Found 2,194 quotes starting with IF:

If you serve everybody, you will get thanks from nobody.
– Vikrant ParsaiRate it:
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer
– Steven WrightRate it:
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
– Steven WrightRate it:
If you shoot for the stars and hit the moon, it's OK. But you've got to shoot for something. A lot of people don't even shoot.
– Robert TownsendRate it:
If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend.
– Stone Temple PilotsRate it:
If you should put even a little on a little and should do this often, soon this would become big.
– HesiodRate it:
If you shout at home you will bark away from home.
– Vikrant ParsaiRate it:
If you show off do not get upset when God doesn't show up.
– Matshona DhliwayoRate it:
If you sincerely desire a _truly_ well-rounded education, you must study the extremists, the obscure and "nutty". You need the balance! Your poor brain is already being impregnated with middle-of-the-road crap, twenty-four hours a day, _no matter what_. Network TV, newspapers, radio, magazines at the supermarket... even if you never watch, read, listen, or leave your house, even if you are deaf and blind, the _telepathic pressure alone_ of the uncountable normals surrounding you will insure that you are automatically well- grounded in consensus reality.
– Rev. Ivan Stang - High Weirdness By MailRate it:
If you sit by the river long enough, you will see the body of your enemy float by.
– Japanese Proverb, Also quoted in the movie Rising SunRate it:
If you sit down and don't see a fish at the table, the fish is you.
– Ken FlatonRate it:
If you sit down at set of sun And count the acts that you have done, And counting find One self-denying deed, one word That eased the heart of him who heard One glance most kind That fell like sunshine where it went- Then you may count that day well spent.
– George EliotRate it:
If you sleep under a tree, you can’t prevent the leaf from falling on you.
– Vikrant ParsaiRate it:
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
– Andy RooneyRate it:
If you speak the truth, have a foot in the stirrup.
– Turkish proverbRate it:
If you speak the truth, keep a foot in the stirrup.
– Turkish ProverbRate it:
If you spend more on coffee than on IT security, you will be hacked. What’s more, you deserve to be hacked.
– Richard ClarkeRate it:
If you spend too much time warming up, you'll miss the race. If you don't warm up at all, you may not finish the race.
– Grand HeidrichRate it:
If you stand straight Do not fear a crooked shadow.
– Chinese ProverbRate it:
If you start drinking wine before dinner it's National Wine Day, If you start drinking wine before breakfast it's National Wino Day. Only you know what day it is. -Johnny Wowk
– Johnny WowkRate it:
If you start throwing hedgehogs under me, I shall throw a couple of porcupines under you.
– Nikita KhrushchevRate it:
If you stay here much longer, you'll all be slitty-eyed. (on a state visit to China)
– Prince PhillipRate it:
If you stay in Beverly Hills too long you become a Mercedes.
– Robert RedfordRate it:
If you steal from one author, its plagiarism. If you steal from two, its research.
– Wilson MiznerRate it:
If you stop reading and learning, you will start repeating yourself; that's why, old people always repeat the same things!
– Mehmet Murat ildanRate it:

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