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Jacket: I'm so sorry, folks. I-I just...lied to y'all. How can I condemn my wife cheating on me when I did something worse? I cheated my audience. Jacket: The only righteous thing for me to do is to rededicate myself and this show to the integrity and moral purpose that white people deserve. I'll see you next week. Jakcet: [talks to Direne who's still tied up] Get over here. No, you stay there. I'll come to you. – The Heart, She Holler (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 52 mins ago
Hurlan: [talks about Meemaw] Her cursed presence is a caucasian cancer on the continent. – The Heart, She Holler (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 1 hour ago
Narrator: ...And our lives are filled with meaning forever, as long as the screams don't get so loud that they wake the ants that are dreaming us. – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 18 hours ago
Narrator: But alas, someone always get hurt in love. And when one raw-dogs it with a mirror, the fruit of your vain comes home to roost... – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 18 hours ago
Doug Dwyer: [panting] You're killing me. Killing me. Kill me. Kill me harder. Kill me harder. Kill me deeper. Kill me harder. Kill me harder, kill me deeper, kill me harder. – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 18 hours ago
Narrator: And Doug got to experience every man's fantasy -- a two-way with himself. – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 18 hours ago
Narrator: It got so steamy, even his vanity became aroused. – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 18 hours ago
Narrator: When he reflected on his strengths, Doug finally began to love himself. And when a man finds self-esteem, he can coax himself to go all the way. – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 18 hours ago
Doug Dwyer: [thinking] And the noble prize for the Most Random Series of Numbers of All Time goes to...Dougie Dwyer! – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 18 hours ago
Narrator: When he realized that no one believed in him, Doug rushed home to see if he was there. – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 18 hours ago
Doug Dwyer: You can fire me, but one day I'll show you. I'll show you all. [Doug suddenly pulls out his guns taped from his muscles and gunfires the building] Boss: Christ, Dwyer! It's too loud. – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 19 hours ago
Boss: Feisty little bastard. Oh, wait. That's what going on. Feisty little bitch, I should say -- protecting her eggs. Doug Dwyer: Eggs? I'm a little scared. Boss: It's okay. She got the little things hatching right now. – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 19 hours ago
Hurlan: I understand every atom of information in the universe, not least of which are the secrets of this Holler! – The Heart, She Holler (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 19 hours ago
Doug Dwyer: What the heck-fire? – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 2 days ago
Boss: We are so freaking disappointed in your output, Dwyer. Everyone else in this department types at lest 10,000 random numbers a day. Your average is 19. Doug Dwyer: Sorry, sir. It's just -- Boss: What's so hard about it? Just type random numbers as fast as you can. See? Ding, ding, ding, ding. That's it. Easy peasy. Now you try. Go! [Doug Dwyer still gets confused which number to type] Boss: Just hit numbers! Faster! Faster! Doug Dwyer: But I can never decide which number to choose. Boss: Don't think about it. Just type. It's random. Doug Dwyer: I know, but I still want it to be good. Boss: Well, it isn't good. – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 2 days ago
Meemaw: You have proved your intelligence! Sorry we manipulated you! Hurlan: Manipulated me? When? Meemaw: Doesn't matter. Sometimes, delusion is more true than the truth. [Meemaw showed him the stitches that Hurlan made after he fixed up the TV version of Meemaw that transfers her to the original Meemaw] Hurlan: Wait, uh, you mean that you're saying the opposite of what you mean, and I'm not smart? TV Meemaw: No! Meemaw: Yes! TV Meemaw: No! Meemaw: Yes! TV Meemaw: No! Meemaw: Yes! TV Meemaw: No! Meemaw: Yes! – The Heart, She Holler (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 4 days ago
Hurshe: Hot dog! Hurlan: You speakum hot dog? – The Heart, She Holler (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 4 days ago
ariel what what is it scuttle its a dingle hopper humans use these little babies to straighten there hair up – The Little Mermaid (1989)	added by Chevymcg7 4 days ago
JASMINE IA'M NOT A PRIZE TO BE WON – Aladdin (1992)	added by Chevymcg7 5 days ago
HEY SLOW DOWN YOU'LL WORK YOURSELF TO DEATH – Hercules (1997)	added by Chevymcg7 5 days ago
Indian Mobster: Why will you not die already? Severed Head: Uh, why don't you brush your teeth already? [Audience laughs] Indian Mobster: I'm warning you -- keep it up and I'll stop this holy war right now. Severed Head: Bawk-bawk, honey. A-bawk-bawk. [slide whistle plays] Severed Head: Mm, check the hottie in the front row. Hey, uh, missy, you care for a three-way? or at least a 2 1/4-way? [Audience laughs] Severed Head: Hey, I'm not severed where it counts. Indian Mobster: Please die, for the love of Allah. Severed Head: Tell you what, I'll die if you answer one question. Indian Mobster: You have a deal. Fire away. Severed Head: Why does your faith glorify hate? [Audience gasping] Indian Mobster: You really want to know? For me, it's -- s-see, I never had a mother. [sniffles] [Audience boos] Severed Head: Wait, wait, if you never had a mom, then how do you exist at all? Indian Mobster: Jumpin' Jihad, you're right. [The Indian Mobster disappeared out of existence] [Audience cheered and applause] – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 7 days ago
Narrator: When their healing work is done, our wounds begin to heal themselves. – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 7 days ago
Hurshe: Let's chop-chop this boot knock! I got poon to peddle! – The Heart, She Holler (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 7 days ago
Hambrosia: Look at that vase over there. Now focus all your lack of coitus into it. [Hurshe breaks the vase with her mind powers] Hambrosia: Being worthless can be pretty useful huh, sis? Hurshe: Teach me how to hone the power of my crotchular zilch, and together we can take over the Holler for good. – The Heart, She Holler (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 7 days ago

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