Game of Thrones, Season 2

[Tyrion arrives at Joffrey's tournament, accompanied by Bronn and a number of hill tribesmen]

Tyrion Lannister:
Beloved nephew! We looked for you on the battlefield, but you were nowhere to be found!

Joffrey Baratheon:
[caught offguard] I...I've been here, ruling the kingdoms!

Tyrion Lannister:
[mocking] And what a fine job you've done! [turns to his niece Myrcella] Look at you, more beautiful than ever! [to his nephew Tommen] And you! You're going to be bigger than the Hound...but much better looking! [indicates the Hound to Bronn] This one doesn't like me.

Bronn:
I can't imagine why.

Joffrey Baratheon:
We heard you were dead.

Myrcella Baratheon:
I'm glad you're not dead.

Tyrion Lannister:
Me too, dear. Death is so boring, especially now with so much excitement in the world. [turns to Sansa] My lady, I'm sorry for your loss.

Joffrey Baratheon:
[outraged] Her loss?! Her father was a confessed traitor!

Tyrion Lannister:
[curtly] But still her father. Surely having so recently lost your own beloved father, you can sympathise!

[Following Tyrion's arrival on the Small Council]

Cersei Lannister:
I would like to know how you tricked Father into this!

Tyrion Lannister:
If I were capable of tricking Father, I'd be Emperor of the world by now. You brought this on yourself.

Cersei Lannister:
I've done nothing!

Tyrion Lannister:
Quite right, you did nothing when your son called for Ned Stark's head! Now the entire North has risen up against us!

Cersei Lannister:
I tried to stop it!

Tyrion Lannister:
Did you? You failed. That bit of theatre will haunt our family for a generation.

Cersei Lannister:
[dismissive] Robb Stark is a child.

Tyrion Lannister:
Who's won every battle he's fought! Do you understand we're losing the war?!

Cersei Lannister:
What do you know about warfare?

Tyrion Lannister:
Nothing. But I know people, and I know that our enemies hate each other almost as much as they hate us. [pause]

Cersei Lannister:
Joffrey is King.

Tyrion Lannister:
Joffrey is King.

Cersei Lannister:
You are here to advise him.

Tyrion Lannister:
Only here to advise him. And if the King listens to what I say, the King might just get his uncle Jaime back.

Cersei Lannister:
[pause] How?

Tyrion Lannister:
You love your children. It's your one redeeming quality. That and your cheekbones. The Starks love their children as well, and we have two of them.

Cersei Lannister:
One.

Tyrion Lannister:
One?!

Cersei Lannister:
Arya, that little animal, she disappeared.

Tyrion Lannister:
Disappeared? What, in a puff of smoke? We had three Starks to trade. You chopped one's head off and let another escape. [smugly] Father would be furious. Must be odd for you, to be the disappointing child.

[Stannis and his council are writing a declaration]

Matthos Seaworth:
And I declare on the honour of my House that my beloved brother Robert left-

Stannis Baratheon:
He wasn't my beloved brother. I didn't love him. He didn't love me.

Davos Seaworth:
A harmless courtesy, Your Grace.

Stannis Baratheon:
A lie. Take it out.

Matthos Seaworth:
That my brother Robert left no trueborn heirs, the boy Joffrey, the boy Tommen and the girl Myrcella being born of incest between Cersei Lannister and her brother Jaime Lannnister. By right of birth-

Stannis Baratheon:
Jaime Lannister, the Kingslayer. Call him what he is.

Matthos Seaworth:
And her brother Jaime Lannister, the Kingslayer. By right of birth and blood, I do this day lay claim-

Stannis Baratheon:
Make it Ser Jaime Lannister the Kingslayer. Whatever else he is, the man's still a knight.

Matthos Seaworth:
Ser Jaime Lannister the Kingslayer. By right of birth and blood, I do this day lay claim to the Iron Throne of Westeros. Let all true men declare their loyalty.

Stannis Baratheon:
When Eddard Stark learnt the truth, he told only me. I'll not make the same mistake. Send copies of that letter to every corner of the realm, from the Arbor to the Wall. The time has come to choose. Let no man claim ignorance as an excuse.

Davos Seaworth:
Your Grace, the Lannisters are the true enemy. If, for the time being you could make peace with your brother-

Stannis Baratheon:
I'll not make peace with Renly while he calls himself king.

Davos Seaworth:
But many have already declared for him. Mace Tyrell, Randyll Tarly...

Melisandre:
Stannis does not need to beg this lord or that lord for support, the Lord of Light stands behind him.

Davos Seaworth:
And how many ships has the Lord of Light got in his fleet?

Melisandre:
He has no need for ships.

Davos Seaworth:
I'm sure he doesn't, but we do if we're going to war. If not Renly Your Grace, join forces with Robb Stark.

Stannis Baratheon:
Who'd steal the northern half of my kingdom. I've always served thieves according to their deserts, as you well know Ser Davos. Joffrey, Renly, Robb Stark, they're all thieves. They'll bend the knee or I'll destroy them.

Cersei Lannister:
I heard a song once, about a boy of modest means, found his way in the home of a very prominent family. He loved the eldest daughter. Sadly, she had eyes for another.

Petyr Baelish:
When boys and girls live in the same home, awkward situations can arise. Sometimes, I've heard, even brothers and sisters develop certain affections. And when those affections become common knowledge, well that is an awkward situation indeed, especially in a prominent family. Prominent families often forget a simple truth I found.

Cersei Lannister:
And which truth is that?

Petyr Baelish:
Knowledge is power.

[Cersei pauses a moment]

Cersei Lannister:
[to her guards] Cut his throat. [her guards move to do so]

Cersei Lannister:
No, wait. [chuckles] I've changed my mind. Let him go. [her guards do so] Step back three paces. [they obey]. Turn around. [they obey] Close your eyes. [they obey].

Cersei Lannister:
[steps up to Petyr] Power is power.

Robb Stark:
Stannis Baratheon sent ravens to all the High Lords of Westeros. The King Joffrey Baratheon is neither a true King, nor a true Baratheon. He's your bastard son.

Jaime Lannister:
If that's true, Stannis is the rightful King. How convenient for him.

Robb Stark:
My father learned the truth. That's why you had him executed.

Jaime Lannister:
I was your prisoner when Ned Stark lost his head.

Robb Stark:
Your son killed him so the world wouldn't learn who fathered him and you... you pushed my brother from a window because he saw you with the Queen.

Jaime Lannister:
You have proof? You want to trade gossip like a couple of fishwives?

Robb Stark:
I'm sending one of your counsins down the King's Landing with my peace terms.

Jaime Lannister:
You think my father's going to negotiate with you? You don't know him very well.

Robb Stark:
But he's starting to know me.

Jaime Lannister:
Three victories don't make you a conqueror.

Robb Stark:
It's better than three defeats.

Robb Stark:
[speaking to Alton Lannister, a Lannister emissary] I offer your cousins peace, if they meet my terms. First, your family must release my sisters. Second, my father's bones must be returned to us, so that he may rest beside his brother and sister in the crypts beneath Winterfell. And the remains of all those who died in his service must be returned also, that their families can honour them with proper funerals.

Alton Lannister:
An honourable request, your Grace.

Robb Stark:
Third, Joffrey and the Queen Regent must renounce all claim to dominion of the north. From this time to the end of time, we are a free and independent kingdom.

Northern Lords:
The King in the North!

Robb Stark:
Neither Joffrey nor any of his men shall ever set foot in our lands again. If he disregards this command, he shall suffer the same fate as my father...only I won't need a servant to do my beheading for me!

Alton Lannister:
[stammering] Your Grace...these are...

Robb Stark:
These are my terms! If the Queen Regent and her son meet them, I'll give them peace. If not, I will litter the south with Lannister dead!

Alton Lannister:
King Joffrey is a Baratheon, Your Grace.

Robb Stark:
Is he?

Tyrion Lannister:
[barring Varys' way out] I don't like threats.

Varys:
[feigning ignorance] Who threatened you?

Tyrion Lannister:
I'm not Ned Stark, I understand the way this game is played.

Varys:
Ned Stark was a man of honour-

Tyrion Lannister:
And I am not. Threaten me again and I'll have you thrown into the sea!

Varys:
[now barring Tyrion's way out] You might be disappointed in the results. The storms come and go, the big fish eat the little fish and I keep on paddling.

[Davos tries to convince the pirate Salladhor Saan to join Stannis' cause]

Davos Seaworth:
Come with me and plunder the greatest city in Westeros. You'll be the richest man in Lys and the most famous. They'll be singing songs about you as long as men have voices to sing.

Salladhor Saan:
Sallador Saan is a good name for songs.

Davos Seaworth:
It is.

Sallador Saan:
One thing; I want the Queen.

Davos Seaworth:
The Queen?

Salladhor Saan:
Cersei. I want her. I'll sail with your fleet, all 30 of my ships, and if we don't drown at the bottom of Blackwater Bay, I'll f*** this blond queen and I'll f*** her well.

Mathos Seaworth:
This war isn't about you. We're not attacking King's Landing so that you can rape the Queen!

Salladhor Saan:
I'm not going to rape her, I'm going to f*** her.

Mathos Seaworth:
As if she would just let you.

Salladhor Saan:
You don't know how persuasive I am. I never tried to f*** you.

Matthos Seaworth:
Stannis is the rightful King and the Lord of Light.

Salladhor Saan:
I've been all over the world, my boy, and everywhere I go people tell me about the true god. They all think they found the right one. The one true God is what's between a woman's legs, and better yet a Queen's legs. [to Davos] I never thought you'd have a true believer for a son.

Davos Seaworth:
Ah, he's young yet. I promise you the gold. I promise you the glory. I cannot promise you the Queen.

Salladhor Saan:
You believe your king can win?

Davos Seaworth:
He is the one, true king.

Salladhor Saan:
You Westerosi are funny people. A man chops off your fingers and you fall in love with him. I'll sail with you, Davos Seaworth. You're the most honest smuggler I ever met. Make me rich.

Davos Seaworth:
Get me to the gates of King's Landing and I will.

Tyrion Lannister:
[quoting Jeor Mormont] The cold winds are rising, and the dead rise with them.

(One of Daenerys's bloodriders has just returned, beheaded)

Ser Jorah Mormont:
You have no need to see this.

Daenerys Targaryen:
He is blood of my blood. Who did this?

Ser Jorah Mormont:
Khal Pono, perhaps. Khal Jhaqo. They don't like the idea of a woman leading a khalasar.

Daenerys Targaryen:
They will like it far less when I am done with them.

Tyrion Lannister:
Tell me, when your men slaughtered Ned Stark's men in the throne room, did you give the order?

Lord Janos Slynt:
I did, and I would again. The man was a traitor, he tried to buy my loyalty!

Tyrion Lannister:
The fool...he had no idea you were already bought!

Lord Janos Slynt:
[angry] Are you drunk?! I'll not have my honour questioned by an imp!

Tyrion Lannister:
I'm not questioning your honour, Lord Janos...I'm denying its existence!

Cersei Lannister:
Lord Janos Slynt was Commander of the City Watch. You had no right to exile him-!

Tyrion Lannister:
I have every right! I am the King's Hand!

Cersei Lannister:
You're serving as the King's Hand until Father gets here. I am the Queen Regent!

Tyrion Lannister:
Listen to me, Queen Regent, you're losing the people. Do you hear me?!

Cersei Lannister:
[sneers] The people? You think I care?!

Tyrion Lannister:
You might find it difficult to rule over millions who want you dead. Half this city will starve when winter comes, the other half will plot to overthrow you...and your gold-plated thugs just gave them their rallying cry; "The Queen slaughters babies!" [Cersei remains silent] You don't even have the decency to deny it! [realises] It wasn't you who gave the order, was it? Joffrey didn't even tell you? [Another uncomfortable pause] Did he tell you? I imagine that would be even worse.

Cersei Lannister:
He did what needed to be done! You want to be Hand of the King?! You want to rule?! This is what ruling is; lying on a bed of weeds, ripping them out by the root, one by one, before they strangle you in your sleep!

Tyrion Lannister:
I'm no king, but I think there's more to ruling than that.

Cersei Lannister:
[furious] I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK! You've never taken it seriously; you haven't, Jaime hasn't. It's all fallen on me.

Tyrion Lannister:
As has Jaime repeatedly, according to Stannis Baratheon. [A pause, and then Cersei giggles]

Cersei Lannister:
You're funny. You've always been funny...but none of your jokes will ever match the first one, will they? Do you remember, back when you ripped my mother open on your way out of her and she bled to death?

Tyrion Lannister:
[angry and hurt] She was my mother too.

Cersei Lannister:
Mother gone, for the sake of you. There's no bigger joke in the world than that.

Bran:
Every night it's the same: I'm walking, running, but I'm not me. I'm running through the Godswood, sniffing the dirt, tasting blood in my mouth when I've made a fresh kill, howling. Old Nan used to tell me stories about magical people who could live inside stags, birds, wolves.

Maester Luwin:
That's exactly what they were, Bran: stories.

Bran:
So she was lying? They don't exist?

Maester Luwin:
Well, they may have done, but they're gone from the world along with much else. These are dreams, Bran, nothing more.

Bran:
No. My dreams are different. Mine are true. I dreamt of my father dying and Rickon had the same dream.

Maester Luwin:
What about all the dreams you had that didn't come true? [removes a link from his chain] This link is made of Valyrian steel. Only one Maester in a hundred wears it on his chain. It signifies that I have studied the higher mysteries, and all who study these mysteries try their hand at spells. I was not different. I was young and what boy doesn't secretly wish for special powers to lift him out of his dull life into a special one, but in the end, for all of my efforts, I got no more out of it than a thousand boys before me. Come on. [tucks Bran back to bed] Maybe magic once was a mighty force in the world, but not anymore; the dragons are gone, the giants are dead, and the children of the forest forgotten.

Loras Tyrell:
Has your son marched against Tywin Lannister yet?

Catelyn Stark:
I do not sit on my son's war councils, and if I did, I would not share his strategies with you.

Loras Tyrell:
If Robb Stark wants a pact with us, he should come himself, not hide behind his mother's skirts!

Catelyn Stark:
My son is fighting a war, not playing at one!

Renly Baratheon:
I have a hundred thousand men at my command, all the might of the Stormlands and the Reach.

Catelyn Stark:
And all of them young and bold like your Knight of Flowers. It's a game to you, isn't it? I pity them.

Renly Baratheon:
Why?

Catelyn Stark:
Because it won't last. Because they are the knights of summer and winter is coming.

Balon Greyjoy:
What are our words? [Theon hesitates] Our words?

Theon Greyjoy:
"We Do Not Sow"

Balon Greyjoy:
"We Do Not Sow". We are Ironborn. We're not subjects, we're not slaves. We do not plow the fields or toil in the mines. We take what is ours. Your time with the wolves has made you weak.

Theon Greyjoy:
You act as if I volunteered to go. You gave me away if you remember. The day you bend the knee to Robert Baratheon. After he crushed you. Did you take what was yours then?[Balon slaps Theon] You gave me away! Your boy! Your last boy! You gave me away like I was some dog you didn't want anymore. And now you curse me because I've come home.

(Tyrion, Bronn and Timmet barge into Pycelle's chambers)

Grand Maestar Pycelle:
What is the meaning of this?! [Bronn drags Pycelle to his feet] No! No, please!

Tyrion Lannister:
You disappoint me, Grand Maester.

Grand Maester Pycelle:
I am your loyal servant.

Tyrion Lannister:
So loyal that you told the queen about my plans to send Myrcella to Dorne.

Grand Maester Pycelle:
No, never! It's a falsehood, I swear it. It wasn't me. (smiles) Ah, Varys! It was Varys, the Spider-

Tyrion Lannister:
See, I told Varys that I was giving the princess to the Greyjoys. I told Littlefinger that I planned to wed her to Robin Arryn. I told no one that I was offering her to the Dornish. No one but you.

Grand Maester Pycelle:
The eunuch has spies everywhere-

Tyrion Lannister:
[to Timmet] Cut off his manhood and feed it to the goats.

Timmet:
[confused] There are no goats, halfman.

Tyrion Lannnister:
[exasperated] Well, make do! [To Pycelle] How long have you been spying for my sister?

Grand Maester Pycelle:
All I did, I did for House Lannister. Always. Your lord father, ask him. I've always been his servant, since the days of the Mad King.

Tyrion Lannister:
[shakes his head] I don't like his beard...

Grand Maester Pycelle:
What? [Bronn grabs Pycelle's beard] No! [Bronn cuts off the beard] AH.

Tyrion Lannister:
How many Hands have you betrayed, Pycelle? Eddard Stark, Jon Arryn...

Grand Maester Pycelle:
Lord Arryn! He knew, he knew the truth about the Queen and he planned to act, to tell King Robert-

Tyrion Lannister:
So you poisoned him?

Grand Maester Pycelle:
[outraged] No! Never!

Tyrion Lannister:
But you let him die! Made sure he succumbed!

Grand Maester Pycelle:
[desperate] Lannister, I've always served Lannister...!

Tyrion Lannister:
[disgusted] Get him out of my sight! Throw him in one of the black cells! [Bronn and Timett drag a protesting Pycelle out]

Varys:
Should I be worried? Janos Slynt, Pycelle...the Small Council grows smaller every day.

Tyrion Lannister:
The Council has a reputation for serving past Hands poorly. I don't mean to follow Ned Stark to the grave.

Varys:
Power is a curious thing, my lord. Are you fond of riddles?

Tyrion Lannister:
Why, am I about to hear one?

Varys:
Three great men sit in a room; a king, a priest and a rich man. Between them stands a common sellsword. Each great man bids the sellsword kill the other two. Who lives, who dies?

Tyrion Lannister:
Depends on the sellsword.

Varys:
Does it? He has neither crown, nor gold, nor the favour of the gods.

Tyrion Lannister:
He has a sword, the power of life and death.

Varys:
But if it's swordsmen who rule, why do we pretend kings hold all the power? When Ned Stark lost his head, who was truly responsible? Joffrey? The executioner? Or something else?

Tyrion Lannister:
I've decided I don't like riddles.

Varys:
Power resides where men believe it resides. It's a trick, a shadow on the wall, and a very small man can cast a very large shadow.

[Tyrion storms in on Joffrey publicly tormenting Sansa, entering as Joffrey tries to have her stripped naked]

Tyrion Lannister:
[furious] What is the meaning of this?! What kind of knight beats a helpless girl?!

Meryn Trant:
The kind who serves his king, Imp!

Bronn:
Careful now, we don't want to get blood all over your pretty white cloak!

Tyrion Lannister:
Someone get the girl something to cover herself with. [Sandor Clegane gives Sansa his cloak] She's to be your Queen. Have you no regard for her honour?!

Joffrey Baratheon:
I'm punishing her.

Tyrion Lannister:
For what crimes?! She did not fight her brother's battle, you halfwit!

Joffrey Baratheon:
You can't talk to me like that! The king can do as he likes!

Tyrion Lannister:
The Mad King did as he liked. Has your uncle Jaime ever told you what happened to him?

Meryn Trant:
No one threatens His Grace in the presence of the Kingsguard!

Tyrion Lannister:
I'm not threatening the king, ser. I'm educating my nephew. Bronn, the next time Ser Meryn speaks, kill him. That was a threat. See the difference?

[At a parley between Stannis and Renly Baratheon]

Renly Baratheon:
Can that truly be you?

Stannis Baratheon:
Who else might it be?

Renly Baratheon:
When I saw your standard, I couldn't be sure. Whose banner is that?

Stannis Baratheon:
My own.

Renly Baratheon:
I suppose if we use the same one, the battle will be terribly confusing. Why is your stag on fire?

Melisandre:
The king has taken for his sigil the fiery heart of the Lord of Light.

Renly Baratheon:
[grins] Ah, you must be this fire priestess we hear so much about. Ah brother, now I understand why you found religion in your old age!

Stannis Baratheon:
Watch yourself, Renly!

Renly Baratheon:
No, no, I'm relieved. I never really believed you were a fanatic; charmless, rigid, a bore, yes, but not a godly man.

Melisandre:
You should kneel before your brother. He is the Lord's Chosen, born amidst salt and smoke.

Renly Baratheon:
'Born amidst salt and smoke'? Is he a ham?

Stannis Baratheon:
That's twice I've warned you.

Catelyn Stark:
Listen to yourselves! If you were sons of mine, I would knock your heads together and lock you in a bedchamber together until you remember you're brothers.

Stannis Baratheon:
It is strange to find you beside my brother, Lady Stark. Your husband was a supporter of my claim; Lord Eddard's integrity cost him his head. And you sit beside this pretender and chastise me?!

Catelyn Stark:
We share a common enemy --

Stannis Baratheon:
The Iron Throne is mine by right. All those who deny that are my foes.

Renly Baratheon:
The whole realm denies it, from Dorne to the Wall. Old men deny it with their death rattles and unborn children deny it in their mothers' wombs. No one wants you for their king. You never wanted any friends, brother, but a man without friends is a man without power.

Stannis Baratheon:
For the sake of the mother who bore us, I will give you this one night to reconsider. Strike your banners, come to me before dawn and I will grant you your old seat on the Council. I'll even name you my heir, until a son is born to me. Otherwise I shall destroy you.

Renly Baratheon:
[motions to his army] Look across those fields, brother. Can you see all those banners?

Stannis Baratheon:
You think a few bolts of cloth will make you king?!

Renly Baratheon:
No. The men holding those bolts of cloth will make me king!

Stannis Baratheon:
We shall see, Renly. Come the dawn, we shall see! [Stannis and his retinue turn to leave]

Melisandre:
Look to your sins, Lord Renly. The night is dark and full of terrors.

Daenerys Targaryen:
Where I come from, guests are treated with respect, not insulted at the gates.

Trader of Spices:
Then perhaps you should return to where you come from. We wish you well. [walks away]

Daenerys Targaryen:
What are you doing? You promised to receive me!

Trader of Spices:
We have received you. Here we are, and here you are.

Daenerys Targaryen:
If you do not let us in, all of us will die.

Trader of Spices:
Which we shall deeply regret, but Qarth did not become the greatest city that ever was or will be by letting Dothraki savages through its gates.

Ser Jorah Mormont:
Khaleesi, please be careful.

Daenerys Targaryen:
[enraged] Thirteen, when my dragons are grown, we will take back what was stolen from me and destroy those who have wronged me! We will lay waste to armies and burn cities to the ground! Turn us away, and we will burn you first.

[Tywin Lannister has just arrived at Harrenhal]

Tywin Lannister:
What's this?

Gregor Clegane:
We weren't expecting you till tomorrow, Lord Tywin.

Tywin Lannister:
[chuckles] Evidently not. Why are these prisoners not in their cells?

Gregor Clegane:
Cells are overflowing, my Lord.

Polliver:
This lot won't be here long. Don't need no permanent place. After we interrogate 'em we usually just -- [gestures towards the heads on spikes]

Tywin Lannister:
Are we so well-manned that we can afford to discard able young bodies and skilled laborers? [Polliver doesn't answer and Tywin turns to Gendry] You, do you have a trade?

Gendry:
Smith, my Lord.

Polliver:
[sees Arya staring] What are you looking at? Kneel! Kneel or I'll carve your lungs out, boy.

Tywin Lannister:
You'll do no such thing. This one's a girl...you idiot! Dressed as a boy. Why?

Arya:
Safer to travel, my Lord.

Tywin Lannister:
Smart. More than I can say for this lot. Get these prisoners to work. Bring the girl. I need a new cupbearer.

Lancel Lannister:
I am a Knight!

Tyrion Lannister:
An anointed Knight, yes. Tell me, did Cersei have you knighted before or after she took you into her bed? [Lancel is dumbstruck] What? Nothing to say? No more warnings for me, Ser?

Lancel Lannister:
You will withdraw these filthy accusations-

Tyrion Lannister:
Have you ever given any thought to what King Joffrey will have to say when he finds out you have been bedding his mother?

Lancel Lannister:
[goes pale] It's not my fault!

Tyrion Lannister:
Did she take you against your will? Can you not defend yourself, Knight?

Lancel Lannister:
Your own father, Lord Tywin, when I was named the King's squire, he told me to obey her in everything!

Tyrion Lannister:
Did he tell you to f*** her, too?

Lancel Lannister:
I only meant, I did as I was bid. I --

Tyrion Lannister:
Hated every moment of it, is that what you'll have me believe? A high place in court, a knighthood, my sister's legs spreading open for you at night! Oh yes, it must have been terrible! Wait here, His Grace will want to hear this. [Tyrion heads to the door]

Lancel Lannister:
[terrified] Mercy! Mercy, my Lord! I beg you!

Tyrion Lannister:
Save it for Joffrey; he loves a good grovel!!

Lancel Lannister:
My Lord, it was your sister's bidding, the Queen! I'll leave the city at once, I swear.

Tyrion Lannister:
No, I think not.

Lancel Lannister:
My Lord?

Tyrion Lannister:
You heard me. My father told you to obey my sister. Obey her. Stay close to her side. Keep her trust. Pleasure her whenever she requires. No one ever need know as long as you keep faith with me. I want to know what Cersei is doing, where she goes, who she sees, what they talk of, everything and you will tell me.

Lancel Lannister:
Yes, my lord, I will. I swear it as you command.

Tyrion Lannister:
Oh rise, rise. Let us drink to our understanding. Oh, you don't have a cup. Oh, well. Smile, cousin. My sister is a beautiful woman. And it's all for the good of the realm. Go back and tell her that I beg her forgiveness, that I want no more conflict between us and that henceforth I shall do nothing without her consent.

Lancel Lannister:
But, her demands...

Tyrion Lannister:
Oh, I'll give her Pycelle.

Lancel Lannister:
[surprised] You will?

Tyrion Lannister:
Yes, I'll release him in the morning. Cersei can keep him as a pet if she wants, but I will not have him on the council. I could swear that I had not harmed a single hair on his head, but that would not, strictly speaking, be true.

Stannis Baratheon:
What is it?

Davos Seaworth:
I'm sorry about your brother, Your Grace. I wanted to let you know people grieve for him.

Stannis Baratheon:
Fools love a fool. I grieve for him as well, for the boy he was, not the man he grew to be.

Davos Seaworth:
I need to speak to you about what I saw in that cave...

Stannis Baratheon:
I made it clear to you there'd be no need to speak of this matter! I've never known you to need to hear a thing twice.

Davos Seaworth:
And I've never known you hide from the truth.

Stannis Baratheon:
You come to lecture me on truth?!

Davos Seaworth:
I've come to tell you what I saw-!

Stannis Baratheon:
All my brother's bannermen have come to my side, except the Tyrells, who fled like cowards. They won't be able to resist us now. Soon, I'll be sitting on the Iron Throne.

Davos Seaworth:
Nothing is worth what this will cost you, not even the Iron-!

Stannis Baratheon:
I'll hear no more about it. [pause]

Davos Seaworth:
When do we sail for King's Landing?

Stannis Baratheon:
As soon as I've consolidated my troops. We'll make short work of the Lannisters' fleet; once Blackwater Bay is cleared, we'll deliver our troops to their doorstep and take the city.

Davos Seaworth:
And will you bring Lady Melisandre with you?

Stannis Baratheon:
That's not your concern.

Davos Seaworth:
If you take King's Landing with her by your side, the victory will be hers.

Stannis Baratheon:
I never thought I'd have reason to doubt your loyalty. Was I wrong?

Davos Seaworth:
Loyal service means telling hard truths.

Stannis Baratheon:
[snorts] Oh, truth again. Alright, what's the truth? The hard truth.

Davos Seaworth:
She's a foreigner, preaching a foreign religion. Some believe she whispers orders in your ear and you obey.

Stannis Baratheon:
What do you believe?

Davos Seaworth:
You won those bannermen from Renly. Don't lose them to her. [pause]

Stannis Baratheon:
We'll set out for King's Landing without Lady Melisandre [Davos nods]. And you'll lead the fleet into Blackwater Bay.

Davos Seaworth:
Your Grace, I'm honoured but my time on the sea was spent evading ships, not attacking them. The other lords won't be happy.

Stannis Baratheon:
Most of those lords should consider themselves lucky I don't hang them for treason. Hard truths cut both ways, Ser Davos.

Tywin Lannister:
We've underestimated the Stark boy for too long. He has a good head for warfare, his men worship him- and as long as he keeps winning battles, they'll keep believing he is King in the North! (stares angrily at his generals) You've been waiting for him to fail; he is not going to fail. Not without our help. (Arya listens from across the room) So how do we stop him?

Reginald Lannister:
We've worked through the night, my Lord. Perhaps we'd profit from some sleep.

Tywin Lannister:
(coldly, contemptuously) Yes, I think you would, Reginald. And, because you're my cousin, I might even let you wake form that sleep! (the other lords look away nervously) Go! I'm sure your wife must miss you.

Reginald Lannister:
(confused) My wife's in Lannisport.

Tywin Lannister:
Well, then you'd better start riding. (pause) Go, before I change my mind and send her your head! (Reginald gets up) If your name wasn't Lannister, you'd be scrubbing out pots in the cook's tent. Go! (Reginald leaves; Arya brings a flagon to the table) Not wine, water- we'll be here for some time. (Arya nods and starts to walk away, Tywin watches her) Girl... where are you from?

Arya Stark:
(turns around) Maidenpool, My Lord.

Tywin Lannister:
And who are the Lords of Maidenpool? Remind me.

Arya Stark:
House Mooton, my Lord.

Tywin Lannister:
And what is their sigil? (pause, Arya glances away, unable to remember) A red salmon. I think a Maidenpool girl would remember that. (Arya looks down) You're a Northerner, aren't you? (Arya nods) Good. One more time, where are you from?

Arya Stark:
(confidently) Barrowton, my Lord. House Dustin. Two crossed longaxes beneath a black crown.

Tywin Lannister:
(nods) And what do they say of Robb Stark in the North?

Arya Stark:
[On Robb Stark] They call him 'The Young Wolf'.

Tywin Lannister:
And...?

Arya Stark:
They say he rides into battle on the back of a giant direwolf. They say he can turn into a wolf himself when he wants. (pause) They say he can't be killed.

Tywin Lannister:
(smiles) And do you believe them?

Arya Stark:
[Frowning] No, my lord. (pause) Anyone can be killed. (she and Tywin both stare at one another)

Tywin Lannister:
Fetch that water.

Priest:
[preaching to a crowd in the street] Corruption! Yes, we are swollen, bloated, foul! Brother fornicates with sister in the bed of kings, and we're surprised when the fruit of their incest is rotten?! Yes, a rotten king!

Tyrion Lannister:
It's hard to argue with his assessment.

Bronn:
Not after what he did to your birthday present.

Tyrion Lannister:
The king is a lost cause. It's the rest of us I'm worried about now.

Priest:
A dancing king, prancing down his bloodstained halls to the tune of a twisted demon monkey! [the crowd laughes]

Tyrion Lannister:
[smiling] You have to admire his imagination.

Bronn:
He's talking about you.

Tyrion Lannister:
[his smile fades] What? "Demon monkey"?

Bronn:
People think you're pulling the King's strings. They blame you for the city's ills.

Tyrion Lannister:
Blame me? I'm trying to save them.

Bronn:
You don't need to convince me.

Tyrion Lannister:
[deflated] Demon monkey.

Daenerys Targaryen:
My brother used to say the only thing the Dothraki knew how to do was steal things better men had built.

Jorah Mormont:
Not the only thing. They're quite good at killing the better men.

Brienne of Tarth:
Once you're safely back amongst your own people, will you give me leave to go, My Lady?

Catelyn Stark:
You mean to kill Stannis.

Brienne of Tarth:
I swore a vow.

Catelyn Stark:
But Stannis has a great army around him. His own guards are sworn to keep him safe.

Brienne of Tarth:
I'm as good as any of them. I should never have fled.

Catelyn Stark:
Renly's death was no fault of yours. You served him bravely.

Brienne of Tarth:
I only held him that once as he was dying.

Catelyn Stark:
He's gone, Brienne. You serve nothing and no one by following him into the earth. Renly's enemies are Robb's enemies as well.

Brienne of Tarth:
I do not know your son, My Lady, but I could serve you if you would have me. You have courage. Not battle courage perhaps, but, I don't know, a woman's kind of courage. And I think that when the time comes, you will not hold me back. Promise me that you will not hold me back from Stannis.

Catelyn Stark:
When the time comes, I will not hold you back.

Brienne of Tarth:
[offers her sword to Catelyn] Then I am yours, My Lady. I will shield your back and will give my life for yours if it comes to that. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New.

Catelyn Stark:
[takes Brienne's hand] I vow that you shall always have a place in my home and at my table, and that I shall ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New.

Joffrey Baratheon:
[shouting at his guards while outnumbered by rioting peasants] What are you doing?! I want these people executed!

Sandor Clegane:
And they want the same for you!

[After barely escaping a angry mob]

Joffrey Baratheon:
Traitors! I'll have all their heads!

Tyrion Lannister:
Oh, you blind, bloody fool!

Joffrey Baratheon:
You can't insult me!

Tyrion Lannister:
We've had vicious kings and we've had idiot kings, but I don't know if we've ever been cursed with a vicious idiot for a king!

Joffrey Baratheon:
You can't-

Tyrion Lannister:
I can, I am!

Joffrey Baratheon:
They attacked me!

Tyrion Lannister:
They threw a cow pie at you, so you decided to kill them all?! They're starving, you fool! All because of the war you started!

Joffrey Baratheon:
You're talking to a king!

Tyrion Lannister:
[slaps Joffrey] And now I've struck a king! Did my hand fall from my wrist? [to Meryn Trant] Where is the Stark girl?

Joffrey Baratheon:
Let them have her!

Tyrion Lannister:
If she dies, you'll never get your uncle Jaime back! You owe him quite a bit, you know.

Spice King:
Look what a beauty you are now that the Red Waste has been washed of you. I am sorry about all that unpleasantness. The silver hair of a true Targaryen. Xaro Xhoan Doxas, she is far to lovely for a glorified dock worker like yourself.

Xaro Xhoan Doxas:
Very true, and yet they say that your grandfather sold pepper on the back of a wagon, married a lady far lovelier and higher-born than himself.

Spice King:
Every lady alive was lovelier and higher-born than my grandfather. [Daenaerys cleares her throat] Did my servants not offer you anything to eat? To drink? I shall have them flogged in the square-

Daenerys Targaryen:
Thank you my lord, you are a gracious host, but there is no servant alive that can bring me what I want.

Spice King:
Ah, she has a talent for drama this one. So my little princess, what is it you want?

Daenerys Targaryen:
My birthright; the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros.

Spice King:
I fear I'm no better than a servant in this regard; I cannot give you what I do not have

Daenerys Targaryen:
I'm not asking you for the Kingdoms. I'm asking you for ships. I need to cross the Narrow Sea

Spice King:
I need my ships as well. I use them, you see, to bring spices from one port to another-

Daenerys Targaryen:
Whatever you grant me now will be repaid three times over when I retake the Iron Throne.

Spice King:
Retake? Did you once sit on the Iron Throne?

Daenerys Targaryen:
My father sat there before he was murdered.

Spice King:
If you did not sit on it yourself, would it not be correcter to say 'take' the Iron Throne?

Daenerys Targaryen:
I did not come here to argue grammar.

Spice King:
Of course not. You came to take my ships. So let me explain my position little princess. Unlike you, I do not have exulted ancestors. I make my living by trade and I judge every trade on its merits. You ask for ships. You say I will be repaid triple. I do not doubt your honesty or intentions, but before you repay your debts your must seize the Seven Kingdoms. Do you have an army?

Daenerys Targaryen:
Not yet.

Spice King:
You do not have an army. Do you have powerful allies in Westeros?

Daenerys Targaryen:
There are many there who support my claim.

Spice King:
When were you there last?

Daenerys Targaryen:
I left when I was a baby.

Spice King:
So in truth you have no allies.

Daenerys Targaryen:
The people will rise to fight for their rightful Queen when I return.

Spice King:
Ah. Forgive me little princess, but I cannot make an investment based on wishes and dreams!

Daenerys Targaryen:
I am Daenerys Stormborn, of the blood of Old Valyria and I will take what is mine, with fire and blood!

[Robb Stark learns that Theon Greyjoy has betrayed him and seized Winterfell]

Robb Stark:
This cannot be true.

Lord Roose Bolton:
We've had ravens from White Harbour, Barrowtown and the Dreadfort, my lord. I'm afraid it is true.

Robb Stark:
Why? Why would Theon-?

Roose Bolton:
Because the Greyjoys are treasonous whores.

Robb Stark:
My brothers?

Roose Bolton:
We've heard nothing of them...but Rodrik Cassell is dead.

Catelyn Stark:
[angry] I told you,never trust a Greyjoy!

Robb Stark:
I must go north at once.

Roose Bolton:
There's still a war to win, Your Grace-!

Robb Stark:
How can I call myself 'King' if I can't hold my own castle?! How can I ask men to follow me if-?!

Roose Bolton:
You are a king! And that means you don't have to do everything yourself.

Catelyn Stark:
Let me go and talk to Theon-

Robb Stark:
There will be no talk, he will die for this!

Roose Bolton:
Theon holds the castle with a skeleton crew. Let me send word to my bastard son at the Dreadfort; he can raise a few hundred men and retake Winterfell before the new moon. We have the Lannisters on the run; if you march all the way back north now, you lose what you gained. My boy would be honoured to bring you Prince Theon's head.

Robb Stark:
Tell your son Bran and Rickon's safety is paramount. And Theon...I want him brought to me alive. I want to look him in the eye and ask him 'Why?'...and then I will take his head myself!

Ygritte:
You know nothing, Jon Snow.

Ser Jorah Mormont:
I shouldn't have left you alone with these people.

Daenerys Targaryen:
These people?

Ser Jorah Mormont:
They are not to be trusted.

Daenerys Targaryen:
Who is to be trusted? Who are my people? The Targaryens? I only knew one: my brother, and he would have let a thousand men rape me if it would have gotten him the crown. The Dothraki? Most of them turned on me the day that Khal Drogo fell from his horse.

Ser Jorah Mormont:
Your people are in Westeros.

Daenerys Targaryen:
The people in Westeros don't know I'm alive!

Ser Jorah Mormont:
They will soon enough.

Daenerys Targaryen:
And then what? They'll pray for my return? They'll wave dragon banners and shout my name? That's what my brother believed and he's a fool.

Ser Jorah Mormont:
You are not your brother. Trust me, Khaleesi.

Daenerys Targaryen:
There it is: trust me. And it's you I should trust, Ser Jorah? Only you? I don't need trust any longer. I don't want it and I don't have room for it.

Ser Jorah Mormont:
You are too young to be so-

Daenerys Targaryen:
And you are too familiar!

Ser Jorah Mormont:
Forgive me, Khaleesi. No one can survive in this world without help. No one. Let me help you, please. Tell me how.

Daenerys Targaryen:
Find my dragons.

Tywin Lannister:
(sniffing a poison dart that he thinks was intended for him, as prisoners are interrogated outside) Wolfsbane- a rare substance. (to Gregor Clegane) This is no common assassin.

Gregor Clegane:
We hanged twenty men last night.

Tywin Lannister:
I don't care if you hanged a hundred. A man tried to kill me- I want his name, and I want his head.

Gregor Clegane:
We think it was an infiltrator, from the Brotherhood Without Banners. (Arya brings food and drink)

Tywin Lannister:
A pretentious name for a band of outlaws. We can't allow rebels behind our lines to harass us with impunity; we look like fools, and they look like heroes. That's how kings fall. I want them dead- every one.

Gregor Clegane:
Killing them isn't the problem. (glances at Arya, who is cutting up Tywin's food) It's finding them.

Tywin Lannister:
You gone soft, Clegane? I always thought you had a talent for violence. (Arya hides a kitchen knife) Burn the villages, burn the farms- let them know what it means to choose the wrong side. (Clegane leaves, Tywin turns to Arya) Is that mutton?

Arya Stark:
Yes, my Lord.

Tywin Lannister:
I don't like mutton.

Arya Stark:
... I- I'll bring something else-

Tywin Lannister:
Leave it. (walks over to the table) You hungry?

Arya Stark:
(shakes her head quickly) No.

Tywin Lannister:
Of course you are. (gestures to the dish of bread and mutton) Eat.

Arya Stark:
I'll... eat in the kitchen, later.

Tywin Lannister:
(impatiently) It's bad manners to refuse a Lord's offer. (walks around her, offers her a knife) Sit- eat. (Arya sits, takes the knife, and- after hesitating starts eating ravenously) You're small, for your age- I suppose you've been underfed your whole life.

Arya Stark:
(with her mouth full) I eat a lot- I just don't grow.

Tywin Lannister:
(nods, turns away to the window) H'm. This will be my last war- win, or loose.

Arya Stark:
... Have you ever lost before?

Tywin Lannister:
(gives her a sharp look over his shoulder) Do you think I'd be in my position if I'd lost a war? (he raises an eyebrow, Arya shakes her head and shrugs; Tywin turns back to the window) This is the one I'll be remembered for- the War of Five Kings, they're calling it. (Arya glances at the back of Tywin's neck; her grip on the knife tightens as she contemplates killing him) My legacy will be determined in the coming months (he turns around, Arya quickly relaxes her grip; the danger moment is passed) Do you know what legacy means? (Arya shakes her head) It's what you pass down to your children- and to your children's children. It's what remains of you, after you're gone. (gestures at the chamber) Harren the Black thought this castle would be his legacy. The greatest fortress ever built- the tallest towers, the strongest walls. (walks over to the shattered fireplace) The Great Hall had thirty-five hearths- Thirty- five, can you imagine? (pause) Look at it now- a blasted ruin. Do you know what happened?

Arya Stark:
(smiles eagerly)...Dragons?

Tywin Lannister:
(smiles ruefully at her) Yes... Dragons happened. (sits down across from her and pours himself a drink) Harrenhall was built to withstand an attack from the land. A million men could have marched on these walls, and a million men would have been repelled. But, an attack from the air, with dragonfire- (shakes his head) Harren and all his sons roasted alive within these walls. Aegon Targaryen changed the rules- that's why every child alive knows his name, three hundred years after his death. (takes a drink)

Arya Stark:
Aegon... and his sisters.

Tywin Lannister:
(sets down his goblet) Hmm?

Arya Stark:
It wasn't just Aegon riding his dragon. It was Raenys and Visenya, too.

Tywin Lannister:
(looks at her curiously) Correct!....Student of history, are you?

Arya Stark:
(not realizing she has nearly exposed her identity) Raenys rode Baraxis, Visenya rode Vaegar.

Tywin Lannister:
(shrugs, takes a drink) I'm sure I knew that, when I was a boy.

Arya Stark:
Visenya Targaryen was a great warrior. She had a Valyrian steel sword she called "Dark Sister".

Tywin Lannister:
(smiles knowingly) Hmm- she's a heroine of yours, I take it? (pause) Aren't most girls more interested in the pretty maids in the songs- Jonquil, with flowers in their hair?

Arya Stark:
(contemptuously) Most girls are idiots.

Tywin Lannister:
(amused) Hah! You remind me of my daughter. (frowns at her curiously again, leans forward) Where did you learn all this stuff about Visenya and her Valyrian steel sword.

Arya Stark:
(realizing the danger, but secretly answering truthfully)... From my father.

Tywin Lannister:
(raises an eyebrow skeptically) He was a well-read stone-mason...(shrugs, leans back and takes a drink) Can't say I've ever met a literate stone-mason.

Arya Stark:
(sarcastically) ...Have you met many stone-masons, my Lord?

Tywin ( lowers his cup, smiles coldly) ...Careful now, girl. I enjoy you, but be careful. (gestures at her half-empty plate of food) Take that back to the kitchen- eat what you want. (Arya nods, collects her dishes and starts toward the door) And girl- "Milord". (Arya turns and frowns at him, confused) Low-born girls say "Milord", not "my Lord". If you're going to pose as a commoner, you should do it properly.

Arya Stark:
(defiantly) My mother served Lady Dustin for many years, my Lord. She taught me how to speak proper- properly.

Tywin Lannister:
(smiles admiringly) You're too smart for your own good- has anyone told you that?

Arya Stark:
(smiles) Yes.

Tywin Lannister:
Go on. (Arya leaves, Tywin smiles to himself)

Cercei:
[to Sansa] Permit me to share some womanly wisdom with you on this very special day. The more people you love, the weaker you are. You do things for them that you know you shouldn't do, you'll act the fool to make them happy, to keep them safe. Love no one but your children. On that front, a mother has no choice.

Pyat Pree:
[to The Thirteen] The Mother of Dragons will be with her babies. She will give them her love and they will thrive by her side. Forever. [The Thirteen have their throats cut by multiple Prees] A mother should be with her children. Where will you run to, Daenerys Stormborn? Your dragons wait for you in the House of the Undying. Come see them.

Tyrion Lannister:
It's just you, me and Joffrey, the "Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm".

Cersei Lannister:
I'm sure you'll make a point eventually.

Tyrion Lannister:
He needs to start acting like a king! This war you started is coming to our doorstep and if the entire city wants Joffrey dead...

Cersei Lannister:
I'm not the one giving the boy whores to abuse!

Tyrion Lannister:
I thought the girls might help him.

Cersei Lannister:
Did you?!

Tyrion Lannister:
I was wrong! If we can't control him-

Cersei Lannister:
Do you think I haven't tried?! He doesn't listen to me!

Tyrion Lannister:
[nodding] It's hard to put a leash on a dog once you've put a crown on its head.

Cersei Lannister:
I always hoped he'd be like Jaime. He looks like him, in a certain light.

Tyrion Lannister:
The boy's more Robert than Jaime.

Cersei Lannister:
Robert was a drunken fool, but he didn't enjoy cruelty. Sometimes, I wonder-

Tyrion Lannister:
What?

Cersei Lannister:
If this is the price for what we've done. For our sins.

Tyrion Lannister:
Sins? The Targaryens-

Cersei Lannister:
Wed brother and sister for hundreds of years, I know. It's what Jaime and I would say to each other in our moments of doubt. It's what I told Ned Stark when he was stupid enough to confront me. Half the Targaryens went mad, didn't they? What's the saying? "Every time a Targaryen is born, the gods flip a coin."

Tyrion Lannister:
[awkwardly] You've beaten the odds. Tommen and Myrcella are good, decent children, both of them.

Jaime Lannister:
Come to say goodbye, Lady Stark? I believe it's my last night in this world. [looks at Brienne] Is that a woman?

Catelyn Stark:
Do you hear them out there? They want your head.

Jaime Lannister:
Well, old Lord Karstark doesn't seem to like me.

Catelyn Stark:
You strangled his son with your chains.

Jaime Lannister:
Oh, oh. Was he the one on guard duty? He was in my way. Any knight would have done the same.

Catelyn Stark:
You are no knight. You have forsaken every vow you ever took.

Jaime Lannister:
So many vows. They make you swear and swear. Defend the King, obey the King, obey your father, protect the innocent, defend the weak. But what if your father despises the King? What if the King massacres the innocent? It's too much. No matter what you do, you're forsaking one vow or another. [indicating Brienne] Where did you find this beast?

Catelyn Stark:
She is a truer knight than you will ever be, Kingslayer.

Jaime Lannister:
Kingslayer. And what a king he was! Here's to Aerys Targaryen, the second of his name, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, Protector of the Realm, and to the sword I shoved in his back!

Catelyn Stark:
You are a man without honor.

Jaime Lannister:
Do you know I've never been with any woman but Cersei? So in my own way, I have more honor than poor old dead Ned. What was the name of the bastard he fathered?

Catelyn Stark:
Brienne.

Jaime Lannister:
No, that wasn't it. Snow, a bastard from the North. Now when- when good old Ned came home with some whore's baby, did you pretend to love it? No. You're not very good at pretending. You're an honest woman. You hated that boy, didn't you? How could you not hate him? The walking, talking reminder that the honorable Lord Eddard Stark f***ed another woman.

Catelyn Stark:
[to Brienne] Your sword.

Theon Greyjoy:
You should be proud of your brother's achievement. I took the great castle of Winterfell with 20 men.

Yara Greyjoy:
You're a great warrior. I saw the bodies above your gates. Which one gave you the tougher fight, the cripple or the six-year-old?

Theon Greyjoy:
I treated the Stark boys with honor and they repaid me with treachery.

Yara Greyjoy:
You treated them with honor by butchering them?

Theon Greyjoy:
Before I had to kill them, I treated them-

Yara Greyjoy:
You seized their home, as is your right. We're Ironborn; we take what we need.

Theon Greyjoy:
Exactly.

Yara Greyjoy:
Then you made them prisoners in their home and they ran away. Is that treachery? I'd call it bravery.

Theon Greyjoy:
They made me a promise-

Yara Greyjoy:
Your little boy prisoners made you a promise and you got mad when they broke it? Are you the dumbest cunt alive?

Theon Greyjoy:
Don't call me a-

Yara Greyjoy:
A cunt. A dumb cunt who killed the only two Starks in Winterfell. You know how valuable those boys were?

Theon Greyjoy:
If I hadn't killed them, the Northerners would think me weak.

Yara Greyjoy:
You are weak. And you're stupid.

[After Jaqen has stated he cannot kill Tywin Lannister in time]

Arya Stark:
You promised you'd help me.

Jaqen H'ghar:
Help was not promised, lovely girl. Only death. There must be others. Give a name, any name.

Arya Stark:
And you'll kill them? Anybody?

Jaqen H'ghar:
By the Seven New Gods and the Old Gods beyond counting, I swear it.

Arya Stark:
Alright. Jaqen H'ghar.

Jaqen H'ghar:
A girl gives a man his own name?

Arya Stark:
That's right.

Jaqen H'ghar:
Gods are not mocked. This is no joking thing.

Arya Stark:
I'm not joking. A man can go kill himself.

Jaqen H'ghar:
Un-name me.

Arya Stark:
No.

Jaqen H'ghar:
Please?

Arya Stark:
I'll unname you.

Jaqen H'ghar:
Thank you.

Arya Stark:
If you help me and my friends escape.

Jaqen H'ghar:
This would require more than one life. This is not part of our bargain.

Arya Stark:
Fine, Jaqen H'ghar.

Jaqen H'ghar:
A girl lacks honor. [Arya shrugs] If I do this thing, a girl must obey.

Arya Stark:
A girl will obey.

Jaqen H'ghar:
A girl and her friends will walk through the gate at midnight.

Davos Seaworth:
I understand why the older families look down at me.

Stannis Baratheon:
Do you? Why?

Davos Seaworth:
My father was a crabber.

Stannis Baratheon:
And?

Davos Seaworth:
Sons of lords don't like to break bread with sons of crabbers; our hands stink.

Stannis Baratheon:
And where were those lords when Storm's End starved?!

Davos Seaworth:
Many fought bravely for your brother. Many fought for the Mad King.

Stannis Baratheon:
You defend these men who insult you behind your back.

Davos Seaworth:
Some are happy to do it to my face.

Stannis Baratheon:
[angry] We were forgotten. Robert and Ned Stark, they were the heroes, the glorious rebels. Marching from battle to battle, liberating towns from the yoke of the Mad King while I held Storm's End with 500 men.

Davos Seaworth:
No one's forgotten, your Grace.

Stannis Baratheon:
No? Robert did. He gave Storm's End to Renly after the war. Renly never fought a day in his life!

Davos Seaworth:
He was only a boy.

Stannis Baratheon:
Then why give him Storm's End? [pause] First, we ate the horses. We weren't riding anywhere, not with the castle surrounded. We couldn't feed them, so fine. The horses, then the cats-I've never liked cats, so fine. I do like dogs - good animals, loyal - but we ate them too. Then the rats... The night before you slipped through, I thought my wife was dying. She couldn't speak anymore, she was so frail. And then you made it through the lines, slipped right through in your little black sail boat with your onions...

Davos Seaworth:
And some potatoes. Some salted beef, I believe.

Stannis Baratheon:
Every man at Storm's End wanted to kiss you that night.

Davos Seaworth:
[smiles] I was relieved they did not.

Stannis Baratheon:
Robert told me to hold Storm's End, so I held it. Then he told me he was giving it to Renly, so I gave it up. Insult or no, I gave it up because Robert was my older brother and he was the king and I've always done my duty. But now, I am the rightful king by every law of Westeros. And when I sit the Iron Throne, you will be my Hand.

Davos Seaworth:
Your Grace...[he kneels] I pray I serve you well.

Stannis Baratheon:
I expect you'll be the first crabber's son to wear the badge.

Cersei Lannister:
[quiet and angry] Do you think I'm an idiot?!

Tyrion Lannister:
I'd say you possess above average intelligence...

Cersei Lannister:
You shipped off my only daughter. Now you want to send my eldest son to the battlefield to die.

Tyrion Lannister:
He'll have his Kingsguard protecting him, he has the finest armour gold can buy; he needs to be out there. The men will fight more fiercely seeing their King fighting beside them, instead of hiding behind his mother's skirts.

Cersei Lannister:
Do you know why Varys is so dangerous?

Tyrion Lannister:
Because he has thousands of spies in his employ? Because he knows everything we do before we do it?

Cersei Lannister:
Because he doesn't have a cock.

Tyrion Lannister:
Neither do you.

Cersei Lannister:
Perhaps I'm dangerous, too. You, on the other hand, are as big a fool as every other man. That little worm between your legs does half your thinking for you.

Tyrion Lannister:
It's not that little. [Cersei laughes humourlessly] Why are you laughing?

Cersei Lannister:
Because I'm happy!

Tyrion Lannister:
[suspicious] And why are you happy?

Cersei Lannister:
Because I have your little whore.

Tyrion Lannister:
[disconcerted, then sarcastic] I thought you preferred blondes.

Cersei Lannister:
Such a droll little fellow. Tell me, have you married this one yet? No? Good, Father will be so pleased!

Tyrion Lannister:
Why do you care who I f***?

Cersei Lannister:
Because a Lannister always pays her debts. You stole my daughter, you plot to have Joffrey killed-

Tyrion Lannister:
This is madness. Stannis will be here in days, you need me.

Cersei Lannister:
For what?! Your skill in battle?! Pretty thing, your whore. Lovely body; the bruises will heal in time...

Tyrion Lannister:
Where did you find her?

Cersei Lannister:
Varys isn't the only one who hears whispers. Really, a Lannister lion necklace? You need to hide your secret whores more carefully.

Tyrion Lannister:
You've forgotten the most important thing about whores...

Cersei Lannister:
Oh? Well, you're the expert, tell me.

Tyrion Lannister:
You don't buy them, you only rent them.

Cersei Lannister:
You're usually a better liar, baby brother. This one you like. You like her very much... [mocking] Could it be love? Don't worry, she'll be treated gently enough... unless Joffrey is hurt, and then every wound he suffers, she'll suffer too. And if he dies, there isn't a man alive who could advise a more painful death for your little cunt.

Tyrion Lannister:
[struggling to hold back his anger] And how do I know you haven't killed her already?

Cersei Lannister:
You'd like to see her? I thought you might. [to the guard] Ser Mandon, bring in my brother's whore. [Two Kingsguard knights drag in a beaten Ros]

Tyrion Lannister:
[to Ros] I'm sorry they hurt you. You must be brave. I promise, I will free you.

Ros:
Don't forget me.

Tyrion Lannister:
Never. [the knights drag her out. Tyrion turns to face a grinning Cersei] I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you are safe and happy and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth... and you will know the debt is paid. [Cersei's grin falters]

Cersei:
Get out.

Joffrey Baratheon:
You're the Master of Whisperers. You're supposed to know everything.

Varys:
No man can be in all rooms at all times. I have many little birds in the North, My Lord, but I haven't heard their songs since Theon Greyojoy captured Winterfell.

Joffrey Baratheon:
The Stark forces are distracted. Now is the time to strike.

Tyrion Lannister:
To strike? My dear nephew, you do see these men preparing the walls for siege? You do understand Stannis Baratheon sails this way?

Joffrey Baratheon:
If my uncle Stannis lands on the shores of King's Landing, I'll ride out to greet him.

Tyrion Lannister:
A brave choice, Your Grace. I'm sure your men will line up behind you.

Joffrey Baratheon:
They say Stannis never smiles. [unsheathes his dagger] I'll give him a red smile, from ear to ear.

(Joffrey walks away, Tyrion and Varys look at each other in amusement)

Tyrion Lannister:
Imagine Stannis's terror.

Varys:
(deadpan) I am trying. (they observe the fortifications)

Tyrion Lannister:
You're an intelligent man. I'd like to think I'm an intelligent man.

Varys:
Oh, no-one disputes that, my Lord... not even the multitudes who despise you.

Tyrion Lannister:
(deadpan) I wish we could converse as two honest, intelligent men.

Varys:
( glances at him, equally deadpan) I wish we could, too. (pause, Tyrion stares at him)

Tyrion Lannister:
What do you want? (Varys looks him in the eye) Tell me.

Varys:
If we're going to play, you'll have to start. (Tyrion shrugs, they both walk over to the edge of the battlements)

Tyrion Lannister:
My brother was the youngest Kingsguard in history. My sister became Queen at the age of nineteen. When I reached manhood... my father put me in charge of all the drains and cisterns in Casterly Rock.

Varys:
A most high-born plumber.

Tyrion Lannister:
The water never flowed better, and all the shit found its way to the sea. I never expected to have any real power, so when my father named me acting Hand-

Varys:
You're quite good at being Hand, you know. Jon Arryn and Ned Stark were good men- honorable men- but they disdained the Game and those who played. You... enjoy the Game.

Tyrion Lannister:
I do. Last thing I expected.

Varys:
And you play it well.

Tyrion:
I'd like to keep playing it. (they both look out over Blackwater Bay) But if Stannis breaches the gates, the Game is over.

Varys:
They say he burns his enemies alive, to honor the Lord of Light.

Tyrion Lannister:
The Lord of Light wants his enemies burned. The Drowned God wants them drowned. Why are all the gods such vicious cunts? Where is the god of tits and wine?

Varys:
In the Summer Isles, they worship a fertility goddess with sixteen teats.

Tyrion Lannister:
We should sail there immediately. (Varys looks around, then leans close to Tyrion)

Varys:
This morning, I heard a song- all the way from Qarth, beyond the Red Waste. (Tyrion glances at him) Daenerys Targaryen lives.

Tyrion Lannister:
A girl at the edge of the world is the least of our problems.

Varys:
She has three dragons... but, even if what they say is true, it'll be years before they are fully grown... and then there will be nowhere to hide.

Tyrion Lannister:
One Game at a time, my friend.

Ser Jorah Mormont:
Careful, Khaleesi. Xaro owns this city and the warlocks have a thousand eyes watching for you. I found one. A ship with a good captain. She leaves for Astapor tomorrow.

Daenerys Targaryen:
Astapor?

Ser Jorah Mormont:
We cannot stay here.

Daenerys Targaryen:
They have my dragons! A mother does not flee without her children.

Ser Jorah Mormont:
They're not your children. I know they call you the Mother of Dragons, and I know you love them, but you did not grow them in your womb. They did not suckle at your breast. They are dragons, Khaleesi, and if we stay in Qarth we'll die.

Daenerys Targaryen:
You should sail to Astapor. I'm sure you'll be safe there. [turns and walks away]

Ser Jorah Mormont:
You know I would die for you. I will never abandon you. I'm sworn to protect you. To serve.

Daenerys Targaryen:
Then serve me! If my dragons are in the House of the Undying, then take me there.

Ser Jorah Mormont:
That's what the warlock wants. He told you so himself! If you enter that place you will never leave again. His magic is strong.

Daenerys Targaryen:
And what of my magic? You saw me step into the fire. You watched the witch burn, and what did the flames do to me? Do you remember?

Ser Jorah Mormont:
Until my last breath I will remember. After I have forgotten my mother's face.

Daenerys Targaryen:
[strokes Jorah's face] They are my children, and they are the only children I will ever have. Take me to them.

[As they approach King's Landing]

Matthos Seaworth:
You're coming home

Davos Seasworth:
King's Landing hasn't been home for 20 years. I spent most of my life dodging the Royal Fleet. And now I'm sailing right at them.

Matthos Seasworth:
This is the Royal Fleet. And you're not a smuggler anymore, you're the High Captain.

Davos Seasworth:
Of course there are several Royal Fleets at the moment.

Matthos Seasworth:
Not after tonight. When the sun rises, Stannis will sit on the Iron Throne and you will be his Hand.

Davos Seasworth:
Gods be good.

Matthos Seasworth:
God. Father, there is only one and he watches over us.

Davos Seasworth:
But not over them?

Matthos Seasworth:
Over all of us. The people of King's Landing did not choose the false King Joffrey Baratheon. They will be glad to see his head on a spike.

Davos Seasworth:
Well, first we have to put it there.

Matthos Seasworth:
Our ships outnumber theirs ten to one. Our army outnumber theirs five to one.

Davos Seasworth:
Those walls have never been breached. And the men guarding the walls, when they see you, they don't see a liberator. They see a stranger come to set their city on fire.

Matthos Seasworth:
I have faith in the Lord of Light. I have faith in our cause. And I have faith in my captain.

[The Baratheon fleet approaches King's Landing unopposed]

Davos Seaworth:
(alarmed) Where are their ships?

Matthos Seaworth:
It is wise to attack at night; We took them by surprise.

Davos Seaworth:
Lord Varys knows what you had for breakfast three days ago. There are no surprises here.

Matthos Seaworth:
Is it true that there's dissension in their ranks? Maybe their sailors have mutinied.

Davos Seaworth:
Maybe...

Lancel Lannister:
Where's our fleet?!

Tyrion Lannister:
On their way.

Joffrey Baratheon:
Why isn't it here now?! They're coming! [Tyrion ignores him] Hound, tell the Hand that his King has asked him a question.

Sandor Clegane:
(sighs) The King has asked you a question.

Tyrion Lannister:
Ser Lancel, tell the Hound to tell the King that the Hand is extremely busy.

Lancel Lannister:
[to Sandor] The Hand would like me to tell you, to tell the King-

Joffrey Baratheon:
If I tell the Hound to cut you in half, he'll do it without a second thought.

Tyrion Lannister:
That would make me the "Quarter Man"; just doesn't have the same ring to it. Cut me in half and I won't be able to give the signal. No signal, no plan. No plan and Stannis Baratheon sacks this city, takes the Iron Throne, puts your pinched little head atop a gate somewhere. It might be quite amusing, except my head would be up there too! I've never much liked my head, but I don't want to see it removed just yet.

Sandor Clegane:
[leading Lannister troops into battle] If any man dies with a clean sword, I'LL RAPE HIS FUCKING CORPSE!

Tyrion Lannister:
[quietly, to himself] I'll lead the attack. [rallying his troops] I'll lead the attack! Pod, my helmet. Ser Mandon, you will bear the King's banner. Men, form up! Men! Men! They say I'm half a man, but what does that make the lot of you?!

Lannister Soldier:
The only way out is through the gates, and they're at the gates!

Tyrion Lannister:
There's another way out; I'm going to show you. We'll come out behind them and f*** them in their arses! [the men laugh] Don't fight for your king and don't fight for his kingdoms! Don't fight for honour, don't fight for glory, don't fight for riches, because you won't get any! This is your city Stannis means to sack, that's your gate he's ramming! If he gets in, it'll be your houses he burns, your gold he steals, your women he'll rape. Those are brave men knocking at our door. Let's go kill them! [the men cheer]

Sandor Clegane:
The lady's starting to panic.

Sansa Stark:
[starts in surprise] What are you doing here?

Sandor Clegane:
Not here long. I'm going.

Sansa Stark:
Where?

Sandor Clegane:
Someplace that isn't burning. North, might be. Could be.

Sansa Stark:
What about the King?

Sandor Clegane:
He can die just fine on his own. I can take you with me. Take you to Winterfell. I'll keep you safe. Do you want to go home?

Sansa Stark:
I'll be safe here. Stannis won't hurt me.

Sandor Clegane:
[steps in close, frightening Sansa] Look at me. Stannis is a killer. The Lannisters are killers. Your father was a killer. Your brother is a killer. Your sons will be killers someday. The world is built by killers. So you'd better get used to looking at them.

Sansa Stark:
You won't hurt me.

Sandor Clegane:
No, little bird, I won't hurt you.

Cersei Lannister:
(believing the battle is lost) Shh. Calm, my sweet.

Tommen Baratheon:
They're still fighting.

Cersei Lannister:
No one's going to hurt you. I'll tell you a story. You know the one about the mother lion and her little cub; they lived in the woods.

Tommen Baratheon:
The Kingswood.

Cersei Lannister:
Yes, my love. In the Kingswood lived a mother and her cub. She loved him very much, but there were other things that lived in the woods. Evil things.

Tommen Baratheon:
Like what?

Cersei Lannister:
Like stags.

Tommen Baratheon:
Stags aren't evil. They only eat grass.

Cersei Lannister:
And wolves. They could hear them crying in the night, and the cub was frightened. His mother said, you are a lion, my son. You mustn't be afraid, for one day all the beasts will bow to you. You will be king. All the stags will bow, all the wolves will bow, the bears in the north and the foxes of the south, all the birds in the sky and the beasts in the sea. They will all come to you, little lion, to rest a crown upon your head. And the cub said, will I be strong and fierce like my father? Yes, said his mother. You will be strong and fierce, just like your father. (takes out a bottle of poison) I will keep you safe, my love. (brings the poison to Tommen's lips) I promise you. (seconds before Tommen drinks the poison, Lannister and Tyrell soldiers burst into the throne room, along with Tywin Lannister and Loras Tyrell) Father! (drops the poison)

Tywin Lannister:
The battle is over; We have won!

Joffrey Baratheon:
I, Joffrey of the House Baratheon, First of My Name, the rightful king of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm, do hereby proclaim my grandfather Tywin Lannnister the savior of the city and the Hand of the King.

Tywin Lannister:
Thank you, Your Grace.

Joffrey Baratheon:
Lord Petyr Baelish, step forward. For your good service and ingenuity in uniting the Houses of Lannister and Tyrell, I declare you shall be granted the castle of Harrenhal with all its attendant lands and incomes to be held by your sons and grandsons from this day until the end of time.

Petyr Baelish:
You honor me beyond words, Your Grace. I shall have to acquire some sons and grandsons.

Joffrey Baratheon:
Ser Loras Tyrell. Your House has come to our aid. The whole realm is in your debt, none more so than I. If your family would ask anything of me, ask it and it shall be yours.

Loras Tyrell:
Your Grace, my sister Margaery, her husband was taken from us before... She remains innocent. I would ask you to find it in your heart to do us the great honor of joining our Houses.

Joffrey Baratheon:
Is this what you want, Lady Margaery?

Margaery Tyrell:
With all my heart, Your Grace. I have come to love you from afar. Tales of your courage and wisdom have never been far from my ears. And those tales have taken root deep inside of me.

Joffrey Baratheon:
Well, I too have heard tales of your beauty and grace, but the tales, do not do you justice, My Lady. It would be an honor to return your love, but I am promised to another. A King must keep his word.

Cersei Lannister:
Your Grace, in the judgment of your Small Council, it would neither be proper nor wise for you to wed the daughter of a man beheaded for treason, a girl whose brother is in open rebellion against the throne as we speak. For the good of the realm, your councilors beg you to set Sansa Stark aside.

Joffrey Baratheon:
I would like to heed your wishes and the wishes of my people, but I took a holy vow.

Grand Maester Pycelle:
Your Grace, the Gods do indeed hold betrothal solemn, but your father, blessed be his memory, made this pact before the Starks revealed their falseness. I have consulted with the High Septon and he assures me that their crimes against the realm free you from any promise you have made to them in the sight of the Gods.

Joffrey Baratheon:
The Gods are good. I am freed to heed my heart. Ser Loras, I will gladly wed your sweet sister. [to Margaery] You will be my Queen and I will love you from this day until my last day.

Daenerys Targaryen:
[while experiencing a vision, enters a Dothraki hut to find Khal Drogo and their son]

Khal Drogo:
Moon of my life.

Daenerys Targaryen:
This is dark magic, like the magic that took you from me. Took you from me before I could even...Maybe I am dead and I just don't know it yet. Maybe I am with you in the Night Lands.

Khal Drogo:
Or maybe I refused to enter the Night Lands without you. Maybe I told the Great Stallion to go f*** himself and came back here to wait for you.

Daenerys Targaryen:
[smiles tearfully] That sounds like something you would do.

Khal Drogo:
Or maybe it is a dream. Your dream. My dream. I do not know. These are questions for wise men with skinny arms. You are the moon of my life. That is all I know and all I need to know. And if this is a dream, I will kill the man who tries to wake me.

Daenerys Targaryen:
Until the sun rises in the west and sets in the east, until the rivers run dry and the mountains blow in the wind like leaves.

Pyat Pree:
They miss their mother. They want to be with you. Do you want to be with them? You will be. When your dragons were born our magic was born again. It is strongest in their presence, and they are strongest in yours. You will be with them through winter, summer and winter again. Just a thousand, thousand seasons you will be with them, and we will be with you until time comes to and end. Welcome home, Daenerys Stormborn.

Daenerys Targaryen:
This is not my home. My home is across the sea where my people are waiting for me.

Pyat Pree:
They will be waiting a long time.

Stannis Baratheon:
You said you saw my victory in the flames.

Melisandre:
I did. I still see it.

Stannis Baratheon:
The flames lied. And I'm no better than a savage, trusting in a fire god! I fought for your god in Blackwater Bay. I led my men to the gates of the Seventh Hell as their brothers burned alive and for what?! An attack from behind by Tywin Lannister and the Tyrells?! If you see so much in your flames, why didn't you warn me?!

Melisandre:
The Lord of Light only allows me glimpses-!

Stannis Baratheon:
You claim to speak for a god!

Melisandre:
Will you quit the war just because you've lost a battle?

Stannis Baratheon:
You talk about war as if you understand it.

Melisandre:
I've been fighting far longer than you.

Stannis Baratheon:
Have you? Show me how you fight! [Stannis seizes Melisandre by the throat and starts throttling her] Show me! Where is your god now? Will he save you? [Melisandre stops struggling] Where is your god?!

Melisandre:
Inside you. [stunned, Stannis releases her]

Stannis Baratheon:
[horrified] I murdered my brother!

Melisandre:
We murdered him. Share the weight with me.

Stannis Baratheon:
He wasn't your brother.

Melisandre:
This war has just begun. It will last for years. Thousands will die at your command. You will betray the men serving you, you will betray your family, you will betray everything you once held dear...and it will all be worth it, because you are the Son of Fire, you are the Warrior of Light. You will sweep aside this pretender and that one; you will be king.

[Theon Greyjoy rallies his men for battle. A horn blows outside Winterfell]

Theon Greyjoy:
You hear that? That's the mating call of the Northmen. They want to f*** us! Well, I haven't had a good f*** in weeks, I'm ready for one! [his men laugh] They say every Ironborn man is worth a dozen from the mainland. You think they're right?!

Black Lorren:
Aye.

Theon Greyjoy:
We die today, brothers. We die bleeding from a hundred wounds, with arrows in our necks and spears in our guts...but our war cries will echo through eternity! They will sing about the Battle of Winterfell until the Iron Islands have slipped beneath the waves! Every man, woman and child will know who we were and how long we stood! Aggar and Gelmar, Wex and Urzen, Stygg and Black Lorren! Ironborn warriors will cry out our names as they leap onto the shores of Seagard and Faircastle.

Ironborn:
Aye!

Theon Greyjoy:
Mothers will name their sons for us!

Ironborn:
Aye!

Theon Greyjoy:
Girls will think of us with us with their lovers inside them!

Ironborn:
Aye! [the horn blows again]

Theon Greyjoy:
And whoever kills that f***ing horn blower will stand in bronze above the shores of Pyke!

Ironborn:
Aye!

Theon Greyjoy:
WHAT IS DEAD MAY NEVER DIE!

Ironborn:
What is dead may never die! [As Theon screams a war cry, Dagmer hits him over the head with a spear, knocking him out]

Black Lorren:
Thought he'd never shut up.

Dagmer Cleftjaw:
It was a good speech. Didn't want to interrupt.

[After Xaro's deceit is revealed]

Jorah Mormont:
It's all a lie.

Daenerys Targaryen:
Looks real enough to me. [takes a golden bowl] Real enough to buy a ship?

Jorah Mormont:
Aye, a small ship. [to the Dothraki] Take all the gold and jewels!

Tyrion Lannister:
Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.

Arya Stark:
" Winter is Coming"