Found 2,059 quotes starting with IF:

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If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him.
– Voltaire
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
– Steven Wright
If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If God ever chooses a house to live on earth, it will be the House of Science, not the House of Religion!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If God gave the soul his whole creation she would not be filled thereby but only with himself.
– Meister Eckhart
If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
– George Winters
If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If God had wanted us to think just with our wombs, why did He give us a brain?
– Claire Boothe Luce
If God is playing hide and seek with us, I must confess that I am quite bored with this childish game!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If God is the master of the universe, then what are we? The slaves of the universe? If so, let each man become proud Spartacus!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If God kills, lies, cheats, discriminates, and otherwise behaves in a manner that puts the Mafia to shame, that's Okay, he's God. He can do whatever he wants. Anyone who adheres to this philosophy has had his sense of morality, decency, justice and humaneness warped beyond recognition by the very book that is supposedly preaching the opposite.
– Dennis McKinsey
If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
– Jewish Proverb
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
– Mel Brooks
If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which He has inflicted upon men, He would kill Himself.
– Alexandre Dumas, fils
If government could create jobs and raise children, socialism would have worked.
– George Gilder
If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life.
– Cher
If growing up is the process of creating ideas and dreams about what life should be, then maturity is letting go again.
– Mary Beth Danielson
If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government --and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws.
– Edward Abbey
If happiness could be brought, few of us could pay the price.
– Author Unknown
If happiness truly consisted of physical ease and freedom from care, then the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; it would be, I think, an American cow.
– William Lyon Phelps
If he have faith, the believer cannot be restrained. He betrays himself. He breaks out. He confesses and teaches this gospel to the people at the risk of life itself.
– Martin Luther
If he's got golf clubs in his truck or a camper in his driveway, I don't hire him.
– Lou Holtz
If heaven is going to be full of people like Hardie, well, the Almighty can have them to himself.
– Sir Winston Churchill
If heaven is within you, everywhere you go you will find heaven!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If heaven made him, earth can find some use for him.
– Chinese Proverb

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