as pure and as white as Gwyneth Paltrow's belly button. And there's jerky here -- A sh*t ton of it.

Claude: St. Peter!

Ubuntu: St. Peter.

Claude: This Gary is a fraud!

Gary Bunda: Shut your mouth.

[Gary tries to slap his bottoms to shut Claude up]

Gary Bunda: Yeah, how do you like that, huh, Claude? [laughs] Got you, Claude.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary needs to take a dump again]

Gary Bunda: I'm going to go make some pottery.

Scott: With the women? [laughs]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary got pinned from the masturbating spider that appeared out of nowhere]

Wendy: Are you okay? I think he has PTSD.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Hey. Is there any way I can make it snow for this kid? Is there like a button or something?

Wendy: Oh, he can't hear you. The mikes don't work.

Gary Bunda: [laughs] Then, uh, why do we have them?

Wendy: They actually don't sell these without the mouthpieces, so.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: If God has perfect memory, why are writing down the messages?

Wendy: You can take notes or not. You know, it doesn't matter. We're pretty chill. You can work at your own pace.

Gary Bunda: I can do zero pace if I want to?

Wendy: Absolutely.

Gary Bunda: So I can... [takes off the headphones]

Wendy: Yep. Put those back on! I'm just kidding.

Gary Bunda: [laughs]

Wendy: I'm just kidding.

Gary Bunda: You scared me.

Wendy: [laughs] No, it all goes to voicemail. We're really just listening to be nice.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Mr. Neighbor: Hello, Chef Bread. I -- [chuckles] Sorry. Bonjour, Chef Bread.

Mr. Neighbor: Now...I-I'm sorry to interrupt, Chef Bread. I don't have time for a Francais lesson. You see, today is my 31st annual 5th birthday, and I --

[Mr. Neighbor stops talking, but Chef Bread didn't say a word]

Mr. Neighbor: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHY! IT'S WHAT I WANT IT TO BE!

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

[Mr. Neighbor wakes up from a dream while having a needle in his chest]

Photo Joe: Do you have a memory, Mr. Neighbor?

Mr. Neighbor: [thrilled] I sure did, Photo Joe, and it was a birthday memory!

Photo Joe: Yee-haw! Those are the best dang memories of all!

Mr. Neighbor: They sure are. They're so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, happy! [crazy laugh] But I have to go get one more thing for my birthday party, Photo Joe. I'll see you later!

[Mr. Neighbor crashes into a bunch of objects while sprinting to the exit]

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Where is your bathroom?

Scott: No. There are no bathrooms, Gary. We don't need them. Waste not, want not.

Gary Bunda: But I pretty significantly need to waste much.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Wendy: You guys, we're always saying we want to be more edgy. But we can't say balls? And it's not like we're using the word for guy's hot dog or anything.

Scott: To heck with it! Balls, Dennis!

Dennis: Ball going up. Whoo!

Wendy: Jesus-Man -- Kicking evil in the balls.

Scott: Kicking evil in the golf balls.

Gary Bunda: This man really likes his golf.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Scott: And I know you said you weren't really into golf, but, uh, here's your own set of golf clubs.

Gary Bunda: Thank you. [voice breaking] You know, back where I'm from, down in Hell, uh, the only balls we whacked around were mine.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Jesus-Man has got laser eye beams that can forgive people from a long distance. And he shoots webs.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Dennis: Do you mind spit-balling some ideas with us?

Claudius: Right now, I'm presenting my idea for an internal newsletter called "Angel News".

Gary Bunda: "Angel News".

Claudius: Yeah.

Gary Bunda: Do you mind if I toss in an idea?

Scott: Of course.

Gary Bunda: Don't want to offend you. It's a stupid idea, and it's a waste of time. Instead, what we do is a comic book.

Gary Bunda: Radioactive Jesus Christ bites some dude. He gets Jesus powers. Call him Jesus-Man.

Scott: Genius!

Dennis: Boom! Goes the dynamite.

Wendy: We could have, like, radioactive apostles biting different people. Get like a supergroup.

Claudius: And maybe, since Jesus is a carpenter, maybe you could have like a big hammer or something like that, right?

Gary Bunda: So you're talking about, like, Thor?

Claudius: Not -- I mean, not like Thor.

Gary Bunda: You're just trying to plagiarize Thor? No hammers.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Scott: Hey-oh! Here he is. Gary with one R, everybody.

Angels: [applause]

Scott: Things have a way of working out.

Gary Bunda: Except for old Garry with two R's.

[all the angels paused then laughed]

Scott: [laughter] Edgy. Edgy humor.

Dennis: That's exactly what we need to appeal to the youth.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Photo Joe: Sometimes our brain lights up memories so we can never think about them again. That's called repression.

Mr. Neighbor: Repression! I know what that is. You just need a web cam --

Photo Joe: [interrupts] But old Photo Joseph here knows how to fix repression. Just look into the light right here.

Photo Joe: That's right. You're not epileptic, are you?

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Photo Joe: Do you have a happy memory, Mr. Neighbor?

Mr. Neighbor: Hmm, let me think.

[Mr. Neighbor's cloud bubble shows no memories but just a white canvas]

Mr. Neighbor: [happily] I don't think I have any memories, Photo Joe.

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Photo Joe: A photo album is full of memories -- Flat, still, unmoving memories.

Mr. Neighbor: Oh! So a memory happens after your birth.

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Mr. Neighbor: [reads book title "Memories"] Oh! "Photo album."

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Mr. Neighbor: Say, Photo Joe, will you come to my 31st annual 5th birthday party today and take photographs?

Photo Joe: Well, I would be honored, but why is it your 31st annual --

Mr. Neighbor: IT JUST IS!

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Mr. Neighbor: "Party Photography." All you need is a web cam and a spoofed I.P address.

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Jen: Mr. Neighbor, why are you celebrating your 5th --

Mr. Neighbor: I don't like questions.

Jen: Is it because that's when you mother --

Mr. Neighbor: [interrupts] I see a book.

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Mr. Neighbor: Say, Ms. Lady, will you please come to my 31st annual 5th birthday party?

[Jen sniffs the invitation sexually]

Mr. Neighbor: Great.

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Mr. Neighbor: Hello, Ms. Lady.

Jen: Please, call me Jen, Mr. Neighbor.

Mr. Neighbor: If I called you Jen Mr. Neighbor, then you'd be my wife.

Mr. Neighbor & Jen: [both laugh uncontrollably]

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Mr. Neighbor: Birthday gifts can be anything. Some people want books. Some people want toys. And some people want their mother to return home after walking out on them 31 years ago.

[looks at his family picture as a dramatic sequence]

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Mr. Neighbor: Say, Buddy, what would you like for a birthday gift?

Buddy: To age like a real bo--

[Mr. Neighbor leaves as Buddy lost his movement and no communication to talk to him]

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Mr. Neighbor: Say, Buddy, do you know what RSVP stands for?

Buddy: [happily] No.

Mr. Neighbor: Right! Great work!

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Mr. Neighbor: An invitation is a way to invite your friends to your party. It also gives them lots of important information.

[Mr. Neighbor reads and points the invitation that has a bunch of scribbles]

Mr. Neighbor: "Please come to Mr. Neighbor's 31st annual 5th birthday party. Today at later o'clock. RSVP."

– Mr. Neighbor's House  Movie Quote

Scott: Over there is shopping and a pottery studio.

Scott: You know, for the women.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Scott: We have over 10,00 different Ben Hogan-designed golf courses up here.

Gary Bunda: Oh, wow. I'm not that really into golf.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary stars to get his wings and a golden ring]

Gary: I'M AN EAGLE!

Scott: Isn't this off the chain?

Gary: I'm flying!

Scott: Yeah, that, too. But I was talking about the golf courses.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: I'm gonna need five gallons of boiling oil, some razor wire, and a child molester -- The one with the clown mask from the pit. Thank you.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: [to Gary] How many R's are in your first name? One or two?

Garry: [panicking] It's two, right? You spell it with two!

Gary Bunda: One. G-A-R-Y. It's Gary.

Scott: Oh, goodness. [laughs] We made a bit of a goof.

Satan: Yep. We had a bit of a goof.

Gary Bunda: What the hell's going on here? I'm literally in the middle of sorting some guy's guts.

Satan: Yeah.

Gary Bunda: You know how long it takes.

Satan: Listen to me -- When you died, you were supposed to go to Heaven. Not Hell. Big mistake. Clerical error.

Satan: Garry with two R's is supposed to be here.

Gary Bunda: Are you serious?

Satan: No hard feelings, huh?

[Gary and Satan shake hands]

Satan: Congratulations.

[Gary spits Satan's hands]

Satan: What -- What? Can I gouge his eyes out one more time?

Scott: I'm afraid not. But what you do with Garry with two R's is not really my call.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: I should have spent more time in church. Am I right, Ubuntu?

Ubuntu: There were no missionaries in my village. I only heard of christianity when I got there.

Gary Bunda: Sure.

Ubuntu: Yep.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Claude: Let's pick it up, Gary. Don't make friends. Just yank out the internals and move on.

Gary Bunda: I will cut with the chit-chat, Mr. Claude-with-the-clipboard.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary sees a man hooked up while screaming in torture]

Gary Bunda: Relax. It's okay. You're in hell.

[Gary intensely rips the man intestines out]

Gary Bunda: There's a video explaining everything at the end.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Jonas: Look, daddy! Look, mommy! Look what Santa got me! I got it! I got it!

[Jonas shows the Knights of Nebulon Pocket Marauder Gun]

Geoff's Wife: I told you no, Geoff.

Geoff: I didn't buy it.

Jonas: Pow, pow! Ch-ch! I killed you, mommy! I killed you, daddy! Ch-ch!

Geoff's Wife: I guess it's some kind of christmas miracle, huh, Geoff?

[Geoff sees ruten on the ground knowing Krampus came here]

Geoff: Maybe it is a miracle.

Jonas: I killed everyone!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary gets Krampus out of jail]

Krampus: They said I am to be sentenced on the 17th.

Gary Bunda: Yeah, you don't have to worry about that. We're not gonna be coming back for that court date.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: We had a list with thousands of kids' names. Thousands of names. Are you telling me that he didn't drown one kid?

Gary Bunda: In all fairness, each one of those kids got hit with a shoe. We beat each one of those kids with a full-on shoe tornado.

Satan: Interesting. Was that before or after Krampus went to jail for assaulting a security guard with a giant novelty ax?

Gary Bunda: [pauses]

Satan: Just get him back to the castle, alright? And shut this thing down. Shut the whole thing down! This is the last time I'm taking one of your dumb ideas.

Gary Bunda: Seems like it was your idea.

Satan: What was that, Gar?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Jonas: He said he was tired and he wanted to get his alcohol beer and go home.

Gary Bunda: Claude, that's not his home.

[Claude sees Krampus and the Security Mall Guard fighting]

Claude: This is embarrassing. He used to be able to eat thousands of children in one night.

Krampus: [to the Security Mall Guard] I will sue you so hard!

Gary Bunda: Should we be doing something about this?

Claude: I mean...let's just get out of here.

Gary Bunda: Let's bail.

Krampus: [to the Security Mall Guard] You're hurting me. You're hurting me!

Security Mall Guard: Well, you're not doing me any good, either.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Jonas, Jonas, you okay? You got both eyes? You got your fingers? Jonas, did the hairy man bite you?

Jonas: Uncle Gary? I thought you were dead.

Gary Bunda: What I'm gonna need you to do is not tell your Dad a single thing about this, okay, big guy?

Jonas: I want a Knights of Nebulon Pocket Marauder.

Gary Bunda: Alright, let me get, like, a trash can to bash in this window.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: What if he's still alive but Krampus just has eaten both of his feet? What am I gonna tell his Dad then?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary playing with the gun]

Gary Bunda: Bap! Bap! Got your ass, bitch! Bap! Bap!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: So, you want me to, like, shoot Krampus?

Claude: Do you want to save your step-nephew or not?

Gary Bunda: I mean, how many times a year do I really see him?

Gary Bunda: Let's just see if he uses the shoe first.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: What should I do?

Claude: Here. I keep one of these around emergencies. [pulls out a gun]

Gary Bunda: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Krampus: Young Jonas looked very plump tonight. I bet the meat is marbled. [giggles]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: How about we just swat him with the shoe this time? Just give him a couple of swippity-swaps with the shoe, and that will show him who's boss.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Geoff's Wife: It's time to hit the sack.

[shows Krampus looking Geoff's family at the window]

Krampus: Oh, you'll hit the sack, alright. My burlap sack! [giggles]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Claude: Can we agree that it's a coincidence that the first person we're visiting is Gary's step-nephew?

Gary Bunda: Yeah, it seems weird.

Krampus: We pulled names out of a hat.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Jonas: Do you think if I leave out the entire pie, that Santa will bring me a Knights of Nebulon pocket marauder?

Geoff: Oh, kiddo, listen. Hey, your Mom's not a real big fan of the Knights of Nebulon.

Geoff's Wife: Or their war toys.

Geoff: Maybe Santa can make an exception for...

Geoff's Wife: No, Geoff. Santa reads the studies and he knows there's a direct link between fantasy violence and aggression in adults.

Jonas: I promise I won't be an aggressive adult.

Geoff's Wife: I wish that we're true.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: You mean to tell me a kid lies one time and then he is put to death? That is not a way to teach anybody anything.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Security Mall Guard: Um, did y'all get a permit to put up this shed?

Gary Bunda (as Elf Worker): I don't think we did.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Krampus licking Ethan's arm devilishly]

Gary Bunda: Oh, no, no, no. Krampus is feeling tired.

Krampus: Wait. Wait, Ethan. Take a ruten bundle to remind you that I am always there. Always watching.

Gary Bunda: Okay, Ethan. We're gonna go say hi to your Mom, okay?

Ethan: Mommy!

Ethan's Mom: Ethan?! Come here! Come here, baby.

Krampus: It's too late for Ethan. He's on the list. He's on the list! [giggles]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Ethan's Mom: You closed the door. I can't see my son anymore.

Claude (as Elf Worker): If you pay for the package, you can get a video and you'll see everything going on in there.

Ethan's Mom: Why can't you just leave the door open?

Claude (as Elf Worker): It's gonna freak you out.

Ethan's Mom: It's gonna what?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Krampus: Hello, Ethan Rakestraw.

Ethan: How do you know my last name?

Krampus: I know everything about you, young Ethan. Come here. Sit on my bony, mite-covered lap.

Krampus: I know that you pee in the shower, and I know that you broke your sister's iPad, and you said it fell.

Krampus: [to Gary] Close the shed! Close the shed!

Ethan: Mommy!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Claude (as Elf Worker): For $24.99, you can get a package that includes and 8x10.

Ethan's Mom: We just wanted to see Santa. Right, Ethan? Okay. Go on. Go see Santa. Hey, Ethan. Smile big for mommy.

Claude (as Elf Worker): You're just gonna lie to my face and stand here and take pictures with your cellphone?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Claude: So, what do you say? Are you interested in working with us on this?

Krampus: Fetch my drowning tub. Krampus is back! [does a silly dance]

Gary Bunda: I don't like the dance, but I appreciate why you're doing it.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Krampus: Satan needs me to keep the children in line. The ones that are left.

[Krampus rubs his stomach smoothly while giggling knowing what he did to those kids in the past times]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Krampus: Kids today. Every time they fart, they get a trophy.

Krampus: When they got rid of spanking, that's when the whole world went down the crapper.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Krampus: I tried to get Gumphanickel to follow in my footsteps. [looks at his son deadly] This one isn't interested unless it's a horn to carve.

Gumphanickel: They warn the villagers of avalanches!

Krampus: They cause avalanches, Gumphanickel!

Krampus: Why do you think that the horn blast happens and then the snow falls?! Are you trying to warn them in the future?

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Hey, Claude, how did you beat me here?

Claude: Did you teleport to the bottom of the mountain? Are you that stupid?

Gary Bunda: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I teleported at the bottom of the mountain and then I climbed all the way up just to get here, and then I nearly lost my balls because I "made my harness too tight."

Claude: Are you saying what you actually did, but in a sarcastic voice?

Gary Bunda: Yes.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Krampus: Close the door. I'm not paying to heat the whole outdoors.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Krampus: When I press the TV button, it's broken 'cause the volume goes away. And then I press it again and volume comes back.

Claude: Right, that's the mute button.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gumphanickel: [blows the horn for entrance] Would you like to try to blow the horn?

Gary Bunda: Your lips have been on it, so I don't...

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Are you Krampus?

Gumphanickel: [German accent] No. I'm Gumphanickel. You're looking for my Dad.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Satan: Guten Krampus Nacht! Guten Krampus Nacht, VC! [plays with VC's real belly again] Guten Krampus Nacht, everyone!

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Who's Krampus?

Satan: Friend of mine. We used to hang out in Eastern Europe in the 1800s. Here, I got some pictures. Take a look.

Gary Bunda: Hmm.

Satan: Krampus was intense. Let me tell you. That guy was insane. I'd love to see these helicopter parents today. If Krampus was to stuff their little brats into his drowning tub. Ugh!

Gary Bunda: [concerned] So he drowns the children?

Satan: No, not all of 'em. See, that's Krampus. You know, it's like, no, maybe he'll just hit them with a shoe or he'll put them in his gypsy cart. You never see 'em again. You don't know with this guy.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Claude: What is all this? Is that a stocking?

Gary Bunda: I made it for Satan. It's out of VC's belly meat. VC, you ready?

[Gary plays with VC's real belly while VC screams in pain]

Claude: You do realize that this holiday celebrates the birth of Satan's sworn enemy.

Satan: It's alright, Claude. Christmas has become so commercialized that Jesus doesn't even get the credit anymore.

Gary Bunda: Yeah, we got his ass.

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

Gary Bunda: Can -- Can I have some of it?

Claude: [drunk] We'll share it.

Gary Bunda: Okay, cool, so I...I can have my half?

Claude: [drunk] There's a little bit more left of my half, I think.

Gary Bunda: Cool.

[Claude drinks the last Spunk bottle quickly]

Claude: [drunk] I'll tell you this, you're gonna like this when it gets to you.

Gary Bunda: Yeah, I bet. I'd love to have some of it.

Eddie: [far away in the audience] YOU SUCK!

Claude: [drunk] Comrade. [gives the bottle to Gary]

[When Gary drinks the last bottle of Spunk, he notices something odd]

Gary Bunda: You prick! This is mostly backwash!

Claude: [drink] You ain't got to riot. I'm tired.

[Gary and Claude start to hallucinate each other while their heads blow up]

Gary & Claude: I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fin-- [Gary and Claude's heads blows up]

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Gary and Claude try to fight each other while being hanged in The Bone Dome]

Gary Bunda: How am I supposed to fight him?

Claude: [drunk] Yeah, swing over here and say that to my face!

Gary Bunda: I can't even see him! How are we supposed to fight each other, I can't even see him.

Satan: Just lower them down. It's not working. Just lower them down, we'll have them...

– Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

[Satan & Claude came to see the incident of what happened to the spider's ejaculation]

Eddie: [sobs] His dick came off in my hand! He had nothing left! He gave us all that he had!

Satan: Look, we're just gonna move our delivery date back. Now, when do we ship?

Claude: [drunk] There's only one bottle left. Production f***ed up.

Satan: One bottle?

Claude: [drunk] Mm-hmm, small batch. Artisanal. We get 'em hooked, we have 'em right where we went them.

Satan: WHO ARE WE GONNA HOOK WITH ONE BOTTLE?!