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Kamal: I have a question. Why do you praise yourself in the third person? Satan: Well, obvious I'm Satan, so that's uh -- That's a joke. Kamal: Oh. Satan: Satan like the ladies. Satan don't play that. You know, that's all. Kamal: I get. But what about this on the first slide? Why does it say that your name is Darren? [worried] Is that also comedy? Satan (Darren): Darren's such a ridiculous name. You ever -- Ever use these? Kamal: Chop sticks? Yeah, you know, d-depending on the cuisine sometimes. Satan (Darren): Just had some Chinese food. I had some, uh, moo shu pork. Kamal: Oh, moo shu's a real funny -- Funny name. Satan: Yeah, it's funny. I can still smell the moo shu. Do you smell that? Yeah? Kamal: Like soy sauce? Satan: Mhmm. Kamal: And I'm getting a little ginger, maybe turmeric? Satan: Oh, there you go. Yeah. [Satan forcefully shoves the chop sticks up Kamal's nose] Satan: Oh, wait, uh, where's the clicker thing? I need the click-- Kamal: [strained muttering while pointing towards the record player] Satan: Attaboy. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Satan: The newer tablets are portable and thinner than ever, but not so small when being forced inside a human rectum. Satan: [to Kamal] Slide. [Kamal slides Satan's card presentations] Satan: And of course, the classics -- Curling irons, lava, spikes, popcorn. We're shoving the most cutting-edge technology up people's asses, and now with 3-D printers, the only limit is our imagination. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: [to Shark on phone] Hello? Shark: Did you found my record? [cuts to next scene where Mouse finds a random severed hand] Shark: You found it, didn't you? Shark: Now, spin it. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Roostre: You know radar is spelled backwards is radar. Did you know that? Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: [pauses] Roostre: You're thinkin' about it ain't ya? Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Maybe. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[Fitz shoots one of Shark's cameras inside his house] Shark: Now, little guy's cameraphobic. Should have known. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[Gary and Benji watch their last orientation video for over 50 years] Gary Bunda (as Satan): [rapping] Straight Outta The Alphabet. That's the name of this cassette. Can I buy a vowel? You know you got five. Unless you want to count sometimes "Y". As in the question... Gary Bunda: [muffled] You know what is most surprising of all? Benji: [muffled] What? Gary Bunda: [muffled] I sound black. Benji: [muffled] You do. Gary Bunda: I really sound black. Gary Bunda: [muffled] If I could close my eyes, I would be like, "Is that Harley Davidson Jr.?" I can't think of a black man's name right now, I'm in too much pain. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[Gary and Benji see the final result of the Alphabet video on cinema] Gary Bunda: You guys are in for a show. [chuckles] Where's everybody else? Satan: Oh, no, it's just you two. Let's get 'em strapped in. [Gary and Benji have been strapped into their watching torture chambers to see their video for a long time] Satan: I've got some, uh, eye drops here in case you guys need a little moisture. Gary Bunda: [muffled] I can't reach the eye droppers. Satan: And, uh, we'll see you guys in, like, 50 years. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Benji: No cuts, three cameras -- Like a telethon. [to Gary] And we need to repair your instrument. I need some hot tea with lemon -- ASAP! Dizzay: We ain't got no lemons down here. Benji: There's a whole box of lemons over by Paper Cuts. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[Gary makes another letter orientation video in the Hot Liquids] Gary Bunda: [rapping hoarsely] Two of these and the name Jeff. And that's my rhyme about the letter "F". Gary Bunda: [hoarsely] Cut! Alright, we nailed it. Okay. Alright, everybody, um...alright, action. We need action on the other set. Quiet on this different set. Action on the other set, though. Alright, so action -- Other set. VC (as Princess Leia): [rapping] Straight Outta The Letter "C". It sound like the letter "D" Gary Bunda: Who's rapping incoherently? VC (as Princess Leia): I'm rapping. Gary Bunda: Why are you rapping? VC (as Princess Leia): You called action. Gary Bunda: I called action on the other set, V.C.! VC: Oh, I -- Gary Bunda: Alright, yes. You are wrong, I am right. [coughs] Next, we're gonna be doing the letter "G," as in ghost." So...action on the other-other set. VC (as Princess Leia): [rapping] It sound like the letter "C". Gary Bunda: I swear to Christ, V.C., I'm gonna split you in half. VC (as Princess Leia): [rapping] It sound like the letter "D". Gary Bunda: You are FIRED! YOUR -- YOUR OLD ASS IS FIRED! EVERYBODY'S FIRED! YOU are fired, YOU are fired, YOU are fired, YOU are fired, YOU are fired, YOU are fired -- Everybody's fired! [sobs] I'm fired. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Satan: Hey, listen, Gar, I hate to tell you this, but I badly need more of these videos. Gary Bunda: Oh, sure thing, B. How many you need? You know I love to work. Satan: I need a Straight Outta video for every letter of the alphabet. Gary Bunda: All 20...? Satan: 26...uh, of the letters. Gary Bunda: 26. Satan: Straight Outta A, Straight Outta B...you get it. I want 'em all. Gary Bunda: Cool -- Cool 'mo B, absolutely. Satan: Alright. Gary Bunda: I'm gonna -- Yeah. Satan: Hit it. Gary Bunda: Dizzy fo' shizzy, absolutely. Um, what is the deadline on all that? Satan: Oh, tomorrow. I'm gonna screen them in the auditorium for everyone. Gary Bunda: Do you mind if I ask, like, why the whole alphabet? Satan: I mind. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Ted (as Princess Leia): [rapping] Straight Outta Understanding How to Log Into Your E-mail. You don't wanna have an E-mail fail. Are you gonna log onto your E-mail? Here's to logging into E-mail. Gary Bunda: Okay, hang on. Cut, cut, cut, cut! Did you write these raps? Ted (as Princess Leia): Yes, these are my rhymes. Gary Bunda: Yeah, of course they rhyme It's because you're saying the same G.D. word, Ted! "You got to log into your E-mail. You're gonna be forced to eat a whole bunch of kale. Or you're gonna have to have sex with a she-male." You see what I'm saying? Ted (as Princess Leia): Are we allowed to say "she-male"? Gary Bunda: No, Ted, you pig! Did you not watch "Straight Outta Workplace Sensitivity Training"? The Force is not with you, my friend. Take the buns off! [as Yoda] A rapper you are not. Gary Bunda: Y'all too white. E'rybody in this dang room is too white, but me. I'm the blackest man that's ever been. I'm as black as Oprah's pocketbook. Black as 85% Whole Foods dark chocolate! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
VC: And the "Straight Outta How to R-Repair the Network" video goes on this whole rigamarole about R2-D2 and C-T3P. Satan: [pronouncing] C-3PO. VC: I just didn't find any of that helpful. Satan: Your fly is down. VC: Oh. Excuse me. [zip] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Troy: Every one of these is "Straight Outta"? Mike: [scoffs] That's what I'm saying. Gary Bunda: What? How do you mean? Troy: You could have done "Satan's Got Racks"... Mike: [chuckles] Troy: ...instead of "Baby's Got" -- like, "Baby's Got Back." Mike: Yeah, that's -- That's pretty funny. Troy: Yeah. Mike: That's good. Gary Bunda: But it's not. Gary Bunda: I tell you what's funny, right? Straight Outta Videos! The Straight Outta brand is very simple. It is "Straight Outta" and then a bunch of words about different subjects, right, and the only things that are the same are the words "Straight Outta" and the melody and the rhymes for each song -- And the beat. Troy: When did you have time to do all these? Gary Bunda: I did not made any one of these. I just have the boxes. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Gary Bunda: I'll tell you out here, this is "Straight Outta Making Walls Bleed." This is the new hot realness. [Gary makes another orientation video again] Gary Bunda (as Satan): [rapping] Straight Outta Making Walls Bleed. We're about to paint this joint crimson, indeed. Uh-huh. Gary Bunda: Now, you're going to digitally add bleeding walls into that, right? Mike: [tired] Yeah. Yes, I'm gonna do that. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[Gary sees his process of his new orientation video in the editing room] Gary Bunda (as Satan): [rapping] Staight Outta Summoning Snakes. Ya gotta do what it takes. Gotta raise the stakes when you're summoning snakes. Gary Bunda: What are you doing? Damn it, Mike. Quit doing the cutaways to the snakes. Alright, I want you to stick to the close-up of me. Mike: I thought maybe, uh, we should eventually get to the snake. Gary Bunda: Why don't you turn that telephone cord that I'm playing with, obviously like a snake into some sort of snake? Mike: I was wondering why...you couldn't just actually summon the snake in the video, uh, instead of having me do that with the phone. Gary Bunda: I don't have time to watch a video that I haven't made yet to learn how to summon snakes, which I don't know how to do! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[Gary makes another orientation video in the office] Gary Bunda (as Satan): [rapping] Straight Outta Workplace Conflict Resolution. You better watch my elocution. Or you're gonna be facing workplace execution. [Troy get bumped by the camera crew] Troy: Ah, what?! Gary! Gary Bunda (as Satan): I dropped my flow. Troy: Gary! We're trying to work here! Gary Bunda (as Satan): Uh, yeah, so am I, out here. I don't know if maybe you couldn't notice. And maybe if you watch the "Straight Outta Workplace Conflict Resolution" video when I'm done making it, you'll be able to handle these kind of situations. Troy: Maybe you should make "Straight Outta Stop Being an Asshole and Dress Up Like a Doofus" and let people work. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[After Satan likes the new orientation video Gary made] Satan: Benji, I want Gary in charge of all internal videos from now on. Benji: But I run the video department. Satan: Yeah, not anymore, Benji. You are going to Rapes. [Benji pulled a interesting expression when he heard "Rapes"] Satan: Wait a minute. You like Rapes. You're going to Hot Liquids. [Benji drops down the happy expression] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Satan: I've never seen anything like this, where you -- You take a famous song, and then you -- You spoof it, you know? A spoof? Troy: "Weird" Al Yankovic. Satan: I don't know who that is. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[After the demons are done watching the new orientation tape video] Satan: So, what did everybody think of this? Gary Bunda: There's like three more minutes of it. Satan: Okay, we don't -- Yeah, we get -- We get the idea. Troy: I don't understand at all what Batman...much less, uh, a peripheral villain of his has to do with our organization. Troy: I can count at least seven or eight different licensing issues we're gonna have -- Music, character usage. Troy: I also think it's weird that the song is "Straight Outta Hades," and this is directed towards people who are coming into Hades! Satan: I thought it was really dope. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[Gary plays the new orientation tape video] Gary Bunda (as Satan): [rapping] Straight Outta Hades. Crazy motherf*er named Satan. Hit your knees and start to felatin'. When you meet me, you best greet me. Or I'll put my horse hoof up your cheap seat. Gary Bunda (as Satan): [rapping] Paid time off, there is none. Health benefits, you get one. Everyone here gets to live forever. And I'm grating your brain like a block of cheddar. Caleb: [painfully shredded] Yeah, boyyy. Gary Bunda (as Satan): Or Gouda! Benji: I had nothing to do with this. Satan: You're in it. Benji: What? Satan: You're in it. Benji: Huh? [the demons sees Benji on the music video] Benji: [rapping] Straight Outta Hades, dawg. You see any ladies? William and VC's the only ones twerkin'. So the masturbating spider is jerkin' HARD. He's the head of HR. Gary Bunda: [to Benji] This guy is the dopest motherfer I've ever met in my life. Benji:* I'm a -- I'm a team player. Gary Bunda (as Satan): The commode. That's where your face goes. When Satan is waiting to explode with a load. No one can save you, not even Bruce Wayne. And if you don't believe me why don't you ask Bane. Ted (as Bane): [muffled rapping] Gary Bunda (as Satan): We got Bane! Satan: Who is this? Who's this guy with the tubes coming out of his face? Gary Bunda: That's Bane. That's Batman's bisexual nemesis. Yeah, and he may be a little difficult to understand, but what he's saying is, [deep voice] He'll be bringing the thunder down on Boy Wonder. And then you have permission to die." – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[After Mr. Neighbor inhaling his demons he conquered] Mr. Neighbor: Whoo! [chuckles] So, you see, I don't have any demons or repressions or any of that silly stuff. All I have is good memories. Mr. Neighbor: I'll see you at my birthday party, Donna the Mystic. Thanks for trying. [Mr. Neighbor leaves happily like there's nothing happening] Donna the Mystic: Ugh. That's gonna manifest in a cold sore. Todd the Demon: I know, right? – Mr. Neighbor's House ()	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Donna the Mystic: Start answering questions! Listen to your demons! Mr. Neighbor: There are no demons to talk about! Donna the Mystic: Set yourself free from the hell within you! Demon 2: Clearly, the floral purse is about your mo-- [Mr. Neighbor starts go into demon mode] Mr. Neighbor: I AM THE FATHER AND THE SON AND THE FATHER OF THE SON! MY SEED IS THE ALL OF THE EVERYTHING! [Mr. Neighbor inhales the demons into his mouth intensely] – Mr. Neighbor's House ()	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Mr. Neighbor: Why would I want a pocketbook? There's no reason I'm a man. That would make a man who has a pocketbook? Donna the Mystic: It mean you have a man with a repressed connection to a pocketbook. Mr. Neighbor: No. No. Demon 2: Listen to her. Demon 1: Look up here, you little bald bitch. – Mr. Neighbor's House ()	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Todd the Demon: Yo, bros, what's the 411 with our mental landlord here? Demon 1: [scoffs] Demon 2: Not now, Todd. Demon 1: Come on, Todd. Nobody says, "What's the 411?" anymore. – Mr. Neighbor's House ()	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago

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